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30 Healthy Ways to Be the Man in a Relationship & Achieve True Manliness

If you want to know how to be the man in a relationship, it’s a lot easier than you think. It all comes down to maturity and basic human kindness.

how to be the man in a relationship

We tend to equate a “man” with someone who makes a lot of money, wears nice suits, and works out every day at the gym. But these ideals are all wrong; they aren’t about knowing how to be a man. Sure, he’s still a man if he does those things, but knowing how to be the man in a relationship is more than just the physical and shallow things.

This is something that we don’t talk enough about. What does being a man mean? How can you be the man in a relationship?

It’s time to explore and dig a little bit deeper into what it means to be a man in a relationship. Because trust us, having a fancy car is nothing. Of course, those things are nice, but at the end of the day, she’s choosing to be with you, not the car you drive.

[Read: What makes a man attractive? The things guys should focus on instead]

What does it mean to be a man in a relationship?

Throughout most of the years in human history, gender roles were clearly defined. The man was the one who worked and was the protector of the family, and the women took care of the children and the home. 

But times have changed, and gender roles have become blurred. Women have careers, and some dads stay at home with the kids. So, you might be wondering what it means to actually be a man in a relationship.

While not all men are the same, and not all women want the same man, there are some guidelines. Being a man in a relationship really comes down to being a good person and a good partner. It’s not difficult at all. Well, it is to some men, but it shouldn’t be. 

Just the fact that you are reading this article, trying to learn what it means to be a man in a relationship, speaks volumes. It says that you are capable of it. You want to be better, and that is the best place to start.

So, let’s go into specifics about how to be a man in a relationship.

[Read: How to be a man – 25 traits to define manliness the way it should be]

How to be a man in a relationship

Becoming a better man doesn’t mean losing your place in the world as a man; it’s not a weakness to be better. In reality, it makes you even more of a man that you have self-awareness. So, here are some ways you can work on being a man in a relationship.

Let’s “man up” the right way!

1. Embrace your emotions

You’re not a robot. The “men don’t cry” mentality is doing the opposite of making men; it’s preventing them from being men. Embrace your emotions in your relationship. That is one of the keys to how to be a real man. 

You don’t need to hide how you’re feeling, whether those feelings are positive or not. [Read: 15 gender stereotypes about males that we need to let go of for good]

2. Practice vulnerability

If you want to know how to be a man in a relationship, then open up to your partner. Being closed and unemotional isn’t going to get you anywhere.

We like to avoid hard conversations, but those conversations help us grow and develop as people. Open up to your partner, and let them in.

3. Actively listen

Your partner wants to be with someone who’s going to sit down and actively listen when they want to share a story or their feelings.

People want to be heard. A real partner will put the phone down and give attention to their partner when needed. [Read: Defining true masculinity – What does it mean to be a man?]

4. Don’t try to fix your partner

You chose to be with your partner not because of who they could be, but because of who they are now. A real man in a relationship isn’t trying to change his partner. He loves his partner for who they are… flaws included.

5. Practice empathy

A lot of our problems would be solved if we just sat down and listened to one another. It’s important to practice empathy in your relationship and not judge your partner for their feelings or opinions.

Try to look at the situation from her perspective, taking into account her experiences and point of view. [Read: How to recognize the signs of emotional neglect in a relationship]

6. Take responsibility for your actions

If you made a mistake, being a man means owning up to what you did. We all make mistakes. But the difference between a boy and a man is how he handles his mistakes. 

Learning how to take responsibility for your actions and apologize isn’t easy. But it’s a sign of growth and strength. [Read: 20 qualities in a guy that make him a really good man]

7. Say what you feel

It’s easy to bottle up all your emotions and not tell anyone how you’re feeling. But that’s also a sign of poor communication skills. Being a man means expressing your feelings truthfully to your partner. Share how you’re feeling with the partner you trust.

8. Kindness goes a long way

Learning how to be the man in a relationship isn’t about being dominant every second of the day and competing with your partner.

Remember that a relationship isn’t a competition. Use kindness to lift your partner up. You’ll see the good a little bit of kindness can do to a relationship. [Read: How to make a girl feel better – The tried and tested ways]

9. Change the way you argue

It’s easy to be petty during an argument and criticize your partner. But conflict, when used properly, can resolve issues and grow the relationship. Instead of being negative and petty, change the way you argue and use the experience to get to the root of the problem.

10. Practice self-worth

A lot of men have emotional baggage, because they think they “shouldn’t” talk about their feelings. But your past experiences have brought you to this point in life, and not all of them were a walk in the park!

Explore your past, work through your issues, and understand that you are worthy of a healthy and loving relationship. [Read: How to respect yourself: The secrets to self-worth and self-belief]

11. Talk about sex

You want to satisfy your partner, right? Well, this means you need to talk about sex with them. What do they like or not like? What do they want to try? Explore your partner’s needs and desires in the bedroom and vice versa. You want to have more than just sex. 

