Now you may be eager to please your new date and may have a series of conversations in mind to last through dinner, but did you know that the first ten minutes of a date can almost always predict the outcome of the date?
And even if you make a perfect first impression with your stance and your posture as you wave hello, you can still go terribly wrong within those first ten minutes.
In your eagerness to please a date, there may be a few things you indulge in that could actually turn out to be the big nail in your date coffin.
We know you mean well, but at times, even your best intentions could be misinterpreted by your date, especially when you’re trying to enthusiastically prove some positive quality about yourself.
Are most of your first dates turning out to be your last date too? You may be saying something or doing something that could actually end up being a turn off to your date. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs for girls]
On your next first date with a special someone, keep these 14 tips in mind. It could definitely help you get to that all important second date.
#1 Be who you are. Don’t be someone you’re actually not just to impress the cutie sharing the table with you. On a first date, stick to being the best person you can be without changing who you really are. Learn to improve your dating skills for the better by becoming a better person over the long term. If you try to fake a *better personality*, it’ll always show and reveal the fake you actually are before the end of the night. [Read: How to be a good date all the time]
#2 Don’t be an open book. One of the best kept secrets of a perfect first date is the aura of mystery that surrounds both of you. If you like your date the first time you meet them, you would be excited to meet them again to learn more about them. The same rule works for your date too. Learn to reveal a few details on the first date so you still have many exciting things to share on the next date.
#3 Getting too friendly. Yes, you’re on an exclusive date with a special someone. Good for you. But remember, this is still your first date. Don’t behave like you know this person since forever by getting too friendly or comfortable around them within the first half an hour.
Tread cautiously and slowly, and constantly read your date’s reaction to see if they’re enjoying spending time with you before you try putting an arm around them!
#4 It’s your world. Don’t revolve the date around yourself. And unknown to many daters, this is where they fail miserably. With the intention of trying to portray yourself favorably, you may end up making the date a one person show without even realizing it.
#5 Too many questions. A first date involves many questions, true, but all those questions should be a part of a conversation. They should never sound like a questionnaire. Each time you ask a question, try to keep it open ended so your date can share their views with you or you can share your own views about it in your response. Just in case you’re wondering, an open ended question is one which can’t really be answered with a simple yes or a no.
#6 The nervous you. A first date carries a lot of pressure with it, but don’t let it get to you. As long as you have a fun conversation and be who you really are, there’s no reason why your date shouldn’t like you.
And even if the date doesn’t go your way, it’s no big deal. You’ll always have another first date with some other special person. Just don’t let the pressure of experiencing a perfect first date get to you or you’ll just end up turning your date off.
#7 Dressing to impress. Some people believe it’s best to dress in something simple, while others believe in dressing over the top. If you dress simple and your date dresses up smartly to impress you, you may end up putting them off because it’ll seem like you haven’t made the effort. And if you dress over-the-top, you may just embarrass your date.
So what’s best? Dress appropriately depending on the venue of the date, but don’t ever keep it too casual and simple. Make it obvious that you’ve put in an effort to appear presentable, and your date will appreciate you better. [Read: What to wear on a first date]
#8 High expectations. Always try to go to a date with no expectations. If you have high expectations, even a perfect date may fall short because of the high standards you’re setting them.
#9 Sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry between two people comes naturally. You can build it, but you can’t force your date into feeling it. If you find your date mate sexually exciting, don’t overdo it and try to forcefully build the sexual chemistry by touching your date unnecessarily or by trying to grab their hands. When it happens, it’ll happen. [Read: 10 tips to build the sexual tension on a date]
#10 Overly accommodating. Being cooperative and understanding is one thing, but being overly accommodating is a completely different thing. Don’t put up with your date mate’s whims and fancies if it makes you feel uncomfortable. If you come across as a spineless pushover, your date may take you for granted or worse, get bored of your lapdog attitude.
#11 The bossy dater. This is the other extreme of the accommodating trait. Don’t constantly pick an argument with your date’s point of view just to show off your confidence or to keep the conversation going when you’re afraid of having nothing to say. Try to change the subject of your conversation every five minutes unless your date is really excited to talk about it.
#12 You’re over your ex. Just because you’re on a date with someone new doesn’t mean you have to prove to them that you’re completely over you ex. Many daters make the mistake of trying to convince their date that they’re completely over their ex by bitching about how bad their ex or the old relationship was. You really don’t have to whine about your ex just to prove you’re over them. The fact that you’re on a date pretty much means that! [Read: Signs he’s secretly dating someone else already]
#13 Over-complimenting your date. A few genuine compliments can do wonders for a first date. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and your date does too. But when you go overboard with your compliments *especially when it’s obviously superficial*, you’d end up leaving your date feeling awkward and embarrassed.
Or on the other hand, you may also make your date subconsciously feel like they deserve someone better than you!
#14 Planning your second date. Don’t talk about your second date in the middle of your first date. For most daters who ruin their date, second date plans slip right into the conversation in a first date, especially when they’re smitten by their date mate. And that’s an absolute no-no. [Read: 20 signs of attraction on a first date]
Unless your date tells you they’re having a great time or if both of you are already indulging in a bit of soft petting or enjoying a discreet footsie under the table halfway through the date, don’t assume your date likes you back already. Making plans for the second date even before the end of the first date can make you come across as pushy. So unless you like something being shoved down your throat, avoid doing the same to your date!
A first date doesn’t always have to go wrong. Sometimes, it could lead to something beautiful and perfect. But to ensure that the date ends well, avoid these 14 mistakes and you’ll eliminate almost all chances of ruining your first date halfway through it.
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Amelie Lee has an inexplicable love for all things vintage, and spends weekends combing through flea markets for that exotic find. And when her imaginary friend...