We’ve heard that love is sweet bliss, but it can also turn sour and leave you with a stinging scar, especially if your old lover decides to dig into a bit of ex’s revenge.
I always thought that a break up would be the hardest thing to handle in my life, but a life altering experience after dumping my boyfriend of two years made me realize there were a few things that hurt a lot more than the break-up, and they were the ugly rumors of a bitter ex.
Let’s face it, gossip is interesting. [Confessions: Worst gossip you’ve heard]
And if you could get a bit of the wrapped affair when you really weren’t supposed to know it, it’s not easy to hold it in and forget you ever heard about it.
And that’s pretty much how rumors spread, even if the nasty rumor comes from an ex.
So have you ever walked out of a messy relationship, leaving behind a bitter partner-no-more, only to get to office one morning and come across your co-workers whispering in hushes or unnecessarily grinning at you?
I have. And it really wasn’t a pretty sight. Experiencing an ex’s egoistic retaliation is one of the worst after-effects of a break up. And the damage can actually last a lot longer than the relationship itself.
I used to date this guy who was really sweet and caring. He was from my workplace and everyone knew about us, and looked up at us like we were the damn definition of the perfect relationship. Unfortunately, I felt the same too. I floated on the sweet fluffy cotton clouds of love for two whole years, before I was flung down over the jagged rocks of infidelity in the worst circumstance.
We were out partying one night, just the two of us, and I noticed this slutty bimbette staring at my man now and then. A few times, I caught my man staring at her and smiling sheepishly. I guessed he was just getting a huge ego-boost out of her stares, so I let it pass. I mean, really, it is quite flattering to know that your own man is actually being fancied by other women, and the best part of all that being, that he’s completely your man! [Poll: Long term relationships]
But apparently, I got that teeny weeny bit wrong again.
That night, I found out he wasn’t all that loyal or tied to my love. He was just another guy waiting to spray himself over any fertile ground he could find. Around an hour into the party, I took a walk to the ladies’ room. A few minutes later, as I walked back to the bar counter where he was waiting for me, I thought I saw that bimbette with big breasts and a cleavage that never ended just walk away from him.
“What’s up?” I asked him. “Nothing much…” he said, with a grin that reminded me of the time when he was promoted to his own cabin in the office. A few minutes of quiet drinking and humming later, he just looked at me and said, “Hey Bella, how about calling it a night, huh? I’m not feeling too good and this place is quite lame…”
“Are you alright, baby? You’re sweating…” I asked him back. He was sweating a lot, and I really thought he was feeling quite sick. He looked around in a strained sort of way, “I dunno, I guess I should just hit the sack… I’m feeling kinda queasy.” I held his hands and he wrapped his arm around my hip, and we walked out to the valet. A few minutes later, I was driving him back to his place. We got there quite quickly and I offered to stay back with him, but he told me not to worry.
He apologized for not being able to hang out, and said he’d make it up another day. “Don’t bother calling me, I’ll call you in the morning when I get better alright?” he said. I smiled back at him, kissed him and drove on. A few minutes down the road, I realized he didn’t have any pills to help him get better. I pulled into a 24 hour chemist and picked a few over the counter pills and a hot water bag. I could imagine how happy he would be to see me, with a bag full of medical goodies! Of course, that would only show him how much he means to me.
I got to his doorstep and found his door locked from the outside. I tried calling him on his cell phone but he wasn’t responding. I asked a friend who was near the gates of his apartment. He told me that Hugh had just left a few minutes back in his car. I was surprised! I mean, was he coming after me? Maybe he felt better and wanted to head back to the party with me? After all, it was a great party.
And that’s when I got a nagging suspicion about ‘that’ party. [Read: Cheating in a relationship]
Something was definitely fishy out there. The bimbette. Hugh. His sudden queasiness. Nothing made sense. And just then, my primal instincts kicked in, and for the first time in two whole years, I actually doubted my man. I couldn’t help wondering if he actually went back to the party to hook up with her. I called him a few more times. There was no response. I sat back in my car, and tried figuring what to do.
I mean, heading back to the club and trying to find him would definitely show that I don’t trust him, which I do! On the other hand, just letting go and heading back home would leave me with many sleepless nights. I figured I should just go to the party. Of course, if he wasn’t there, he’d never know, would he? And what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Just as long as I don’t bump into any friends at the party who’d think I’m heading back there to cheat on my boyfriend with someone else!
The ten minute drive felt a lot longer and yet shorter, and this time around, it was me who was shivering with cold sweat. I felt weird, and a crazy rush ran through my spine. One part of me was petrified, and another part was sadistically excited about catching him in the act. I pulled over at the club and stepped out of the car, and walked straight into the club. I stood at the entrance and scanned the party. He wasn’t there. I felt my rush slipping down and stupidity taking over me.
