If you’ve ever started crying during sex, you know how awkward it can be. Here’s why you’re a crier and what you can do to halt the tears.
Believe it or not, crying during sex isn’t all that unheard of. You may not like the fact that you do this, but you can’t really help it either. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing all the time.
The reason some people may prefer to avoid crying during sex has everything to do with their partner. It’s not so much that they feel uncomfortable, but rather that they feel awkward for their partner. They don’t want their lover to think they’re upset.
Why having passionate sex is never a bad thing
The truth is, if you cry during sex, you’re probably having really passionate sex. And that is never a bad thing. Humans crave passion. We need it in our lives. We might just end up feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled if we never have even a little bit of passion.
And that’s why having passionate sex is so important. Sex is a primal thing. Therefore, it’s best when we allow our bodies to relax and do their thing. This makes for passionate sex that is not only satisfying physically but mentally and emotionally as well. [Read: 16 ways to be passionate in bed and blow their mind]
Crying during sex – what it means and why you do it
I’m well aware that crying during sex isn’t something you want to do. It can be seen as the opposite of sexy and quite frankly, it can put off the entire mood. That being said, some people don’t always cry because they’re upset.
Sometimes it’s for a number of other reasons. If you cry during sex, don’t worry. You’re not alone and there are ways you can avoid it if it’s really that bothersome to you. But first, we have to understand why some people shed a tear when they’re getting frisky.
#1 It’s emotionally draining. Emotions run high during sex for everyone. The difference is that if you end up crying during sex, your mind can’t handle all of it at once. This is especially true if you have very deep feelings for the person you’re having sex with.
#2 It feels incredible. Let’s just be real, sex feels great. And that feeling can sometimes be so amazing that it actually makes you cry. However, these aren’t sad tears. They’re more like tears of joy.
If you cry because of this, you shouldn’t worry about it. Really, your partner is going to be more than happy to know that they make you feel so good you can’t help but cry.
#3 It’s hurting you. Pain obviously causes tears in some cases. If you’re having sex and it hurts a great deal, you may start crying. This is definitely something to look out for and obviously stop if it happens.
You should never feel like you have to continue having sex if it’s hurting you. Talk to your partner and figure out the issue. You may even have to go see a specialist if you don’t know why you’re in so much pain while having sex. [Read: 15 signs something’s not right when sex hurts]
#4 It’s bringing up bad memories. Sex can be a trigger for some people. Even if you feel completely fine beforehand, having sex can bring up bad memories that alter your mood so significantly that you actually start crying.
It can really be about anything. Perhaps you’re not over an ex you used to be intimate with. Maybe you had a bad sexual experience you didn’t realize would pop up. No matter the reason, bad memories can definitely bring up an unhappy past.
#5 Your emotions aren’t in check. If you’re not very good at controlling your emotions or you keep a lot of things bottled up inside, you may end up crying during sex. When the release of oxytocin hits you after an orgasm, it can unhinge those emotions.
The rush of pleasure can often be too much and since you don’t have a healthy outlet for your emotions, they’ll come out in the form of tears.
How to stop crying during sex
If you’re uncomfortable with the fact that you cry when you’re getting intimate with someone, there are ways to stop doing it. However, keep in mind that it’s natural for your body to let go and cry. Sometimes it may be better to let the tears flow.
#1 Make sure you take care of emotional issues regularly. By this, I mean that you have to have an emotional outlet. This can really be anything. So long as you have a way to keep your emotions in check in a healthy way, you should be able to stop crying when you have sex.
You could talk to a therapist, write your emotions down in a journal, and even just talk to someone. The point is that you can’t keep everything bottled up inside if you want to stop crying during sex. [Read: How to find emotional stability]
#2 Reduce your stress. Stress can play a huge role in why you end up shedding tears when you’re supposed to be moaning with pleasure. If you’re too wound up, the release you’re supposed to feel during sex could come out as tears instead of an orgasm.
That being said, you just need to keep your stress levels down. Exercising or finding another healthy form of relaxation can help you stop the flow of tears when you get busy with your lover.
#3 Take deep breaths when you feel the tears coming. If you feel like you’re about to start crying, take a few calming breaths. As long as this doesn’t completely take away from the sexual moment, it should help you hold back the tears.
#4 Think of something else. Distract yourself! If you focus on the fact that you’re crying, it could make matters worse. Therefore, you should focus your attention on something else.
Think about something that makes you happy instead. Or even focus on the sensations the person in your bed is giving you. If you keep your mind off of it, it should go away.
#5 Just accept that you cry and don’t worry about it. That’s just how some people are. If you’ve tried everything and can’t figure out why you cry during sex or how to stop it, just accept it. The right person isn’t going to care if you shed a tear in the bedroom. Hell, they might even take it as a compliment!
Crying during sex is natural for some people. It’s the way their body works and it’s how they express the pleasure they’re feeling. But if you do want to put an end to the water works, these tips can help.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...