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14 Signs You’re Ruining Your First Date Unknowingly

signs you're ruining your date

Is your excitement and eagerness to impress your date ruining your first date? Here are 14 date ruining signs that are more common than you think.

First dates always involve a lot of hops, skips and jumps.

They’re exciting and fun, and yet, nerve wracking and tricky.

But it’s natural to feel a tinge of excitement and nervousness at the same time.

After all, you have the potential chance to meet the one that you’ll love and live with for the rest of your life.

It truly is a rather big deal.

[Read: 6 ways to get to know someone on a date immediately]

Now you may be eager to please your new date and may have a series of conversations in mind to last through dinner, but did you know that the first ten minutes of a date can almost always predict the outcome of the date?

And even if you make a perfect first impression with your stance and your posture as you wave hello, you can still go terribly wrong within those first ten minutes.

And after those ten minutes too!

[Read: 12 dating rules to be a classy dater]

How to avoid ruining your first date

In your eagerness to please a date, there may be a few things you indulge in that could actually turn out to be the big nail in your date coffin.

We know you mean well, but at times, even your best intentions could be misinterpreted by your date, especially when you’re trying to enthusiastically prove some positive quality about yourself.

Are most of your first dates turning out to be your last date too? You may be saying something or doing something that could actually end up being a turn off to your date. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs for girls]

On your next first date with a special someone, keep these 14 tips in mind. It could definitely help you get to that all important second date.

#1 Be who you are. Don’t be someone you’re actually not just to impress the cutie sharing the table with you. On a first date, stick to being the best person you can be without changing who you really are. Learn to improve your dating skills for the better by becoming a better person over the long term. If you try to fake a *better personality*, it’ll always show and reveal the fake you actually are before the end of the night. [Read: How to be a good date all the time]

#2 Don’t be an open book. One of the best kept secrets of a perfect first date is the aura of mystery that surrounds both of you. If you like your date the first time you meet them, you would be excited to meet them again to learn more about them. The same rule works for your date too. Learn to reveal a few details on the first date so you still have many exciting things to share on the next date.

#3 Getting too friendly. Yes, you’re on an exclusive date with a special someone. Good for you. But remember, this is still your first date. Don’t behave like you know this person since forever by getting too friendly or comfortable around them within the first half an hour.

Tread cautiously and slowly, and constantly read your date’s reaction to see if they’re enjoying spending time with you before you try putting an arm around them!

#4 It’s your world. Don’t revolve the date around yourself. And unknown to many daters, this is where they fail miserably. With the intention of trying to portray yourself favorably, you may end up making the date a one person show without even realizing it.

If you can’t remember the last thing your date spoke about, you’ve been talking for far too long already. [Read: Things you need to do on a date to have a really good one]

#5 Too many questions. A first date involves many questions, true, but all those questions should be a part of a conversation. They should never sound like a questionnaire. Each time you ask a question, try to keep it open ended so your date can share their views with you or you can share your own views about it in your response. Just in case you’re wondering, an open ended question is one which can’t really be answered with a simple yes or a no.

If you ask too many questions one after another, it’ll seem like you’ve prepared your mind with a well rehearsed list of questions. Try to create a memorable conversation using a few great questions. [Read: 40 open ended first date questions to get to know your date better]

#6 The nervous you. A first date carries a lot of pressure with it, but don’t let it get to you. As long as you have a fun conversation and be who you really are, there’s no reason why your date shouldn’t like you.

And even if the date doesn’t go your way, it’s no big deal. You’ll always have another first date with some other special person. Just don’t let the pressure of experiencing a perfect first date get to you or you’ll just end up turning your date off.

#7 Dressing to impress. Some people believe it’s best to dress in something simple, while others believe in dressing over the top. If you dress simple and your date dresses up smartly to impress you, you may end up putting them off because it’ll seem like you haven’t made the effort. And if you dress over-the-top, you may just embarrass your date.

So what’s best? Dress appropriately depending on the venue of the date, but don’t ever keep it too casual and simple. Make it obvious that you’ve put in an effort to appear presentable, and your date will appreciate you better. [Read: What to wear on a first date]

#8 High expectations. Always try to go to a date with no expectations. If you have high expectations, even a perfect date may fall short because of the high standards you’re setting them.

