Being comfortable in your own skin is about knowing who you are and being okay with it. A true sense of self and acceptance of who you are, it is the most freeing feeling in the world. But it isn’t always easy to be comfortable in your own skin.
We all have little insecurities that can make us feel out of place in new situations, but an overall feeling of you being okay with you is what it means to be comfortable with the person that you are.
Have you ever been around someone who feels uncomfortable in their skin? What does that mean? It means that they aren’t really sure of themselves. They typically don’t have an opinion about anything, they are jittery, can’t sit still, aren’t sure about what they are wearing, what they are saying, and are constantly looking for approval.
How to feel comfortable in your own skin
When I was in my teens, older people would tell me “when you hit your thirties things will change” – as if being older was the magic catalyst for self-acceptance. When I did hit my thirties, I still wasn’t very comfortable in my own skin. Sure, as the years have gone on I have learned to be more accepting of myself.
But, it is through life lessons, not age. So, I hope that these 20 mindsets can help you to find your inner peace long before you are my age.
Learning to accept who you are and be okay with you, is like finding heaven – the noises stop, the anxiety stops churning, and you finally feel okay. [Read: 25 memorable life lessons to perfect your life]
Here’s how to be comfortable in your own skin.
#1 Stop caring so much about what other people think. If you want to be comfortable in your own skin, you have to stop worrying about what other people think. If you are trying too hard to get other people to like you or to accept you, then you aren’t worrying enough about how you feel about yourself.
In the end, you will always have to live with you. So, stop caring what other people think and start focusing on how you feel about you. [Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]
#2 Realize that no one is perfect. Some of us have an inner drive to be perfect. We think that if we can just get everyone to like us and be perfect, then we will feel comfortable with who we are and then we can start to accept ourselves.
The thing is, that to be comfortable in your skin, it isn’t about trying to be perfect. It is about accepting the fact that you aren’t perfect, but neither is anyone else. Give yourself the same license to be less than perfect that you give everyone else in your life to be comfortable in your own skin.
#3 Understand that everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has things about themselves that they don’t like. The hottest girl to the most gorgeous guy is hiding an insecurity about themselves that you don’t know about.
That I can guarantee. To feel comfortable in your own skin, sometimes it is nice to know that you aren’t alone. We all have things about ourselves that we wish we didn’t have, or things that we wish we did. [Read: 10 signs of low self-esteem and 5 ways to increase it]
#4 Know the secret that we all have times when we re-think and question ourselves. Yep, everyone rethinks things in their lives and continually questions who and what they are. It is okay. It is totally human to wonder about who you really are, if you are a good person, and if you are doing the right thing.
We all do it. To find acceptance for yourself, you have to know that you are not the only one who struggles with themselves pretty frequently.
#5 Come to terms with the fact that we all have “crazy.” We all have a crazy side. Not the kind of wild and crazy, the sheer crazy. If you think that you are the only one keeping the crazy in, you are dead wrong. We all self-monitor our behaviors and fight our inner nutcase!
#6 Don’t let anyone tell you who or what you are. If you want to be comfortable in your own skin, you have to stop letting other people tell you who you are. If you have been labeled the fat girl, or butter face, or the skinny guy, stop internalizing it.
When all is said and done, your skin doesn’t define who you are, the inside does. And, that is where you have to feel comfortable, living inside it, not by worrying about what is on the outside. [Read: Why is inner beauty more attractive than outer beauty? + How to get that inner glow]
#7 Stop thinking that there is an ideal person. There is no such thing as the ideal person. We all make mistakes, we all have imperfections, we all do stupid things, and we all fuck up once in a while. Stop trying to be ideal and just be you.
Life is much happier when you stop trying to be what everyone else wants, and you be who you want.
#8 Do the right thing guided by your moral compass. If you do things in life that you feel alright with and always follow your moral compass, then you will find comfort in your own skin.
