Home My Life A Better Life 21 Big Signs of Emotional Abuse You May Be Overlooking

21 Big Signs of Emotional Abuse You May Be Overlooking

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Emotional abuse is extremely easy to overlook. Just take a look at these 21 signs of emotional abuse to see if you’re being abused instead of loved! By Natalia Avdeeva

emotional abuse

As humans, we’re not dumb.

When someone opposes or oppresses us with emotional abuse, we’re always ready to strike back.

But what do you do when you’re manipulated just a little bit every day?

What do you do if you just don’t realize you’re being tricked and duped into abuse with sweet words of love?

What if your love for this person convinces you that you need to bend over backwards just to please them, even if that translates to emotional abuse?

[Read: 16 abusive relationship signs and traits of a devious lover]

Emotional abuse is easy to overlook

Reality and our interpretation of reality are completely different and subjective.

You would believe you’re being emotionally abused only if you convince yourself of that truth.

And until you see the truth for yourself, no one else can help you realize it.

It’s like the metaphorical boiling frog syndrome.

It’s been said that if you drop a frog in boiling water, it would jump out immediately. But if you place a frog in a pot of tepid water and start to boil the water very slowly, the frog would continue to stay in the pot of water until it boils to death.

Now this may be a metaphor to prove a cautionary tale about change and our inability to see the signs. But this story plays a big part in understanding your own relationship. [Read: 15 types of really toxic relationships you could be experiencing right now!]

Has your partner’s behavior changed?

In all the years that both of you have been together, do you think your partner’s behavior has changed over time?

If the change is gradual, and you choose not to see the changes, you may never ever realize it.

And even if you’re being emotionally abused, you may never see the signs.

Abuse in any form has to start somewhere. There’s a point in the relationship where your partner does something that mentally disturbs you, and yet, you choose to overlook it because of the love you have for them. [Read: The consequences of making someone a priority when you're only an option to them]

And then, it happens again. And you still choose to overlook it. And finally, it reaches a point where you feel suffocated and weak, and don’t even know why you’re feeling so helpless.

What is emotional abuse?

Emotional abuse is any kind of psychological abuse that traumatizes a person’s mind or their state of being, forcing them to feel weak, traumatized and helpless.

You may feel moments of emotional abuse now and then in your own relationships with the people around you, be it with your parents, siblings, friends or even your romantic partner.

The easiest way to realize if you’re being abused by someone is if you feel weak and stressed around them. [Read: 10 types of toxic people who'll make you feel weak and used]

Emotional abuse can change your life forever

A person would be able to understand the damage emotional abuse can cause to them only if they experience it. It’s easy for someone to tell an emotionally abused person to walk out of the relationship. But they would never be able to understand your state of mind, how helpless you feel or the emotional mess you’re in.

If you ever experience emotional abuse, you need to realize that you can ask for all the help from others, but unless you strengthen yourself from within, no one can ever help you change your life. [Read: How to stop selfish people from hurting you]

Don’t be ashamed of the abuse or the helplessness

Emotional abuse feels shameful and humiliating. It’s not easy to talk about it with others, especially when you believe it’s your own weakness that led to the abuse. But you need to remember that it wasn’t your weakness, but your unconditional love for this person, that led to it.

Emotional abuse isn’t restricted to either sex, nor is it restricted to a particular kind of relationship. So the first thing you need to remember is to stop feeling ashamed. [Read: How your self respect affects you and all the relationships you have]

The 21 big signs of emotional abuse that you may easily overlook

Emotional abuse always starts small, and it has to start somewhere. The easiest test to realize if you’re emotionally abused is by asking yourself if your partner’s behavior hurt you mentally. If it did, you need to talk about it with them.

After all, emotional abuse isn’t always inflicted on you to suppress you. Sometimes, emotional abuse could also stem from neglect and ignorance. [Read: How to improve communication in a relationship]

Use these 21 subtle signs of emotional abuse to find out if you’ve been pushed to the wall by your spouse, your boyfriend or your girlfriend. And if you do see these signs, perhaps it’s now time to start pushing back.

