22 Must-Know Tips on How To Start an Online Conversation with a Girl

If you’re wondering how to start an online conversation with a girl, it’s really not as hard as it looks. It just seems intimidating, but it gets better!

how to start an online conversation with a girl

It’s really a no-brainer if you’re wondering how to start an online conversation with a girl. You might find it difficult at first, but once you get the hang of what she likes and dislikes, then it’s as easy as riding a bike. Finding someone interesting online is a challenge in itself, but there are far more difficult things for you to get through.

We live in the modern dating era where everything is now done online, including online dating. Whether it’s that girl you want to get to know or that stranger you met on social media, there’s no escaping online conversation nowadays. [Read: 30 effective tips to help you win at online dating]

In fact, it’s necessary to learn how to start an online conversation with a girl. That is, if you want to get anywhere in your dating life, then this is something you’re going to have to learn.

Why are online conversations a must?

Aside from the fact that people commonly chat with you more than text you, online conversations are also more engaging! While texting is still very much a valid form of communication, everyone uses social media more nowadays. It’s not just a source of entertainment, but also communication for almost everyone!

If there’s someone you like, you need to go through online conversations with them to develop a connection. This means you really do need to know how to start an online conversation with a girl if you want to get anywhere in your dating life! [Read: What to text a girl you like: 15 ways to make her love texting you]

We’re not talking about the typical “hello” starter *unless you want a dry conversation,* but one that will actually get her to stay interested in conversing with you.

Follow these 22 tips to start an online conversation with a girl

While online conversations might be easier than actual, face-to-face conversations, screwing it up is also relatively easy. There are many ways where you can go wrong, which lead you to seen-zoned and ignored. But what causes this? Is it your profile? Or how you started the conversation? Maybe a little bit of both?

1. Understand how online conversations work

Let’s admit it, the reason why some people fail in online conversations is because they have a very poor understanding why they’re there in the first place. So it’s either you’re using online dating to hook up or to possibly date someone.

Whichever your intentions are, you need to be perceived as likable and you need to give a good first impression *first impressions really are important in online dating.*

This also means any action leading to an unfavorable impression should be avoided. Basically, give a strong start. [Read: Why do all the nice guys suck at online dating]

2. Do some research

As the saying goes, don’t judge a book by its cover. As for online conversations, it means don’t judge a person by their profile photo. There is a wealth of information gathered by doing a little bit of mild stalking. You’ll gain an essence of who she is by mildly stalking her social media accounts.

Of course, don’t be a creepy stalker and go in depth with posts that happened years ago – that’s just weird. Instead, pay attention to her likes and dislikes, her interests, and her hobbies.

With this intel in your hands, you increase your chances of hooking up by anticipating how she will respond to you and gives you an idea of how to talk to her. [Read: 30 really effective tips to help you win at online dating]

3. Put up an appealing profile

Simply put, whatever you put in your profile information lends a hand to dating success or failure. If you’re checking a person’s profile, chances are others are checking yours out too. While this doesn’t dictate everything, it does play a part in how to start an online conversation with a girl.

Your online profile is connected with the impression you’re going to give her, so make it count! In setting up your profile, choose a flattering photo. It doesn’t need to look like it came out of a Vogue photo shoot but what’s important is that it represents your personality as much as your physical appearanc

e. Only add genuine information about yourself depending on how much you want to reveal, and always leave a little room for mystery. [Read: The 30 best and worst words to describe yourself online]

4. Be polite and gentlemanly, aka don’t be a d*ck

This should be common courtesy by now, but you need to show politeness and chivalry if you want to know how to start an online conversation with a girl. Avoid aggressive flirting and sexual innuendos right away, even if your intention is to just hook up.

No woman wants to feel objectified or used, so that can’t be your first approach. Start with the basics and most importantly, show her respect. Try to be neutral and pleasant like a good boy.

