So, you bumped into an ex, and it is always an overwhelming moment, and definitely emotional too.
You could still be in love with them or even hate their guts.
But no matter how you feel about them, running into an ex will always leave you with awkward moments, nostalgia, and hopes of second chances or hopes of strangling their throat.
The worst part about having bumped into an ex unexpectedly *unless you have no feelings for them whatsoever* is the anxiety it brings with it.
Your heart starts pounding so hard you have a hard time hearing yourself.
And all of a sudden, you feel sweaty and uncomfortable, and nothing you say ever feels like the right thing to say!
[Read: 10 big signs your past relationship is subconsciously stopping you from enjoying your present relationship]
Call it fate, coincidence, or just plain luck, but if you have an ex, chances are, you are bound to run into them someday.
It may be a few days after your break up, or at times, even several years after breaking up.
As awkward as it was when you bumped into an ex, it is still a test of your character. It always makes you philosophical. And it can help you judge your own life. Are you better off since the breakup? Do you need to get a life?
And most importantly, have you moved on to greener pastures? [Read: How to make your ex jealous and leave them begging for forgiveness]
It’s strange, but even the most composed of us tend to lose all control of the situation when we bump into an ex. And almost always, it happens because we haven’t prepared ourselves for it.
Right this second, visualize yourself as if you bumped into an ex. How would you behave? Every ex is different, but the conversation you’d have with any of them doesn’t have to be different.
As long as you remember to stay calm and avoid losing your cool, all you need are the tips mentioned below to walk away from the conversation feeling great about yourself! [Confession: How my ex’s rumors ruined my life forever!]
This is something that can help you get an advantage in the awkward moment. You don’t need to be rude or pretend like both of you don’t even exist. And there’s a good chance your ex may have seen you too.
The real awkward moment when exes run into each other is figuring out whether to talk to each other and secondly, who needs to make the first move to walk towards each other.
To avoid this series of awkward moments, be the first to wave hello. By waving a hello first, you’re making sure you make the first move. It makes you appear cool, composed, and oh-damn-awesome!
And that would make it seem like you’re not feeling awkward about the situation. And since you waved your hand already, there’s no more pressure on you to do anything beyond that. [Read: How to start a conversation with your ex and not make it weird]
All you need to do is smile, look in your ex’s direction for a second or two, and wait to see what they do to reciprocate your hello. Do they just wave back and look away? Or does your ex smile brightly and walk towards you?
By saying hello first, you’re putting all the awkwardness and pressure on your ex while appearing like you’re in control of the situation at the same time!
What’s the worst that could happen by saying hello first? Well, your ex could look towards you, stare sharply, snort, and look away. Well, that’s way better than walking up towards them and being snubbed, don’t you think? [Read: 20 sure signs your ex wants you back in their life and can’t stop thinking of you]
One of the reasons why running into exes is so awkward is because it’s so unpredictable. Both of you don’t know how the other person will behave or react, and that makes both of you overly cautious.
Here are three signs that can help you determine how you need to converse with your ex.
Does your ex look really happy to see you? Do they genuinely compliment you about something, especially your physical traits? Does your ex ask about your life?
Your ex is probably interested in knowing more about you, and may even be happy to bump into you. [Read: Does my ex miss me? 23 signs your ex is clearly not over you yet]
Does your ex seem preoccupied or are they looking around awkwardly? If they take a quick glance at their watch or phone, or speak in a faster and more businesslike tone, your ex is probably looking for an excuse to walk away.
Don’t stretch the conversation, end it quickly, and walk away. [Read: How to know if your ex is over you and wants nothing to do with you]
Sometimes, both of you may feel really awkward around each other, and there may be very few things to talk about with each other. As stomach-churning as the moment may seem, watch out for eye contact or lingering touches.
Sometimes, your ex may want to stay and talk to you, but the awkwardness may overwhelm them. If they have nothing to say, and yet, don’t seem like they want to walk away, there’s a good chance that your ex still loves you. [Read: Will my ex come back? 23 reasons and signs they regret leaving you]
If you want to walk away from a conversation with your ex and still feel like a rock star, there are just 14 key things you need to keep in mind. Use these tips and play it cool, and everything’s going to be just perfect!