Often, we don’t feel comfortable because we aren’t true to what we think is right or we are letting someone else guide us. Always guide your speech and behavior by what you know in your heart is right, and you will find inner peace and acceptance.
#9 Forgive yourself for whatever you did in the past. To be comfortable in your own skin, sometimes you have to forgive yourself for things you have done in the past. Forgive yourself for not being as thin as you want to be, for losing a friend, or for whatever it is that you are holding onto.
Sometimes forgiving other people is much easier than forgiving yourself. If you do, however, you will find that you will like yourself a whole lot more and be comfortable in your own skin. [Read: How to respect yourself – 14 secrets of self-worth and self-beleif]
#10 Let go of past hurt. Not being comfortable in your own skin can come from being teased when you were younger or having an overly critical parent. To feel comfortable with who you are, you have to let go of your past and stop dragging it into a bright future. You can’t change what happened before, but you can stop it from tainting your future.
#11 Redefine yourself. If you aren’t comfortable in your skin, then redefine who you are and who you want to be. We all tell ourselves a story about who we are, so tell yourself a different story. Create a new story about who and what you are, and your life will change to match, I promise… it is really true.
#12 Start each day with a clean slate. Stop over-analyzing or bringing up the past to move forward and find acceptance for yourself. Even if you messed something up yesterday, today is a whole new day to do things differently.
So, start each new day as if you are going to set the world on fire and you will find the confidence you need to meet each new challenge. [Read: How to make each day count and more meaningful]
#13 Make incremental changes to the things you don’t like. If there is something that you don’t like about the way you look or who you are, then it might be making you not feel good in your own skin.
Don’t become overwhelmed by setting unrealistic goals to becoming who we want to be. Make a promise to yourself to make one small change every day. Whether your goal is to lose weight or be a better person, make one small improvement every day, and soon you will find that you are exactly who you want to be.
#14 Hang out with people who make you feel comfortable. Sometimes being uncomfortable in your own skin stems with being in relationships that don’t make you comfortable. If you want to be more comfortable, then hang out with people who foster you, make you feel good and confident, and who provide you unconditional love. [Read: 17 bad friends you should unfriend from your life]
#15 Figure out who you are and who you want to be. Figure out what it is about yourself that makes you uncomfortable and work on it. Is it that you don’t like the way you look? Change it. Is it that you talk too much, then practice being silent.
Only you can change what you don’t like about you and is making you uncomfortable. So, stop procrastinating, figure it out, and do what it takes to find your inner confidence.
#16 Stop being a pleaser. If you aren’t comfortable in your own skin because you are constantly trying to please everyone around, then stop. The only person’s happiness that you are responsible for is your own.
If you stop trying to please everyone else, you will be surprised at how quickly the focus on you will transform your life and allow you to find acceptance for yourself. [Read: People pleaser – 20 common signs most people just don’t see]
#17 Go with the attitude of “it’s on them.” I have a friend who told me one time if someone doesn’t like you or something you’ve done, but you are okay with you, then it is on them. That has helped me tremendously. If I am okay with me and they aren’t, then it is on them.
#18 Find your own style. If you are trying to be trendy or someone that you aren’t, then stop. Part of being comfortable in your own skin is being comfortable with your style and what you are wearing. Wear what makes you comfortable, don’t wear makeup, and just be yourself! [Read: How to make yourself happy – 20 habits of incredibly happy people]
#19 Do things you want to do. If you feel uncomfortable in certain circles or doing things like going to clubs, then stop going. Part of being comfortable in your own skin is about doing what you want to do and saying no when you don’t. Be honest, and you will stop feeling the inner turmoil.
#20 Give yourself self-affirmations. I know it sounds completely stupid and silly, but tell yourself daily who you are and that you are worthy of acceptance. If you speak it, you live it. It really is that easy.
[Read: How to improve yourself – 15 ways to discover self-love]
Being comfortable in your own skin does have a component of maturity and self-development. But, if you are finding yourself uncomfortable in your own skin, it is up to you to change it. Stop trying to be someone you aren’t.
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