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How to Not Fall in Love When You Know It’ll Never Work With Them

how to not fall in love

There’s a difference between liking someone who’s good for you and falling for someone you can never have. Here’s how to not fall in love with them.

I think at some point in our lives, we all fall in love with someone we know we can never have. If you’re lucky enough to never have felt this, that’s great. And for those of you who know how this feels, I know just how badly you’ll want to learn how to not fall in love with that person.

Sometimes you can’t help it and other times you try everything you can think of to stop falling for them. The truth is that it’s not easy. However, it is possible if you know just what to do.

Why you may not want to fall in love with someone

There are a lot of reasons you may not want to fall for someone. Maybe you know they’re bad for you or maybe they’re already in love with someone close to you like a friend or family member. For those reasons, you need to stop yourself from falling in love with them.

You may also already be with someone else. The point is, you may want to know how to not fall in love with someone because doing so would be detrimental to important things and people in your life. [Read: 13 ways to avoid falling in love with someone]

How to not fall in love when you know you can’t have them

Knowing you can never be with someone is hard. It can even take a toll on your mental health but it gets even worse if you allow yourself to fall in love with them anyways. I know how difficult being in that position can be. Here’s how to not fall in love with someone even if it seems inevitable.

#1 Be realistic. Now is not a time for fairytale mentality. Truthfully, now is the time to be brutally honest with yourself. Sit yourself down and be realistic. Yes, the idea of being with that person is great. They’re charming and you find yourself easily drawn to them.

But think about what being with them would actually be like. Since you don’t want to fall for them, you know there’s an issue there. Be realistic about that issue. Be honest. That issue is not one you can surpass so stop trying. [Read: 15 ways to handle the pain of loving someone you can’t have]

#2 Repeat the reasons you can never be together in your mind. Once you know the reasons you can’t be together, constantly repeat them. You’ll need regular reminders about why you can’t love that person if you want to avoid falling for them.

So keep telling yourself why you can’t have them and it’ll steer your mind away from falling in love.

#3 Talk to your friends. So long as the person you like isn’t dating one of your friends, they’re a great source to go to. Talk to them. Get their opinions. You can even get them to help with steering you away from that person if it comes to that.

Your friends can be a harsh reality check sometimes too. They do care about your feelings, so they’ll be gentle. However, if they know it would hurt you more in the long run, they’ll be brutally honest about how to not fall in love with someone you can’t have. And if they’re not honest, they’re not good friends. [Read: 17 bad friends you should unfriend from your life]

#4 Avoid seeing them anywhere. If you can, stay away from all the places they frequent. I know it can be hard to not see them everywhere, but try your best to stay away.

If you do see them somewhere, get away before they see you. This can’t always be avoided if they’re dating someone close to you, though. However, you can still stay away and avoid talking to them a lot.

#5 Don’t follow them on social media. This will be the hardest rule to follow but it’s essential if you want to know how to not fall in love with someone. You can’t be checking in on them all the time. And since I know social media is how you’re doing that, you need to stop following them.

Delete them from Facebook and unfollow them from everywhere else. It’s not worth seeing them and feeling hurt that you can’t have them all the time. [Read: The dangers of social media and why it makes you feel so crappy]

#6 Stop talking about them. We all have a tendency to talk about those we like all the time. I know how much I must annoy my best friend with how much I talk about the man in my life. But if you’re trying to learn how to not fall in love with them, you need to stop talking about them.

Stop bragging about their great characteristics and stop mentioning them at all. The next time you feel like bringing them up in conversation, just stop. It’s not worth it.

#7 Force yourself to think of their flaws. They do have flaws. I know they might seem perfect in your eyes right now, but they’re flawed people. You need to think about those things all the time.

Whenever you feel yourself gushing over them in your mind, point out those flaws. They’ll help you see why you can’t possibly be a good match and that’ll stop you from falling for them. [Read: You never see their flaws and 9 other signs you’re only infatuated]

#8 Focus on yourself. A great way to know how to not fall in love is to just focus on yourself. Be selfish. Staying busy with hobbies and friends can help you get your mind off that person. The less you think about them, the less likely it’ll be that you’ll fall in love with them. So join a gym or a few clubs and focus on bettering yourself and having fun.

#9 Meet other people. There’s really nothing as powerful as falling in love with someone else when you want to stop yourself from falling for someone. So get out there and meet new people! If you meet someone just as amazing with whom you can actually build a future, you’ll forget all about the other person. [Read: 16 exciting new ways to meet other people]

#10 Think about the consequences. There are consequences to falling in love with that person. That’s why you’re trying so hard to learn how to not fall in love with them. Replay those consequences in your mind and you’ll realize that it’s not worth it.

#11 Push them away. If they don’t like you, it’ll be a hell of a lot easier to not fall in love with them. So keep them distant. Don’t really respond when they talk to you and try your hardest to make them see that you’re simply not interested in even a friendship. Just keep in mind that you don’t want to be mean. Just be disinterested and they’ll stay away. [Read: 10 things you do that are definitely pushing them away]

#12 Commit to not falling for them. If you’re on the fence about whether or not you want to let yourself fall for them, you’ll definitely fall in love. Why? Because it’s still a possibility in your mind and therefore, you won’t completely stop yourself.

You have to commit to the idea of not allowing yourself to fall for them. In order to know how to not fall in love, you need to learn how to discipline yourself. Make the commitment and stick with it.

[Read: How to stop liking someone you know you can never have]

Love is such a complicated thing. You may think you can’t stop yourself from loving someone if you truly do. However, following these tips work and will help you learn how to not fall in love with someone you just can’t be with.

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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