#1 You’re scared. Your partner’s behavior scares you. You’re afraid to ask for things or tell them something because you just don’t know how they would react.

#2 Incessant lectures. Your partner constantly tells you how you’re so flawed and how you still need to improve in so many ways. But instead of trying to help you, they point your flaws out and behave like you’re a lost cause who can’t be helped because you’re too weak or dumb. [Read: The power of words and how it can make or break your relationship]

#3 Painful comparisons. Your partner constantly compares you, either with your more prettier or successful friends, and tells you how much better than you they are. Your partner may even be subtle and point out to celebrities and tell you how they’re so much more attractive than you.

#4 Constant confusions. Your partner yells at you often. But when you try to argue back or prove that you’re right, they may even get down on their knees or humiliate themselves just to apologize to you and win your affection back.

#5 You get blamed for no fault. Your partner blames you for no fault of yours. They blame you for your friend’s behavior, for the way the kids are, your friend’s divorce, or just about anything else. Sometimes, your partner may even hear about something on the television and yell at you because they’re pissed off!

#6 Possessive jealousy. Your partner always has something negative to say about your friends, especially if they’re of the opposite sex. Your partner hates it when you get phone calls from your friends and sometimes even asks you to hang up the phone. They just don’t like it when you have an active social life. [Read: 15 subtle and shocking signs of a controlling boyfriend]

#7 Your self esteem is crippled. Your partner constantly tells you how bad or worthless you are, and gets angry with you because you’re always relying on them. But even when you try to do something yourself, they tell you you’re not capable of making decisions and make you feel dumb all the time.

#8 Two faced personality. Your partner’s behavior and attitude confuses you. At times, they may be extremely loving and caring. And at other times, they’re really mean and hurtful. You just can’t predict how they’ll react to anything you do.

#9 The sadist inside. Your partner feels better about themselves when they point out your flaws or criticize you. They may be more jovial or happy on days when you’re overworking or stressed because of your own mistakes.

#10 The humiliation. Your partner humiliates you or makes nasty remarks, especially around your friends or people who admire you.

#11 Big demands. They set unreasonable expectations and make big demands from you, secretly hoping you’d fail so they can say ‘I told you so!’ [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]

#12 Sexual manipulation. Your partner emotionally manipulates you into sexual activities you don’t like. They may even emotionally armtwist you by saying things like “Other girls/guys do it! Why can’t you?”

#13 Big confessions. Your partner shares their problems with everyone who listens. But if you confess any of your problems, especially about the relationship, to your friends or family, your partner would get very upset with you.

#14 Turning everyone against you. This is a sneaky trick that emotionally abusive partners use to gain advantage and leave you feeling helpless. Your partner may constantly crib about how difficult or dumb you are to everyone, including your friends, your family and even your kids. Your partner may even give biased examples just to convince everyone else and turn them against you so no one would take your side against theirs.

#15 The silent treatment. If you stand up for something or try to take control of the situation, your partner may walk away in a huff and give you the silent treatment. An emotionally abusive partner works on guilt, and they hate giving power away in a relationship. Your partner may just ignore you until you apologize for opposing their decision! [Read: How to perfect the silent treatment in a relationship]

#16 Physically abusive. Sometimes, your partner may resort to physical abuse like a slap, a painful pinch or even a threatening gesture just to scare you into submission when you oppose them for anything.

#17 You’re not allowed to think. Emotionally abusive lovers take pleasure in taking full control of the relationship. They’d manipulate you one step at a time until you lose all confidence in your judgment. You convince yourself that you are not capable of taking any decisions yourself, without your partner’s guidance. [Read: 25 memorable life lessons to perfect your life]

#18 Isolation and dependence. Initially, your partner may tell you they don’t like your friends or a particular family member. Soon, they may tell you to avoid that particular person. And before you realize it, your partner may carefully isolate you from everyone who was once close to you. And one fine day, you’d see that the only person you can go to for help or depend on is your partner.

