Home  >  Love Couch  >  Sweet Love

21 Questions for New Couples to Learn More About Each Other

When you’re getting to know one another, there are many things to learn. Check out these questions for new couples to ask one another and learn more!

questions for couples

It can be hard to know what types of questions to ask early in dating without hitting a nerve or risking sounding a little intrusive. Preparation is key! In that case, start with these 21 questions for new couples to ask one another.

You never really know someone until you’ve been in their life a while and delved a little deeper. In some cases, what you find can be a very welcome surprise. In other cases, it can be a minor nightmare come true. Regardless, the start of any relationship means that you’re treading on water, finding things out about one other, and figuring out how it all fits into the grand scheme of your new union. [Read: How to get to know someone – 18 ways to open up and make true friends]

The dos and don’ts of asking questions for couples

There are a few things you need to know about asking questions when you’re relatively new in one another’s lives. You don’t know this person that well yet, so how can you be sure that what you ask is going to be well received or something they’re going to balk at and become detached?

For that reason, check out these dos and don’ts of asking questions for couples who don’t really know one another that well – yet! [Read: How to get to know someone on a date]

1. Do avoid any subjects that could be potentially controversial, such as religion, politics, or money

2. Don’t fire questions at them like they’re in the middle of a police interrogation

3. Do make sure that you actually listen to the answers

4. Don’t interrupt and answer for them

5. Do be casual – you’re trying to get to know them, not freak them out [Read: How to get to know someone over text and build a real connection]

6. Don’t push too far – if you sense they don’t want to answer you, let it go

7. Do give your answers too, so they get to know you just as well

8. Don’t forget what you’ve been told!

Just be casual and throw these questions into your conversations over time. You’ll be amazed at what you learn![Read: 20 would you rather questions for couples who want to go deeper]

21 Questions for new couples to ask one another

Be prepared to be amazed at some of the answers that will come your way!

1. What is on your bucket list?

Everyone has a list of things they want to do in their lives, whether they have actually pre-prepared it or not. You can understand a person’s dreams from what they have on their bucket list and how determined they are to tick those items off. This is definitely one of the 21 questions for new couples to ask! [Read: 20 things that should be on every couple’s bucklist]

2. Where have you always wanted to travel to?

Is your new partner a sun person or do they prefer the cold? Are they a city lover or a beach person? It’s interesting what you can find out about someone based on where they want to travel.

3. Do you see yourself always living here?

Do they have aspirations to move elsewhere? That’s a deal-breaker for some, so it’s definitely one of the 21 questions for new couples to ask one another ahead of time. [Read: 15 reasons why you should travel at least once a year]

4. Doyou want children in the future?

This is a good one to weave into a casual conversation because it helps you understand whether you’re both on the same page in terms of what you want in the distant future. However, make sure you add on the ‘in the future’ part otherwise they might get freaked out and think you want to start having kids right now! [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly]

5. What first attracted you to me?

This is no doubt a question you’ve wondered and not had the nerve to ask! Go ahead and ask, you might be surprised by the answer, but be prepared to give your answer to your partner too!

6. What is your favorite memory from your childhood?

You can learn a lot about a person based on their favorite childhood memory so make it one of the 21 questions for new couples to ask. [Read: How to find your passion – 13 secrets to seek it in simple things]

7. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

This is an interesting one to learn! If your partner had the power to change something about themselves, finding out what that is could allow you a greater insight into their personality and thoughts.

8. What are you grateful for in your life?

This is one of the 21 questions for new couples to ask because it shows you whether your partner is a real family person, whether they’re job orientated, focused on the material things, or whether they think more about experiences.

9. If you were to have a perfect day, what would it look like?

This is a great question because it might give you some useful ideas for the next date night when it’s your turn to plan! [Read: Want a really fun date night? Try these drinking games for two]

10. Be honest, do you really trust me?

This is a serious question to ask, so make sure your body language is in line with your words. But it’s a good one nonetheless. This could lead to a deeper conversation about the future of your relationship.

11. What does a healthy relationship look like to you?

Again, this gives you information on what your partner expects in a relationship and the boundaries they might want to put into place. These sorts of questions lead to deeper conversations.

12. What do you want to know about me, but you daren’t ask?

Everyone has something they want to ask but haven’t had the nerve to come out with yet. This is their permission to ask you! [Read: What exactly is soul gazing? Learn how to foster a deeper connection]

13. Have you ever been in love before?

While you don’t have to initiate a deep conversation about past loves, it’s interesting to learn about whether your partner has ever been in a committed relationship before. As a result, it’s one of the 21 questions for new couples to explore.

14. What is your favorite film and why?

You can learn a lot about someone by their choice of film. When they give you a reason why that movie is their number one, you learn even more.

15. When you listen to music, do you hear the sounds or the words?

People tend to fall into two categories – the beats or the words. Which is your partner? [Read: 20 most romantic songs for the one you love]

16. What is your favorite quote?

We all love quotes and we love it when someone tells us their special words. It’s a good question to ask your partner. If they can’t think of one, it might encourage them to find a new quote to live their life by.

17. What is your single biggest regret in life?

This is one of the most important 21 questions for new couples because it helps to discover about your new partner’s past and what makes them tick. They’ll open up to you in ways they never did before. [Read: The 9 big emotional needs in a relationship that hold it all together]

18. What is your favorite thing about me?

Go on, ask! You know you want to! You might be surprised at their answer too.

19. Does your job fulfill you?

This will help you learn what types of things your partner might want to do work-wise in the future and whether or not they see any major changes on the horizon. These are things you need to know about if you’re in a relationship with someone!

20. What was your biggest dream as a child?

Again, this helps your partner to open up to you. You can share your answer and open up to them too. It’s one of the best 21 questions for new couples to ask because it initiates a deep and meaningful conversation. [Read: 20 questions to ask your lover and learn everything you need to know]

21. If we could do one thing right now, what would it be?

This could give you some great ideas of new things to do together and ways to spice up your love life!

Get to know your new partner and look forward to the future

Asking careful questions means that you’re able to delve into deeper subjects with your partner. This might surprise you and could really enhance your relationship in the process. You might learn new things that you never imagined. It’s also a great way to bring humor and depth into the time you spend together.

As long as you don’t make them feel like they’re in the middle of a job interview, this is one of the best ways to get to know this new person in your life.

[Read: Cute relationship goals all new couples need in their cute checklist]

Try these 21 questions for new couples. It’s a great way to find out more and could really help you to open up to each other, enhancing the connection you share in your new relationship together.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
Follow Nicky on