Don’t stretch the conversation with your ex. Be warm and friendly, but keep the conversation short to avoid awkward moments or new complications in love. [Read: How to be friends with an ex without falling back in love]
Think about it. They are an ex for a reason. So, why would you want to draw out the conversation? They probably don’t want to stand around talking to you for a long time either. So, just be friendly, acknowledge them, and exchange pleasantries. Then be one your way.
If you haven’t actually bumped into your ex yet, but you are dreading the inevitable, then you will need to prepare yourself. Maybe you are both a part of the same friend group or you work together. You know you can’t avoid them forever, so that’s why you need to have a strategy.
Visualize yourself having a short and courteous conversation with an ex of yours. Think about what questions you will ask them, and how you will respond to theirs. What kinds of behaviors will you exhibit?
This will help you stay prepared for that chance meeting. [Read: Is my ex thinking about me? The guide to pick all the right signs]
Don’t try to read between the lines while talking to your ex. Exes can be sarcastic and rude, or at times, they may speak in riddles or hint that they’re still missing you and want you.
Trying to decipher your ex’s mind will only confuse you or trick you into assuming something that may not be the truth.
This is especially important if you weren’t the one who did the breaking up. Maybe you are still hoping that you will get back together, and this leads to you overanalyzing everything they say and do. But doing this will only make you more anxious. Just take everything at face value.
Life is too short to hold on to grudges with an ex unless they tore your heart and shoved it through a paper shredder.
But seriously, even if your ex cheated or lied to you, it does you no good to hold onto that resentment. You are only doing yourself harm if you do. [Read: How to let go of resentment – stop feeding the hate and start living]
It’s time to get over whatever it is that made you bitter in the first place. It’s not easy, but it will help when you do bump into your ex. The past is the past. Let it stay there.
Every person wants to have a better life than their ex! You want your ex to assume you’re having a great life after the breakup, don’t you? You want your ex to believe that you’ve come to terms with the breakup and are now happier than ever.
So, appear confident and lift your chest high while talking to your ex. Pretend like you’re having the time of your life even if it’s been several weeks since you even had a date. [Read: 13 physical attraction tips to look really sexy when you bump into an ex]
If your ex was a real jerk to you, you might be used to fighting with them all the time. So, if you bumped into your ex, it might be a natural instinct to do the same thing.
But don’t do it. You’d feel like an idiot later! And losing your cool will only make you seem like a psychotic bitter ex.
You don’t want to give them any reason to think, “Thank God I’m not with them anymore! They’re crazy!” That is not what you want. You want them to think you are an amazing person and that it’s their loss that they don’t have you anymore.
Don’t think when your ex asks you how you are. Just say you’re awesome and that things have been going very well for you! Smile a lot and think happy thoughts. [Read: How to get over an ex – 17 steps to heal ASAP in the healthiest ways]
You’re used to doing that on a regular basis anyway. It’s a social norm to reply with, “I’m good how are you?” when someone asks how you are doing.
It’s weird of someone actually comes out and tells you all of their problems. So don’t do that, even when you bump into your ex.
Apologies can take exes back into love land, or cause even more pain. It’s all water under the bridge, so don’t apologize unless you really feel the need to.
Apologize about the break up only if you sincerely believe you need to say you’re sorry about something you’ve done or the way you behaved, but don’t try to explain yourself or you’ll just open a can of worms. [Read: How to apologize and say sorry to a lover]
When you bump into your ex, avoid lingering. It just makes things awkward and you may even lose your composure. But if you really don’t feel like saying goodbye, your ex seems to be stuck in time, and the conversation seems really warm and friendly, stay back and chat.
So, you will need to read their body language to see if you should keep talking or not.
It might not be the best thing to do if you recently broke up. But if you haven’t been together for a long time, it might be easier to stay and talk. But generally speaking, you probably don’t want to do that.
If you walk into your ex and feel love rekindling in your heart and your loins, don’t take the plunge immediately.
Don’t ever try to rekindle romance immediately, because that may push your ex further away from you. Just talk, and tell your ex that you’d like to stay in touch. [Read: Things to know before you get back with your ex just to have sex]
If you do want to stay in touch with your ex, let your ex know that you’d like to see them again sometime.
