11 Must-Know Tips to Start an Online Conversation with a Girl

how to start an online conversation with a girl

Wondering how to start an online conversation with a girl and get her interested in you? All it takes are these 11 effortlessly easy moves to impress her.

However, that’s the best case scenario. Finding someone interesting online is a challenge in itself, but there are far more difficult things for you to get through. Problem number one? How to start an online conversation with a girl.

Follow these 11 tips to start an online conversation with a girl

While online conversations might be easier than actual, face-to-face conversations, screwing it up is also relatively easy. There are many ways where you can go wrong, which lead you to seen-zoned and ignored. But what causes this? Is it your profile? Or how you started the conversation? Maybe a little bit of both?

#1 Understand how online conversations work. Think of this as the cardinal rule of online dating. Let’s admit it, the reason why some people fail in online conversations is because they have a very poor understanding why they’re there in the first place. [Read: Why do all the nice guys suck at online dating]

– You’re using online dating to hook up with someone based on the assumption you want that person to like you and possibly go out with you.

– In order for that other person to like you, you need to be likeable. You need to make a good impression.

– Any action leading to an unfavorable impression should be avoided.

#2 Do some research. As the saying goes, don’t judge a book by its cover. As for online conversations, it means don’t judge a person by their profile photo. There is a wealth of information gathered by doing a little bit of mild stalking.

If you pay attention to what a girl puts in her profile, you gather ideas for what she does, her interests, and what kind of guy she likes. With this intel in your hands, you increase your chances of hooking up by anticipating how she will respond to you and gives you an idea of how to talk to her. [Read: 30 really effective tips to help you win at online dating]

#3 Put up an appealing profile. Simply put, whatever you put in your profile information lends a hand to dating success or failure. If you’re checking a person’s profile, chances are others are checking yours out too. Basically, take advantage of presenting an ideal image of yourself. But take care not to overdo it. You don’t want to appear as a fraud. Make it idealistic, but realistic.

In setting up your profile, choose a flattering photo. It doesn’t need to look like it came out of a Vogue photo shoot but what’s important is that it represents your personality as much as your physical appearance. Only add genuine information about yourself depending on how much you want to reveal, and always leave a little room for mystery. [Read: The 30 best and worst words to describe yourself online]

#4 Be polite and gentlemanly, aka don’t be a d*ck. It may sound preachy, but it is an important aspect of online conversations most people forget. Being shielded by partial anonymity doesn’t give you the right to be crass and uncouth especially when talking to a girl online.

If you’re only starting a conversation, keep that libidinous rage to yourself for the meantime. It is off-putting to begin spouting sexually-charged statements at the first click of the chat window. Try to be neutral and pleasant like a good boy. You have better chances getting that girl on a date if you’re truly interested in her, rather than what she’s packing. [Read: 10 things guys do online that drive women away]

#5 Make a list of questions or topics for the conversation. Assuming you managed to sustain the conversation beyond the first reply, sooner or later you face the problem of the online version of awkward silence. To avoid this, keep a list of conversation topics handy, so you won’t run out of things to talk about. It may look and feel silly to be that organized, but being prepared never hurt.

Put your questions and topics into categories like interests, career, family, friends, hang outs, music, movies, etc. However, try not to make the conversation sound like an interview. Pick and choose whichever is appropriate for the flow of the conversation. Assuming you did your “research” early on, jot those down as well. [Read: 20 questions to ask her to show your sensitive side]

#6 Pay attention to what she’s saying. Girls love it when a man listens to her, so pay attention to what she tells you. Use them later on because they will be good hints in getting to know her. Avoid the embarrassment of asking the same question twice just because you weren’t paying attention. Try not to dominate the conversation by flooding her with paragraphs of text. You may come off as narcissistic. [Read: 9 subtle differences between a cocky and an arrogant man]

#7 Start smooth, finish strong. The main problem in starting an online conversation with a girl lies in initiating them. Accomplishing this is a hit and miss scenario, so you’ll have to rely on your wit, creativity, and confidence. This is also the reason why doing a little background research on her profile information is important.

– First, get a grasp of your prospect’s personality. Look at her posts and activities. Is she outgoing? Adventurous? Amorous? Does she like books? What are her tastes in music? How about movies?

– Once you’ve done your research, find common areas of interest.

– Use the said common interest as a topic for conversation. *e.g. “hey, I saw your tattoo from your profile, it looks like the one I got last year*

#8 Keep her interested. In the words of Calvin Candie: “You had my curiosity, now you have my complete attention.” If you managed to lock her into a good conversation with you, your next goal is to isolate her attention to you to make her talk to you again.

However, pestering her with lots of instant messages make you look like a needy loser, while being aloof gives the impression you’re not interested. Try to strike a balance between the two. [Read: How to get to know a girl: 17 ways to win her heart]

#9 Show your sense of humor. There is a saying that even if you’re not rich or good-looking, a good sense of humor takes you places. That is very much true, especially in dating. Women adore a man who makes them laugh, so scrape out the comedian in you to woo them ladies. Be careful what brand of humor you use though. [Read: 12 types of humor and how girls react to them]

#10 Say nice things and compliment her. Flattery is one thing, but a sincere compliment increases your chances of winning her over. Women love to be complimented, not just for their physical appearance, but also for other finer aspects of her personality. So if she tells you about something she’s proud of, type that admiration away to make her feel special. [Read: How to text a girl and make her like you]

#11 Use good grammar. You might be good-looking, filthy rich, or funny, but oftentimes, a girl’s response comes down to one particularly important thing—grammar. Using good grammar tells her a lot of things about you. Like you are sensible enough to pay attention to language class, or you could be an erudite with a high chance of getting into the good graces of the nerdy types. So whip out your spell-checker and read through your replies before you hit send.

[Read: Sugar, sugar: how to sweet talk a girl and make her melt]

With the anonymous nature of online conversations, your best bet to impress lies on your conversation skills. Do you have any other tips to start an online conversation with a girl?

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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...
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