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Emotional Affairs – How does it Start?

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Do all affairs have to revolve around making out? Sometimes, it doesn’t take intimacy to start an affair. All it takes are emotions. And that’s when we have an Emotional Affair.

When Harry met Sally and got Laid Emotionally

When Harry met Sally, he told her men and women can’t be friends. Physical attraction always gets in the way, so the friendship is doomed anyway.

“What if they don’t want to make out with you?” Sally demanded, when he admitted men pretty much want to sleep with every woman they meet.

“Doesn’t matter,” he shrugged. “The physical attraction thing is already out there.”

We’ve all seen the movie. We know that in the end, Harry and Sally couldn’t just be friends. But his philosophy isn’t always true. After all, there are a lot of men and women who are very close to a member of the opposite group. And there’s absolutely nothing going on between any of them.

Remember the last time you had a long leisurely lunch with a person of the opposite group? It was perfectly innocent. All you did was have a nice long chat and had a good time. Though, of course, you haven’t quite got around to telling your spouse. But obviously, you have nothing to hide, do you?

Naturally, you flirt a bit, tease each other and share the odd friendly hug and pat on the back. But it doesn’t mean anything. It just brightens your day. And here’s the crucial, get-off-the-hook bit. The both of you haven’t even kissed, much less slept together. So what harm can it possibly do?

But it can. Actually, it can do quite a lot of harm. This is just another thing that is known as an emotional affair. Having an emotional affair is the new infidelity. It seems sharing secrets, dreams and fears with another person can be just as dangerous to your marriage as the old-fashioned exchange of bodily fluids.

Women shouldn’t be surprised by the news. Men and women have markedly differing attitudes towards relationships. Despite the rise of casual lovemaking and ladies who are as generous with their bedroom favors as the boys, women tend to equate physical intimacy with love. A woman who bares her soul to a man feels intensely attached to him, even if she doesn’t actually sleep with him. Men are able to distinguish between the two more easily. Women give physical intimacy to get love while men give love to get physical intimacy.

A man will see absolutely nothing wrong in developing a relationship with a woman, as long as it doesn’t become physical. By and large, it takes the cement of physical attraction to bind a man to a woman. Without it, for a man, the relationship, however intense it seems, remains casual. As Harry observed in the movie, “No man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive. He always wants to make out with her.”

Harry could have got it a wee bit wrong there, but that’s something we can’t be entirely sure of, anyways. These days the number of men and women having extramarital affairs is on the rise, whether physical or emotional and with it, the heartache that all too often follows. And it’s easy to understand why. As women have flooded the workplace, the opportunity for friendships, platonic and otherwise, has increased.

So if you’re indulging in an affair, whether the physical kind or an emotional affair, do remember that this is one of the little things in love that can throw a big boulder between you and your spouse. Especially if it’s a secret!


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