A good ten minutes of scanning, and I didn’t find him anywhere. I felt so stupid and bitchy. How could I ever have doubted my own true love? I decided to grab one drink to calm my nerves before heading back home. I walked up to the counter, ordered a cocktail, and sat down humming to one of the catchy tunes being spun on the floor.
Halfway through my drink, I was getting bored of sitting there and resorted to people watching. As I looked around, I saw a couple groping each other against a wall. They seemed oblivious to the people around and were fondling each other like there was no tomorrow. “Go get a room, people!” I yelled inside my head. I looked away embarrassed. [Quiz: Would you ever cheat on your partner?]
I didn’t want them to catch me staring and assume that I was getting my jollies by staring at them. But, as we all know it, it’s just not easy to take your eyes off a couple that want to get frisky in public. I took a few fleeting glimpses at them now and then, I couldn’t see too much in the darkness, but their vigor was mildly interesting. I finished my drink, and stood up to go home, and probably drop by his place to see if he got back. Perhaps he just needed some fresh air.
As I put on my overcoat, I saw the couple moving towards the door too. I didn’t want to look, so I just huddled within my overcoat and sped up. And just then, I heard a slutty voice behind me, “so what do you think your girlfriend’s doing now?!” God, she must be some slut, I told myself. And then I heard a voice say the words that almost killed me right there. “That dumb girl thinks I’m sick in bed!” replied another voice, filled with nasty humor. I knew that voice. I couldn’t believe it. How could Hugh do this, and how could he say such things about me…
I spun around, and looked at them. It was the bimbette, and she was coiled around Hugh! I just looked at him with cold streaming eyes. I was shattered, and I didn’t know when I started crying. I felt so cheap and used. I wanted to kill myself, and yet, I couldn’t wait for him to shake me up and tell me it was all a dream.
He just stared at me with the expression of a deer caught in the headlights. We both just stared at each other, as the bimbette’s hands slipped off Hugh’s chest and waist in slow motion. She looked shocked too, and she took a step back. Hugh didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “…Bella, it’s not what it looks like… I’m sorry… let me explain…” he mumbled fast.
What the hell was he thinking?! Did he think I could just forget everything I saw and heard just because he added the word ‘sorry’ with a bunch of gibberish? The world was spinning around me, and I opened my mouth to speak. For the first few seconds, frustration and anger gripped me and no noise came from my mouth. I couldn’t wait for lost words to come out of my mouth. And that night, I used my hands, my fingers and my nails until I found the words I wanted to use. I was angrier than I ever was in my life. I was blinded by rage.
You know how the story goes. You know what happened that night. I try my best to forget the details, so I’d feel a lot better if I didn’t elaborate on it. But we broke up that night. [Read: How to break up with your boyfriend]
Two great years of love came crashing down in one moment of lust for him. But now when I think back, I’m quite sure it wasn’t his first fling in those two years. He seemed to be a champ in looking for opportunities. Maybe I was the dumb one who was clouded by love. [Read: Is it love or lust?]
I took a break off work for a week, because I was too devastated to show my face to the outside world. I got to know later that he was back in office the very next morning. That cheating creep! I was alone for the first few days and then, a few of my old friends came over to keep me company. But nothing cheered me up, and the thought of stepping into the same office where he worked, seeing his face again ripped my insides.
A week later on the following Monday, I decided to head to work, and forget the last two years like it was a bad nightmare. I couldn’t stop thinking about it though. I felt so vulnerable and terrible because he treated me like I had no feelings.
And the worst part was that he had just called once during the whole episode. I got to my cabin and looked through the glass panes. Quite a few people in the office were chatting animatedly. My boss stepped into my cubicle and asked me how I was feeling. I told her I was alright. “Hugh told me everything. I’m sorry that happened, but temptations are hard to resist…” she said as she stared right into my eyes. I was shocked. How could this woman take his side after all that happened? “So are you planning to get back with him, or move on?” she asked. “Of course, I can’t think of getting back with him,” I shot back. She smiled at me, and stepped out.
I couldn’t understand what she was talking about. She’s a bloody woman, couldn’t she understand my feelings? But my boss’s reaction to the episode was nothing compared to how I felt when I heard about the inside dirt. A colleague of mine who knew me well, sat down with me at lunch, and told me what I wanted to know, and also about why everyone was acting so strange. Apparently, Hugh had told everyone at work that I was having an affair with another guy, and that he caught me at a party when he went there with his cousin from out of town.
That bitch of a bimbette, his cousin?! And my friend told me that everyone actually believes his side of the story because he’s been trying to act gloomy and depressed since the past week.