You have better chances getting that girl on a date if you’re truly interested in her, rather than what she’s packing. [Read: 10 things guys do online that drive women away]

5. Make a list of questions or topics for the conversation

Assuming you managed to sustain the conversation beyond the first reply, sooner or later you face the problem of the online version of awkward silence. To avoid this, keep a list of conversation topics handy, so you won’t run out of things to talk about.

Questions are always very engaging to use in an online conversation so feel free to use that to your advantage to avoid awkward silence. However, try not to make the conversation sound like an interview.

Pick and choose whichever is appropriate for the flow of the conversation. [Read: 20 questions to ask her to show your sensitive side]

6. Pay attention to what she’s saying

Girls love it when a man listens to her, so pay attention to what she tells you. Use them later on because they will be good hints in getting to know her. She’ll feel acknowledged and heard if she feels that you’re really paying attention to what she’s telling you.

Also, don’t dominate the conversation by flooding her with paragraphs of text. You may come off as narcissistic. [Read: 9 subtle differences between a cocky and an arrogant man]

7. Start smooth, finish strong

The main problem of how to start an online conversation with a girl lies in initiating them. Accomplishing this is a hit and miss scenario, so you’ll have to rely on your wit, creativity, and confidence. Don’t be like the typical guy who just starts a conversation with whatever; don’t be basic.

This means no asking them what’s up or how they’re doing, as those are the most boring conversation starters in the world. First, get a grasp of your prospect’s personality. Look at her posts and activities. Is she outgoing? Adventurous? Amorous? Does she like books? What are her tastes in music? How about movies?

Once you’ve done your research, find common areas of interest. Use the said common interest as a topic for conversation. *e.g. “hey, I saw your tattoo from your profile, it looks like the one I got last year* [Read: How to not be a boring texter & keep your crush interested]

8. Keep her interested

If you managed to lock her into a good conversation with you, your next goal is to isolate her attention to make her talk to you again. Keep her engaged in the conversation to keep wanting to talk to you. The last thing you want the conversation to be is a dead-end, where she’s only giving you one-word replies.

She might as well ghost you if this is the case. However, pestering her with lots of instant messages make you look like a needy loser, while being aloof gives the impression you’re not interested. Try to strike a balance between the two. [Read: How to get to know a girl: 17 ways to win her heart]

9. Show your sense of humor

Girls love a good sense of humor with the guys they talk to. So feel free to make her laugh with your joke of the day because trust us, she’ll like it. Women adore a man who makes them laugh, so scrape out the comedian in you to woo them ladies.

Be careful what brand of humor you use though; you might offend her if you use the wrong joke. [Read: 12 types of humor and how girls react to them]

10. Say nice things and compliment her

Compliments will always go a long way if you want to know how to start an online conversation with a girl. Women love to be complimented, not just for their physical appearance, but also for other finer aspects of her personality. So if she tells you about something she’s proud of, type that admiration away to make her feel special.

Of course, don’t go around flattering her as she can tell whether you’re sincere or not. Nobody wants a forced compliment, after all. [Read: How to text a girl and make her like you]

11. Use good grammar

Okay men, pay attention; this is a really big one. You’ll turn her off in any online conversation if you don’t use proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Online conversations are casual, but it’s basic texting 101 to use proper grammar. Stop texting her “wyd?” when you can always ask her the full sentence without shortcuts.

You might be good-looking, filthy rich, or funny, but oftentimes, a girl’s response comes down to one particularly important thing—grammar.[Read: Rules of texting: 15 unwritten texting rules you need to remember]

12. Converse according to her personality

Does she use a lot of “hahaha” in a sentence? Is she very chatty and extroverted when you talk to her? You’ll know how to start an online conversation with a girl – and maintain that conversation –  by matching her energy.

If she’s very vibrant in what she says and you’re very dry in responding, she won’t be motivated to reply back. She wants someone who can match her energy, not someone as dry as the dessert in replying to her. [Read: How not to be a dry texter: Signs you’re one & the best quick-fixes]

13. Avoid yes or no questions

Unless you want the conversation to end immediately, we wouldn’t suggest this in any online conversation. Yes or no questions are a conversation destined to fail because they only have two responses – yes and no.