#19 Emotional memories. Your partner constantly reminds you of all the times you’ve screwed up each time there’s an argument or a discussion. They constantly bring up your failures or the mistakes you’ve made in your life to reinforce the idea that you depend on your partner and can’t survive by yourself without their help and guidance in life. [Read: A guide to fighting fair in a relationship]

#20 Your achievements don’t matter. Your partner glorifies even the smallest of their achievements and proudly brags about it. But on the other hand, no matter what you achieve or do, your partner always mocks your achievements and makes you feel silly for celebrating it.

#21 Denial. Even when you point out their emotionally abusive ways, your partner doesn’t accept their emotionally abusive ways as a flaw. Instead, they convince themselves and try to convince you that they’re doing all this only to help you become a better person and stand on your own feet. [Read: How to fall out of love when you see no future with your partner]

Recognizing the subtle signs of emotional abuse

If you’re not sure what you’re going through is abuse, just look at yourself from another person’s perspective. Or ask yourself how you would feel if your sibling or your child was living your life. Would you be happy for them? Would you genuinely believe that they’re in the happiest relationship of their life or would you want them to walk out or get the strength to confront the issue?

If you see these signs in your own love life, you need to remember that the strength to overcome the abuse lies within you. All you need to do is believe in yourself, and take a firm stand. [Read: The right way to take a break in the relationship and improve both your lives]

It may seem like the hardest thing to do right now, but you’ll feel your strength and confidence seeping right back into you the very instant you put your foot down for the first time.

If you can’t deal with it yourself, get help from a family member or an organization for abused victims. But don’t just put up with it. After all, patience or unconditional love won’t change an emotionally abusive lover. Only a firm reply will!

[Read: 16 perfect ways to handle abusive behavior in a relationship]

These 21 signs of emotional abuse will help you decipher if you’re being abused and taken for granted in your love life. And if you do see these signs, speak about it with your lover or with a friend. It’ll be your first step towards a much better future!


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Have your say!
  • Ben
    April 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    8, 9, 10, 13, 15, 17, 18, 19, 20 — are all traits I recognise in *all* of my friends relationships. The news: it’s usually the girl doing it to the guy.

  • claridad
    May 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    My situation is very similar to almost everything I just finish reading I’m confuse & don’t know exactly what to do I just decide that I’m going look for help but is not easy when theres kids involve But I’m still do it I see it as my happiness is my children happiness & right now I’m not happy Thank you so much for this tips it help me a lot Gbu always!

  • L.
    May 7, 2013 | Permalink |

    When I was 19, I started dating a man who was 10 years older. I dated him for a little over a year. He fit every single one of these signs and crippled my self esteem at the time. I broke up with him when I decided that I would not put up with any more of his emotional abuse. Love and relationships should NOT make you feel worse than you ever felt in your life. I am now 24 and still working on my self esteem that he brought down, but now I’m achieving all of my dreams that he told me I never could accomplish. I also feel beautiful now, something he never would acknowledge or let me feel. I am so much stronger now, and if I was still with him I would be in a terrible place in my life. My advice for all you women is that you’ll thank yourself if not now, later in life when you choose to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. There are so many wonderful guys in the world, don’t waste your time on an emotionally abusive, cold hearted, jealous coward.

  • anonymous
    May 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have been in a toxic relationship where my bf cut me off from all of my friends. I was only allowed to hang out with his friends. It then got to the point where I am a “bitch” his words and I embarrass him. I noticed this when I went back to college and as I go on through my semesters I feel more isolated than ever. Looking back 5 years when we started dating there were signs. Not being able to control. His temper and I looked pass it. A year into our relationship he had a dating profile on a dating site. And about a year after i found the daying site we got imto a confrontation where i walked away with a black eyeHowever since going back to school I have been feeling more empowered because it is myself who helps me to be the person I want to be. I would never say these last 5 years were a waste because without conflict you cannot grow. I just wish that when you love someone son much and when you would do anything for them that it doesn’t have to get to that point. My friend posted a funny video on fb about possessive significant others and my bf was like is that about me.,?? Why is that on your fb If I saw the subtle signs 5 years ago I could have been in a better situation today.but remember nothing is a waste every struggle can make or break you and I pray for our sakes….it makes us

