Guys can be hard work. One minute they’re hot, one minute they’re cold, one minute they’re all into you, the next you’re wondering if you’ve suddenly turned invisible. Should you stop texting him to get his attention? Should you text him more often so he doesn’t forget you? What’s a girl supposed to do? You can stop pulling your hair out and trying to figure him out. Just stop.
Put simply, trying to hold his attention and not be overwhelmed with the effort can become far too much like hard work. Relationships and flirting is supposed to be fun, not a full time job!
If you’re giving too much attention to a guy, the basic rule is that he will become lazy and won’t try anymore. The problem is, as right or wrong as it is, this all dates back to the times of cavemen. Those Flintstone-types were hunter gatherers, and that included women. They enjoyed the hunt, pardon the pun, and once it was over, it simply wasn’t fun anymore.
[Read: Why men love the chase so much and how to use it in your favor]
Can you see how it all works?
Now, I’m not saying by any means that this is the case for every single man out there; not every man you meet is going to stop texting you because you’re a little keen on the messaging side of things. But most will slow down. If you want to hold his attention and have him eating out of the palm of your hand, you need to stop texting him to get his attention.
Pace your texts and step away from the phone!
Basically, if you are constantly sending texts to your guy, he doesn’t have time to miss you! Make him work for your attention, not the other way around. The way you do this is by making him wonder what you’re up to for a change. If you constantly send him messages because you want to keep his mind on you, you’re going to stress him out.
The thing is, women see this differently, and I know I do. I have been guilty of sending too many texts in the past and then I wondered why he started going cold on me. I found that I had to stop texting him to get his attention, and make him think ‘hmm, I wonder where she is and what’s she’s doing’. It works, believe me. As a woman, I wanted him to blow up my phone constantly, but it turns out that men think differently. [Read: 15 subconscious moves to make a man chase you and fall really hard]
I’m not suggesting you should completely stop texting him. But occasional texts are the way forward here, not a radio silence. By telling you to stop texting him to get his attention, I’m talking about stopping the habit of constant texting. Sit on your hand, put your phone in a drawer, give it to your friend, but pace those texts out!
Stop texting him to get his attention, and instead live your life
You might think that he’s going to think you’ve forgotten him and move on to someone else, but that’s not the case. When you stop texting him, he isn’t going to think ‘she doesn’t want me,’ he’s going to wonder where you are. Challenging a man to think a little and wonder if he has competition is a tactic you need to employ.
I know what you’re thinking, we shouldn’t be playing such mind games, but if you want to grab his attention and keep it, it’s sometimes a case of being savvy. [Read: How to ignore a guy – Perfect the balance and leave him chasing you]
Instead of constantly wondering where he is and whether you should text back yet, get out there and live your life. Focus on something which takes your mind away from this whole text attention battle, and you’ll find that time moves much faster. As a result, when you leave your phone in your locker at the sports center and go for a swim *general example*, when you head back you’ll probably find you have a text waiting for you. That’s a great feeling.
Word also gets around. Never underestimate the power of the grapevine. If you have mutual friends, the fact you’re out and about will get back to him, one of his friends will have seen you in town, etc. Do you think that won’t get back? Of course, it will! Combined with the fact you’re not texting him as much, that information will make him wonder. As a result, you’re likely to find that your phone is the one beeping constantly, and not the other way around! [Read: How to be more attractive to men – All the things you should never do]
Should you play hard to get?
Personally I don’t think this works. There are many women who will tell you otherwise, but do you really want to go to the effort of blowing hot and cold or avoiding dates when you really want to say ‘yes’? Why do that to yourself?
There is a big difference between an effort to stop texting him to get his attention and having a game plan. Some women swear by flirting with other guys and making sure the news gets back to the guy, but come on, how would you feel if he was doing that to you? You’d be upset and you’d probably stop texting him altogether, right? That’s not the effect you’re trying to achieve!
Playing games and flirting with other people is a dangerous game. I’ve seen it backfire on several occasions, in fact it backfired for me a couple of times too. It can go either way, for sure, but you don’t know the guy well enough get to guess his reaction correctly. [Read: Playing hard to get with a guy could actually make you lose him]
He might think ‘okay, if she’s going to flirt with other guys I don’t want to be associated with it’, and he won’t text you again. On the other hand, it might bring out his competitive side and start blowing up your phone. It’s a risk, and if you want to take it, you need to know that it can go both ways.
Basically, the best way to go about this entire drama is to hold yourself back just a little. Don’t play games and don’t be someone you’re not. Be original, be genuine, but don’t let this new flirtation take over your life.
Text him, by all means, but not constantly. Don’t always be the one to text first, and when he does text you, keep your reply friendly but cool. Let him think, let him wonder, but don’t play tactical games, because these have a rather nasty effect of backfiring. [Read: 20 adorable ways to sweet talk a guy and steal his heart]
When you stop texting him to get his attention, it works. It’s that simple. We might be living in a mad texting era where we’re always available, but guys still love the chase. If you take the chase away too soon, they will get bored and move on.
But if you prolong it a little, he has chance to get to know you and fall completely head over heels with the wonderful human being you are. By that point, he won’t care who is texting who and how often, because that awkward ‘are we, aren’t we’ stage will be over and you’ll be fast-tracking towards the cute milestones part of your new relationship. [Read: 15 clear signs he wants a real relationship with you]
Nobody said it was easy!
The start of any new potential relationship is confusing, hard, and it can be enough to put you off your food. The best way to deal with all of this is to be cool. Keep everything in perspective and believe in who you are. You’re a beautiful, sassy, independent woman, and if that guy needs a shove to be reminded of this, give it him, but only once. If he fails to take the bait, move on.
Texting him less often is usually all the shoving he will need, because a guy is by nature a competitive creature. Play to that side of his character and you won’t have to worry about ‘should I text or not,’ because the conversation will be free and easy, leaving you to also live the rest of your life and enjoy it.
[Read: The secret guide to attract men in a way they just can’t resist!]
So should you stop texting him to get his attention? Start by cutting down the number of texts you send first, and see how it goes. If he doesn’t pick the cues and give you the attention you deserve, does he really deserve to be on your mind?
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