Online dating seems exciting, at first glance. You make a clever profile, upload a flattering picture, and wait for the messages to roll in. You’ve decided to be completely open minded about your new dating life. If she lives far away, you’ll drive to her. If she wants to pursue the relationship online only for a while, so be it!
Regrettably, the world of online dating is much different for males than it is for females. Much like in the actual world of dating, men will always have to work harder at their attempts to bag a girlfriend. Still, you’re not having much luck meeting girls at your work or university, and you’ve long ago given up on the club scene. All your friends are telling you to give online dating a go, so why not?
The scary things about online dating
Read on to see why online dating can be more terrifying than a horror movie, and why it’s probably not always worth your time.
#1 Profiles are carefully crafted. We all have a carefully crafted self that we reveal online. When making their online profile, your potential date has had plenty of time to make sure their “about me” section comes off as well-read as possible. They have an appropriate amount of time to respond to your messages in the most charming way they can. Your date online may have spent hours trying to create the perfect profile, so don’t be surprised if they aren’t as friendly or quick-witted in real life as they are via instant message.
#2 Wait, why don’t you look like your picture? A friend of mine had an interesting experience going on dates with women from dating websites. Out of 6 women, absolutely none of them looked like their picture. In fact, all were much heavier than their picture and profile had suggested. My friend explained that he would have gone out with these girls regardless of how they looked, but felt irked that they felt the need to mislead him about their physical appearance.
Unfortunately, we live in an extremely shallow society, which would rather see a pretty face than make an actual connection with someone. Catfish, anyone? But facts are facts, and odds are if you are not attracted to someone, you’re not going to want to pursue a relationship with them. So if you’re expecting Josh Hutcherson or a Scarlett Johansson type, odds are you’re not going to find them on any dating website! [Read: How to catch a catfish – Online fakers revealed]
#3 Don’t expect to be respected. Respect doesn’t dwell much on the Internet, does it? Don’t expect any less from a dating website! Some people can pay to see if you’ve viewed their sent messages or not, and let me tell you, they don’t take kindly to being ignored. Suddenly a seemingly cute, charming guy, once rejected or ignored, will turn into a screaming, crying, frat-boy ready to call you a slut at the drop of a hat. That’s the real way to win a lady, guys!
#4 Guys: You’re going to get ripped off. If you’re a male, the world of online dating is much more soul-sucking than if you were a female. Odds are you will have to message hundreds of girls, before you get an answer. If you finally get someone to agree to give you the time of day, you’ll take her out for dinner, on you, and likely never hear from her again. She got a free dinner, you got some awkward conversation and a glimmer of hope. [Read: 10 sure signs she’s just using you]
#5 Ladies: You will get bored. While commercials for dating websites may highlight two attractive people who met online, found their soulmate, got married and lived happily ever after – odds are you’re not going to find your prince charming via social media. Yes, you may get a free dinner out of it, but your conversation will be awkward, and most likely, all you will get out of the date is the knowledge of what you *don’t* want in a relationship. [Read: 3 ways you can end a bad date]
#6 Penis pics, anyone? Not all men, obviously, but many of the men found on dating websites like to make a habit of sending rude messages about the less than eloquent ways they would screw you, or offer up pictures of their Johnson’s as if they were free coupons in a newspaper. Beware, perverts live on the Internet and seem to blossom on dating websites.
#7 The horror of online rejection. So you’ve been seeing this girl for about a month now and suddenly she hits you with the “we need to talk” line. She breaks it off and you’re left back on the market. The point? She got to know you, your annoying quirks, your less than enthusiastic performance in bed, or whatever the case may be.
The point is, she got to *know* you. Online? You may be rejected after a mere 2-second glance! Be prepared for the embarrassment of knowing someone you’ve never even met thought you weren’t worth the time of day for a date.
#8 You’re married?! No bones about it, there are married people on dating websites who are eager to find an easy lay. Yuck! [Read: Easy-to-spot signs that he may be married]
#9 Club night gone wrong. A friend of mine took a girl out from OKCupid on several dates and things seemed to be going well. The two went to a nightclub together. The girl took her fancy in other men at the club and eventually, while on the dance floor, literally danced away from the guy she was on a date with, and left with another man. Charming, right?
#10 Stuff that’s seriously scary. We’ve all heard of creepy Craigslist killers, but there are plenty of less threatening, still scary situations that online dating can put you in. For example, men might try to get you to come home with them and may have a less than adult reaction if you decline. Horror stories abound online of men who’ve simply whipped it out after the rejection of their date, and done the deed themselves. [Read: 9 types of pervy guys you shouldn’t even consider meeting]
The basic rules of online dating
While online dating may no longer be as appealing to you after reading the above points, you can still give it a shot. But you also need to follow these three cardinal rules of online dating to ensure you don’t end up getting hurt.
#1 Never meet alone. Always meet up in a public place, so that if anything fishy happens, someone will be around to help you out.
#2 Never get in their car. Definite no-no as far as dating rules go. Sure, it may seem gentlemanly for him to pick you up and drive you to your designated date location, but how romantic will it seem when he’s begging you for a blow-job, cornered in his car? Gross.
#3 Never give your address out. Also, never let him follow you home. You are just asking for trouble.
[Read: 14 most important rules of online dating]
Online dating can be scary, but done safely and with the right person, can be rewarding also. Stay safe when pursuing a new relationship online and always trust your gut instinct!
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Waverly Smith is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peo...
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