  • May 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    My partner practically abused me. Cut of from everyone. I asked him from “Can I eat my dinner’ to “Can I go to the bathroom”. Got whipped when I didn’t obey. I’m the mouse, he’s the cat. He would use handcuffs on me while he toyed with my breast. I’m his play goodie. I depend on him. He controls me. P.S. He is my master.

  • Lauren
    July 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    Hi everyone, im so glad I came across this website I have a situation and I DONT know what to do about it anymore …so here’s my story

    8 months ago today I found myself in a new relationship and he was everything and MORE, I could tell he actually liked me for ME. Which completely attracted me to him even more and he would
    never let me down …so fast forward 3months later I made a
    careless decision to put myself around a Guy that I had past
    relations with to smoke some pot, & my boyfriend really hated this Guy and I understand why but he found out and although NOTHING happpened between me and the Guy. My boyfriend really felt betrayed and this resulted in a BIG fall out. I felt so bad because I was being selfish to what I wanted at the time and ever since then I made a promise to put mu selfishness aside BUT ever since then he makes it completely known that his trust for me is gone he ALWAYS reminds me of my past and I know it’s not squeaky clean but he would say hurtful things at the most random times. So fast forward again to May(5 months) …times were hard and I was happy we made it, BUT since classes were over he would suggest I come over EVERYDAY and I would because when things are good they’re great no fighting. BUT then he would start to get mad about things or situations that happen in my past WAY before we even knew each other. Our fights started turning physical & he would throw me around and yell, I would always fight back usually leaving scratches all over him but he alwayss says he trying restrain me, and he said it would never happen again when I threaten to break up with him but I always took him back because I see the good in him other than the fights he treats me like a queen but Anywayssss large amount of $$ he spends on me he NEVER lets me forget it, FAST FORWARD AGAIN TO THIS MONTH ITS July and and things were okay except he really dislike my bff because he thinks shes a slut and she could care less bout him but on the 4 th of.
    July we came together and even tho I wanted to be just him and I my bff tagged along and w/ some drinks and smoke they got along and I loved it but what I thought ended on a good note DIDN’T ..in the midst of one of our arguments my bff stuck up for me on fb through statuses but admitted she STOLE $1OO from him…now I wad placed in this awkward situation and because of it my boyfriend told me I HAVE to choose, so I when I talked yo my bff abt it she admitted and then went online bashing me for staying w? Him so I then started to feel betrayed by her because how do I knoww she wouldn’t steal from me?! So me and her friendship is on a pause I tried to talk to her but she told me im being overdramatic so my family advised me to keeep my distance and be cordial AND surprisingly my boyfriend even stopped picking at me b/c most of the time he didn’t like me to be around her because she puts herself around guyss that only want sex BUT the fighting is slowly starting all over and. Not to mention he doesn’t like my mother b/c she has a stern judgment abt him

    BUT all in all I could go OJ alll day but I read these websites and its clear that he’s controlling but everytime I try to leave he alwayss brings me right back and emotionally I feeel depressed because I do nt have many people to turn to about my problems …I really really love this Guy even though I see the problems I just want things to changee

