Home  >  My Life  >  Relationships

31 Irresistibly Likable Secrets to Make People Like You & BIG Mistakes to Avoid

Do you want to know how to make people like you? Most people do. It’s pretty easy. And with these tips you’ll be able to charm absolutely anyone!

how to make people like you and be more likeable

Remember the time you walked into a room full of strangers and felt that little twinge of anxiety, wondering if you’d fit in? Well, that’s a feeling most of us have experienced at one point or another. And we all want to know how to make people like you.

Whether it’s the first day at a new job, a social gathering, or simply trying to impress that cute barista at your favorite coffee shop, we’ve all been there.

But here’s the kicker: How to make people like you isn’t about putting on a show or turning into someone you’re not.

What Does Being Likeable Mean?

Being likable means something different to everyone, but it’s definitely more complex than winning a high school popularity contest. [Read: How to be nice – 20 easy tips to make everyone love being around you]

It’s about creating genuine connections, understanding others, and finding common ground. In essence, likability is about being human and being authentic. It’s about showing interest, empathy, and sometimes just being a good listener.

But why does likability matter? Because life’s too short to navigate relationships like you’re trapped in an awkward dance at prom night.

Being likable leads to genuine connections with friends, family, co-workers, and yes, even that cute barista. [Read: 34 Qualities of a good person and BIG benefits of being a nice human being]

And trust me, the benefits of being likable extend far beyond getting an extra shot of espresso in your latte *though that’s a pretty good perk too!*.

How to Make People Like You – The Things that Make You Instantly Likeable

When it comes to being likeable, there’s no magical formula or secret handshake involved. It’s the subtle things that can make a big difference.

Let’s explore some of the key aspects that make you instantly likeable, without the need for a decoder ring or special cape. [Read: Why are people rude and mean to nice people and ways to deal with them]

1. Smiling and Positive Attitude

Nothing says “Hey, I’m approachable!” like a genuine smile. It radiates warmth and openness, making others feel at ease around you. This positive attitude acts as the foundation for all your interactions.

2. Asking Open-Ended Questions

According to the Socratic method, open-ended questions stimulate thinking and engage others in dialogue.

By asking questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” response, you encourage conversation, making people feel valued and understood.

3. Active Listening Skills

People love talking about themselves, so lend them an ear! Active listening shows you’re engaged and care about what they’re saying. It’s a natural progression from having a positive attitude, creating a deeper connection.

4. Genuine Interest in Others’ Lives

People appreciate when others show curiosity about their lives. Asking about hobbies, families, or even pets can make someone feel special and cared for.

5. Remembering Names and Details

Ever met someone who remembered your name from a brief encounter months ago? [Read: 50 Nice things to say to your best friend and brighten their day]

It feels pretty impressive! Remembering names and small details about others can make them feel important and valued.

6. Utilizing the Benjamin Franklin Effect

This psychological phenomenon suggests that if you ask someone for a small favor, they are more likely to like you. It’s paradoxical but true!

When someone does something for you, they justify it by assuming they must like you. So, don’t be shy about asking for a small assist now and then. [Read: How not to be a pushover – what makes you one and how to take a stand]

7. Empathy and Emotional Intelligence

Building on your listening skills, understanding others’ feelings helps you become the friend everyone wants.

It’s about recognizing emotions in others and responding appropriately. No need for psychic powers here, just good, old-fashioned empathy.

8. Being Respectful of Others’ Opinions

In an age of diverse perspectives, showing respect for others’ opinions, even when they differ from your own, can go a long way in establishing rapport. Agreeing to disagree can be a powerful connector. [Read: How to stop being rude to your partner and treat them with respect]

9. Compliments and Appreciation

A compliment can brighten someone’s day, especially if it’s sincere and specific. “Hey, nice shoes!” can be a genuine icebreaker, building on the positive vibes you’ve already established.

10. Demonstrating Vulnerability

Brené Brown’s research on vulnerability shows that being open about your feelings and thoughts can foster deeper connections. It breaks down barriers and builds trust. Sharing a little about yourself makes you relatable and draws people closer to you.

11. Body Language

Your words are only part of the conversation. Body language speaks volumes. Uncross those arms and let’s get into the science of non-verbal cues.

From your stance to eye contact, body language connects all these elements, adding a layer of sincerity.

12. Consistency and Reliability

Cialdini’s Principle of Consistency emphasizes that people prefer to deal with others they find consistent and reliable. Being there when you say you will and keeping promises creates a sense of stability, making you a person others can depend on.

13. Finding Common Ground

Seeking shared interests or experiences helps to establish an immediate connection. Whether it’s a favorite movie, a shared hometown, or even a mutual dislike for brussel sprouts, finding common ground creates a sense of camaraderie.

14. The ‘Mirroring’ Technique

Ever heard of this? It’s the psychological phenomenon of subtly copying someone’s body language.

A clever yet natural way to establish rapport, mirroring can tie everything together, making your interactions more harmonious.

15. Showing Humor

Research indicates that humor, when used appropriately, enhances likability. It can break down walls and foster an environment of comfort and enjoyment. [Read: How to be funny – 28 must-knows tips to make everyone love your humor]

You don’t have to be a stand-up comedian; a well-timed joke or witty comment can add spark to a conversation.

16. Offering Assistance

Just as asking for help can build rapport, offering assistance shows that you’re considerate and willing to be a team player. Helping others creates a sense of reciprocity and goodwill, enhancing your likability.

