I know I’m there–at the point where I go through my Facebook feed, and every other photo consists of a ring finger with a big, shiny rock on it, followed by 80 congratulatory comments. And here I am, all by myself, posting nothing but funny cat videos.
I started getting annoyed by all of the engagements between my friends. That annoyance quickly turned into jealousy, as it seems like everyone is starting their lives, and I’m still trying to figure out how to balance work, my social life, and Netflix binge-watching time.
Should I really be this jealous of my friends getting engaged?
No, I shouldn’t. I soon came to the realization that just because other people are finding their perfect match, doesn’t mean that I have to sit here in a cloud of green envy and daydream about my future spouse. And neither do you. Whether you’re single or taken, there are so many reasons to be happy with where you are–and better yet, to actually be happy for your friends. It’s time to bring out the sunshine and blow away the cloud that’s dragging you down.
1. You have way more freedom than they do
This one may seem really obvious, but hear me out. I don’t mean that if you’re engaged, you can’t do anything that you want to– ever–but if you’re not engaged, you have more freedom to do whatever, whenever you want, without having to consult someone about the matter beforehand.
If you get invited on a last-minute week-long road trip with your friends, you can do that right away without having to discuss with your significant other who’s going to do the laundry for the week. How can you be jealous of that? [Read: Why it’s so great to be single in your 20s]
2. You will have more time for yourself than they will
With more freedom comes more time for you to do whatever you want. I mean, if you want to have a Netflix marathon while eating a week’s worth of Cheetos in your underwear, who’s to stop you?
I bet your engaged friends don’t have the option of cranking up the music and dancing around their room like an idiot, or spending 8 hours propped up in bed, playing Call of Duty on the Xbox. Nope. Not when they *most likely* share the room with their spouse-to-be and have to worry about making dinner for each other.
3. It just might not be your time, anyway
Are you really even ready for something so serious? How can you be envious of people getting hitched when you aren’t keen on the actual idea of marriage, anyway? Maybe you haven’t found that special someone.
I don’t know about you, but I can barely stick to one t-shirt for a single day, much less one person for the rest of my life. At least not right now. And that is more than okay with me! [Read: 13 questions to ask yourself before getting married]
4. Wedding planning is stressful
Sure, the engagement is super fun, and people get really excited for them, but then they actually have to plan a wedding.
From the guest list, flowers, and cake, to the bridesmaids and groomsmen, they’ll have very little time between the engagement and the actual wedding to do anything remotely fun! They can kiss relaxing Saturday mornings watching cartoons in their pajamas goodbye and say hello to wedding planner meetings and cake samples.
Okay, so maybe the cake tasting wouldn’t be all that bad, but better than pajamas and cartoons? Probably not.
5. Weddings are expensive
Unless they’re living in an unrealistic romantic comedy or their parents can pay for everything, they’re going to have to dole out a lot of dough to make their wedding a reality. Just paying for the venue and reception meals is enough to make me grateful I don’t have to worry about that just yet.
That isn’t to mention the price of the engagement ring that was just purchased! No, thanks. I would prefer to spend my paychecks on overpriced sneakers, Chinese food, and wine. Wouldn’t you? [Read: 13 tips on how to be a less materialistic person]
6. Moving can be a pain
Unless they’re already living together *or even if they aren’t but are planning to buy a house together soon*, one of them will have to move into the other’s home.
This means squeezing all of their precious belongings in a moving truck, praying the movers don’t break anything, and then trying to find a place for all of their favorite knickknacks in their new digs.
Conservations like, “What do you mean I can’t have my beanie baby collection out in the living room? It deserves to be seen!” and “Only if my Star Wars action figures can stay on the entertainment center,” can be very real arguments. I think I’m okay with having the place to myself.
7. They will have to have awkward conversations about spending money
If your friends are engaged to be married, then they are probably going to have a talk about money fairly soon–if they haven’t already. Sharing bank accounts, credit cards, and even debt is something that won’t be easy for them to figure out.
I’m not at all jealous of the fact that, if I was engaged, someone would be able to see how much money I spend on Chinese food per month and verbally judge–more like scold–me for it.
8. They are happy and in love, so be happy for them!
The ultimate way to stop being jealous of your friends getting engaged is to simply be happy for them! They’re your friends, and they have found someone they want to spend their life with.
This is something you should be celebrating! Not something you should be sulking about from behind your computer while wrapped up in a nest of blankets.
[Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]
If you’re at the point in your life where it seems like everyone is getting engaged except for you, take a deep breath, and remember these 8 reasons to stop being jealous. There are far more important things to worry about than getting hitched–like the amount of hilarious cat videos you have yet to watch online!