Why Women Talk So Much: 21 Reasons & How to Make Her Feel Heard

Most of us know that women talk more than men. But have you ever really wondered why women talk so much? Here are the reasons and what you can do.

why women talk so much

For the most part, women are way more talkative than guys. Sure, you’ll get the occasional dude that just can’t shut up. But more often than not, it’s the women who can’t stop talking. There are a lot of reasons why women talk so much and some of them you may already know.

Women are very expressive people. There are definitely a few who are shy and quiet, but even when you get to know those women, they open up and are very talkative. You may think it’s a matter of personality when it comes to talkative women, but it’s much more than that.

Why men should listen to their women

Your girl probably talks way more than you want and even more than you can listen to. But there are a lot of reasons you should pay attention to what she says. Women may talk a lot, but men are the ones who still don’t listen.

Women say a lot when they’re talking. And that’s not just the words coming out of their mouths.

We leave little hints and clues about what we’re feeling and the things we want through what we say. So be sure to listen carefully to what we have to say – even if you think we’re being annoying by talking too much. [Read: 10 ways to be a much better listener in your relationship]

Why do women talk so much?

We’ve established the difference between men and women. Now it’s time to discuss why women talk so much in greater detail. Did you know that women actually talk up to three times as much as men? It’s true!

While many of you guys may be reading that and thinking, “well duh,” most people don’t know that for a fact. But how come women spend so much more time talking than men? We have the answers.

1. Their brains are hardwired that way

This is complete science. And what science says is that women are hardwired to be more talkative from the womb. Before we’re even out in this world, our brains are programmed to be more talkative.

When it comes to the makeup of their brains, women have something that can be referred to as an 8 lane interstate system that processes emotion, whereas men have something closer to a backcountry road. This means women are naturally more emotional and that makes them much more talkative. [Read: Why are women so emotional? The scientific reasons why]

2. They are more expressive

Women are just more expressive in general, too. While men tend to keep to themselves and have their emotions hidden inside, women let them out and aren’t afraid to show them.

This means no matter what a woman is feeling, she’s more likely to express it. And since a human’s biggest way of expressing themselves is through speech, it definitely makes sense that this is why women talk so much.

3. They are trying to get men to talk

The thing about the differences in men and women is that we don’t always understand each other. For that reason, women will talk and talk until they get a guy to say something.

We want men to open up and express themselves the way we do. And some women can’t accept that that will just never happen.

Therefore, those women will continue talking just to see if a guy will find interest in a particular topic and actually start speaking. [Read: Why men need to communicate and 22 other foolproof relationship tips]

4. We externally process information

Men process their emotions and information within their own head. That’s why us women think guys don’t have many emotions. It’s not that they don’t, it’s just that they process them internally.

Women, on the other hand, prefer to process their feelings and information outside of their minds. This leads to women talking a lot more than men do in order to make sense of certain things.

5. Because we’re trying to get men to listen

If you want your woman to stop talking so much, then you should listen to her better. Because one of the main reasons women talk so much is to get a man to listen to them!

When we feel like a guy isn’t listening to what we have to say, we’ll just keep saying it in different ways until we think he’s heard it. So if you just listen, women will shut up! [Read: New relationship advice to have a perfect start]

6. We just want to share our life with you

This is a huge reason we talk so much – especially when it’s with our significant others. We just want to share our life with you and bring you into our inner emotions.

To do this, we often have to talk a lot just to let you know what’s going on and how our life is. So, don’t get annoyed with this reason why women talk. [Read: The 25 best relationship topics to talk about if you want to be happy in love]

What to do when she just won’t just shut up

Sometimes you just really need a break. Since women do tend to talk up to three times as much as guys, you’ll need to know what to do when she gets out of hand.

1. Don’t freak out and get mad

The problem with doing this is that women aren’t really doing anything wrong. She can’t tell that you’re annoyed or nearing your limit of their babble.

You have to – shocker – communicate that. Getting mad will only make things worse and she’ll then go on to chatter about why it was inappropriate to get angry with her. [Read: 23 things girls wish guys knew about a girl’s mind]

2. Make sure she knows ahead of time that you’re not in the mood to talk

If you’ve had a rough day at work and you just want to come home and chill, send her a quick text.

All you have to say is that your day wasn’t all that great and you’d like some quiet time when you arrive. That’s all! [Read: How to be assertive and say what’s on your mind]

3. Calmly tell her you need some “you time”

If that doesn’t work, just calmly communicate that you just want some “you time” and to be left alone for a bit. Make sure she knows that it has nothing to do with her and you’re just not feeling super social.

4. Never ignore her

If you think ignoring a girl will make her shut up, you have things backward. This is the worst thing to do because she’ll just keep talking and talking until you acknowledge her.