12. Don’t be selfish

No one likes a selfish person, do they? And your partner doesn’t either. A real man isn’t selfish. He won’t do things like play video games all day and ignore his partner. He knows that is what a child does. Make sure that you don’t just think about yourself.

13. Put your partner’s needs at least equal to – if not before – your own

Part of being unselfish is genuinely caring about your partner’s needs. Sure, you have needs too, but you can’t just care about those. You have to prioritize your partner’s desires too.

If you do, they will naturally prioritize your needs right back. If both of you do this, then you will have a happy relationship. [Read: Selfless love – 18 traits that sets it apart from selfish love]

14. Be chivalrous

Some say that chivalry is dead, but it doesn’t have to be! A real man takes care of his partner. He will do things like open doors, pull out chairs, and help them put on their coat.

Chivalry isn’t degrading to women, it’s basic human kindness. Most women still appreciate chivalry, so that’s a great way to be a man in a relationship.

15. Spend quality time with your partner

Sure, it’s fun to go out with the boys or play video games. But you can’t always do your own thing. If you want to be alone, then you should be single.

When you are in a relationship, you need to spend quality time with your partner, and not just go do things on your own.

16. Take charge sometimes

Men tend to be more dominant than women, but some men are weak and don’t take charge. Instead, they make their partner do all the work.

Whether it’s planning a trip or calling for a reservation at a restaurant, a real man takes charge and doesn’t make his partner do all the heavy lifting. [Read: How to be dominant – 20 calm and firm ways to be a real alpha]

17. Have your partner’s back

If other people are talking badly about your partner, don’t ever jump on the bandwagon and agree with them. Instead, defend them and tell the other person/people that they are a great human being. A man always has his partner’s back and will defend them with love if he needs to.

18. Be reliable

No one likes it when someone is unreliable. Some men are very unpredictable, or you just can’t rely on them. To be a man in a relationship, your partner needs to know that they can count on you for anything and that you are not going anywhere.

19. If you say it – mean it

As the saying goes, “actions speak louder than words.” If a man says he is going to do something, then he actually follows through and does it. He is not flaky, nor is he an “all talk no action” kind of person. [Read: 20 Characteristics of a good man that makes him reliable and desirable]

20. Help with chores

Some men think that it’s a woman’s job to do the household chores such as cooking and cleaning. But that thinking is childish! A man should pull his own weight and not only clean up after himself, but help clean everything. He is a good “roommate.”

21. Be timely

When someone is responsible, they are also timely. They know that other people’s time is important, so they don’t waste it by being late all the time. A real man is prompt and doesn’t keep people waiting on him.

22. Don’t be lazy

Even if you work a job with long hours, a man doesn’t just lay around taking naps all day when he is off work. He will do things with his partner and not just expect her to do everything. [Read: Stop being lazy – how to confront and overcome your excuses]

23. Compliment your partner

A real man knows that it is important to make other people feel good. He will compliment his partner on anything and everything. Whether it’s how she looks or the dinner she cooked, he always lifts her up with his words.

24. Be affectionate

Being a man in a relationship also includes affection. Being cold and distant is not something that partners want. Hold your partner’s hand and cuddle with them at night.

25. Don’t forget special occasions

Believe it or not, there are men out there who forget their partner’s birthdays – or don’t even give them Christmas presents! You need to remember special occasions like that. If not, your partner will be angry. [Read: How to be more romantic – 46 cute ways to melt your partner’s heart]

26. Express your appreciation

In a good relationship, partners don’t take each other for granted. Instead, they acknowledge everything their partner does for them. Thank them for doing everything – even small things like going to the grocery store once a week.

27. Talk to your partner

In order to have an emotional connection, you have to have conversations with your partner. And this goes beyond what the weather is like or how work was that day. Talk about meaningful things.

28. Be positive

No one likes a complainer or a pessimist. It’s important to be as positive and as happy as you can be. When you aren’t, it just drags you and your partner down. Real men don’t want to do that. [Read: How to be more positive – 24 steps to a happy and dramatic life shift]

29. Be mature

Being a man is different to being a boy. As we mentioned, a real man would never spend 24/7 playing video games and ignoring his partner. He is mature and does what an adult should do, not what a little boy would do.

30. Make your partner feel special

By doing all of the things on this list, you will be making your partner feel special. And don’t forget the little things like flowers or love notes. Making them feel like you are the luckiest guy on earth to be with the will make you a real man in your relationship!

[Read: Fun and sexy ways to please a woman in bed every time!]

After reading this, hopefully, you can use some of these tips to help you learn how to be a man in a relationship – the true type of manliness, that is!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...