Why Do Guys Like Breasts Like Crazy?!

You can move the breasts out of a guy’s face, but you can’t make the guy take his eyes off it. Ever heard that? No? Well, it’s true. So why do guys like breasts so much? The Super Fella explains the real reason behind why men like breasts.

Little boys get giddy with ecstatic happiness when they jump on a soft cushiony bed. It’s such a happy feeling, isn’t it? It’s blissful and so oooh-exciting.

And grown up boys, well, we feel a million times happier when we see a great pair of breasts.

Buy why do guys like breasts so much?

Let me count the ways.

[Read: 20 things about a girl that sexually excites a guy]

If there is ever a guy who says he doesn’t like breasts, well, he’s either a fairy or a lying pervert who does dirty things to himself.

Here, I’ll tell you why men like breasts so much.

Breasts to a man are what cotton candy is to a boy. And breasts to a man are what a million inexhaustible credit cards are to a woman.

Kids love Charlie’s Chocolate Factory, and I’m effing waiting for a man version of Charlie and the Booby Factory. Can you imagine that? Of course, you don’t want to. Unless you’re a man.

Why do guys like breasts?

Most women wonder why men like breasts and think this obsession is ridiculous and perverse. But just like most women are suckers for sweet talk, flowers, chocolates or ridiculous cravings in the middle of the night, men are suckers for a great pair of them boobs.

If I could use a boob wallpaper on my iPad, I wouldn’t be testing its features, I’d be testing it for drool resistance. And yeah, I’d stop using my pillow.

No, of course, I don’t do that! Who told you that?

Now I’m not going to tell you the psychological or the evolutionary reasons behind why guys like breasts. It’s too clean and rather indecent to blame evolution for my interest in perfect breasts. And I’m sure all you pretty ladies reading this want to know why men like a woman’s breasts and what he thinks about when he sees a great pair. But if you want to know the evolutionary reason behind why men like breasts, we’ll put an evolutionary piece up just for you very soon.

It’s out of view

Moving on now, why do men like breasts? Well, simply because it’s out of our view. Men can’t see any the breasts of any woman they want, unless there’s a movie clip somewhere on the internet. And that makes it so much more alluring and enticing. One of the first things that distinguish a man from a woman is the breasts, and other than the wider hips, it’s really the only distinguishing feature that’s completely obvious to recognize a woman. [Read: Kinds of men who stare at women]

And let’s not forget how close to eye contact level breasts really are. You just need to look a few degrees lower than a girl’s eyes, and whoa! Gold mine!

To make it harder for the man, breasts are almost always covered. And that means men are not supposed to see it. And that makes men want to see it all the more. And in a well fitting tee shirt, it’s worth stopping, staring and fantasizing about them.

Mysterious mind games

When a man looks at a woman’s breasts, he notices the shape it creates on the tee shirt. And it almost always looks good. How good? That depends on a lot of other things we’ll get to in a bit.

A good pair of breasts stimulates a man’s mind and makes him visualize how good the breast must actually look like. It’s mysterious, and men are born explorers. And this makes the mind play games on him and gets him into a mini game of twenty questions. How do those boobs really look? Could she be great in bed? Can I see her nipples through the shirt? Is that a push up bra? Man, how many inches is that cleavage? And it ends with an answer. Ding ding! Gosh, she would be so good in bed!

Covered breasts create mystery, mystery creates a game of twenty questions, and the man gets the answer in the end. She’s hot!

Breasts and the curves

Other than on the street, why do men like breasts? Men like breasts a lot because it looks so good on a woman. A good pair of breasts can just transform a woman’s curves from a hmm-second-glance to an ohh-god-ohhh-god grunting boner in front of the mail box like Rob Schneider in the Animal.

Guys don’t have breasts, and that makes them all the more fascinating to us. We’re flat on the chest and even if we bench press every day, all we’d get is a firm board that feels nothing like a woman’s breast. And the curious awe makes guys love it even more. Has your man ever just touched your breast and told you how soft and nice it feels? Now you know just how jealous he really is! [Read: How to sleep with him in a sexy way]

Guys love the way breasts feel

Women are a lot softer and nicer to touch than men. I don’t know why, but no matter how often a guy shaves his chest, he’s never going to feel as soft as a girl’s breasts could feel. There are some men who stroke themselves instead of a woman’s breasts, but as I said earlier, they’re probably perverts.

A guy could spend all day stroking a great pair of breasts with his hands. And each time his fingers pass by a little pointy speed bump in the middle, he’d love running his hands all the more, all over again. To a man, breasts are really the softest things in the world. They’re like marshmallows, just a lot, lot better! [Read: What men want in bed]

When do guys like breasts the most?

Guys like breasts all the time, whether the girls sleeping or walking, or partying or talking. A man just can’t help but look south when he thinks he can sneak a peek. But if you’re looking for the perfect setting to make your boobs look so darn irresistible, then here’s every guy’s top boob looks!

Tight tee shirts: Men love tight tee shirts more than anything else in the world. Almost all girls wear well fitting tee shirts, and that’s pretty much the definition of a tight tee shirt. Wear a thin tight tee and a guy’ll have a hard time taking his eyes off your rack.

Cleavages: There’s something so awe inspiring in a perfect cleavage. A great cleavage may be a few inches deep, but to a guy, it could seem so mesmerizingly awesome and attention grabbing that he could stare at it forever. And hence the phrase, never ending cleavage!

Sideboob: Moths are drawn to a flame. Men are drawn to a sideboob. Every single guy finds this completely irresistible. He may be a respectable guy who knows how to stare at a girl’s cleavage without making her feel uncomfortable, but not when the girl’s flashing a sideboob. Every guy just has to look. It’s like gravity, a man can’t help it. [Read: Tips on turning a guy on]

Now these are just three circumstances when a man finds a woman’s breasts completely irresistible. But there are other times too when a man thinks a woman’s breasts are awesome. Like when she has a nipple slip, if she’s public flashing [Read: Getting naked in public], or when she’s just doing her own thing, or walking on the street, or sitting down in a café, or hanging out with her friends.

Yeah, that’s right. Guys like breasts no matter what a girl is doing anyways. So it really doesn’t matter if you’re dressing sexy or lounging in an old pullover. Men will still stare at breasts. [For men: How to stare at breasts like a gentlemen]

Confused? Well, so are we!

So why do guys like breasts? For all the reasons above and a million other reasons that are as unique as the man himself. But if there’s one thing we men do know for certain, it’s the fact that men like breasts and they can’t really do anything about it!

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