    PLEASE HELP

  • Lands
    August 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    After reading the above it brought me to realize that I am in an abusive marriage…not physically but emotionally….I’ve been feeling really depressed and sad and have thought many times that if I could afford I’d rather be on my own…learn to want to live again…to me it doesn’t matter whether I live or die.
    I’ve been married 14 years and it hasn’t been easy…I raised my son with him since 14′mmit was very stressful as he was always picking on my son…he was very abusive to the extent where he would break windows…shout at us and his anger would terrify us….his teen daughter from a previous marriage came to live with us for a couple years…some nights he was so violent we took to the streets until he sobered up…then he stopped drinking…things got better but his anger outbursts didn’t stop….I don’t have any friends….it stopped because I always had excuses for them not to come over…I am always afraid he might have a temper flare and embarrass me…I don’t need to do anything wrong …he just gets agitated…you never dare have him wait if he wants anything…he flares if the kids are in the bathroom when he needs it….if anything breaks or goes wrong…like power outages….he is mean to me…shouts and complains….appliances that break is because we break them…not because of an expired lifetime….he gives me everything I need…materialistic…but I’m living like a hermit….I go to the supermarket and back…he’s not jealous..not overly so but has threatened that should I have an affair hel kill us both….and it’s without cause…I’m not the type….I’m not allowed to talk to anyone about domestic issues..not even my sister….hel get furious…I never did see it as abuse but from what I’ve read it sure is…so basically as long as I act along..never cross him…never have an irritated tone…nothing breaks…and make appointments to use the bathroom…it will be okay…my son is still living with us but doesn’t often sleep home…it’s only his daughter and she finishes high school next year…il be 51….haven’t worked in years he won’t allow it…..so see…I’m doomed….all alone with no way out

  • robyn
    September 2, 2013 | Permalink |

    Ok i love this man but I just wrote down what applies to me and its scary 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 12 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21.. I knew there was somthing wring with us but this really shocked me …. what do I do!

  • serena
    September 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    I know I need help. I am scared I feel so alone I used to smile and be able to laugh at my self. I have two kids and know one to turn to. I feel like a frailer in everything my life. I never thought in a million years my life would have turned out this way. that my only friends are the comment sections on line, I don’t talk to anyone anymore cause my husband will just find something about them he doesn’t like. I don’t know where to get help. how will I survive financially if he brings all the money home. everything is under his name… I feel like I am slowly withering away I am so embarrassed . anyways thanks for listening world

  • dimple
    September 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    my guy is exactly like this. he doesnt like when i go out.. and he keeps calling me up. whenever m outdoors.. i feel stuck.
    i wnna brkup with him..but dont know how to….
    because he keeps threateng me..that he would hurt himself if i leave him.

  • Taylor
    September 23, 2013 | Permalink |

    Does it have to apply to romantic relationships? Because the above outlines the relationship I had with my father and his wife, my stepmother.

  • casey
    October 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    im so alone , 6 years i gave him everything my love my time my heart my everything , every single one of these listings i can look back and think “yup he did that and that and that etc.” i know i need help but im so alone hes all i got . my real dad left me and my mother i knew i could never trust a man because of him . i dont know what to do im so confused and hurt i need help plz :,( im breaking down this depression is making me want to shove a knife through my heart and end this depression :,( i blame no one but myself :( the name calling he says to me the way he flios around my feelings or when im mad at him he flips it to where hes made at me and im on my knees begging god for forgiveness . idk what more i can take :,( HELP

  • Monique
    November 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    I am married 10 years (1 Nov) I have 4 wonderfull kids princes (9), (6), (4) and princess (3).
    I just want to tell all of you out there!!

    this is hectic shit !

    It’s time to just feel a nothing about the person who abuse you and or your kids.
    it’s time to go to the police get a protect order for you (me) and my kids , and start planning your devorce!! this abuse will never end and it will go on to my kids and they will be abusive ( not because they want to but because this is what they learn and saw how the matters must be handled) .

    He almost killed me the other night, strangled me pulled my hair, threw me on the ground !! and all my kids are screaming and crying ! seeing what’s happening! What am I doing to my kids??? it is at this point that I want to kill myself and I’m thinking that it would be the easy way out! and then my kids don’t have to see this violent behaviour!

    But hell no!! I will not leave my children alone with this monster!!!

    Rather just get him out off my (our) lives!

    I got pregnant with my oldest boy and this is where it all started, He was just a few moths old and I was sitting on the bed. I can not remember what the reason was but he just pushed me into the bed and started to hurt me!

