Are you afraid to ask your crush out? You may be madly in love with someone, but the deep fear or rejection or of proposing to them could actually turn out to be something else, a scary kind of obsessive love, called limerence.
Do you have a fear of rejection in love? Are you afraid to ask someone out? Could it be limerence?
How does limerence work, and why does it make us fear rejection so much that we’d rather keep our feelings bottled up and never tell our crush that we love them?
The fear of rejection in love
In limerence, the fear of rejection in love may be so great that the person may never want to approach their crush, or the limerent, because they are so worried that they may be rejected.
The shyness of the person based on the fear of giving the limerent object an undesirable view can prevent a relationship from occurring even when both people are interested.
People who experience limerence are so afraid that their crush may never like them back, that they actually never ever reveal their feelings, at times, even for years and decades!
The funny thing about limerence is that it is all about the satisfaction of knowing the limerent person exists, and that’s it. As long as this limerent object reciprocates your moves, or even shows a sign of reciprocation, you would walk in the clouds and your life would be a wonderful picture.
The foundation for limerence is not any objective reality but reality as it is perceived, and the dreams in the person’s head.
The person who experiences limerence sifts through and rearranges situations and conversations to give himself or herself a hope that things are turning positive with time. The smallest of positive signs are picked up and endlessly analyzed for meaning. A warm smile, a friendly hug, or a second glance is all it takes to float on cloud nine.
Limerence makes a person oblivious to the fact that there may not be any reciprocation on the part of the limerent person, and this intense form of a crush can be carried quite far before the heartbreaking rejection can be accepted.
The effects of limerence
Limerence can cause several physical changes in the body as well as several emotional changes. The physiological correlations of limerence include trembling, palpitations, weakness, stammering and shyness. Limerence can also cause apprehension and nervousness because of the constant worry that is associated with the limerent fear.
The extreme sensitivity that is heightened by the fear of rejection can lead to lost opportunities as there will be no occasion where the person would even think of making a move to let the limerent object know about his or her feelings of affection.
The feeling of limerence can make a person feel ecstatic at times and deeply rejected at other times. Much like an addictive drug, it is extremely addictive and yet painful where the sensation of limerence is usually felt, in the midpoint of the chest.
Limerence can create a scenario that is extremely topsy-turvy. There would be times when there will be reciprocation and other times when there will only be anguish. There may also be uncertainty and this would only increase the feeling of limerence. Increased limerence can create altered scenarios depending upon the way the person’s crush reciprocates the subtle advances.
Limerence is a very subtle and yet dangerous form of infatuation, because it is so close to what we feel when we are in love, and yet it is nothing like love. It’s never easy to find out whether you are really in love with someone or is it just a casual infatuation, or maybe even limerence. But as long as you know that you can muster the courage and let the other person know what you feel, then there is nothing to worry about. The first and the biggest sign of limerence is hiding one’s feelings for someone.
As long as you keep those loving secrets at bay, you don’t ever have to worry about getting trapped in the wicked form of love that knows nothing but intense happiness and heart wrenching sorrow, the love that is known as limerence.
So if you want to avoid the torture of limerence, avoid secret love stories and confess your love to your crush. It’s the best way to beat limerence, and get over the fear of rejection in love.
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