When she figures out that she’s being ignored, it’ll only fuel the fire and make her want to talk your ear off even more. [Read: 12 reasons ignoring a girl never works and what to do instead]

5. Determine what she needs from you through the conversation

When she’s been talking for a little while, you should have a pretty good idea as to why she’s talking to you so much about something.

Determining why it is she’s being so chatty can help you know how to respond. Is she just telling a story about something that happened at work or is she seeking emotional support? Giving her what she needs will help her quiet down quicker. [Read: 30 things to talk about with your girlfriend and feel closer than ever]

What women like to talk about more than anything else

Yes, you are trying to figure out why women talk so much and how to get her to shut up. But, just in case you have a hard time doing that, here is a list of things that girls like to talk about.

So, if you see anything on this list that also interests you, try to steer the conversation in that direction so you’re not so bored. [Read: How to romance a woman – 37 ways to woo the girl of your dreams]

1. Your relationship

Guys usually hate this topic! Why? Because they think that women only want to talk about their relationship when there is something wrong.

Men don’t notice all the little problems in a romantic relationship like women do. So, that’s why guys tend to shut down when the topic of “us” comes up.

But just because she wants to talk about your relationship doesn’t mean she’s going to say negative things. You can steer the conversation into something more positive, such as what you love about each other. [Read: 20 things happy couples don’t do in a happy relationship]

2. Her friends

Let’s face it – women love their girlfriends. And when they’re together, they talk about all sorts of things. They talk about their love lives, work, family, politics, or anything else under the sun. [Read: How to treat your girlfriend right and make her feel like a queen]

If your girl has just gone out with a friend and comes home to tell you everything new she learned about her life, you might get bored and want to tune out.

But you can ask her a couple of questions, and that will make her happy that you appear to be interested.

3. Gossip

She might work in a big company with a lot of gossip going around. If that’s true, she probably has an earful to tell you all the time. While you might not care, she does. So, try to pretend like you do too.

4. Entertainment

Maybe she likes to watch E! News on the E! channel. Or she loves watching trashy shows like Keeping Up With the Kardashians or The Bachelor. She probably genuinely enjoys not only watching these shows but also talking about them too.

Beyond the TV shows, she also probably likes talking about celebrities and their lives. That may not interest you, but you can try to guide her into something you’re more interested about in the entertainment industry. [Read: Attention seeking behavior – Why some people go looking for drama all the time]

5. Personal struggles

Everyone has their problems in life. Maybe she is depressed, and so she wants to talk things out with you. Or maybe she’s been passed over for a promotion at work, and she’s taking it particularly hard.

Women love to talk about personal struggles – not just their own, but yours too *and other people’s as well*. You might not want to talk about your problems, but it makes her feel better.

Remember, however, sometimes she just needs you to listen and not necessarily try to solve her problems. [Read: How to understand women – 12 truths behind how they think and behave]

6. Future plans

Women always like planning for the future. One example is how many of them dream about their wedding day when they are little girls. So, she probably wants to talk about anything that could happen in the future.

The topics could be marriage, kids, career, travel plans, or anything else under the sun. This can be either fun or uncomfortable for guys, but you can try to guide her toward a topic you are interested in talking about. [Read: Turn offs for women – 24 things guys do that girls absolutely hate!]

What women don’t like to talk about

Okay, there are some generalizations and stereotypes on this list, but just go with it. Stereotypes exist for a reason.

1. Sports

Sure, some girls like sports. But as a rule, most of them don’t like them as much as guys do. Men tend to really get into them – like, all the time.

She’s more likely to care if is a championship game or one of her own teams. Otherwise, she just doesn’t care.

2. Hunting

Think back about the caveman days. Who did the hunting? The men did, not the women.

So again, some girls might like hunting, but if that’s one of your hobbies, chances are that she really doesn’t want to hear every little detail about your hunting adventures. [Read: Male bonding vs Female bonding – What are the biggest differences]

3. Cars

There are so many men that are “car guys.” They like to talk about the motors and boring stuff like that. Well, it’s boring to girls.

Women like cars because they’re pretty and glamorous. They don’t really want to talk about all the nitty gritty things about them. [Read: 26 qualities of a good woman that every man should look for]

4. Video games

Video games are all about competition. And according to gender researchers, males tend to be more competitive than females.

That’s probably why a lot of you guys are practically addicted to video games. But this is just not something all girls are interested in. [Read: 25 surprisingly good reasons to date a gamer]

Bottom line

There are many reasons why women talk so much. And let’s face it – you can’t really shut them up. You can try, but you probably won’t be successful.

So, now you know why women talk all the time, what you can do when she does, and what topics she may or may not want to talk about.

 [Read: How to make your girlfriend happy and feel like the luckiest girl ever]

It’s really not all that difficult dealing with a woman who talks a lot. But knowing why women talk so much can help you figure out just how to keep her quiet every now and then!

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer, and the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degr...
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