Does a guy with a girlfriend flirt with you or look at you all the time? Here are 10 things to keep in mind when this guy tries to get your attention. By Alison Ricard
It’s flattering, isn’t it?
This guy is in a relationship with a pretty girl, but he’s also insanely attracted to you!
You may just be hanging out with your friends when you notice this guy staring at you for the first time.
You look away, and don’t think too much about it.
And then again, the next day and the day after that too, you find this cute guy with a girlfriend looking your way and trying to catch your attention.
Curiosity gets to you, and you wonder what’s on his mind.
Really, isn’t he dating another girl already?
So why on earth is he trying to catch your fancy?!
You start glancing back now and then involuntarily to read his mind.
And before you know it, a couple of weeks later, both of you start blushing and stealing glances all the time, or even start flirting with each other.
The guy with a girlfriend and the flirty games he plays
You know he’s dating someone all along, so even when he tries to look towards you or flirt with you, you don’t believe anything romantic could come off of it.
You convince yourself that it’s just harmless fun, and you go with the flirty flow. During your conversations with him, you open up to him faster because, firstly, he’s dating someone else so he can’t be serious about getting close to you, and secondly, because you just want to know what’s on his damn mind!
But somewhere along the way, you start falling for him and his sweet honey-laced words. [Read: 21 signs you're falling for a guy even if you don't realize it!]
The thrill of getting the attention of a guy with a girlfriend
This guy has a girlfriend already. And yet, he’s still trying to woo you and flirt with you! Gee, so that must mean you’re really good and way better than his girlfriend, right? Why else would a great guy want your attention when he already has a girlfriend who loves him?
The thought that a guy with a girlfriend is falling hard for you can be complimenting, and also somewhat daring and reckless. And that makes the whole sordid flirting so much more intense and addictive. [Read: Is flirting really cheating when you're in a relationship?]
And if you do find yourself falling for him or craving his attention all the time, don’t hate yourself for it. We always want what we can’t have, especially a lover who’s already taken by someone else!
10 things a guy with a girlfriend could do to woo you
When a guy who already has a girlfriend tries to win your affection, there are a few things he may try. And almost always, it all starts with the same pattern.
The ten things a guy with a girlfriend could do to win you over almost always starts with a few stares to begin with, and may go all the way to number 10 on this list to win your heart and woo you. [Read: 15 very obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]
#1 He looks at you constantly. If he doesn’t know you yet, this is something you’re bound to see very often. He’ll try to get your attention by looking at you when his girlfriend isn’t around. And sometimes, he may recklessly stare at you even if his girlfriend is around which can make you feel really flattered! [Read: 10 subtle eye contact moves that always work!]
#2 You sense something in the air. You can feel the chemistry between the both of you when you guys have a conversation with each other. If both of you have been introduced to each other, you may see him stare at you intensely while talking to you. [Read: 20 signs of attraction in the first conversation you have with a guy]
#3 He flirts with you. This is something you’d notice, especially when it’s just the both of you and no one’s around.
#4 He texts you constantly. A guy with a girlfriend can’t always stand around and talk to you in front of his girlfriend, so he picks a more convenient way to flirt with you. And nothing beats flirty texting late at night!
#5 He tells you he likes you, but he has a girlfriend. There’s no use hiding a secret that’s obvious. So a guy with a girlfriend may come clean and tell you that he already has a girlfriend, but he likes you a lot too.
He may groan and moan about how frustrating it is for him because he’s in a relationship with someone and still falling in love with you at the same time. This would win him your sympathy. And at the same time, your love too!
#6 He asks you out on a secret date. Can a guy have the cake and eat it too? Of course, he can *as long as you’re gullible or so in love with him already*. He could tell you that he really likes spending time with you and would want to meet you sometime. And even though you know he has a girlfriend, the thought of having him all for yourself could cloud your judgment. [Read: Signs he wants to have a secret relationship with you]
#7 He touches you a lot. If a guy is infatuated by you, he’s definitely going to have a hard time keeping his hands off your body and specific parts. And since he’s come clean that he’s in a relationship but in love with you, both of you don’t think twice about all the lusty touchy feeling flirting. In fact, the flirty touches may even bring both of you closer. [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction to watch out for!]
#8 He’s tried to kiss you, or he’s kissed you already. Passions can rise and sparks can fly when two people are involved in a morally wrong relationship. And it’s only a matter of time before he seduces you into kissing him or even making out with him. It’ll be really hard for you to hold back, especially when he says he loves you so much more than he loves his girlfriend!
