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Why Am I So Indecisive? 18 Reasons You Can’t Make Up Your Mind

Ever catch yourself wondering “why am I so indecisive?” If so, it’s time to unearth your reasons and work on them. Decisions don’t have to be so hard!

why am i so indecisive

Not being able to make decisions isn’t something to take lightly. Being an indecisive person seems like a personality trait but it might be the result of some bigger issues. If you keep asking “why am I so indecisive?” there might be a few major reasons as to why.

Believe it or not, you need to be able to make choices for yourself. Sure, some may be harder to make but you should still be able to choose. If you find that all decisions, even if they’re pretty small, are becoming issues for you, something might be wrong. Don’t worry however, with a little soul-searching, you too can become a master decision maker! [Read: Indecisiveness: When your inability to decide is a decision too]

You can’t always let someone else make the decisions for you

There comes a time in your life when you need to start making your own choices. This might be at different times for different people but ultimately, you shouldn’t need others to make your choices for you.

Usually, the older you get the more decisions you need to make on your own. You might ask your parents or friends for advice but you should be the one deciding. This just happens as you get older. Your choices impact your life greatly and always allowing someone else to pull the string won’t be good for you. In the end, you live your life by your own choices and if you’re not making them, are you really living for you or someone else? [Read: 10 decisions you should never let your partner make for you]

Why am I so indecisive?

If this is a question you find yourself asking a lot, there may be a problem. Making decisions shouldn’t be the end of the world. Having issues with the decision-making process usually means there are bigger problems at play. Here’s why you might be really indecisive.

1. Someone always made your decisions for you

This is more than likely your parents. If they’ve always played a part in making your choices for you, that can be a huge problem as you get older. You don’t have any experience making choices. Therefore, you have difficulties making them.

2. You worry too much about what other people think

If you’re constantly worrying about what people are thinking, it’ll make it harder for you to decide. You want to make sure people don’t judge you for your decisions. And so you worry about each and every outcome and ultimately, it makes deciding way harder. [Read: 15 steps to not care about what people think]

3. You have anxiety

Not being able to make decisions, along with a lot of other symptoms, might just prove you have an anxiety disorder. When you’re really indecisive, it could be a sign that you get anxious over the outcomes and therefore, can’t make a choice. Make sure to research other signs to see if this is your problem.

4. You don’t want to disappoint people

Having an issue with disappointing someone could be your problem. You never want anyone to feel bad about a decision you make and so it tugs at your sympathy, making it harder to decide. You can’t let what other people feel affect something that’s impacting your life in such a big way. [Read: 20 common signs of a people pleaser you just don’t see]

5. Your decisions have led you down bad paths before

Meaning, you don’t want a repeat of something that’s happened before. However, you can’t always control what happens. A lot of things in life are out of your control and you only have the power to make a choice. Don’t let your past dictate your future.

6. You don’t want to hurt other people

Again, this is all about thinking about other people over yourself. You need to forget about others sometimes. This is especially true if the decision will impact your life in a major way. Be a little selfish.

7. You overthink everything and make life difficult

If you’re overanalyzing a situation and picturing a bunch of different outcomes, just stop. You’re overthinking it. Simplify the decision and simplify the end result. Overthinking will only do bad things for you. [Read: 11 strategies to learn how to stop overthinking]

8. You’re not realistically weighing up the options

Which means your end result is skewed. Oftentimes, we don’t look at a situation for what it is when we really want to make a certain choice.

Deciding to spend the weekend with your boyfriend will have all sorts of pros and zero cons when it’s what you want to do. But if you know deep-down that it’s the wrong decision and you need to focus on studying or work, the choice becomes a lot easier. [Read: Justifying your life choices: Should you worry about it?]

9. You have perfectionistic tendencies

Let’s get it out right here – there is no point trying to be perfect because perfect doesn’t actually exist. What is perfect, really? On person might have their own definition but when you ask someone else, their reasoning is totally different. When you try to be perfect you’re simply scuppering your own chances at happiness and success.

Rather than being terrified of making a mistake and trying to be perfect all the time, cut yourself some slack and just do the best you can. Surely that’s enough?

10. You’re stressed out and overwhelmed

It’s not possible to make good decisions when you’re stressed and feeling overwhelmed. Trying to make a choice in those types of situations will simply lead you towards the deer in headlights stance. If you’re asking yourself ‘why am I so indecisive’ and you really do feel quite stressed, perhaps learn to manage your stress better and see if your decision-making skills improve. [Read: 14 Really quick stress busters to recharge your mind]

11. You’re a classic people pleaser

A little earlier we mentioned not wanting to let other people down, but being a people pleaser is different. When you are focused on pleasing other people, you put yourself last. You might want to go to a particular bar, but if your friend wants to go to another, you’ll always bend to their will. Perhaps you really want to go to a particular beach town for your annual vacation and you’ve dreamed about it for years, but your partner wants to go somewhere else. As a result, you drop your dream vacation and go with what they want.

