Think that learning how to be good in bed is about memorizing the kama sutra? That’s not the case. With confidence anyone can shake that headboard!
All of us want to know how to be good in bed. You obviously want to make your partner clutch their hair in ecstatic orgasms and roll over in bed, gasping for air after you’re done with your deed. Of course, learning how to be good in bed is great, both for your partner and your ego!
But understanding how to be good in bed isn’t just about rehearsing sex positions or bending over backward to try new moves that you read in a book.
To have a good time in bed, you need to remember that you have a partner who needs to be satisfied, and at the same time, you need to satisfy yourself too.
Good sex isn’t just about the to and fro, it’s also about the energy, passion, the sexual aura, and the vibes that both of you create around each other. If both of you feel sexy and passionate as individuals and towards the other person, the sex is almost always going to be awesome!
[Read: How to prepare for sex – 20 things you MUST do to enjoy it way more]
Leave your inhibitions at the door
Most people fear that they’re not going to satisfy anyone in bed and, quite honestly, that can make them worse! We all want to be the person that leaves their significant other in awe after getting it on.
Being great in bed isn’t just for the benefit of your lover either. It can make you feel ridiculously powerful to be the reason they roll over, gasping for air, and don’t want to move for hours on end because they’re blissfully sore. It’s a huge confidence boost!
Being great in bed isn’t just about having the best moves or being able to last the longest. Actually, it’s about so much more than that.
It can boost your confidence and make you feel great in every aspect of your life. But, the first step to being amazing between the sheet is to leave your inhibitions at the door and have the bravery to just go for it! [Read: How to be more sexual and fall in love with the sexy side of you]
How to be good in bed every single time
The good news is that you don’t need to take up yoga and learn back-breaking sex positions. You don’t even have to moan like a pornstar. There are many subtle and regular things you can do to learn how to be good in bed. Then, you’ll no doubt find that your relationship blossoms as you can’t get enough of one another.
Never underestimate the power of sex in a relationship. It’s not just about the physical. Relationships need intimacy outside of the bedroom for sure, but what goes on inside the bedroom also helps to bond a couple together.
Here are a few things you can do in bed to make your partner climax better and make your ego feel a lot better too! [Read: How to look sexy when you’re naked – The real-life tips that actually work]
1. Make an effort to look good when you go into the bedroom
Wear your best nightwear when you get into bed. It’s easier to wear an old tee shirt and frayed pants, but that’s never going to create the same impact as sexy negligee, would it?
Dress in comfortable lingerie or boxers that enhance your sexiness and make you look good. Of course, when you look good, you feel good too and that’s a huge part of learning how to be good in bed.
Arousal starts with the eyes, so work on your magic by looking good for your partner. And always remember this, the better you look when you’re on the verge of having sex, the more the anticipation and excitement will be! [Read: Sexy bedroom – 24 sex room ideas to make any room look and feel sexy]
2. Focus on feeling sexy first
Do you like your own body enough to let your hands linger on yourself now and then?
When you like the way you look and feel sexy from within, you’d enjoy yourself a lot more when you’re having sex, and so will your partner. Lovemaking involves two people, so when you feel uncomfortable or awkward about your own body, your partner wouldn’t feel excited too.
People don’t have bad sex because they can’t get wet or get an erection. They have bad sex when the sexual vibes don’t feel right. If you feel sexy and attractive, you’d enjoy the fact that someone else can get to see the sexy you! [Read: How to be sexy, feel sexy and look sexy without even trying too hard]
3. Remember that sex is natural and made to be enjoyed
Sex is natural and not something you need to feel uncomfortable about. Most of us are constantly reminded throughout our childhood that sex is a bad thing. But now that you’re all grown up, you need to get over all the negativity you have about sex. Sex is a natural and exciting act that’s meant to be enjoyed.
Sex is something that can get better with time, just as long as you’re willing to give it enough time and attention to understand what works and what doesn’t, just like healthy eating habits or a productive daily routine.
To be good in bed, you need to learn more about sex, your body, and your lover’s body. Take time to understand what works and what doesn’t and use it to your benefit. When you’re confident about what you’re doing in bed, you’re definitely going to be great at it too. [Read: 20 mind tricks to make sex way better and enjoy it like never before]
4. Learn to be amazing at foreplay
Women love foreplay, men don’t really care much about it. But that doesn’t mean you or your partner should compromise just to satisfy each other. You should understand that sex isn’t about compromising. It’s about indulging in something that’ll excite both of you.
If you’re the woman, dress up for sex or put on some sexy lingerie. Your man will obviously take his time undressing you, especially when you look so good in what you’re wearing. And as his hands and lips trace your lingerie, he’s going to spend a while teasing your body and running his hands all over. [Read: How to dress for sex – How to look sexier for your man and arouse him]
At other times, play an adult movie that stretches for more than twenty minutes. Slip your clothes off and cuddle up while watching it in bed. Within a few minutes, before either of you realize it, you’ll be indulging in foreplay and watching a great turn on movie at the same time!
He likes it, she likes it, and everybody likes it! Who says foreplay has to be compromised to satisfy a partner. Always look for ways to create happy experiences, instead of settling for a compromise. [Read: 29 movies with a lot of sex to get you both easily in the mood]
5. Don’t be afraid to try new things
If you want to know how to be good in bed, start exploring your sexual side. Each time you feel like the sex is starting to get monotonous, try something new to spice it back up.
