Yes, music makes the world go around, and it can also make your world go around, and around, and around some more, especially in the bedroom. If you’ve ever had a session of super steamy, passionate sex with some deep, Lana-Del-Rey type of vibes, then you know what I’m talking about.
I am a huge fan and supporter of having music on in the background while getting it on. However, there are some songs that should never, ever be played while having sex. In fact, most of these songs should never be played ever. Period. [Read: The best warm up songs to make out to]
Songs you should never play while getting it on
So unless you want to make your partner bolt like a bat out of hell, these are the songs that you should never, ever play in the bedroom.
#1 Baby Got Back by Sir Mix A Lot. It should be pretty obvious why you shouldn’t play this song. This song is always guaranteed to come on at weddings, or public events, because it’s one “rap song” that all people know the words to.
Unless you want to be reminded of how your body type is not the whole 36-24-36 ideal, then don’t play this song. Oh yeah, and the fact that Nicki Minaj just recently used this in her Anaconda song makes it even more of a reason this song is anything but sexy.
#2 Don’t Stop Believing by Journey. This song is a classic, and it’s one of those songs that bars play when they’re about to close. With that said, that’s when and where it should be played, and maybe sometimes on a long road trip when you need to get pumped up. But it shouldn’t be played while having sex. The reasons should be pretty obvious. It’s not a sexual song, it’s more like a motivational talk type of song.
#3 Suspicious minds by Elvis Presley. We all love Elvis, he is the KING after all. Elvis was considered a huge sex symbol, and he was. He still is a dreamboat, just look at that face! But most of his songs were sexy when he was actually singing them.
But out of all the songs you could possibly play while getting down and dirty, don’t pick the one that’s about infidelity! If anything, your partner might just wonder if you’re subtly trying to come clean by playing a song that conveys what’s on your mind.
#4 The Brady Bunch theme song. Sometimes TV shows have great theme songs, and other times they have those that sound more like something you should be listening to with your little sister. This song would be one of them. No one wants to hear a story about a man named Brady and all his kids and how he gets with a woman who has kids and they have a big family.
This song has “family friendly fun” written all over it, so it will definitely kill the mood within the first couple of lines.
#5 Afternoon Delight by Starland Vocal Band. Yes, most people nowadays probably recognize this song from the movie Anchorman with Will Ferrell, but believe it or not, it was made a very long time ago, 1975 to be exact.
I’ll just go ahead and explain by quoting what Todd Nathanson said in 2011, “Only very rarely do you have a popular song that, in retrospect, pretty much everyone agrees was absolutely terrible… Never in the universe has there ever been a sex song this unsexy.”
#6 Marilyn Manson. Unless you are really into some weird sh*t, and the person you are having sex with is also into some weird sh*t, then you should never play any of Marilyn Manson’s songs while getting it on. Just look at the dude, he’s freaking scary.
Who would possibly want to have that image in their mind? No one, that’s who. I’m pretty sure this guy is the scariest musician out there. If you are having sex with a guy and this song comes on, run. Don’t walk, run! [Read: 15 biggest sexual turn offs for guys in bed]
#7 I’ll Be Missing You by Puff Daddy. It’s extremely sweet that P.Diddy wrote this song to honor Notorious B.I.G, and we all can appreciate just how great this song is. But this song isn’t great when having sex. No one wants to think about losing a best friend, or losing anyone close to him or her for that matter, while having sex.
Also, this song reminds me mostly of my fifth grade dance, because they played it about 100 times. So if I were to ever have this song come on during sex, I would immediately think about my elementary school gym, because that is where the dance was. Exactly, not sexy.
#8 Sesame Street theme song. This is like playing baby Mozart while getting it on, only worse! This song will kill the mood faster than the Count von Count can count to three. The infantile tune and nostalgic lyrics will only bring you both back to your childhood, which, let’s face it, was well before the time you even had any idea what the birds and the bees are all about.
#9 Like a Virgin by Madonna. As girls, we worship Madonna and we all love this song. Even if you don’t love this song, you love-hate this song, which technically means you love it. When Madonna released this song, it was a mega hit, and girls everywhere felt liberated to use the word “virgin.”
Despite this song’s success, no guy that you’re having sex with wants to be reminded of when you were a virgin being touched for the first time, especially if it’s not the guy you’re currently having sex with. If you start singing this song out loud while doing it, which you will if it’s playing because you can’t help but sing to this song, you will only remind the dude you’re hooking up with about when you were a virgin, and his mind will probably start racing a mile a minute thinking who knows what. So play it safe, and don’t play this song. [Read: 15 things women do that turn men off during sex]
#10 Any Taylor Swift song. Last but not least, you should never play any of Taylor Swift’s songs while having sex. There is nothing remotely sexy about any of her songs. They are all about breaking up, getting over breaking up, liking guys who are taken, and oh yeah, haters. Cute she may be, sexy her songs are not. Play her songs anytime in your car, while you’re getting ready for work or while getting ready for a night out, but do not play them when you bring your man over and you want to have a romantic, frisky, sex-filled evening. Trust me.
[Read: The best songs to make love to]
If I were to list every song ever made that you shouldn’t have sex to, then you would be reading an article that never ends. There are far too many great songs out there to have sex to, which is why it’s going to be really embarrassing for you if any of the above songs come on the next time you’re hooking up.
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