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How Well Do You Know Me? 40 Questions To Help Couples Grow Together

Instead of asking, “how well do you know me?” ask questions to get to know each other better. There is always more to learn.

how well do you know me questions

Being a couple means taking the time to get to know each other better. It doesn’t have to be a whole lesson plan about the ins and outs of dating so-and-so. You can simply learn from each other as the relationship progresses.

Why is it important?

As time goes on, you’ll discover your partner’s good parts, as well as the bad. You’ll notice the little things that make them happy and the big things that make them sad. When you start to put all these together, you realize that the person you love is just human—but that’s what makes them so special.

They may have their flaws, but they also have their stellar points. And because you love them, none of it matters—because you only see the person you’ve come to know and love.

However, as time continues, you either part ways or grow old together, all while still learning new things every day. Isn’t that the best part about being with someone you love? You never run out of new things to learn about them. [Read: 36 random funny questions for flirty guys and girls]

How and when can you ask these things?

You can look through this list of questions anytime you like and see if an opportune moment comes up to broach the subject. You can even set a time for you and your partner to go on a date night, specifically designated for asking such questions.

Don’t forget to have fun while you’re doing this. Don’t be disappointed if your partner doesn’t know the answer because the point of these questions is for you to learn more about one another. If they don’t know the answer, it lets you have a conversation about it.

Just appreciate the fact that you’re learning even more about your partner. And remember: exercises and conversations like these make relationships better because they build connection and intimacy. They also allow you to open up more than you’ve ever opened up in the past.

That is why you should approach this with an open mind and an eager sense of learning about your partner. With this mindset, you will be greatly rewarded with a new understanding of and appreciation for your loved one. [Read: 17 really funny questions to get to know your partner better]

Questions about yourself

These questions are designed to let your partner know about the little things that you’d like them to notice. It can also be about your deepest desires and how you approach things in life.

Remember, this is not a test. You’re not going to punish your partner for not knowing an answer.

Whether you’ve talked about these subjects or not, you can’t assume your partner will remember or know everything about you. You are both always changing and have more to learn.

Use these questions as a stepping stone to a new stage of your relationship, not a battle to the end. That serves no purpose in relationships where you’re supposed to discover the ins and outs of the person you’re with. You just have to ride it out and enjoy every little bit of the person you love, inside and out. [Read: 20 revealing questions to get to know someone better]

1. What are my pet peeves?

Your partner may know that you hate when people don’t recycle, but you probably get annoyed at more than one thing. Talk about how you don’t like people who overshare online or don’t put their grocery carts back.

2. What can’t I eat?

Maybe you have allergies or just really don’t like something. If the list is long, share it with them. They may even want to keep it saved on their phone for reference. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility]

3. What are the tells when I lie?

Even if you lie about little things like forgetting to defrost the chicken, your partner probably knows how to tell.

4. When shouldn’t you talk to me?

Is it when you’ve had a rough day or when you are exhausted, or maybe when you’re hungry?

5. What do I identify as my worst habit?

Nail-biting, burning toast, or maybe you buy too much stuff on Amazon? [Read: Make a date worth your while with these tips]

6. What do you think is my worst habit?

What you think is your worst habit may not be what they think. Talking about this can help you bond and maybe even laugh.

7. What am I most proud of?

Your degree, your parenting skills, your growth through trauma. All these things are wonderful, and I’ll be they’re proud of you too.

8. What am I insecure about?

They probably know this, and they may even have more answers than you do.

9. Why do I like my favorite movie?

This is better than asking what your favorite movie is. It is a bit deeper.

10. What is my fondest memory as a child?

You have probably shared this. If not, now is your opportunity. [Read: What are you passionate about?]

11. Where do I dream of going?

What is your dream destination or vacation? Maybe you have more than one. this could lead to you making plans.

12. What are my short-term goals?

Do you want a promotion, switch jobs, get another degree, or buy a house?

13. What are my long-term goals?

A family, to travel, to be able to retire at 50?

14. What are the little things that make me happy?

Flowers, morning coffee? Maybe cute baby videos?

15. What am I afraid of?

This can go a funny route like spiders, or it can go deeper. Whether they know the answers or not, this is a great time to talk about it. [Read: 20 strange but true phobias about love]

16. How’s my relationship with my parents?

If they can describe this even minorly, you know they’ve been paying attention.

17. Who do I consider my closest friend? *other than you, of course?!*

They should know at least one of your close friends.

18. How did my heart break the first time?

If you’ve had a heartbreak before your current partner, you have probably told them at least a shortened version. If not, telling them that story can clue them into a lot about you.

19. What was the moment that made me decide I could trust you?

Was it your first date or a month in? Do they know, or have you never shared this?

20. When do you think I first fell in love with you?

They know when you told them you love them, but do they know when you knew? Do you?

[Read: 50 revealing questions to know if someone’s right for you]

Questions about your partner

On the other hand, these questions are designed to give your partner insight into your way of thinking. It’s easier to ask these questions, so your partner will know how much you want to be involved in their life.

1. Which friend of yours do I trust the most?

This is a great and insightful question. Whether they get it right or wrong, you can talk about why.

2. What do I like about you the most?

This might be a long answer.

3. What drew me to you?

Was it their looks or their sense of humor or something indescribable?

[Read: 60 get-to-know-you questions for a new romance]

4. How’s my relationship with your family?

This is something they should surely know.

5. What do I do that makes you mad?

If you both know this and can talk about it calmly, you may be able to prevent it from being an ongoing struggle.

6. What do I do to calm you down?

A back rub? Sit quietly together? Make them laugh?

7. Which of your shirts do I dislike?

This is going to be funny, but they probably know. [Read: 10 steps to take to tell your partner you’re unhappy]

8. Which habit of yours do I want you to change?

Maybe they smoke or steal the sheets, but the odds are you’ve talked about it more than once.

9. How often do I want to hear from you?

Everyday? All throughout the day?

10. When do I need you the most?

Is it when you feel stressed, sad, happy, or just bored?

11. When do I need you the least?

Maybe you prefer to be alone at certain times. That is totally fine, but do they know when that is?

12. When have I ever been a pain in the ass?

Probably more than you realize, but make sure to accept their answer with respect if you want an honest answer.

[Read: 30 dirty would-you-rather questions to ask each other]

13. What can I do to improve myself?

You shouldn’t have to change for your partner, but they may see parts of you that you are in deniable about.

14. What can we do to keep our love alive?

Should you communicate more? Are these questions helping? Maybe you need more romance?

15. When did you first realize that you loved me?

Do they remember? Did it come on suddenly or gradually?

16. What made you stick with me through our first fight?

What made you want to work through that and come out stronger? [Read: How to fight the right way in a relationship]

17. What is an ongoing issue with us?

What do we always fight about or struggle with? How can we fix it?

18. What haven’t we talked about that you want to?

Is there a topic we haven’t discussed that has been on your mind?

19. When do I get most annoyed with you?

Are the things you do that I don’t find funny but really bother me?

20. What do you do that makes me laugh?

They definitely know this one, but it is a nice light question.

We recommend that you ask both sets of questions, so you can share with each other, as opposed to just hearing one person’s side. We hope that these questions can give you a better grasp of what it takes to keep your relationship going, as well as the things that you’re doing right.

[Read: 30 questions to keep the romantic and naughty spark alive in love]

Do you think these how-well-do-you-know-me questions touch on the most important things about the person you’re seeing? Tell us what other questions you’d like to ask in the comment section below.

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...