    It continued almost every second month. He will push me into the wall and press me hard against an obsticle. He will press me so hard that Iam brused blue, green, purple, yellow!!
    somedays I could not even walk cause my mussles are so sore. and then he will only say I am so sorry , everything got out of hand, this will never happen again. please forgive me.

    and what will I do?? forgive him and just go on with our lives .. What is my reason you ask? My kids!

    With every pregnancy after my first born. he would hit me while I’m pregnant. When I was pregnant with my Second child he took a belt , I was lying in bed. He then took the belt and hit me with force over my body I just turned around on my belly so that he would not hit my belly. Why did he do this … because I didnt get out of bed to iron his pants for work.

    Is this acceptable ????

    and as I am writing this I am crying my eyes out and wondering why am I so stupid to be with this guy?

    I am not going to go on living like this!

    the sad thing is that I am unemployed ( he went to my work place and resigned for me).
    I dont have anything of my own!

    I don’t have money, I don’t have a car, I don’t know how this devorce prosedures are!

    everything is in his name. and when he is in his state he will take away the car, my debit card, my phone, and the keys of the gate, so that I cant go anywhere!

    Who does this man think he is to treat me in this manner?

    I am not stupid, I am a qualified Financial Manager, I am a qualified Nail technician.

    Why am I so scared to go on my own?

    Just for the sake of my kids ! My jewels !

    I have to We have think for ourselves , we have think what is best for my children,

    I will rather let my kids go through trauma once through a divorce (wich will benefit them) than to put them through trauma every second month or like now a screaming , sarcastic , fight about nothing every thursday night)

    I dont know who else has this similar problem!!!

    He will start thinking of all the stuff I have done wrong, and when we are together he will start asking me questions and he wants answers ! the only thing is that I can not give him answers because the stuff that he is thinking is not the truth, it is lies that he made for himself in his head. of this is how I feel and this is what you have done. ( and I seriously) Promise to God my Heavenly Father, that is not the truth. I dont know where he comes out with this stuff.

    I got so angry with him last because he didnt want to give me R150 to go buy a costume for my second sons school consert. I scared myself because I got so angry and was so power less that I could not breath. It felf like my throut just clamed shutt!!

    It is so hard to make this desision but I have to ! I cant go on for another 10 years! I can’t ..
    My oldest son has anger issues at school and the teacher called me in to speak to me about it. and I think it is a result of my husband actions.

    God please give me the strength to devorce my husband, keep me beside You and don’t let me go. For you are my only refuge.

    I will pray for all of the woman in the world that suffers from this. I am from South Africa, I live in a small town called White River. I read the other lady on top is from America. so all around the world.

    God is our only way to beat this and to get out of this situation. Because this is not what God had planned for us.

    And ladies who is not married! don’t fool yourself this will not change no matter what he says HE WILL NOT CHANGE !! So get out of the situation, Get a order against his so that he can stay away from you!

  • Anon
    November 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m only 14 and am currently in an emotionally abusive. My boyfriend of 9 months fits into all 21 categories. I feel trapped and I can’t get out, no matter what. I’m only 14, I’ve barely started highschool. I shouldn’t be going through ANY of this at this age.. I’m so young. I feel suffocated, nervous stressed and worried all of the time. Im too scared to leave him or go find help, because i cant help but love him unconditionally. I feel like nobody understands. People try to help and even that wont work. Im so weak. Im not me anymore.

  • moda
    November 18, 2013 | Permalink |

    Cheating. Please don’t forget – cheating can be added to the list.

  • David Millner
    November 19, 2013 | Permalink |

    Seems like you describe the uncaring, cold, clinical narcissist when many of these apply. Beware !! They take away the self esteem then dump you for another victim.

  • Heather
    December 23, 2013 | Permalink |

    My Mother in Law does most of those things to me every few weeks. We are stuck living with her. We moved in to HELP her and she is Bi polar, won’t take meds and she gets hateful and goes rants. Last time it happened was last friday. We made a list of my faults that she named as she said I never own anything. one of them was that I am an asshole. She will bring up personal painful things and say how I am a loser and a failure and I don’t deserve my husband. It goes on for hours and sometimes days and always ends with her saying- it was just a mood swing.

