Proposing to your partner is a big deal. Not only are you asking them to spend the rest of their lives with you *hopefully* but you also have pressure in terms of how to pop the question. The other issue? The ring. Whether we want to admit it or not, the ring matters. So, how much should you spend on an engagement ring? Or, is it pretty vulgar to even put a price tag on such an important piece of jewelry with true sentimental meaning?
It’s true that nowadays, engagement rings are a big deal. More and more, men are asking themselves how much they should spend and what type of ring they should go for.
The truth is, there’s no one size fits all design, but by understanding what your partner likes, you can make the right decision.
But, it can be really frustrating. You know you want to marry this woman but you don’t know how much you should spend to make sure she’s happy with her ring. The last thing you want is to have her disappointed with something she has to wear on her finger for a long time to come.
[Read: 15 things to know before you get engaged that can make or break it]
You might wonder why an expensive piece of jewelry is important when you’re telling someone that you love them so much that you want to spend the rest of your days with them. Well, it’s not the expense per se, but the idea that an engagement ring is a symbol of your love. It’s also a symbol of your intention to stay with this person.
For sure, the wedding ring does that and probably more importantly, but the engagement ring is still important.
By choosing a ring that she will like, you’re basically showing her that you know her taste. That’s also an important element when choosing a ring. [Read: How to get engaged – 13 things you need to go to the next level]
In all seriousness, this ring is a big deal – not because of how expensive it is, but because she’ll wear it forever. That’s the idea with marriage, anyway. It’ll be on that left finger of hers forever and for that reason, it has to be something she loves.
That kind of pressure can make a guy go a little crazy. On top of worrying about if she’ll even say yes, you also have to worry about if she’ll like the ring. Because, in today’s society, that ring is becoming more and more of a token of status. [Read: 25 signs she’s definitely wife material and way more than just dating material]
The next thing to think about, before we delve into how much should you spend on an engagement ring, is should you go shopping alone? Or, should you take one of her friends, perhaps her sister if she has one, and ask them to keep the whole thing a secret? There are upsides and downsides to both.
It depends on how much you can trust that person not to blab. Perhaps she’ll become so excited that she’s been a part of it that she can’t help but blurt it out to your partner. Then, the surprise is ruined! But, there is some use in having someone else there.
Rings are very personal things. You might think you know what your partner may want but how do you know for sure? Unless she’s dropped some very heavy hints about the type of rock she wants in the past, you’re probably clutching at straws here.
Having someone else there means you get another opinion and more chance of getting a ring that she loves, rather than one she secretly dislikes and daren’t tell you.
[Confession: He popped the question with an ugly engagement ring – What to do]
If you truly want your girl to be happy, you have to put a little bit of savings into the investment of a ring she’ll wear forever. But that’s not the only thing you should concern yourself with when it comes to making her happy.
So how much should you spend on an engagement ring, anyway? The rule of thumb that has been used for a very long time is to spend two months’ salary on it. So if you make $2,000 a month, you should get a ring that’s $4,000. [Read: 20 of the best and very unique proposal ideas to leave your lover speechless]
That might sound like a lot, and for sure, it is, but let’s be honest here – jewelry is expensive, especially the good stuff.
No. Here are a few other things you should take into consideration when choosing a ring for that special someone. Believe it or not, the price point isn’t the most important part.
You don’t have to spend a fortune on a ring if that’s not her style. Some girls prefer simple and dainty over something extravagant. Those rings will cost a lot less money. That means you won’t have to be spending 2 months’ pay on a ring.
You just want to make sure it’s something she really enjoys and will love. Don’t think that you have to go overboard just because that’s what society is telling you to. If she won’t love it, don’t buy it. [Read: Marital traditions – Their not-so-sweet origins and our modern choices]
This is something not a whole lot of guys think about when choosing a ring, but they need to. What does your girl do for a living? Is it something she can realistically do with a giant rock on her finger?
More often than not, girls like the idea of a big ring more than they’d actually like the ring itself. You have to figure out if her job and lifestyle fit having a larger, more expensive ring as opposed to something smaller and easily manageable.
This is where your grandmother’s or your mother’s ring comes into play. If it’s a meaningful ring, the price obviously doesn’t come into play. It’s more about how special it is and if it’s also something she’ll like.
