No one said relationships were easy. And now that you have a new boyfriend, you don’t want to mess it up. But who said you were going to?
So, you have a new boyfriend, which is always exciting. You’re getting to know each other and everything is all giggly and new. And if you really like him, you probably want him to stick around.
I’m not suggesting that you become some saint and only talk when spoken to. Though, there are some things you can do if you want to keep the mystery going for a little while longer. Plus, you want to enjoy yourself, right? So, here’s what you should do… and shouldn’t do with new love. [Read: How to know you love someone early in your romance]
How to handle a new boyfriend
We always tend to treat a new relationship like it’s a glass egg—fragile and precious. But listen, a relationship and the fact that you’re in one isn’t something precious that you need to handle carefully. So many of us are scared to speak our minds in front of someone we started dating because we don’t want to lose them. But where’s the fun in that?
Plus, if they can’t stand your opinions, that’s already a huge problem. This article isn’t about how you need to not speak and sit with your legs closed. *Though you should sit with your legs closed in general, or at least I should*.
Don’t worry, it’s not so scary.
#1 Don’t move fast. Now, this isn’t easy. Trust me, I know. Once you like someone, you just want to jump their bones. This isn’t a bad thing, but why do you need to rush?
Stick in the honeymoon phase of your relationship as much as possible. You’re going to have sex with them, but you don’t have to do it right away. Spend this time in getting to know each other, it’ll make the sex that much better. [Read: Understanding the consequences of having sex too soon]
#2 Don’t focus on labels. I know you like him, and you want him to talk about making things exclusive but why is that on your mind? Who cares for now. Right now, you should be focused on showing PDA and giggling with each other in the movie theater. You will decide what the relationship will be when you both decide. Until then, just enjoy the time with him. [Read: The signs it’s time to make your relationship official]
#3 Do communicate effectively. This is a new relationship, so you want to create the foundation for it early on in the relationship. This means, when you want to talk to him about something that’s bothering you, you make sure it’s done in person and not over the phone. Establish the way you’re going to communicate with them right away.
#4 Don’t talk about your ex. There will be a time where you’re going to bring up your past relationships, but this is a new boyfriend. Right now, you don’t need to bring up the past. The relationship is about you and him, not what happened in your past relationships. Just enjoy this time and then you can talk about your exes.
#5 Don’t forget your friends and family. Ah yes, once you get a boyfriend, everyone else seems to disappear. They’re still around, it’s just you that’s dropped off the face of the earth. But let’s not get to that point, okay? Instead, make sure you give your friends and family enough attention. I suggest that you spend only 50% of your social time with your boyfriend and the rest with friends and family.
#6 Do create boundaries. We all have boundaries, and we all have to respect other people’s boundaries. This isn’t something unusual. Whatever you’re uncomfortable with, you need to let him know right away. Just because he’s your boyfriend doesn’t mean he has unlimited space to do whatever he wants with you. [Read: Knowing your boundaries in dating]
#7 Do know what the relationship really is. Listen, if it’s a booty call, it’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with that. You need to know what this relationship actually is. If you think it’s something more when it isn’t, be honest with yourself because you’re the only one that’s going to get hurt.
#8 Do have fun. This is the time for you to explore with your new boyfriend. Go to new places, try new restaurants, see new shows, go to new cities. This is the person you’re supposed to explore with. And plus, if you can’t explore with them and have a good time, then are they really someone you want in your life?
#9 Do stay yourself. I know this sounds weird, but when we like someone we have a tendency to agree with them on things that we may not actually agree with. Why is this? Because we don’t want them to think less of us. So, we side with them even though we disagree. But that’s not what makes a relationship. You’re going to have differing opinions and that’s okay.
#10 Don’t rush to meet the parents. Meeting the parents is always a nerve-wracking experience no matter who you are. Of course, you want them to like you. But you don’t have to meet them on the second date. Take your time when introducing him to your family and vice versa. Take the time in getting to know each other first. [Read: 17 easy ways to be a good girlfriend to your boyfriend]
#11 Don’t always make him pay. He’s your boyfriend, not your bank machine. For many men, they feel the pressure with having to support their partner right from the first date. But this isn’t the 1950s. You can pull out your wallet and pay as well. If he always pays, he may feel that it’s something you’re expecting all the time which can make a person feel used. [Read: Dating etiquette to follow for the modern woman]
#12 Do be honest. Honesty is the best policy and if you really want the relationship to work out, you need to be honest with your new boyfriend from day one. That way, you go into the relationship feeling fresh and relaxed, rather than making sure none of your skeletons come creeping out of your closet.
This doesn’t mean you have to tell him personal things about your past, but it does mean that you shouldn’t lie or hide things that are happening in your life right now.