If you just can’t seem to figure out what you’re doing wrong when it comes to picking up guys, knowing how to be attractive to men will help.
The differences between men and women are countless. Even if you ignore all things physical, we’re still basically aliens in comparison to one another. And that means there’s often a misunderstanding when it comes to attracting each other. Knowing how to be attractive to men isn’t as simple as thinking about what you’d like.
Because men aren’t like us. The things we value and find attractive right after meeting someone aren’t the same things. And although you want someone to know you for who you are, if they don’t feel that initial connection, they won’t take the time to get to know you, no matter how great of a match you’d be.
Men think in a completely different way
Women look for such different things when we open our minds and our hearts. We take a lot of different factors into consideration and even give people we aren’t initially attracted to the benefit of the doubt. We give them a second chance.
Guys, on the other hand, don’t usually do that. They have a tendency to make a quick judgment about their level of attraction to you and move on if it’s not there. Yes, this is super bad for finding true love but it’s the way they are.
Instead of getting upset about it, you should be learning how to be attractive to men right off the bat. This will help you tailor your behavior so they see the most attractive parts of you first. That way, they’ll be willing to dig a little deeper for the more important parts. [Read: 7 reasons women don’t understand men’s communication style]
How to be attractive to men – It’s more than just your looks
Being attractive to men isn’t all about your looks. While guys tend to be more physical beings, they still care about how well you two hit it off. And there are a lot more ways to spark that initial attraction in addition to looking fine as hell.
But for the most part, women aren’t doing things correctly. They think knowing how to be attractive to men has everything to do with putting on a tight dress and sticking out their chest. In addition to those things, these are what you may be doing wrong to attract men.
#1 Being over sexual. Yes, guys are very sexual and they tend to think in more sexual terms. However, this doesn’t mean you need to appeal to that specific thing too much. Sure, if you make a funny sex joke that’s in good taste, it’ll work in your favor.
The issue is when you end up turning everything into sex. Doing this over and over just makes a guy think you’ve been around the block a few times. And that’s not something men find very attractive in a woman.
It’s perfectly fine to have a lot of sexual partners, but men aren’t attracted to someone who looks and acts like they’ve had a lot. Keep it tasteful and you’ll know how to be attractive to men. [Read: How to build sexual tension the flirty way]
#2 Trying to pick up too many guys at once. If you’re making the rounds and hitting on a guy and all his friends, you’re not doing yourself any favors. It might seem like you’re playing hard to get and trying to make other guys jealous, but it really just looks like you don’t want any guy in particular.
If you have your eye on someone, keep it on him. If he sees you with others guys he’ll automatically just assume you’re not really that interested in him. What’s attractive to men is when they feel special.
#3 Being loud and obnoxious. While this may seem like a great way to get attention, it’s not the right kind of attention. Women who make this mistake are often trying to seem like the “fun” girl who’s really easy to get along with.
However, being fun and being loud and obnoxious aren’t even close to the same thing. A woman who’s having fun is laughing and enjoying herself. So instead of trying to look like you’re having fun, just go out and have fun.
#4 Interviewing them instead of just talking. If a guy talks to you and feels like he’s being interviewed, he’s definitely not going to be attracted to you. In order to learn how to be attractive to men, you have to learn how to talk to them in an alluring way.
And the best way to do that is to keep them talking about what they enjoy most. Everyone loves gushing about their hobbies. If you ask a lot of questions about the stuff he enjoys most, he’ll find it really attractive.
#5 Skipping to the serious stuff too soon. There’s no reason to bring up exes, family drama, or anything negative when you’re just trying to hit on a guy. It makes you seem very unappealing in the worst way. Stick to light, fun topics and guys will find it much more attractive. [Read: 10 rules to keep things casual only]
#6 Being overly eager. It’s okay to be excited about a guy you’re talking to, but just remember that a guy’s primal instincts are very strong. They like the chase. This doesn’t mean that you have to play hard to get the entire time but it does mean that if it’s too easy, he won’t really be attracted to you.
Don’t be so damn eager to talk to him that you just drop everything and get super giddy. Relax. Calm down and show him that, while you may be interested, you’re not that desperate. This will read like a challenge and believe me, he’ll want to go for it. [Read: Why men love a chase and how to use this in your favor]
#7 Trying too hard to look good. Yes, you need to know how to look good in order to know how to be attractive to men. They’re visual beings, like I’ve said. But that doesn’t mean you need to look over-the-top amazing.
If you wear something comfortable, flattering to your figure, and you’ve made an effort, he’ll notice. Try focusing on showing a guy who you are through your outfit choice while also making sure it flatters you. [Read: 20 common signs of people pleasers who try too hard]
#8 Acting too insecure. Nobody wants to date someone who’s really insecure. It’s not attractive to be talking about how good looking some other girl is. Have some confidence. It’s one of the sexiest things about a woman and you need it in order to learn how to be attractive to men.
#9 Being too uptight with jokes. Obviously, if a guy is making sex jokes left and right and they’re just not funny, don’t act like they are. However, you also can’t shut off your sense of humor altogether. Guys identify really closely to humor and not laughing when something he said is funny won’t do you any favors. [Read: 17 little ways to attract a guy and make him desire you forever]
#10 Hiding your smile and other assets. I’m not sure why women drown their bodies in oversized clothes and put their hand over their mouth when they smile. It reeks of low self-esteem and guys love seeing those things. If you maintain your confidence, show him your smile, and wear something that flatters your best asset, he’ll be attracted to you.
If you really want to pick up a guy and find love, you’ll have to know how to be attractive to men. And that means you’ll want to avoid all of the above mistakes commonly made by women who just can’t seem to find a guy.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...