How important is male bonding and guy time for men? Do they really need to spend time with other guys just to feel good? Evolutionary studies show that men really open up and reveal their true colors only when they’re with other men.
Can it be that men, while seemingly pursue skirts like their very existential meaning depended on being lost in it, actually have a lot of fun while hanging out with their male buddies?
Can it be that beer buddies bring out the real man in a man?
A man who doesn’t fake it, who doesn’t take out that fifty dollar bill to pay for a three dollar espresso, who doesn’t put on a accent, who doesn’t let half his shirt stick out of his jeans in an act of studied carelessness, who’ll burp if need be, and ask the car to stop because he needs to pee.
The Story of Guy Time and Male Bonding
In Ethology, a species is said to have male bonds if the males regularly form coalitions in which they mutually support each other, especially if such coalitions are used to attack other groups or individuals. Male bonding is not very common in animals, but it is found in both chimpanzees (e.g. raiding behavior) and humans (e.g. war).
Although females occasionally participate in such groups that kill others, they are normally a minority in a coalition that is composed mostly of males.
What is Guy Time?
Guy time among men is often based on shared activities, instead of emotional sharing, which is more typical of women’s friendships. Stereotypical common activities of the typical guy time include watching sports on television, drinking beer, or going for a cigarette. The first widely noticed use of the term was in Men In Groups (1969;2004) by anthropologist Lionel Tiger.
According to Tiger, “…the apparent explosion of interest in sports and hot women means that men are trying to find new outlets to express their inherent maleness, which they may feel otherwise obligated to repress.” While his theory points a finger towards social etiquette, today’s society going through role reversals may also mean that women don’t need men as much as they used to and therefore, here’s another reason for men to focus on more guy time and take up activities like biking, football, etc.
This helps exercise their maleness and obviously the women aren’t going to join in on something they have worked towards stamping out – the Male Chauvinistic Pig! The men then make the most of them being thrown together and call it guy time. But while this theory however displays the full picture in bad light, it apparently seems that men like hanging out and have just as much fun with their guy friends as the women do with their bunch of hens at the club.
Talking about Beer, Bikes and Babes
All three are a totally different kettle of fun when it’s just with the boys, indulging in guy time and male bonding. You can be as loud as you want. In fact the louder the better, while guzzling beer. You don’t have to worry about excess froth spilling on the table or beer trickling down your chin. You can eat your buffalo wings and all the onions you want, and you won’t find a guy friend who’s going to complain.
Cursing is allowed as is rough housing. Muscles are never vulgar and a paunch needs no hiding. In fact, if it peeks from under the shirts after bursting out of the pants, held tight by that belt, it only means you have to watch out for this guy. He’s the Homer Simpson or that bottom’s up champ who’s going to drink you under the table.
Conversations in Guy Time
Conversations revolve around bikes and babes and even the talk about work is honest stuff where a spade is called a spade and a bastard a bastard. Women take a completely different hue when discussed by men. If women want to know what men really think about them, they should eavesdrop. A man will never tell a woman what he really thinks of her, unless he’s thinking nice things. But the flipside will be revealed to the boys. Sometimes it may take a couple of pints before this happens. But happen it will.