If you want to use a meaningful ring but don’t think she’ll like the band material or something, you can always have the metal melted down and reshaped along with having the stone taken out and placed in a different set. It still holds meaning, but also ensure she’ll love it. [Read: How to find meaning when you feel like life is meaningless]
This is a huge mistake and it is another reason why going about choosing the ring by yourself isn’t a good idea.
If you research engagement rings, you’ll probably come face to face with a bunch of trendy rings. Trends change, but the ring she’s wearing won’t. Go for something which sums up who she is, what she likes, and something which is timeless.
We know you want to know how much should you spend on an engagement ring, but your girl knows how much you make by now.
Getting her something over the top and outlandish will only make her feel a little guilty if she knows you can’t really afford it.
Plus, you also have a wedding to pay for soon. There’s no need to put yourself in debt in order to pay for a ring. You can always gift her a new ring down the road once you’re making a bit more as an anniversary gift. [Read: 25 obvious signs you’re high on wedding fever]
Once again, this is a ring she’ll have forever. FOREVER. That means you can’t just get something that’s not a very long-lasting metal or from a jeweler who isn’t top-notch.
Quality is of the utmost importance with something she’s going to have on her hand for the rest of her life. [Read: 18 undeniable signs that you’ve found the one]
She’ll also have to wear a band with the engagement ring, so make sure it’s one that’ll go with another. Meaning, don’t get a ring that has such a big diamond and other embellishments that it’ll be clunky when you add the band.
This is something not many people think of in general so be aware of it. Oftentimes, jewelers will show you the engagement ring with a band so you can picture the whole ensemble together. [Read: 20 questions to ask each other before getting married]
Don’t just order the ring online or go into whichever jewelry store happens to be closest to the mall entrance. You should actually do your research because there are places that charge far too much for a ring.
On the flip side, there are also places that charge way too little because their ring qualities are garbage. Look at reviews and actually read through them. Determine the top two or three places and check them all out and compare. [Read: What is a promise ring and is it ever worth giving?]
Diamonds are the traditional stone in an engagement ring, but it’s not the only option you have. There are people who would rather have something else. You’d probably know someone with a ruby engagement ring who never wanted a diamond.
There are so many different yet beautiful stones and gems that can be used for engagement rings and some of them are on the cheaper side. Talk to your girl and see which she likes best. You never know. She may be the type to not want a diamond at all, and may prefer something like a sapphire, amethyst, emerald, tanzanite, or moissanite *looks just like a diamond and sparkles even more!*.
If you feel good about the ring and know it’s the type your girl will love, then that’s the ring to get.
It doesn’t matter how much you spend on it so long as you like it. What’s important is that you’re getting married. The ring is just a token of that. [Read: Is there a best age to get married? Statistics vs real life]
It’s very unlikely that you’re going to get the size right the first time. This isn’t the movies when a ring slips perfectly onto her finger and fits like a glove.
It’s likely that you’re going to need to do your best here and then once you’ve given her the ring, you’re going to have to head back to the jewelers to have it sized accurately.
This might sound a little harsh, but it’s possible that even after all of this, she doesn’t like what you have chosen. It’s happened to lots of people so try not to take it to heart.
The best way to approach this isn’t to first wonder ‘how much should you spend on an engagement ring,’ but to go in with the thought of ‘what will she like?’ But, if you don’t quite hit the nail on the head, tell her that you don’t mind if she wants to change it, but that you’d like to go together and choose a replacement.
It might be a bitter pill to swallow, but wouldn’t you rather she loved the ring rather than just ‘put up with it’? [Read: 25 sure signs she’s serious about the relationship and wants something more from you]
You might want to go all out and impress her with a hugely expensive ring, but know that she may actually be angry if you do this.
Sure, some women may be totally bowled over that you splashed the cash, but not all.
Many women would prefer you to be a little more frugal. You’re the one who knows your partner better, so if she’s someone who’s quite likely to be angry that you splashed a huge amount of money, scale back and go for something less pricey.
After all, you have a wedding to save for, right?
[Read: How to elope with your lover and have the perfect fairytale dreamlike wedding]
So how much should you spend on an engagement ring? The truth is that it doesn’t truly matter. Spend what you can, but think of what’ll really make your woman happy and what she likes best.
Want to make sure you’re proposing in the right way? Check out this guide on how to propose to your girlfriend in a way she’ll absolutely love!
Are you ready for marriage? Here are the surprising truths about the first year of marriage no one talks about.
And if you’re contemplating the pros and cons of marriage, here are the 20 very honest reasons to get married and live happily ever after.
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