If your ex seems interested in the idea, ask for a way to contact them and drop a line a day or two later, or give them your number so they can call you. Don’t push the idea though, just mention it in passing before walking away.
You’re not trying to catch up or reacquaint yourselves. You’re just dealing with an awkward situation with an ex!
If you go into details, then you extend the conversation. Your ex might not be interested in what’s going on in your life.
It’s normal to want closure in a breakup if you didn’t have any. But if you bumped into an ex, that is not the time to talk about it. Maybe you’re standing in the middle of the grocery store. You don’t want your ice cream to melt while you are drilling them about what went wrong.
Just accept the fact that you probably won’t get closure. It’s all done and dusted. And some things are best left unsaid. [Read: Unpopular opinion – why not to seek closure after a breakup]
After you say bye, walk away unless you’re trying to rekindle the lost romance. If you glance back and find your ex looking at you, you’d feel a pang of lost love and a flicker of renewed romance.
And if your ex isn’t standing still and staring at you when you look back towards them, you’d feel hurt because you’re the only one who looked back and they’ve moved on.
Some of us can stay friends with an ex because the breakup was mutual. And some of us are forced to stay friends because we have too many common friends or we work at the same place. But if the breakup was bad, it’s always better to avoid staying friends.
When you bump into an ex after an awkward breakup, deal with the situation quickly and confidently. And walk away! [Read: 16 circumstances when you should and shouldn’t stay friends with an ex]
If you walk into your ex and they’re in their new lover’s arms, be graceful and friendly, just like you’re meeting an old acquaintance.
Don’t reveal your nervousness, and most importantly, avoid getting overfriendly or talking about the good old days.
A minute or two into the conversation, use an excuse like “Well, you guys seem busy, let me not get in your way…” or “It was really nice seeing you. But hey, I’m late and need to be somewhere” and walk away. [Read: How to stop feeling jealous of your ex-lover]
You’re dating a hottie and your ex is single and lonely. Yeah, that feels great but don’t gloat about it. Say hello and introduce your new partner after exchanging a couple of niceties.
*Make sure you introduce your new partner to your ex or your new squeeze would be pissed off with you or assume something’s still going on!*
Smile, be warm and friendly, and walk away within a few minutes.
Your feelings play a big part in your interaction with an ex. But no matter how you feel, play it safe and hold your cards close to your chest.
Revealing just how much you love them or hate them immediately after you bumped into your ex will not help you in any way. [Read: What you need to do if you’re secretly still in love with your ex]
If you still love your ex, but your ex isn’t interested in getting back into a relationship with you, avoid pursuing your ex or begging them to take you back. It’ll only make them despise you more.
Start with a hello, and stretch the conversation for a few minutes or more. Keep your distance, speak on friendly terms, and avoid talking about the relationship. You have more chances of getting your ex interested in knowing you again by behaving like a friend than an ex!
On the other hand, if you bump into an ex you have no feelings for, be warm and friendly. And if they do talk about getting back or exchanging phone numbers again, refuse them politely and tell them that you’ve moved on and don’t want to complicate things further.
Sometimes, meeting an ex can be a romantic coincidence, especially if you still love them or have happy feelings for them. And if you’re trying to get back with an ex, you need to remember to go about it very, very slowly. [Read: The right way to date an ex again by taking things slow]
Friends can become lovers but the opposite is seldom true. So if you do bump into your ex, handle the situation tactfully. Be courteous, smile, and walk away.
Don’t try to be friends, or try to get back into each other’s lives. There’s no need for any of that unless you’re looking for more heartbreaks or complications.
Both of you broke up for a reason. Of course, the feelings may be rekindled when you bump into each other out of the blue. But that doesn’t mean that love is still lingering in the air. Sometimes, even nostalgia can feel just like love, especially when your ex runs into you at a crossroads.
[Read: The no contact rule – What it is, how to use it and why it works so well!]
If you bumped into an ex, it is a delicate and awkward business. But it’s still something you need to be prepared for. Keep these things in mind, and the next time you run into an ex, you’ll surely know the right things to say and do!
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