#9 Sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry between two people comes naturally. You can build it, but you can’t force your date into feeling it. If you find your date mate sexually exciting, don’t overdo it and try to forcefully build the sexual chemistry by touching your date unnecessarily or by trying to grab their hands. When it happens, it’ll happen. [Read: 10 tips to build the sexual tension on a date]

#10 Overly accommodating. Being cooperative and understanding is one thing, but being overly accommodating is a completely different thing. Don’t put up with your date mate’s whims and fancies if it makes you feel uncomfortable. If you come across as a spineless pushover, your date may take you for granted or worse, get bored of your lapdog attitude.

#11 The bossy dater. This is the other extreme of the accommodating trait. Don’t constantly pick an argument with your date’s point of view just to show off your confidence or to keep the conversation going when you’re afraid of having nothing to say. Try to change the subject of your conversation every five minutes unless your date is really excited to talk about it.

#12 You’re over your ex. Just because you’re on a date with someone new doesn’t mean you have to prove to them that you’re completely over you ex. Many daters make the mistake of trying to convince their date that they’re completely over their ex by bitching about how bad their ex or the old relationship was. You really don’t have to whine about your ex just to prove you’re over them. The fact that you’re on a date pretty much means that! [Read: Signs he’s secretly dating someone else already]

#13 Over-complimenting your date. A few genuine compliments can do wonders for a first date. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and your date does too. But when you go overboard with your compliments *especially when it’s obviously superficial*, you’d end up leaving your date feeling awkward and embarrassed.

Or on the other hand, you may also make your date subconsciously feel like they deserve someone better than you!

#14 Planning your second date. Don’t talk about your second date in the middle of your first date. For most daters who ruin their date, second date plans slip right into the conversation in a first date, especially when they’re smitten by their date mate. And that’s an absolute no-no. [Read: 20 signs of attraction on a first date]

Unless your date tells you they’re having a great time or if both of you are already indulging in a bit of soft petting or enjoying a discreet footsie under the table halfway through the date, don’t assume your date likes you back already. Making plans for the second date even before the end of the first date can make you come across as pushy. So unless you like something being shoved down your throat, avoid doing the same to your date!

[Read: How to end a good, bad and an ugly date]

A first date doesn’t always have to go wrong. Sometimes, it could lead to something beautiful and perfect. But to ensure that the date ends well, avoid these 14 mistakes and you’ll eliminate almost all chances of ruining your first date halfway through it.

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Amelie Lee
Amelie Lee
Amelie Lee has an inexplicable love for all things vintage, and spends weekends combing through flea markets for that exotic find. And when her imaginary friend...
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6 thoughts on “14 Signs You’re Ruining Your First Date Unknowingly”

  1. stacy benson says:

    You guys are the best, and you’re doing a great deal of nice work.

  2. Alex says:

    Wonderful article. Thank you so much for writing, I am very guilty of many of these things because I am new to dating. Definitely bookmarking this one for safe keeping!

  3. Leon says:

    Good ideas aas usual.

  4. Camron says:

    My gosh, talk about some rigid rules. Isn’t it possible that if you like someone you’re nervous and you might say or do something that isn’t perfect????

    Maybe if they like you they can THROW YOU A FREAKIN BONE and try to get to know you better anyway….

    It is SOOO hard to find love in this world. People are so unforgiving.

  5. Cheryl says:

    Ruining what can be a nerve wracking experience can be done easily on both parts of the table. I think that it is key that there is a balance of asking or inquiries without asking too many questions. Your date will feel like they are at an interview or in court. I think there should be a fair exchange of questions. Another thing is being too open where the date knows everything about you along with size shoe and what you ate for lunch. I think leaving much for another discussion or date is very important. Also dressing appropriately with some flirtation and fun in your style is great to start off as I believe it says you are willing to and open to enjoying things. I never want to be the reason my date is ruined because of something I do or say.

  6. Thelma says:

    Doing anything overly can signal death to the first and denial to the prospect of a second date. I call it self sabotage, where I will do things to irritate, confuse, or scare off the possible Mr. Right. The nervous me can make conversation or lack of a mess. I have done that before where I know my date was having to pull teeth to get me to say more than “wow”, or ” I see”. That made him think that something was wrong or that I was not impressed. This could be the furthest thing from the truth. Also being who I am is difficult by nature and learning to relax. I am a watcher or I like to observe and test the waters before I jump in and that can be something that I need to truly work on correcting.

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