How to Date an Introvert: 15 Important Things You Can’t Overlook
There are a few things you should know that could make or break your relationship with an introvert. Read on to learn how to date an introvert.
The purpose of this information is not meant to lure an introvert in, but to help you learn how to handle conflicts and other touchy situations that pop up in your relationship. Knowing what an introvert is like is the first step in understanding how to date an introvert.
While people possess different types of personalities, being an introvert is not one of them. Instead, introversion is just one aspect of a person’s overall personality. A person can be more inclined towards introversion or extroversion. And those who lean more toward introversion are believed to be shy and guarded.
That is absolutely untrue. The fact is, introverted people are categorized as such because they draw energy from peaceful and quiet situations, while they feel tired and drained when placed in a grand social setting.
Usually, people believe introverts are shy and quiet because they’re just doing their best to adapt to situations they find uncomfortable. Some introverts can be quite outgoing, but it takes a toll on them. The effects can’t be seen, but you can be sure they feel it. Sometimes, they don’t even realize it. [Read: Outgoing introverts?! 12 traits that make someone an ambivert]
How to date an introvert – What it’s like to date one
Do not think that dating an introvert is an obstacle. It’s just a personality quirk you learn how to respond to. But you should remember that your partner’s introversion affects your relationship in a lot of ways.
Since introverts feel drained from interacting with a lot of people, their career or social life might cause them to feel stressed out. This, in turn, manifests as negative emotions like anger, sadness, and even indifference. Admittedly, a lot of things cause this, but knowing about someone’s inclination toward introversion gives you a clue about what’s really bothering them.
What you should know about introverts and their dating habits
Apart from that, introverts lean toward generalized dating habits. When you know how that works, you’ll know your way around your relationship better. You resolve conflicts more easily and make your partner feel more comfortable in settings they deem stressful or emotionally draining.
#1 They don’t usually find their partners in crowded places. Note that this is not because they prefer quiet places. It just makes sense because they function better without a crowd. They make unbiased decisions without pressure and also attract more people when they are in their element. [Read: Why introverts are much more than just shy and awkward]
#2 They rarely make the first move. Talking to people is taxing enough. Talking to someone you like is usually even more difficult. Introverts prefer it when they hold the reins in a conversation, but it’s counterintuitive for them when they start the conversation.
They function better when they focus on creative and thoughtful pursuits, rather than social interactions with strangers or people they hardly know.
#3 They’re not as expressive as extroverts. They process things quietly and subtly. Extroverts seem to prefer analyzing things when surrounded by people, or when there’s someone there to throw their ideas at.
When it comes to dating, it can be a little hard to determine what an introvert is thinking. They prefer to internally analyze their situation, instead of telling their partner how they feel about it.
#4 They prefer to stay in. Even when their job requires them to go out and interact with people, like in a business setting, they would rather take up the offer to stay inside or go somewhere quiet so they can relax and contemplate day-to-day activities.
If you want to know how to date an introvert the right way, take your partner to a place where they feel most comfortable, and home is your best bet. [Read: Netflix and chill! How to do it the right way]
#5 They are mostly non-confrontational. Introverts are the kind of people who won’t start a fight directly. They usually approach disagreements using passive-aggressive tactics or subtle expressions of their emotions. This is probably the perfect example of your partner telling you nothing is wrong, when in fact, something is very, very wrong.
How do you date an introvert?
After familiarizing yourself with their dating habits, the next step is knowing how to date an introvert, in a way they’d appreciate and like.
#1 Make the first move. Initiate. Wondering how to date an introvert and impress them? Making the first move is your safest bet, because introverts are generally reluctant to approach people they hardly know. Aside from that, find out what your chances are from the start. [Read: How to make a move on a girl – Ultimate ways to seal the deal]
#2 Do it in a quiet setting or through social media. You want your introverted partner to be at their most comfortable, which is away from a lot of people or not in the same room as you.
#3 Be clear about your intentions. Honesty gets you further than you think. Opening up to a person shows you trustworthy. It’s also the best way to start a relationship: openly and honestly.
#4 Don’t be aggressive. Being honest is different from being aggressively frank. You don’t have to be too forward. Tell your love interest how you feel, but don’t make them feel uncomfortable about it.
#5 Take them somewhere relaxing on the first date. It’s an easy choice to make, considering your crush doesn’t like to be thrown into a crowd of people. Say no to concerts and yes to intimate acoustic sets. [Read: Top 50 amazing first date ideas to wow your date]
#6 Take them to exciting venues now and again. Just because your partner’s an introvert does not mean that they don’t want to experience new and exciting things. Go bungee jumping, if you want. Just not with a crowd.
#7 Communicate as much as you can. This is extremely important, because it is the only way for you to know how you feel about each other and anything else that concerns your relationship.
#8 Refrain from too many public displays of affection. PDA draws strange and disapproving looks, but your partner will be more concerned about the fact that a lot of people are looking. When out and about, stick to small, simple gestures.
#9 Ease them into your friendship circles. Your friends are still strangers, which means your partner won’t be enthusiastic about meeting them all in a group. Try to introduce them in small groups, instead of letting them meet at a party. [Read: How to be more outgoing – 12 ways to help your partner step out of their comfort zone]
#10 Don’t surprise them with family meetings. It’s the same concept with friends but more intense. There’s a different air about meeting someone’s family because they are a more permanent fixture in your partner’s life.
#11 Know when to step back. Your partner needs to constantly interact with you, which makes it that much harder for them to find their happy place—which is alone, most of the time. Give them some space, but try to be there when they need you.
#12 Learn from each other. Being together is not enough. You need to learn from your partner and vice versa so that you can grow together. Introverts learn just as much from their extroverted partners, you know. [Read: 60 get-to-know-you questions for a new romance]
#13 Make them feel safe. The best way to do this is to let them know that you accept them, no matter who they are. Introversion is not a flaw, but not being able to cope with it can be difficult for your partner.
#14 Have a lot of patience. It’s not easy to be with someone who feels more empowered by themselves. You need to know when to let go and when to step forward. This type of balance can be achieved by being a patient and understanding partner. [Read: 14 unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]
#15 Urge them to test their boundaries. Being an introvert is not a life sentence. It just means your partner needs a little push before they can explore other aspects of their personality. With that in mind, it’s good to urge them to step outside their limits and test the waters with new and different experiences.
No matter who you’re dating, there will always be quirky parts of their personality to surprise you. Luckily for you, introverts are now more open about talking about their personalities and how they cope with their own unique challenges.
If not for the information we have now, introverts might still be misunderstood and stereotyped unfairly. Help your partners out by taking the time to learn more about them.