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How to Be More Sexual and Fall in Love with the Sexy Side of You

Body positivity and sexual confidence isn’t something that happens overnight. If you’re not sure how to be more sexual, you’ve come to the right place.

how to be more sexual

When you’re with a partner, whether it’s long-term or a one-night stand, there’s a lot of pressure for us to be more sexual. Now, the problem with this is that pop culture is showing sexuality and how to be more sexual all wrong.

Sure, sexuality can be about strap-ons and what not, but at the core, it’s about loving yourself—something often ignored.

So, what happens? We end up highly sexual. At the end of the day, it’s all a lie because we don’t know what sexuality is. It’s much more than just the act of sex. This is what we’re not being told. [Read: The best ways to build your confidence and realize you’re worth it!]

How to be more sexual

Okay, okay, I know this is a lot to take in. I’m not going to burden you with this. If anything, you’re probably struggling with your own sexuality, like we all are, and want to know how to be more sexual *like we all do*. But why not do it the right way?

If you’re reading this, you’re tired of questioning yourself and the people around you. You just want to learn how to be more sexual. Now’s the time for this phase of your life to happen. Because at the end of the day, you’re the only one who can change this. It’s time to have better sex, and feel sexual.

#1 Understand this is about you. This isn’t about your partner or someone you just hooked up with. This is about you. If you want to be more sexual, then you’re going to have to accept yourself and start loving yourself.

Aside from having a low sex drive, which could be the problem, many people are simply lacking the confidence in order to be sexually free. [Read: Is your sex life out of balance?]

#2 Confidence is key. If you want to be more sexual then work on your confidence. This seems to be the key to everything, because it is. Confidence is truly the key for most of your internal issues and struggles. You simply don’t respect and love yourself enough to let yourself go and be free. Go stand in front of the mirror completely naked and tell yourself you’re beautiful because you are. [Read: 10 signs of low self-esteem and 5 ways to increase it]

#3 Talk to your partner. If you’re seeing someone, sit down and have a chat with them. You’re now aware that for you to become more sexual, you need to work on your self-confidence. But this also means that you’re going to need support from your partner.

Tell your partner about how you’re feeling, the changes you want to make and what you’re going to need from them. If they’re truly someone who cares about you, they’ll help you along the way. If not, well, the first thing you need to do is ditch them.

#4 Why aren’t you sexual? There can be more than one reason as to why you’re not as sexual as you’d like. Maybe you have a low sex drive, maybe you’re depressed–these factors all play an important role when it comes to your sexuality. Educate yourself and see what you think may be the problem. A quick visit to the doctor can be a huge help for increasing your sexual intensity.

#5 Time is everything. This isn’t going to change overnight. Rather, this may end up taking weeks, even months to increase your sexual levels. You know what, that’s okay. Everyone is different, the point is, you’re working on yourself. So, don’t rush the process. Instead, take the time to understand your body and the changes it’s going through. [Read: How to feel sexy and desirable all the time]

#6 Spend more time with your partner. If you want to be more sexual, then why not spend more time with your partner? The lack of time you spend with your partner actually kills intimacy and creates detachment.

Yes, you’re busy, they’re busy but that doesn’t mean you should throw your relationship in the trunk. Spending more time with your partner will make a huge difference when it comes to you becoming more sexual. That is unless you don’t like your partner. If that’s the case, break-up with them. [Read: 15 super simple ways to keep yourself sexy at any age]

#7 Give and receive. Another reason why you may not feel as sexual is that you’re the one doing all the work and receiving nothing from them. It seems that you’re the only one who can perform oral sex, but let’s be honest, they can do it too. And they should be. If you want to be more sexual, talk to your partner and teach them about sharing in the bedroom.

#8 Talk about sex. Though as a society we talk about sex, we don’t really talk about sex. Nailing someone and spending an intimate moment with them are two different things. If you want passion and romance, then talk to your partner about sex, what it means to you, and what you like/dislike. Trust me, they have things that they’ve wanted to tell you but were too scared to.

#9 Kick stress to the curb. If you’re stressed, the toll is on your sex life. How can you fully give yourself at the moment if you’re thinking about what to cook for dinner or what you need to do for work tomorrow? It’s just not going to happen. You need to work on eliminating those thoughts until you finish sex. Sex is your time to yourself and your partner.

#10 Masturbate alone. You don’t need a partner to become more sexual. All that you need to do is become comfortable and confident in your own skin. If not, then no matter who you’re with, you’ll never be as sexual as you want to be.

When it comes to masturbation, practice makes perfect. Pick an intimate area of your home where you won’t be disturbed and pull those pants down. [Read: The sexy benefits to solo masturbation]

#11 Get sexy. That’s right, you heard me. Go out and buy something that makes you feel sexy and confident. I don’t care whether it’s a t-shirt, bra, underwear or a pair of socks. But this item must make you feel like you’re the hottest person in the room. If you don’t find yourself sexy, how can you be more sexual?

[Read: How to be sexy as ever and own your own unique type of sexual attractiveness]

Learning how to be more sexual isn’t something that happens overnight. It’ll be challenging, but with time, you’ll become more sexual and comfortable in your own skin.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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