When I first started to date my partner, I hadn’t been in a relationship in years. And the prior relationship wasn’t a healthy one. I had no idea how to transition from a single life into a committed relationship. And learning how to become a better person in a relationship was on top of my mind!
I was used to being with myself and only doing things for me. So, when it came time to listen to my partner’s needs, I was like, “What? But what about me?” It took my time to understand what a healthy relationship looked like and what I needed to do as a partner.
[Read: How to change your partner without compromising or losing you]
How to become a better person in a relationship
You may have realized that you’re not your best in your relationship. This isn’t a bad thing. Just recognizing that you could be a better partner is a big deal. You’re self-aware, and that’s not easy for most of us. If you want to become a better person in a relationship, it’s doable.
All you need are these tips and the determination to work hard for yourself and your relationship. Are you ready to commit to change? If so, then read these tips and start being the best version of you. [Read: 15 must-follow rules to be a good partner in the relationship]
Relationships are made of more than just love.
#1 Show your appreciation. You may think your partner knows you appreciate them, but have you shown them lately? This is crucial. Don’t assume your partner knows how you feel about them. Instead, show them how much you love them. You don’t need to make grandiose gestures; it’s really about the small things. If their guitar has a broken string, go get it fixed. [Read: 16 ways to show your appreciation to someone you love]
#2 Ditch who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s easy to get stuck on the whole “who’s right, who’s wrong,” argument. But this only takes away from the relationship. It isn’t about who’s right and who’s wrong, it’s about feeling respected and happy in your relationship. Just because you don’t agree with your partner, doesn’t mean they’re wrong.
#3 Do one nice thing every day. When you think about it, it’s easy to go days without doing anything kind for someone else, whether they’re your partner or not. This doesn’t have to be big things. They can be small acts of kindness like giving your partner a back rub, cooking them a surprise dinner, or get them flowers. [Read: 25 sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life]
#4 Support your partner’s goals and dreams. We all have our own goals and dreams, and as their partner, you should be supportive of them. If you don’t know whether your partner has dreams or goals, it’s about time you asked them. Once you know, help them get one step closer to their goals/dreams.
#5 Talk to them without holding your phone. If your partner is talking to you about their day or something that’s bothering them, put down your phone. Give your partner your undivided attention. It’s the easiest way to make your partner feel respected and appreciated. Just doing this little thing will make a world of difference in your relationship. [Read: 13 small changes that can greatly improve your relationship]
#6 Work on you. You can do all these things to become a better person in a relationship, but you want to become a better person in your overall life. To become the best partner, focus on becoming the best version of yourself. Through this, you’ll automatically become a better partner. Never stop working on yourself. [Read: How to become a better person and evolve everyday]
#7 Be open minded. We all come with our own judgments and opinions, but be open minded when you’re in a relationship. Your partner wasn’t raised the same way as you, nor did they have the same experiences as you. We’re all who we are because of what we went through. If you don’t understand an aspect of your partner, don’t judge. Talk.
#8 Take responsibility for your actions. This is a hard one, but you should do this. It’s time to grow up! Your partner isn’t your mom or dad. If you made a mistake, own up and take responsibility for your actions. It’ll be hard at first, but you’ll notice how much better you feel taking control of your life. [Read: 20 things happy couples never do in a relationship]
#9 Respond, don’t react. If your partner did something that bothered you, it’s easy to freak out and yell at them. But if you want to know how to become a better person in a relationship, it’s time you changed the way you respond to situations. By reacting negatively, you’ll create conflict, and that’s not always necessary. Instead, express your feelings and focus on a conversation about the issue instead.
#10 Focus on your partner’s passions. If your partner likes wrestling or painting, be supportive. You don’t need to have the same level of excitement for their passion, but you should appreciate their interests. Find some part of the passion that interests you and talk about it with them. It’ll help you understand who they are, and they’ll feel you have their back. [Read: How to know if your partner is truly supportive of your goals]
#11 Patience is key. Change takes time. If your partner is working on themselves, be patient. If you work on yourself, practice patience as well. Be kind to yourself and your partner. Change is hard, and it isn’t going to happen overnight.
#12 Accept your partner. They are who they are. You cannot fix or change them. If they want to improve themselves, they must recognize and change on their own. You can’t do anything. Therefore, all you can do is accept them for who they are. They will have different opinions and thoughts than you… and that’s okay! [Read: How to make your partner better: Is it something that should be done?]
#13 Listen, listen, listen. Want to become a better person in your relationship? Then learn how to listen. But really listen. We all hear other people talking, but most of us don’t listen to what they’re saying. Instead, we prepare what we want to say next. Actively listen, and when they’re done, think of what to say and respond.
[Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]
Relationships take a lot of work. But if you’re willing to put in the effort and learn how to become a better person in a relationship, it’s completely possible.
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