  • Robyn
    March 2, 2014 | Permalink |

    I thought I had found my soul mate. We were great together for 6 years and I dont think I could ever love another man like I loved him. We always had each others back, so when his drinking escalated, his personality changed, and no matter how hard I tried, the alcohol took him away from me. I forgave him so many times when he hurt me because I knew that his behavior was from this addiction. But I always believed we would overcome any demon that we encountered. He cheated on me, lied to me, verbally and emotionally beat me down, and then he walked out on me. My entire future was now nothing but a wasted 9 years of devotion. I was a broken person, empty and alone. I prayed for him to get the help he needed and when he did, he returned to the woman who wrecked my life. I will never trust anyone again. Love isn’t supposed to hurt and thats exactly all I ended up with.

  • Cyndi
    March 30, 2014 | Permalink |

    I just wanna cry. I don’t know if I’m emotionally abused or not but I have no self-esteem. My husband makes me feel bad about myself. I feel nervous around him. But anxious and miss him when not around him. Fear losing him. The insults in front of other people. Saying things that seem like yelling but without raising his voice when I did nothing wrong that humiliate me in front of others. He’s called me fat disgusting crazy ……. let my son do it, even encouraged it. I live a life of a physically emotionally sick person who has attempted suicide. He’s filed for divorce so feeling the being pushed away thing is to be expected but the thing is, most of the relationship pains I feel are not much different than they have been. Actually we had some up time which hasn’t happened in a long time. But he is unhappy again and I don’t know why. I always feel guilty. And maybe it is my fault. I have been sick and disabled making life miserable for anyone around for quite a few years now. Now the silent treatment. I don’t push for fear of not wanting to know what might be on his mind. Talk about fear. He is very intimidating. Never physically abusive or profane.

  • Tasha R
    April 6, 2014 | Permalink |

    Im in the all of the above category. He doesn’t have a job takes all of my money. Takes my car likes its his stay out all times of night. Picks me up from work late and my own. Car.

  • dad j
    May 9, 2014 | Permalink |

    My daughter is in an abusive relationship that breaks my heart. Her husband won’t let her have friends or spend time with her faimlie. He goes through her phone so we can’t contact her. We have been able to get her to leave him severl times she even started divorce procedings but she is with him tonight. I don’t want to give up on her but everything I do or say dosent change athing l let it beat me up for a week witch was not fair to the rest of my family. I guess all we can do is except the things we can’t change and hope some day they see the light. I hope this helpes others to get on with life. I sure miss my grandson.

  • DMD
    July 1, 2014 | Permalink |

    Don’t ever give up hope. It hurts like hell to leave an emotionally abusive relationship because you are so attached to this person who is literally killing you from the inside out. It’s not love you are feeling towards him….no….not at all! It may have been in the beginning when he was sweet and charming, but not now. It’s the result of his control! We’ve been hooked through the heart by these devils and that’s all they care about…..the fact that we’re hooked and won’t leave no matter how bad they make us feel. We are not puppets to be manipulated and abused!! We are loving, caring, selfless people who gave too much and expected too little in return. One life. Don’t waste another moment of your precious time and energy feeding someone else’s warped ego and abusive nature. Love yourself enough to go it alone by any means you can. You CAN do it!!

    Show your abuser what you are really made of and start a new life for yourself and your children. You are worth it and the well-being of yourself and your children is more than worth it. It’s not easy, but it’s the one thing that you can do to begin living again.

    I’ve just started over and I’m not looking back! It hurts and doubt trickles in, but I’m going to keep going with the belief that I can be happy and live my own life without his influence. It’s a moment-by-moment emotional struggle, but I’m not going to give up on me and I pray that you won’t give up on you either.

    (((((hugs))))

    “Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~ author unknown

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