17. Practicing Good Hygiene and Appearance

First impressions matter, and taking care of your appearance demonstrates self-respect and consideration for others. [Read: 40 Secrets to look sexy, feel seductive, and unleash the sexiness inside you]

Good hygiene, clean clothes, and grooming might sound superficial but can create a positive impression.

18. Apologizing and Owning Mistakes

We’re all human, and we all make mistakes. Owning up to them and apologizing when necessary is a sign of maturity and authenticity. It can turn a potential conflict into a strengthening moment in a relationship.

19. Being Present and Putting Away the Phone

In our technology-driven world, giving someone your full attention without glancing at your phone can make them feel truly special. Being fully present shows that you value the person and the conversation. [Read: Phubbing – what it is, 18 reasons why we phub, and ways to stop it ASAP]

How to Make People Like You – The Things You Just Shouldn’t Do

Just as there are behaviors that can endear you to others, there are also actions that can have the opposite effect. It’s like adding too much salt to a dish – it can turn something delightful into a disaster.

Here’s what you should steer clear of if you want to keep your relationships on the sunny side.

1. Being Arrogant or Pretentious

Avoid acting like the smartest person in the room. Research on the Dunning-Kruger effect shows that those who think they know it all often overestimate their abilities.

Sure, you may know how to spell ‘floccinaucinihilipilification,’ but nobody likes a show-off. Authenticity wins hearts, not arrogance. It’s better to be humble and approachable than to come across as someone who’s just too cool for school.

2. Gossiping

A wise person once said, “If you’re talking about others, what are you saying about me?” Gossiping can erode trust and paint you as untrustworthy. Keep the tea in the cup, not spilled all over the place.

3. Over – or Under – Communicating

Communication is a fine art, and striking the balance is key. Being a chatterbox can overwhelm, while playing it too mysterious can leave others in the dark.

Aim for Goldilocks – not too hot, not too cold, just right! [Read: Am I emotionally unavailable? 32 signs you are and the fastest ways to fix it]

4. Ignoring Boundaries

Psychological studies on personal space reveal that crossing someone’s boundaries can lead to discomfort and even aggression. Boundaries are like invisible fences; you might not see them, but they’re important.

Respect personal space, both physically and emotionally. Crossing lines without invitation is a quick way to damage connections.

5. Interrupting Others

Interrupting is a sign of poor active listening skills, a fundamental element in how to make people like you. Studies show that those who listen more and interrupt less are perceived as more empathetic and understanding. [Read: 20 Secrets to stop being selfish and ways to stop using and hurting others]

Let others have their say, and don’t jump in before they’re finished. Interrupting sends the message that what you have to say is more important. It’s like cutting in line at the amusement park – not cool!

6. Constant Complaining

Positive psychology highlights the importance of optimism and positivity, as it attracts, well, positivity. Being a constant complainer can wear down those around you. Nobody wants to ride the “Woe Is Me” roller coaster all day.

7. Oversharing Personal Information

While vulnerability is a virtue, oversharing can be off-putting. It’s like giving someone the entire book when they only asked for the summary. Know your audience and share accordingly. [Read: How to stop being needy – why people get clingy and 32 ways to fix it]

8. Displaying Negative Body Language

Studies on non-verbal communication have shown that negative body language, such as crossing arms or avoiding eye contact, can create barriers in relationships. Being mindful of body language is a key ingredient in how to be more likable.

9. Benefits of Being Likeable

If understanding how to make people like you and how to be more likable were a college course, this section would be the “Why Should You Care?” lecture.

But don’t worry, there’s no exam at the end – just a delightful exploration of why being likable is the social equivalent of having a golden ticket. [Read: 18 Fun secrets to be the life of the party and be noticed and loved by everyone]

Whether you’re wooing a date or trying to impress in a job interview, being likable can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. So, grab your lab coat and let’s dissect these benefits:

10. Improved Relationships

Whether it’s a first date or a business meeting, being likable can seal the deal. It’s like adding the cherry on top of a sundae – it makes everything better. People are naturally drawn to likable individuals, which fosters connections, trust, and understanding.

11. Career Advancements

Want that corner office or that dream job? People tend to hire, promote, and recommend folks they like. [Read: How to balance your career, social life, and dating life]

And no, I’m not just making this up; science backs it up, I swear! Studies show that likability affects professional success. It’s like networking, but without the awkward handshakes.

12. Better Mental Well-being

Feeling connected and accepted improves overall happiness. Likability leads to stronger social connections, which are vital for mental well-being. Who doesn’t want that? It’s the emotional equivalent of eating comfort food but without the calories.

Don’t Try Too Hard!

Navigating social interactions can be complex, but with these insights on how to make people like you and how to be more likable, you now have a practical guide.

Remember, it’s essential to be authentic and not to lose yourself in the pursuit of likability. [Read: How to build self-esteem and love life with 10 simple life changes]

Putting these tips into practice can improve relationships and provide opportunities, but it’s equally important not to stress about pleasing everyone. Trying too hard to be liked by everyone can be exhausting and unproductive.

So, here’s your homework *but the fun kind*: start small, be yourself, and watch how learning how to make people like you and how to be more likable can enhance your life. And if you stumble along the way? That’s okay too.

[Read: 55 Secrets and self-love habits to build confidence and realize your worth]

Even the most seasoned chefs sometimes burn the toast. Keep that chin up and that smile bright, and remember that knowing how to get people to like you is just – simply being yourself.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. And while you’re at it, check out MIRL, a cool new social networking app that connects experts and seekers!

Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...