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The 60 Bromandments: Bro Code Rules Every Guy Should Live By

bro code rules

What separates a normal guy friend from a bro is a set of unspoken rules that every bro needs to live by. And this is what is called the bro code rules.

Some call it “bromance” or “bro-hood,” but only men understand the bond they share with their other Y-chromosomed brethren. It’s not the kind of relationship they have with girls or even with their own biological brother, but that unspoken and “no homo” kind of love between “bros.” Is it really a surprise there are bro code rules only guys know?

Brohood is a kind of bond that explains how bros get away with trading insults as a form of a greeting, get along despite all the dangerous and embarrassing pranks they pull on each other, and how they still share a beer and laugh immediately after a fist fight.

What is a bro and what is the bro code?

A bro is many things, but a bro is not an ordinary guy friend. Bros do a lot of things for and with their bros: good, bad, funny, or stupid.

The bro code is an unspoken set of rules that define what it is to be a bro and how a bro must act in the presence of other bros.

Bromandments – The 60 bro code rules all bros must follow

*Regarding bros and girls – these set of rules define the code of conduct between bros and their interactions with the opposite sex.

#1 Bros before Hoes girls. This rule is the founding principle of being a bro and is said to have preceded even the concept of the bro code. This rule states that guys should put his bros in priority over the pursuit of the opposite sex. [Read: What if you and your friend are into the same woman?]

#2 A bro must have another bro’s back no matter what the circumstances are. A bro must be there for his bro in times of need be it financial difficulty, the pursuit of girls, fistfights, and drunken shenanigans.

#3 A bro’s immediate female family members are off-limits. This means a bro shall never lay hands on another bro’s sister or hot mother. However, he can comment on their level of attractiveness. Stepmoms and stepsisters are an exception.

#4 A bro’s girlfriend or ex-girlfriend is off-limits as well. Meaning no bro can sleep, flirt, or make lewd comments about their bro’s current girlfriend or exes.

#5 A bro shall not cock block another bro. Also the rule of “dibs.” If a bro liked a girl first, you serve as his wingman and not ruin his chances. [Read: What is a cock block and 11 reasons why they do it]

#6 Girls can be bros too. Bros must acknowledge girls with bro-like qualities. When a girl acts like a bro and follows the code, she is accorded equal protection and respect. Which means …

#7 Girl bros are off-limits too. A bro is not to make sexual and romantic advances to a girl bro unless to tease her.

#8 If you catch a bro’s wife or girlfriend cheating on him, you inform him regardless of the consequences. Because rule number one.

#9 When a bro finds another bro’s girlfriend annoying or repulsive, he shall stay silent until the time they break up. Always respect your bro’s choices. Even if it doesn’t suit your preferences.

#10 When a bro’s girlfriend or wife calls you to ask for his whereabouts, you have no idea. Because rule number two.

**Rules Regarding Daily bro-to-bro activities:

#11 A bro must not gaze at a naked bro’s body. [Read: Here’s how you can be masculine without being a jerk]

#12 Bros do not give each other birthday cards.

#13 Bros do not accompany each other with clothes shopping.

#14 Bros are honor-bound to help another bro who is moving house or making DIY repairs.

#15 Bros must never ever share dessert.

#16 If a bro volunteers to do a food or alcohol run, he is entitled to claim the leftover change.

#17 A bro doesn’t let a bro marry if he is younger than 30 years of age.

#18 A bro never rents a chick flick to watch alone. This must be done in the presence of his other bros.

#19 Bros never cry. Except when a family member or another bro dies or if they get “dirt” in their eyes. [Read: When a woman is crying – The gentleman’s dos and don’ts]

#20 A bro shall not apply sunscreen to another bro.

#21 A bro must never reveal how many women another bro has slept with.

#22 A bro is not required to remember another bro’s birthday. *Nor does he fuss when his birthday was forgotten.*

#23 A bro must provide a condom to another bro in need.

#24 A bro must return the favor when another bro buys a round of drinks.

#25 A bro always leaves the toilet seat up for another bro. [Read: The man code – The 10 most important rules of a gentleman]

#26 When a bro tells another bro a secret, he is obliged to take that secret to the grave.

#27 When a bro was not invited or was not able to attend another bro’s wedding, they don’t make a fuss about it.

#28 A bro is never vegan.

#29 A bro must always order enough pizza for all his bros.

#30 A bro must not fuss when another bro doesn’t reply to his texts, calls, or emails.

#31 A bro never sleeps with another bro’s ex. [Read: Hegemonic masculinity: A perspective missed by sociologists]

#32 A bro doesn’t sulk and give another bro the silent treatment.

#33 Bros don’t masturbate in front of other bros.

#34 A bro doesn’t unfriend another bro on Facebook.

#35 Bros don’t wax their body hair. Razors, clippers, and even a piece of broken glass is enough for a bro.

#36 A bro doesn’t need to notice or compliment another bro’s haircut.

#37 A bro doesn’t ask another bro to accompany him to the bathroom.

#38 Bros don’t pout for selfies. [Read: 30 alpha male characteristics that make him a real alpha]

#39 Bros don’t need umbrellas. Unless to offer shelter to a chick in need.

#40 Bros don’t choose their own nicknames. Their other bros will be the ones to give it to him.

#41 Bros take care of fellow bros who’ve had too much to drink. Only after they draw on his face with Sharpies and take photos of him covered up with a lot of empty beer bottles.

#42 A bro of a bro is my bro—bros don’t get “bad vibes” with their kind like women do.

#43 When a bro has a kid, all his bros become honorary uncles.

#44 A bro never keeps a photo of another bro in his wallet. [Read: 13 rules of etiquette for the modern gentleman]

#45 Bros always honor a bet.

#46 Bros must always pay their debt. But only after their bro reminds them of it.

#47 Bros pay for their dates.

#48 When a bro decides to do something stupid while drunk, you are honor-bound to hold his beer and film his antics.

#49 Bros don’t give other bros teddy bears.

#50 Bros don’t make eye contact when eating a banana. [Read: Where are the men? Feminizing men kills our society]

#51 A bro doesn’t let his broken-hearted bro drink alone.

#52 A bro never tickles other bros.

#53 Bros don’t giggle.

#54 If bros share a house or an apartment, you are obligated to stay away when a bro brings a date home.

#55 Bros don’t touch each other’s hair.

#56 Bros don’t smell each other on purpose.

#57 A bro’s nuts are off limits to pranks, assaults, or even fistfights. [Read: The bond between wingmen and lead players]

#59 Bros don’t share drinks or feed another bro with his own spoon.

#60 Once a bro, always a bro. The bro title is one you carry to the very end.

[Read: The 22 unspoken guy code rules all men need to know]

True card-carrying bros are expected to abide by these unspoken rules that define what it is to be a true bro. Regardless, breaking the bro code rules doesn’t make you less of a bro if you’re true to your guy friends. After all, bros don’t let bros do stupid things alone.

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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...
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