Compared to open-ended questions where they can expound on their answers, these questions don’t give them a chance to do that. Yes or no questions will lead to a very boring and mundane conversation. [Read: 23 interesting questions to ask a girl over text & keep her hooked]

14. Send a meme or a gif

Why not use the power of technology and online conversations to your advantage? If you really want to know how to start an online conversation with a girl and grab her interest, then send her something different like a meme or gif.

These are rarely done as starters, which is exactly why it’ll grab her attention. It might make her laugh, or it might grab her curiosity for you.

15. Share details about your life

A conversation will always be a two-way street, so you need to share details with your life if you want the conversation to be as engaging for her as it is for you.

If she’s the only one doing the sharing, then she’s eventually going to feel like she’s in an interview or that she’s the only one doing the sharing. [Read: How to open up to people: Learn to be vulnerable and welcome life]

16. Find something in common

Again, research is vital if you want to know how to start an online conversation with a girl. If you’ve mildly stalked her social media profiles, then you know what her interests and hobbies are. Maybe you saw that she watched the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy, which you also happen to love.

You can use that as leverage in having an interesting conversation with her! Ask her who her favorite character is, and that should get things going.

17. Use a pick-up line

As cheesy as pick-up lines are, they can make girls laugh and catch their attention. If you really want to know how to start an online conversation with a girl, then use a pick-up line to your advantage.

Even if it’s as cheesy as “Are you an angel? Because I think I saw you in heaven.” It might make her laugh, which is exactly what you’re going for. [Read: 70 hilarious cheesy pick up lines to get a girl laughing]

18. Send something flirty

Again, keep flirty messages to a limit if you just started talking. Even if your intentions are a hookup, this is the last thing you should do. But what you can do is send something subtly flirty that passes off as both humor and flirting.

It’s definitely something she’ll pay attention to rather than the typical what’s up? conversation starters. [Read: How to flirt over text and type your way into someone’s heart]

19. Ask for recommendations

If she’s a chef at this restaurant, ask for cuisine recommendations. Is she an excellent filmmaker? Ask her for a film that exceeded her expectations in the industry.

Maybe she’s a gamer; ask which games are most anticipating and can get you lost for hours. This is one of the best ways to build a strong connection with her and never leave her bored.

20. Show your quirks

I know, I know. If it’s a girl you want to impress, showing your quirks is the last thing on your mind. However, your quirks can also be adorable in the eyes of the right person.

Don’t be so quick to judge; she might end up admiring you even more because of your cute little quirks. Don’t hide your quirks away from her if you want to know how to start an online conversation with a girl. [Read: Dating an introvert: 15 adorable quirks that set them apart]

21. Ask her permission

You can always choose to start the conversation by asking her permission before chatting with her. If you met her on a dating app, tell her you came across her profile and found the same interests, and then ask her to chat if it’s okay with her.

It might seem ordinary, but it’ll definitely grab her interest in you. She could even do a little stalking on you because of this!

22. Remember that you deserve someone excited to hear from you

You build up the courage to send the text and worry that they won’t answer. You then get excited and feel good if they do, but feel down if it doesn’t work out how you planned.

That’s okay – that’s part of life. I know this isn’t an answer you wanted to hear but hey, what matters is you tried your best. Think of it this way – the next time, you know exactly what to do in an online conversation with a girl.

[Read: How to keep a text conversation going when you have nothing to say]

So, how to start an online conversation with a girl?

It’s all about researching her likes and dislikes, and then taking it up from there. Match her energy in a conversation and avoid offending her, at all costs *unless you want to turn her off before even knowing you!*

Trust me, learning how to text your crush without being annoying is basic once you get to learn the ropes. The moment you grab her interest, then you’re good to go! 

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Paul_Mangay
Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...
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