A great way to get someone interested in you is to get them to talk about themselves. Here are 50 fun, personal questions to help get you started.
A psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook wanted to know how people were able to form romantic relationships with strangers they just met.
Arthur Aron had an hour to create intimacy levels between couples usually done over the course of weeks or months together, so he decided to create a set of questions that could elicit this type of connection.
At the end of the experiment, he was both surprised and happy to note the subjects did feel a stronger connection to their counterparts compared to the control group.
How did he do it? By giving the couples a set of personal questions they could ask each other on the first date.
Why does exchanging personal information work?
By telling your date about some personal non-TMI stuff during the first date, you are essentially letting them get to know you better at a rapid rate as opposed to just letting the getting-to-know-you stage play at its own pace.
By asking personal questions immediately, you are essentially hacking your love life. But we’re not complaining. You’re not being duplicitous by trying to make your date like you better, you’re actually doing the opposite by telling them all about yourself.
When a person finds out something personal about you, they will be able to sympathize or empathize with you. These two components are what makes relationships work. If they don’t exist within a relationship, new or otherwise, there’s little to no chance of ever making a connection.
Now, this is the tricky part. There is such a thing as too personal. Some questions might be inappropriate and there are also some things best left said on the first date. Here’s a brief guideline for you to follow. Do not ask anything about:
#1 Bodily fluids. Save that for when you start sleeping together.
#2 A death in the family. Let them express themselves about this on their own time.
#3 A mental disorder. Neither of you should really discuss this without consulting with a professional.
#4 Salaries. It’s just too tacky.
#5 Past relationships. You do not want to go there. Yet.
The questions you ask should be based on things that will show you what type of person you’re dealing with. Although this is not an interview, it is still a way for you to gauge how they react to certain topics and how they express themselves—either honestly or with reservations. No matter what they say though, the very act of sharing will definitely help you grow closer. Here are some examples you may use during your first date:
Note: Keep the conversation going by asking an open-ended question like, “Why?”
#1 Where did you grow up? What was it like growing up?
Now that you know how to get up close and personal with a date, it’s time to try it out on your next one. We hope these tips and personal questions can help you find the love of your life or at least your love for the night!
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Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...