All I was trying to do was be strong and hide the pain inside me, while everyone around thought I was heartless. I was stunned to know how much he had tarnished my image just to look like the nice boy in front of everyone at work. I walked up to his cubicle to talk to him, and he just avoided my eyes. Even before I could say a word, he just yelled with a painful act “Stay away from me, Bella. I don’t want to see you again!” And before I could retaliate, he walked away. I screamed out so everyone could hear the truth. “You were the one who cheated on me, Hugh, and that bitch wasn’t your cousin, was she?” He didn’t respond. “Answer me, dammit!”
The son of a bitch was feigning deaf to anything I said. He just didn’t answer me, and my eyes streamed down with tears again. His denial and lies shattered me beyond control, and I slid down the chair sobbing. What had I done to deserve this!
I tried telling my colleagues and my boss the truth, but they didn’t seem too convinced. They looked at me like I was the promiscuous one and him as the sweet goody boy who wouldn’t harm a fly. A few weeks passed, and I decided to avoid talking to him or about him. But the bitching went on. It led to several conversations amongst the women and I ended up getting a lot of stares from the men. Hugh however, seemed to be having the time of his life. He was the life of the office, and was as involved in the office as I was out of it. I liked being alone in my cabin, but the crap didn’t stop there.
The rumors just grew and it got worse with each passing day. A month later, I was in for a rude shock.
Most of the males in the office seemed overly interested in staring at my breasts. It was disgusting, until a friend told me the actual reason. That lunch hour, she said “Hugh spread a rumor to everyone who had ears that one of your breasts were way smaller than the other that you stuff one boob with tissues to even them out. I’m sorry about all this, but I’m quite sure Hugh was the one who cheated on you.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Why was this creep behaving like this? And my friend had just told me that she NOW believed that I was telling the truth. Did that mean she didn’t believe me until today? What the hell?!
I was depressed, and spent most of the time crying. [Read: How to be happy in life]
Was it my fault that I caught him cheating? I was experiencing an egoistic dumped ex’s revenge. But I knew I didn’t deserve it. I was a nice girl who was in love, until he decided to stray. Am I to be blamed for it? But I was, and I didn’t know why. And it hurt me so much.
In the passing days, he spread more rumors that I was bad in bed, made funny noises while orgasming and had several sexual fetishes. I was told that I was also a bad lover, and totally promiscuous. And the worst part was that the messengers who told me about these rumors always told me the same thing, “I know Hugh’s lying, and you’ve been wronged. I’m sorry, but I guess you’d want to know what he’s telling about you…” [Confessions: Why did you break up with your ex?]
Why the hell couldn’t they shut the rumor themselves, and try convincing the others? Instead, they wanted to be a part of the gossip and then pretend like they’re goody goody themselves, in front of me. I was sick of it all.
I had become a punching bag and a pot of gossip for everyone at work, and for no fault of mine. I was even approached by several male co-workers for a fling, because they thought I had a thing for them. Two months to the day I caught Hugh with that bimbette, I submitted my resignation papers. I walked out of the office that I was a part of, for almost a decade.
Hugh was there when I walked out. He was grinning. I wanted to stab him right there. He had messed my entire existence. My life was shattered, and all that because I fell in love with him. I couldn’t even understand why he did that, he could have tried making it up with me. I may even have given him another chance to make it up. On the other hand, at least I got to know the bastard he really was. [Read: How to stay in love forever]
I’ve learnt my lessons in love the hard way. To most of us, love may be the biggest and the greatest gift we ever get out of life. And a break up may be the hardest part of our existence. But through my broken love, I found out that falling in love may indeed be the happiest part, but a break-up can at times, be just a small part of the pain that can be experienced.
If you ever have to break up, don’t just well in remorse and sorrow. Be careful about your own secrets and prepare yourself to face your worst inner enemies as they get poured out for the whole world to see. I wasn’t prepared to justify myself, and all that happened was me being labeled as a slut.
Of course, if you’re careful about going out with the right person in the first place, you wouldn’t have to worry. But I wasn’t a stupid person, and he did seem like the perfect man for two whole years, until the night when I opened his can of unfaithful worms. Call it fate, or a twist of circumstances. Maybe I was meant to face the brutal ruthlessness of my egoistic ex, or maybe I was too stupid to avoid confrontation and fight back. I had made one too many mistakes in those two months after the break up. Now I don’t feel the pain of a broken heart anymore. [Read: How to deal with hate]
I’m just really pissed off with him and the way he pushed me to a dark corner. The rumors and the way I was treated has hardened my heart. I just feel cheated and hurt. And my heart boils with a vendetta that aches for revenge.
So if you ever find yourself face to face with a cheating lover, remember my tale and however much it hurts, be willing to stand up to the truth and be prepared to battle it out in the open. Sometimes in love, the more you ignore the wound, the bigger it gets. And there’s no wound that’s more painful than the one caused by a damaging ex who spreads rumors.
[Story: He stood me up and I got back at him!]
Isabella has moved on to another job and another office. But she remembers her vendetta against an unfaithful ex’s revenge, and intends to get back at him some day.
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