#9 He tells you he loves you. Well, you know he loves you already. But this time, he makes it official. He tells you he loves you and wants to date you. But. He needs some time to dump his girlfriend and let her down easy because she’s going to be devastated. A few days or weeks, he says. [Read: Love triangles and the messy complications it can bring you]
#10 He tells you he’ll break up with his girlfriend for you. If you’re firm and tell him that you aren’t interested in dating him unless he breaks up with his girlfriend, he may even break up with his girlfriend for you. *He may just tell his girlfriend that they need space in the relationship for a while!*
Why do these guys with girlfriends do that?!!
Do you want the simple answer? Well, because you’re reciprocating and falling for it!
A guy would stare at several girls he finds interesting *even if he’s in a relationship already*. But he falls only for the girl who reciprocates his stares and shows interest in him. [Read: How men fall in love – The seven stages of love for men]
If you catch a guy staring at you a few times, but you ignore him, he’ll stop staring at you after a few more tries or a few more days. But if you stare back at him or try to catch his eye now and then, it’s a sure sign that you’re interested in the flirty eye contact too. And that’ll give him the motivation to chase you and pursue you.
So if you want to avoid these guys with girlfriends, as hard as it sounds, don’t give them any attention no matter how hard they try or how flattering the idea may seem!
The two kinds of guys who want another girl’s attention
Now here’s something you need to remember. Not all guys with girlfriends constantly look out for other girls to date or flirt with. But there are a few of them that you will come across now and then.
Here are the two kinds of guys who are generally interested in attracting other women outside the relationship. [Read: Why do men cheat? - 3 really big reasons and 27 more!]
#1 A guy who’s doing it because it is fun. This is the kind of guy who knows he’s hitched with a girl but he also knows that he’s got what it takes to impress other girls and win their affection. He uses his flirting skills for fun, and doesn’t try to seduce girls into falling in love with him. He’s like the Casanova who’s happy in a perfect relationship with his girlfriend, but likes the occasional attention from other girls.
#2 A guy who’s uninterested in his relationship. This is the kind of guy who’s in a relationship, but not in love. He may have his own reasons for disliking his girlfriend or the relationship. And without realizing it himself, chances are, he may be falling in love with you too. [Read: The 12 dating stereotypes of girls in a guy's mind]
What do you want to do now?
So you know he’s taken, and yet you like him. So what do you do now? Here are three scenarios that you could choose from.
#1 Do you want to win him over?
Now he’s dating someone else already, and it’s morally wrong to interfere with their relationship. But does he really like you? Would he be willing to leave his girlfriend for you? If you think so, you could steal him from his girlfriend. [Read: The sneaky and effective guide to stealing a guy from his girlfriend]
#2 Do you want to avoid complications and confusions?
If you don’t like complications and drama in your life, walk away. If you find out that a guy who’s trying to flirt with you already has a girlfriend, stop giving him attention. He’ll get bored of trying to catch your eye and give up soon. [Read: How to be just friends with a guy who wants more]
#3 Do you just want to have some fun?
Well, this is the middle path, and it’s reckless and fun. So the guy with a girlfriend is giving you attention and you’re flattered by it. You can continue to just have fun and flirt with him now and then, when you feel like it.
If you’re a bad girl who likes living flirty and dangerous, use him when you’re bored instead of letting him use you! But remember to avoid letting things go beyond harmless flirting or you may fall for him before you even realize it. [Read: 10 sexy ways to seduce a guy who's not yours!]
The last word of advice
It’s flattering when a guy who’s committed to a nice girl seems mesmerized by you. But don’t take these stares too seriously. A committed guy may try to flirt with a girl for many reasons. He may think you’re attractive. He may want to convince himself that he’s still hot stuff who can get any girl he wants if he chooses to. He may just want some excitement in his life. Or he may just be trying to have some fun when his girlfriend isn’t around, or using you to make his girl jealous.
If a guy with a girlfriend starts flirting with you and you really like him, back away from him to see what he does. If he truly likes you and wants to end his existing relationship to be with you, he may continue to pursue you even after you cold-shoulder him. And if he asks you out or tells you he loves you, ask him to break up with his girlfriend and then make a commitment to you. [Read: How to reject a guy and turn him down without hurting him]
Flirting with a guy who has a girlfriend is all fun and dandy, until you fall for him or get into an illicit affair with him. And then what do you get? You risk your neck out for him, and he may walk out of your life and go back into his girlfriend’s arms once your novelty’s worn off.
And you’d be back on square one. And to the rest of the world, you’d always be the bitchy girl who tried stealing a good girl’s boyfriend. You’d be the other woman. And that’s never a good place to be. [Confession: I had an affair with a committed guy and suffered for it]
If a guy with a girlfriend’s giving you attention, feel flattered and enjoy it. Have fun and even flirt back if you must. But don’t fall in love with him, at least not until he can commit to you wholeheartedly.
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