We’ve all felt nervous from time to time about whether people will like us or not. It could be starting a new school, going to an event, or starting a new job. We want to meet new people and make new friends, but worry that we will say the wrong thing or find it difficult to fit in.
Perhaps you weren’t so popular in school and now are heading off to college and hoping to make a fresh start. Perhaps you have moved to a different city and are feeling lonely, or perhaps you are in a job where you need people to trust and admire you so they find you more persuasive.
Knowing how to make people like you is something that comes more naturally to some people than others, but luckily, if you find it difficult to make new friends or gain people’s confidence, there are some tips and tricks that can help make life easier for you.
How to make people like you – The things that make you instantly likeable
If people like you, they are more likely to want to spend time with you, to share things with you, to believe what you say, to invite you places, to laugh at your jokes, to lend things to you, to promote you, to do you favors – and the list goes on.
So, whatever situation you are in, getting more people to like you can make your life a richer, fuller, better one. [Read: Why don’t people like you – The 20 most common reasons why]
So, what can you do to make people like you? Try these 35 tips.
#1 Listen. People like to know they are being listened to, so make sure you pay attention – don’t just nod your head and smile!
#2 Smile. People will like you more if you show them those pearly whites. You need to look friendly and approachable, so make sure you flash them a smile when you first meet, and try to smile lots during conversations too.
#3 Find common ground. People like to feel understood, so make sure you find lots in common with them! [Read: How to get someone to like you immediately]
#4 Go on an adventure with them. Doing something, fun, wild, and adventurous will prove you are lots of fun and help you bond.
#5 Do them a favor. People will look upon you kindly if you are willing to help them out, so make sure you are happy to go out of your way for them.
#6 Be kind. A little kindness goes a long way, so make sure you show people that you are a kind and decent person.
#7 Stick up for them. If you show that you are willing to fight for and stick up for that person, they’ll really appreciate it and be more likely to return the favor too.
#8 Be thoughtful. There are many ways you can be thoughtful – offer to make the teas and coffees, help someone out when they are stuck on something, or just ask someone how their day was.
#9 Look after them. If someone isn’t feeling well or having a tough time, show that you care by looking after them – this will show them what a great person you are, and they’ll really appreciate you being their friend. [Read: How to make someone feel better – 20 ways to make a sad friend smile]
#10 Remember them. People like to feel acknowledged – so when you are introduced to people, be it at an event, in your new class, or at your new job, pay attention to their names and what they do.
#11 Ask them questions. People love to talk about themselves so make sure you ask a lot of questions to show your interest.
#12 Be interested in their interests. If you know they love to play golf on the weekend, or that they love a certain band, get interested in the same stuff as them, and then they’ll think it was a friendship that was meant to be!
#13 Be positive. People who come across as positive and happy are more likeable. [Read: 15 easy ways to be nice and loved by all instantly!]
#14 Share secrets with them. If you open up to them and show your vulnerable side, they’ll feel closer to you.
#15 Be generous. Be generous with your stuff, your money, your time – a person who is considered generous is definitely more likeable than one who isn’t.
#16 Be honest. Honesty is always the best policy – even if you make a mistake, own up to it, and they’ll be much more likely to forgive and appreciate your candor.
#17 Be human. It’s hard to like perfection – it’s just not real. Show your flaws and your human side, and you’ll come across as much more likeable and relatable.
#18 Nod your head. Science shows that nodding your head lots when talking to people makes them want to agree with you more.
#19 Pay attention to your personal hygiene. Appearances are important when it comes to likability too – make sure you look clean and smell great. [Read: 12 hacks to avoid a first impressions catastrophe]
#20 Dress well. People tend to be more attracted to people who are good-looking, and dress well, so make sure you take care of the way you look too.
#21 Be relaxed. If you are too stiff or nervous, people will feel uncomfortable around you, so make sure you relax and come across that way.
#22 Maintain eye contact *but don’t stare*. Make sure you look people in the eye – otherwise they’ll think you aren’t paying attention to them. But don’t stare – that might put them off!
#23 Be confident. Confidence is very attractive, so hold your head high and don’t be scared to approach people!
#24 Be competent. Make sure you know what you are talking about and don’t make blundering errors or claim to know lots of things about a subject you don’t.
#25 Be complimentary. A little flattery goes a long way! [Read: How to make real friends outside your social network]
How to make people like you – The things you just shouldn’t do
Now we have looked at some great ways to get people to like you, let’s take a look at some of the common pitfalls which turn people off.
So, if you want to know how to make people like you, then you make sure you…
#26 Don’t lie or exaggerate. People tend not to give those who have lied to them too many chances. [Read: How to stop lying to yourself and to others around you]
#27 Don’t be dismissive. If people think they are not being heard by you, they’ll find it hard to like you.
#28 Don’t be rude. Rudeness is often voted the least likeable trait of all!
#29 Don’t be cruel. No one likes a person who is mean to others, so make sure you are nice to people and you can then expect the same from them.
#30 Don’t make bad jokes. Being funny makes people like you, but constant bad humor is extremely off-putting. [Read: 12 types of humor and how it affects others’ behavior towards you]
#31 Don’t be arrogant. Arrogance is an extremely unlikable trait.
#32 Don’t be presumptuous. Again, this is all about listening to people – don’t presume anything.
#33 Don’t be negative. Negativity becomes draining very quickly.
#34 Don’t ass kiss. If you come across as ingratiating and obsequious, people won’t like you. [Read: How to make new friends as an adult – 15 ways to do it right]
#35 Take your time! Above all else be yourself, and take your time. You can’t expect to gain 100 new best friends overnight, so just be relaxed about it, don’t rush in all guns blazing and just let thing develop naturally.
[Read: 18 Insightful reasons why you don’t have any friends]
Knowing how to make people like you does take a bit of time and effort, but it doesn’t have to be all hard work. Just be open to new things, friendly, and you’ll find that people easily warm up to you, and you’ll make new friends in no time!
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