Some people love their jobs. Dating a workaholic can present its own set of challenges when it comes to keeping your relationship in a healthy state.
Most people aren’t super invested in their jobs. They don’t care enough about them to put their relationships on the backburner. But if you just so happen to start dating a workaholic, you’ll quickly realize how difficult that can be.
You have to work a bit harder to maintain a healthy relationship than a lot of other couples. And believe me, it will not be easy. But if you care about this person and even admire their work ethic, the extra work is worth it.
Society tells us to value relationships more than work
For a lot of us, this is just what we believe. We grow up learning that the relationships you build are more important than your job. This can be completely true if you’re not someone who has what you believe a very important job.
But then there are people who end up with their dream jobs. The one thing they want to do most in life is right in front of them and that can make any romantic relationships a lot more difficult. You’re fighting against the norm here. Knowing how to make sure you come out on top is crucial. [Read: How to make the right choice between love or your career]
Dating a workaholic and keeping your relationship healthy
Once again, you’ll have to work hard. It might get difficult at times when you feel like their job is more important than you. But if you’re ready to take on this challenge, here’s how to make sure your relationship stays happy and healthy.
#1 They have to be willing to work for it, too. You can’t be the only person putting forth and effort to make it work. When their job becomes the only thing they care about, your relationship won’t last.
This is the very first thing you have to figure out when you realize you’re dating a workaholic. Ask them if they’re really in it and then see if their actions reflect what they say. Only then can you move forward and try.
#2 Schedule time together. They likely have a very busy schedule. That means you’ll have to find your way into it. Sometimes that means you both have to actually schedule time together. It’s like planning for date nights except you might just be planning time to hang out together uninterrupted at home. [Read: 10 dating tips for guys with a busy girl]
#3 Visit them at work. If they’re at work far more than you are, go ahead and visit them if it’s allowed. You don’t have to stay long. Sometimes all you really need to is bring them a coffee and give them a kiss.
That can do a lot more for your relationship than it seems. This selfless act isn’t jut doing something kind for them. It’s also supporting their work and making an effort to be there during your free time.
#4 Support their work endlessly. When you’re dating a workaholic, you need to remember that they’re passionate about their work. That’s why they do it so much. You have got to be supportive of it if you want your relationship to work out.
If you’re not, they’ll see that. And if they’re a workaholic who really cares about what they’re doing, they won’t want to be with someone who doesn’t see the value in what they do. They’ll choose their job over you if you don’t support them.
#5 Learn more about why it’s so important. Get to know their job better. Ask them why it’s so important to them that they have to be working all the time. Sometimes all you really need is a better understanding of what’s going on in their head in order to make your relationship work out. [Read: 10 ways to know if your relationship is work keeping]
#6 Never cancel date nights. Both of you have to keep to this rule. Your scheduled date nights are one of the only things keeping your relationship normal. You have to have that intimate time.
Unless an emergency comes up, you should never be allowed to cancel date nights. And if you absolutely need to, they have to be rescheduled ASAP – preferably for the next day. Having that time to bond and have a sense of normalcy is too important to ignore.
#7 Make sure to stay involved with their work life. Try to help out. Why can’t you put forth some effort to integrate yourself in their work life a bit? Not only will it help you spend more time with them, but it’ll be really meaningful to your partner.
They’ll see the effort you’re making and it’ll feel like they finally found a teammate – someone who understands their priorities.
#8 Communicate when you feel neglected. You have to be able to talk to them. There will be times when their work will start to take over a bit. You have to be able to tell them when you’re feeling neglected so you can get back to a better place.
And they have to be open to receiving this, too. It’ll be easy for them to get upset and try to justify their actions, but they can’t. They have to be understanding and make some time for you again. [Read: 14 steps for better communication in a relationship]
#9 Pick up the slack at home. Your significant other works a lot. You likely work a lot less than they do. That means you’ll have to pick up some slack for them. If they have to work all the time and then come home and do a ton of chores while you’ve been doing relatively nothing, it’ll upset them.
Work together to find a happy medium. You obviously don’t have to do every little thing but if you try to make it so you’re doing equal work, your relationship will benefit from it.
#10 Use the time they de-stress from work to bond. After they come home, they’ll want to sit down and not do much. They’re tired and they need to relax. That’s your opportunity to get close and have some intimate time.
Give them a back massage or rub their feet. Make them a dinner so you can eat together when they come home. It’s very simple stuff that can make the biggest difference in the happiness of your relationship. [Read: 34 ways to build a stronger bond]
#11 Never let your sex life lag. This is crucial. When your partner works a lot, they’ll be tired. But the thing is, sex is really important. It’s time for you two to connect and actually feel like a couple. So if you have to, schedule time for it. Don’t let it slack.
#12 Ask them what they need from you. They’re busy and they work a lot. The best way to know how to make a relationship work with them is to ask how. Ask them what they really need. You might be surprised what they ask of you.