There are so many things that couples do to keep the excitement up on a high, and each of them is as unique as the couple themselves.
Always remember that nothing is ever wrong in bed as long as the people involved enjoy it, and it doesn’t affect anyone else negatively. And you’ll never really know how good something is unless you try it. [Read: Top 50 mildly kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime]
6. Build and embrace your confidence
Confidence is just downright sexy. If you waltz into that room acting like you know exactly what you’re doing, it will convince your partner that you do and that they’re in for a good time.
Too many people get nervous and it shows in the way they have sex. Naturally, this leads to sex that feels awkward and is not as enjoyable as it could be.
Be confident and you’ll be good in bed every time. When you start to doubt yourself, push those thoughts away. You’ve got this! [Read: How to be a seductress in bed without behaving overly sexual]
7. You don’t need to be shy
Shy is never sexy when it comes to getting naked together. When you’re shy, you don’t have confidence, you don’t try new things, and you are honestly probably just holding back.
It might be intimidating having sex with someone for the first time, but just think about the fact that they want to be there with you. That should ease some shyness and give you a little confidence to make the event incredible. [Read: Having sex with someone new for the first time? The must-follow rules]
8. Pay attention to their likes and dislikes
Not everyone likes the same things. Some people like rougher sex while others really get off with soft, sensual touches. Pay attention to whether or not they’re reacting positively to something and then do it more!
If you really want to know what they like most, ask them!
Of course, do so in a sexy way by asking what they want you to do to them. This is almost guaranteeing that you’ll be amazing because they’re straight up telling you what they like. [Read: What men like in bed – 32 things they desire and deeply lust for]
9. Don’t just be amazing at foreplay, spend plenty of time on it
We can’t stress the importance of foreplay enough. You could be a master at everything else, but if you skip foreplay it’s just cutting down on your greatness level SO much.
Only a well-oiled machine works at top efficiency, right? So you need to get the juices flowing before getting to work.
Foreplay sets up sex and gets your partner in the right mood for accepting one heck of a fantastic night. NEVER skip it and always spend plenty of time on it. [Read: 18 sex tips for men to make her crave for a lot, lot more]
10. Cater to their specific needs
No one is the same when it comes to what feels good and what doesn’t. Some people *generally women* take much longer to finish than others. If this is true for your significant other, then you need to switch things up and cater to their needs first.
If they can only finish on top, then make sure that they’re in a top position most of the time—or at least toward the end of your sexcapades. Catering to their individual needs gives you an extra leg up on making sure you’re pleasing them perfectly.
11. Switch up positions
Boring sex is not good sex. And the only way sex can possibly be boring is if you never change positions. Different positions feel different for both people. Some people like certain ones more than others, too.
This means you need to switch things up if you really want to be the best and please them better than anyone else. Changing positions makes it exciting, adds pleasure, and makes you really good in bed every time. [Read: The 30 day sex challenge – 30 sexy positions for 30 nights]
12. Change the speed too
Not only is singular-position sex boring, but one-speed sex is almost just as boring. It may feel good to go as hard and fast as you can for a while, but sometimes, it’s just too much and you really need to take it down a notch.
Plus, going slow and then speeding up again really adds to the dynamic and puts in so many more sensations that wouldn’t even be felt if everything was one speed. So change it up a few times during your dirty deed.
13. Remember to communicate
Almost everyone forgets to talk during sex. Sure, discussing the weather might not be the best idea at that time, but talking about the sex you’re having is! Ask them if they like stuff. Tell them what you want them to do to you.
This opens up a door for you to not only learn what they like best, but also get some dirty talk in there to make things even sexier! [Read: How to talk dirty to your partner and sound really sexy]
14. Read their body language
Body language gives away a truckload of information during sex. You really need to understand what means good and what means bad. Read that body language and respond accordingly and you’ll be great in bed every time.
15. Go on, take charge!
Someone who knows what they want and tells you what to do to get it is hot. Take charge in the bedroom. Tell them what you want them to do. Demand them to sit still, not touch you at all, or dare them to not make a sound for a certain amount of time.
Obviously, keep things in the realm of what the two of you are comfortable with, but definitely be demanding. It’ll make everything that much more intense and hot. [Read: 13 untold sex secrets you really have to know]
16. Make it last
Unless you only have five minutes before work and have to get a quickie in, make the sex last a reasonably long amount of time! We’re pretty sure there isn’t anyone out there who would complain about sex lasting too long. Longer pleasure = better pleasure. [Read: How long should sex really last? The real score on time]
17. Ask for feedback
After the deed is done and you’ve both had time to return to your normal breathing rate, ask them how they liked it! Don’t probe for too much information, but do ask them if they liked certain things better than others. It’ll give you material to work off of for next time!
18. Remember that practice makes perfect
The more you have sex with someone, the more you’ll get to know what they like personally, and the better you’ll be able to pleasure them. So get naked and practice!
[Read: 10 bad girl sex tricks and 6 bad boy sex tricks you need to have in your arsenal]
Understanding how to be good in bed can be simple, if you remember to create new experiences all the time and focus on your partner’s satisfaction at the same time.
