You were all geared up for your last date. You’d practiced all of your party story anecdotes, brushed up your knowledge on the wine list, and looked into the best hot-spots for an interesting outing together, yet she still looked bored. Date didn’t call you back? The truth is, both men and women have habits that are off-putting for a date, and you might have one of them!
Nerves aside, women love a good date. Getting dressed up to go hang out with someone potentially fun, clever, and handsome is nothing to roll your eyes at, plus – who says no to a free meal? But despite all of this, something you might do a few things that can completely ruin the date you’re trying so hard to perfect. Sadly, there are just some things men do during dates that drive women up the wall. [Read: How to have the perfect first date]
What men should quit doing on a date
If you want to keep your date seated through to the dessert course, we suggest you avoid doing the following:
#1 Refuse to pick anything. Look, nobody likes making the first move. Men and women equally despise the “where do *you* want to eat?” conversation. Sorry to say, you’re the guy, and unless you’re with a highly outspoken girl, she’s likely going to want you to plan the date or at least throw some suggestions in the pile.
Not sure which movie you want to see? Don’t know where you should go for dinner? The sheer fact that your date’s company is enough to make you happy is sure to put a smile on her face, but unless you want to eat sushi and see the latest chic-flick, we suggest you make a suggestion. [Read: 12 tips to transform you from a nice guy to a real man]
#2 Show up late. This is a universally disliked practice. If you want to go on a date with me, don’t arrive fashionably late. Nobody likes being the first to arrive, but showing up late is not only rude, but it makes her question whether you got a better offer, or if you’re re-thinking your date.
#3 Look outwardly unsatisfied. Have you seen the viral video of the woman who dressed up for Tinder dates in a fat suit, opposite of what her skinny Tinder pictures looked like? The whole event was taped, and out of the many men she lunched with, only one stayed. In fact, some came right out and told her she was fatter than her picture implied and got up and left. Rude, much?
Even if your date isn’t perhaps the lady you’d pictured, don’t make a scene about it. Haven’t you ever had an insecure moment? If you’re unsatisfied with your date’s appearance or personality, there’s no reason to be rude about it. Just buck up until the date is over. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find yourself asking her out again. [Read: 12 important dating rules to keep it classy]
#4 Stare at the waitress. I once had a date who eyed a bartender, and when he noticed I had caught him, he smiled suavely and said: “Women should always wear leggings, because it makes their butts look great.” Needless to say, I wasn’t impressed.
In general, flirting or gaping at the waitress or another girl on your date is considered bad form. Can you imagine if your date started scoping out the hot guys, or offering up her number while sitting across from you? Definitely insulting.
#5 Complain about prices. Alright, it’s an expensive restaurant, but there’s nothing more uncomfortable than hearing you gasp and repeatedly widen your eyes and mouth, and exclaim “wow!” as you flip through the menu. We’ll do our best not to order steak and lobster, if you do your best to keep it zipped. You can show how cheap you are after you’ve got her hooked, not before.
#6 You don’t pay. Alright, so the modern woman demands equality and yes, this may go against the feminism we’re always going on about, but we also want you to at least pretend you’re going to pick up the cheque unless we say we’re going Dutch or paying for our own meals. This is the sign that you’re a gentleman, and gentlemen are treated like gold in the dating world. Don’t you want to be treated like gold?
#7 Show up with a buffer. You’d be surprised, but it happens. If you’re going on a date, try not to bring your friend along. If you feel like you’re going to need a buffer so that your attempt at connecting isn’t awkward, make sure you suggest it right away.
Instead of asking her on a date, ask her to a group activity like a movie, and let your friends know ahead of time that you are trying to make a love connection, so that they can offer you guys a bit of space. I must repeat: DON’T, bring a third party unannounced.
#8 Talk AT Her. You’ve got some great accomplishments, a plucky family life, and possess myriad funny stories that were practically invented for social conversations. But do you have to tell them all at once? Talk *to* your date, not at her. Nothing is going to put a girl off more than you treating her like a sounding board, when she hardly knows you.
Plus, conversation is the key to a strong first impression and eventual romantic connection, so make it happen! Ask her what she does for a living, what she studies, where she grew up, if she has pets, what shows and music she likes, what she would do with a million dollars. All of these questions are designed to draw out your date and make conversation happen. [Read: 20 ways to have the perfect first date conversation]
#9 Text. We live in the digital age, so it’s more than likely you’re going to bring your phone on your date with you, but do your date a favor and set it to silent once she gets there. It’s mind boggling to see a couple at a restaurant who text and check their social media feeds the whole time. Dates are designed for you to get to know someone and to have a good time while you’re at it. How can you find out if you want to see her again if you’re too busy checking Twitter?
#10 Try to have sex. With all the talk of what is and is not consensual these days, men should really stop pushing for nookie at the end of a first date. If she wants to, you can bet your bottom dollar that she’s going to let you know, but if she ends your date with a hug or a kiss and nothing more? Don’t push your luck. [Read: 7 signs a girl gives away if she wants to sleep with you]
Want to make your date, any date, a success? Be sure to follow our sound advice on how not to be fickle, rude, or pushy. Instead, work your charismatic magic with great conversation, a chivalrous approach, and give her your full attention. Who knows, you may be her best date ever.
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Waverly Smith is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peo...
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