This affects your decision-making skills because it forces you to always look towards what will make other people happy and not what makes you happy.

12. You’re terrified of change

Nobody likes change, but the truth is that change is necessary in order to grow. You might stumble on decisions because you’re stuck in your comfort zone and you don’t want to risk upsetting anything. Being scared of change won’t help you to feel any better, it will just mean that you never move anywhere and you live your life in regret. [Read: 10 Sure signs you’ve got the fear of commitment]

13. You’re a ‘what if’ person

Ah, ‘what if this’, and ‘what if that’. Do you have a crystal ball? No! So, why are you spending time worrying about what might happen if several different events align to create an outcome? Rather than worrying about what might happen, simply focus on weighing up the options accurately and carefully and going with what feels right for you.

14. You lack confidence in yourself

If you don’t trust yourself to make good decisions you’re always going to indecisive. Confidence is something that is so beneficial on many different levels and it will help you to make better choices in life. It will also help you to understand that sometimes our decisions don’t work out but that it’s not a bad thing – mistakes help us to learn and grow and lead us towards better decisions in the future. It’s time to build that confidence and trust in your own choices. [Read: How to be more confident with 12 simply daily self-love habits]

15. You’ve forgotten what your aims are

If you’re trying to make a decision that is linked to something you’ve always wanted in life, it’s easy to become indecisive because you don’t want to risk making a wrong choice. However, that can also happen when you’ve basically forgotten what your long-term aims are in the first place.

Whenever you have to make a decision ask yourself whether this choice is in alignment with your aims. If so, take some time to weigh it up and have the bravery to make your decision.

16. You’re carrying baggage around

Not literally, but if you made a bad choice in the past that perhaps affected someone negatively, you’re living with guilt. Guilt can make you freeze when it’s time to make a decision and you’re terrified of repeating the mistake. We mentioned earlier that perhaps a bad choice in the past causes you to second guess new decisions but if you have guilt, that’s going to force everything to be ten times harder. [Read: Emotional baggage: How to help someone put it down & find freedom]

If this is the case for you, take the time to work through your baggage and let it go. There’s no use in carrying out guilt for the rest of your days – forgive yourself and move on.

17. You have a scarcity mentality

If you have a scarcity mentality you assume that there is only one right choice and a million wrong ones. That means whenever it comes to make a decision, you’re paralyzed with fear because you’re terrified that you’re going to make a wrong move. You have just one shot in your own mind and you’re convinced you’ll get it wrong.

On the other hand, those with an abundance mentality think in the opposite way. [Read: What should I do with my life to make it better?]

18. You’re not a big fan of responsibility

It’s possible that you hide away from decisions because you don’t want the responsibility of making them. Some people just don’t want to enter the world of adulthood. It’s scary and it involves hard choices. That’s true, but you can’t be a child all your life either!

How to be an ace decision-maker

If you’re definitely the type of person who’s always asking, “why am I so indecisive?” you need to learn a few ways to help you make those choices. Here’s what you can do the next time you need to make a big decision. [Read: I don’t know what to do with my life: The voice to find your way]

1. Weigh up the pros and cons

There are pros and cons to every situation. If you accurately weigh them both, going with the choice that has the most pros is the obvious decision. It’ll take your emotions and the opinions of others completely off the table.

2. Visualize the possible outcomes

Sit down and think about what would happen with each decision. Now which of those situations made you happy and which didn’t? The choice should be pretty obvious.

3. Determine which decision is best for you and you only

Stop thinking about everyone else. If the choice will affect your life greatly, you need to think about yourself only. How will you feel? What’s best for your life? You’ll have to make choices that are good for you and might not be good for others but in this case, being selfish is necessary. [Read: 15 ways to discover self-love and find happiness]

4. Remember that you can’t please everyone

Not everyone will be happy with every single decision you make in your life. You can’t try to please people. You’ll never be happy if you do. Just realize that, no matter what, somebody somewhere won’t be happy. This can help you push those issues aside so you can make a choice.

5. Trust your intuition

Your gut instinct is just that, an instinct. You need to learn to trust it. If you really, really think you need to make a certain decision even though all the other signs point away from it, trust your gut. Make that choice.

6. Ask for opinions but take them lightly

If you’re having a particularly tough time, just ask a few people for their advice. Don’t ask what they think you should do, ask what advice they might have for the situation. This can help you see things from a different perspective so you can make the choice that’s right for you. [Read: How to express your opinions without seeming cocky]

7. Understand that some decisions won’t turn out the way you hoped

You’ll make some bad decisions in your life. You’re not perfect. Nobody’s perfect. That being said, you need to remember this. It’ll take the pressure off of the decision knowing that it’s okay if it’s a bad one. We learn from our mistakes and it’ll help you with the decision-making process later in life.

[Read: 15 firm ways to deal with an indecisive partner]

Why am I so indecisive? The older you get, the harder some decisions will be. Regardless, if you’re someone who can’t make decisions, you’ll need to know why and how to fix it – choices are a part of life.

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Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...