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How to Be a Better Husband: 15 Ways to a Happy Wife, Happy Life

how to be a better husband

When you were dating, you were the apple of her eye, but now you feel rotten. Take heart… you can learn how to be a better husband.

Happy wife, happy life, right? So, what if you can’t seem to make your wife happy? Women are temperamental, emotional, and sometimes downright nasty creatures. However, once you are in love, they provide you with a fullness that you hadn’t ever known existed. If you can’t seem to get into her good graces lately, take heart. That can leave many men wondering how to be a better husband.

When you are dating or first married, it probably seemed like you couldn’t do anything wrong, but now everything you do is wrong. A little bit of stress, a lot of becoming accustomed to one another, and even more responsibilities on your plate, it is probably not uncommon to come home to “the look.” You know the look; sometimes you can actually feel it when you walk in the front door.

How to be a better husband

If you want to know how to be a better husband, it’s not that difficult. Pretty predictable creatures, what women want isn’t a diamond ring, a fairytale romance, or a guy who has millions in the bank *well at least not all of us*.

What most of us want is to have unconditional love, someone to rely on, and someone we feel appreciates us even when the horns and crazy eyes come out. Here are 15 tips for how to be a better husband. [Read: First year of marriage – Surprising truths no one talks about]

#1 Kiss her every morning. A small and simple gesture, if you get into the habit of kissing her in the morning and before you go to bed, it will mean the world to her.

Whatever she might be harboring inside will instantly melt when she feels your lips touch hers. A kiss will make her heart soar and tell her that there isn’t a person alive that you would rather wake up or lay down next to.

#2 Have heavy shoulders. There are going to be times when she lashes out at you for absolutely no reason at all. If you overreact and meet her with similar behavior, it will probably end in a mountain that could have just been a mole hill. If she is having a bad day and taking it out on you, just ask her what the real problem is.

And likely, she will come to her senses and see you not as the bad guy, but as the confidant. Even if you don’t recognize it, you are probably not always Prince Charming either. Give her the same leeway that you would like her to provide you. [Read: 14 sweet ways to make your girl feel special and loved]

#3 Be protective. For evolutionary reasons, men are the hunters, and women are the gatherers and homemakers. A woman needs to feel like she is being protected. That isn’t just about having the bat by your side if someone breaks in, in the middle of the night.

It involves protecting her from hurt and emotional pain. One really important aspect for learning how to be a better husband is to banter with your friends at times about how she can be a bitch, but always respect and protect her above all else.

#4 Take something off her plate. Whether she works outside the house or not, the majority of the household chores are probably her responsibility. The reason she might be in a bad mood is that she is way overworked and stressed out. [Read: The 25 sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life]

If you can take something off her plate, it will make a big difference to her and tell her that you love and care for her. Something as small as vacuuming can be the best foreplay there ever was. Speaking of foreplay…

#5 Tend to her sexual needs. It is easy to get into the habit of the big bang, especially when you have tight schedules or the potential for a baby to walk through the door at any minute. If you want to know how to be a better husband, you have to tend to her sexual desires and sometimes do things that are just for her.

Spend a little more time exploring her zones, and you will see a change in her immediately. Taking the time to put her needs above yours says “I love you” in a very specific way. [Read: How to please a woman – Sexually and emotionally]

#6 Remember the important things. To guys, an anniversary or a birthday may just be another day. But, to a woman, those dates are important things. Women like to be fussed over once in a while. When you don’t acknowledge a special day, that gives her the impression that you don’t care enough to remember.

If you can remember the stats of all your favorite baseball team members, but don’t remember the day you said “I do,” that says to her that you don’t care all that much. To a woman, that is very hurtful and can make her feel insignificant. [Read: 8 relationship dates men should never ever forget]

#7 Say thank you. Sure, she does the laundry every day and picks your socks up off the floor. But, news flash, she doesn’t enjoy it, and it isn’t mandatory for her. When you do chores around the house for long enough, it just becomes something that people expect from you, and you are no longer appreciated.

Make sure that she knows how grateful you are that she takes care of your needs, without being asked… just because she loves you.

#8 Tell her you love her. Men aren’t always the most verbal creatures. Everyone speaks a different language of love. For some, doing things shows love. For others, buying gifts shows love. Most women need to hear “I love you” verbally. Don’t just assume she knows; tell her so.

#9 Send or leave her notes. There is nothing that will brighten someone’s day more than to get little love messages from her husband. If you see something that reminds you of her, take a picture and send it with a caption. The key is to let her know that you are thinking of her throughout the day and that she is forever on your mind. [Read: 15 cute things to text your woman when you miss her]

#10 Take her out frequently. When you become a couple, a lot of things change. It suddenly becomes much more comfortable and inexpensive to sit on the couch and watch a movie. Every woman wants to be wined and dined whether she is married or not.

Make sure to take her out to dinner or just for drinks. Getting dressed up and feeling like you are dating again can rekindle any relationship and is a great thing to do if you want to know how to be a better husband.

#11 Surprise her. Spontaneity is not easy to come by when you have a full life, a full-time job, and children. But, that doesn’t mean that every day should feel like Groundhog Day. If you notice that your wife is getting a little burnt out, surprise her with flowers or a nice gift just to make her smile.

If you want to get extra points, plan a vacation away for just the two of you. Typically, she has to make all the plans. If you take the lead and make arrangements, you will be the best husband ever. [Read: 12 real reasons why couples drift apart over time]

#12 Listen. Sometimes women feel like all we do is talk, and nothing ever gets absorbed. Show her that you are listening by engaging in the conversation… by talking. I know, exactly the opposite of what you would think. But, talking when she is talking shows her that you are attentive and listening not staring blankly from la-la land.

#13 Care about her day too. Women are very empathetic creatures. Quite likely, she asks how your day was when you walk in the door. How often do you ask how her day went? Most guys omit the question thinking they are going to get a barrage list of bad things.

When you don’t ask, it feels like you don’t care about her world. If you want to know how to be a better husband, ask her how her day was. [Read: Marriage advice – 11 tips for happily every after]

#14 Relish in her accomplishments. Sometimes it is hard for a man to watch his wife be more successful in her career or to find success when they aren’t finding the same. The key to knowing how to be a better husband is to relish in her accomplishments and to let her know how very proud you are of her hard work.

#15 Talk nicely about her to others. Nothing makes a woman feel better than hearing you talking kindly about her. Sometimes it is uncomfortable to tell someone how you feel, that is why taking the opportunity to tell someone else when she is within earshot is an excellent way to make her feel good and tell her how you feel indirectly.

It is not always easy to make the woman in your life happy. In fact, at times it can feel like you are the bane of her existence. When you become a couple, that makes you her number one confidant, her heavy shoulder, and the person she is going to take her unhappiness out on.

[Read: 15 subtle things that change when you get married]

The keys to knowing how to be a better husband are to show her empathy, hug her, smile at her, and appreciate her. Stop worrying about the expensive gifts; a little attention is golden.

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Julie Keating
Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

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