Nothing is worse than feeling ignored and left out. When people ignore you, it might be time to evaluate your behavior and your relationships.
There are times when we go through an emotional rough patch in life and we see things that aren’t really there. Often, when we don’t feel good about who we are, we misread other people and place intention where there is none. When people ignore you, ask yourself why do they? But, you may or may not be misreading the signals, and it might have nothing to do with you.
There are ways we make people in our lives uncomfortable and drive them away. Often, we are completely clueless about how we come across or affect others in our lives.
If you notice that you find yourself alone a lot when you don’t want to be, or that people avoid you, then it might be time to evaluate your behaviors to see if it is all in your head, or the way you connect with people.
When people ignore you – 10 reasons why people might do that
The problem is that the more you believe people intentionally ignore you, the more standoffish you might be. You also might push people away because you already feel rejected. The only way to change course is to take a good look at what is real and what you might be creating for your own reality.
#1 You are too needy. It is uncomfortable to be around someone who always searches for approval or who can’t stand on their own two feet. If you constantly reach out and want more from the people around you, it can become exhausting.
Needy people start to feel like a noose around your neck. No one likes to be choked to death. If the reason people ignore you is because you are way too clingy, then try to back off and give people space. If they continually say they are busy, then give them some room and next time let them come to you. [Read: Effective ways to stop being so needy and insecure]
#2 You are a Debby Downer. No one likes to be with a Negative Nelson. If all you ever talk about are negative things, then you probably bring the room down. Negativity is like a plague, it kills all the fun around it.
If you experience a rough time in life, then work on your own issues and stop throwing them up all over everyone else. If you ask why do people ignore me, think about how you see life, half-full or bottomed out? We all go through phases where things aren’t so great in our lives. But, no one wants to be brought down all the time.
#3 You worry too much about being liked. Sometimes when people ignore you it is because you try way too hard to be liked. When someone is trying too hard to get people to like them they are uncomfortable to be around, specifically because they are uncomfortable in their own skin.
Constantly fumbling over themselves to help, never having an opinion that can’t be changed, or always following instead of leading, can be the thing that pushes people away. Ironically, when people ignore you, it might be because you want too much for them to like you. [Read: People pleaser – 20 common signs most people just don’t see]
#4 You are too intense. It is okay to have an opinion and to be passionate about things. In fact, it is human nature. But, if you are too intense and domineering, then you aren’t much fun to be around. If ranting and raving is your “thing,” then people limit what they say to you or they get an ear full that they are tired of listening to.
It is okay to have a political view or believe in global warming. If people ignore you, then you might want to step off your soap box and just let it go. Save the intensity for the time and place that it is warranted, not every day, all day.
#5 You don’t contribute much to the conversation. When people ignore you, it may be that you just don’t contribute much to the conversation or the friendship. No one likes to be the only one giving in a relationship. It is the give and take that makes bonding with someone worthwhile.
If you are way too passive and don’t have much to say or bring to the table, then it is more like having a vacant seat. If you notice people ignoring you, then speak up and tell them what is on your mind. You are allowed to have an opinion and a voice, so do so. Otherwise, you aren’t really living, you are only spectating. [Read: How to stop being boring and annoying around people]
#6 You’re being too opinionated. We all know that person who has the answer to everything. They typically start with the phrase “you know what you should do?” Often, people aren’t looking for you to solve their problems, they want to vent and talk through them with you to hear themselves think out loud and come to a conclusion on their own.
If you are too opinionated, it might have people ignoring you. No one wants to be told what to do, it makes them feel stupid and as if you don’t think they know how to conduct their own life. [Read: How to express your opinions without seeming cocky]
#7 You are selfish. It isn’t any fun to be with someone who only cares about themselves. If you only want to do what you want to do and aren’t interested in ever closing your mouth and listening and you just talk away, then there is a good reason why people ignore you.
Being selfish is not a good quality to maintain a friendship. Instead of always thinking of you, when people ignore you, it might be time to take a look at who you always put first. If it is you, then take a back seat for a while. [Read: 12 signs you’re being selfish in your relationships]
#8 You aren’t assertive enough. If you feel like you are always being ignored it might just be that you aren’t being assertive enough. You may think you tell people what you want, but you may not be communicating it correctly.
Often, when we feel ignored, it is because we say things and no one seems to be listening. It isn’t about talking more loudly but more poignantly. If you want people to hear you, then speak in a language they understand and ask for what you really want.
#9 People don’t know you need them. Some people have an exterior that they show to the world that is very different from their interior feelings. You might be displaying to those around you that you don’t need anyone or their help.
Perhaps when you feel like people are ignoring you, they really just don’t know that you want or need them around. Take a good look at the messages you send, and see if they coincide with how you feel on the inside or in direct opposition to. [Read: Why do people hate me? 15 reasons why others dislike you]
#10 It isn’t you, it is them. Sometimes when we get anxious that people ignore us we put the onus on ourselves like we have done something wrong. There are times when you try to get the attention of someone, and they just aren’t interested in having a relationship. Not everyone is going to like you.
If you have a couple of people in your life who you feel ignore you, then cut them loose and focus on those people who make you feel fulfilled and cared for. All too often we waste energy on the things that we don’t have instead of relishing in the things we do.
Sometimes when people ignore you, you see it as something that you are doing wrong to deserve their ignorance. The thing is that you can’t control anyone else’s behavior but your own.