Every woman has sat in bed thinking to herself, should I call him? It’s easy to give your friends advice, but it’s much harder to listen to your own.
You cannot believe the number of messages I get from friends asking me, should I call him? You’re probably thinking it’s an easy answer – it’s either yes or no. But for many of us, it’s not easy. Women have always been placed in a position where we are the ones being chased, but sometimes you need to switch up the roles.
The ‘should I call him’ answers revealed
Now, there have been times when I shouldn’t have called a guy, and of course, I did call him. But what are you going to do? I wish I listened to my own advice, but this is a learning experience. So, before you call him, you need to look at the situation at hand and see if it’s a smart move.
Why can’t anything be easy?
Well, here are some answers to the should I or shouldn’t I call him question.
#1 Follow your gut instinct. Okay, you’re sitting here freaking out about this guy. Is this because of your self-esteem and ego? Or do you actually like him? Follow your gut instinct when it comes to this.
#2 Don’t call him if he said he was going to. I’m quite firm about this. I think if someone openly says that they’re going to call you, then don’t call them first.
If someone likes you and verbally tells you to expect a call from them, then they’ll call. In this case, I wouldn’t chase them by messaging or calling. Because it’s more than just the call, this is the way to see if they’re full of shit or not.
#3 But, you can call him. Is this confusing? I’m sorry, but, do you like this guy? Are you interested in seeing him? If you are, then call him. If you had a first date and it went really well, I’m sure he’s going to call you, but there’s nothing wrong with you making the first move.
It shows him that you’re interested, and then he may be more relaxed about the situation since a lot of the dating scheme rests on the guy. But like I said before, if he told you he’s going to call you, then don’t call him. [Read: When should a guy call after the first date?]
#4 It’s the 21st century. It’s kind of outdated to wait for a guy to call you. I mean, even if you haven’t had the first date, there’s nothing wrong with calling him and asking him out. He’ll probably find it refreshing and a turn on to see a woman taking charge. I mean, if we’re living in the modern world, I guess it’s time to act like it.
#5 If he’s been playing mind games, don’t call him. If you’ve been hooking up with this guy for a while and he calls you sometimes, but then goes on a dry spell and kinda plays these mind games with you, screw him. Really, do not call him!!! This guy isn’t worth any of your time. I know, the sex was probably decent, but you can find it somewhere else. [Read: How to play a player – 12 ways to return the favor like a boss]
#6 He may be shy. Interestingly enough, not every guy is from a Hollywood chick flick. Some guys may be interested in you, however, they’re nervous. He may want to call you, but he may also be taking his time because he’s unsure.
#7 Does he even have your number? If he has your Instagram or Facebook, then there’s no excuse for him not having the ability to contact you. But in some situations, you may be the one to have his number and not the other way around. So, that automatically means you have to be the one to write or call him first. That way, you open the way for communication.
#8 You create certainty. Many men aren’t sure about making the first move because they don’t know if you’re interested. Maybe you haven’t been on a date yet, or you have, but the “I had a nice time” line doesn’t really mean much. Calling him makes it obvious that you’re interested in seeing him again, and it kinda rubs the ego.
#9 Are you always the one calling him? So, you’ve been on a couple dates with a guy and you’re thinking it’s going well, however, you’re always the one texting or calling him. I get it… I’ve been there.
Listen, you need to stop. I’m sorry, but you’re doing all the chasing, and it’s now looking like you’re a little too hungry. It’s not bad to feel this, but you want it to be reciprocated. So, stop writing him and see what happens. [Read: Tired of chasing? How to make a guy chase you instead]
#10 There are no rules. If you’re waiting by the phone because you have to follow “the rules of dating,” I hate to break it to you, but there are no rules. You just have to be true to yourself and do what feels right.
You don’t have to wait two days to call him or some crap like that. Okay, but really, you shouldn’t call him if he told you he was going to. This is like the only thing I am standing strong by. But listen, you have to do what feels right.
So, now that you know the dos and don’ts to the question, should I call him, are you going to? Only you know what feels right. But remember, be prepared to deal with the consequences, no matter what you decide to do.
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A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...