11 Surefire Ways to Know You’re Dating a Real Gentleman

signs you're dating a gentleman

True gentlemen can be pretty hard to come by in this day and age, so how can you tell if you’re dating one? Check for these signs to find out!

Finding a true gentleman can help make your dating experience amazing. They know how to satisfy women on the emotional level before they deign to venture into the physical realm. They’re considerate and kind, without being a complete doormat. However, gentlemen can be difficult to identify if you don’t know what you’re looking for.

Sometimes, women can get stuck in a rut dating the wrong kinds of guys. The bad boy appeal can be difficult to avoid until you learn better. But once you get past that phase, a gentleman can bring you dating satisfaction that you didn’t know was possible. After all, someone once said that it takes a bad man to make you thankful for a good one.

So what are the things that make a man a gentleman?

Being a gentleman is part of one’s personality. But you can’t just hand out personality tests to every guy you want to date. So here are some of the observable signs that you’re with a gentleman.

#1 He doesn’t actively try to make you feel insecure. Many guys will put you down during the course of a conversation. There are many ways they do this. They can use back handed compliments, sarcasm, “accidental” pointing out of your insecurities, etc. The reason men will do this is because they want you to crave their approval. Once you crave their approval, they know that there is a good chance that you will want to get with them.

Gentlemen don’t have a need to do this. They don’t like to get involved in these sort of games because they can bring long-term problems to the relationship. Also, a gentleman is willing to put the work in to win you over, as opposed to try to manipulate you through your insecurities. [Read: 10 super sneaky tactics guy use to sleep with women]

#2 He doesn’t start fights. Guys who are more immature will often start fights in bars. They do this to demonstrate bravado, and act out emotions of frustration and sometimes anger. Their motives for these fights range from some guy giving them the wrong look to some guy eyeing the girl the non-gentleman has the hots for.

Gentlemen have less need to prove themselves, because they are often already confident enough about themselves to require beating someone in a fight. However, if they do feel the need to prove themselves, they will most likely do it in a way that does not involve risking serious injury or harming someone else. They can do this by being better at whatever it is they do or by making up for some insecurity by using humor, wit or a display of their talents. [Read: 7 real reasons why women still date horrible guys]

#3 He has good manners. It could be something as simple as holding the door for you on the way into a building. But, whatever the case may be, gentlemen try to behave in a well mannered and kind way. They open doors, they lend coats, they carry groceries. Even if you don’t feel the need for them to help you out, they will still make the offer. Gentlemen are often just willing to take that extra step to be courteous and respectful. [Read: Here’s the rule book modern gentlemen should be reading]

#4 He holds himself accountable for his actions. A man who is a real gentleman will not try to dodge responsibility for his actions. If he makes a mistake, he will own it and he will apologize. He will not try to convince you that it was somehow your fault, or try to manipulate you into thinking you read the situation wrong. He will simply accept that he has made an error, and he will quickly look to resolve the situation.

#5 He communicates his needs and feelings. Being able to communicate efficiently is a sign of maturity. A man who can let his guard down, and tell you how he is feeling or what’s bothering him is a man who is showing you that he is man enough. He is showing you that you can count on him to help solve problems, express himself, and be able to get through things without escalating the situation with immature responses.

#6 He genuinely listens to you. Men who are immature oftentimes don’t listen very well. Part of the reason is because they are constantly focusing on themselves and their own issues. A gentleman, however, will have resolved enough of his own issues, to the point where he can step outside himself, and be there to listen to you or to help you. This can be an extremely important component for a healthy relationship, and can help to make you feel very satisfied with your man. [Read: 25 qualities of a great boyfriend]

#7 He makes you feel good about yourself. This can be a more subtle example of what makes a man a gentleman, but if you find yourself having increased self esteem around this person, it could be a sign that he’s the real deal. Gentlemen will often find small ways to make you feel good about yourself. It could be as simple as giving you an effective compliment, or more complex, like giving you validation, helping you feel safe to be yourself or encouraging you to pursue what you want.

#8 He’s there when you need him. Sometimes, bad things happen in life. A sign of a true gentleman is that he is there to give you support during these times. Some men will simply disappear at the smallest sign of trouble – for example, if you get an injury, or are going through a difficult family problem. Gentlemen, however, will not just bolt the second something goes wrong.

#9 He doesn’t resort to violence. A true gentleman will never, ever hit a woman. Women, for the most part are physically weaker than men, and using this inequality of strength against them is something that a real gentleman would never do. A gentleman knows that conflicts can be resolved with words, and never with fists.

#10 He knows what love is. Many men avoid falling in love because they think it makes them weak and vulnerable. On the other hand, a gentleman accepts that he doesn’t always have complete control of his emotions. He may fall in love without even knowing it. If he feels love towards you, he acts on it, instead of leaving you guessing if he loves you or not. [Read: 5 giveaways of an emotionally unavailable man]

#11 He knows how to treat your friends. Even though he may not have a lot in common with your friends, he will still make the conscious effort to get to know them simply because they’re your friends. A real gentleman doesn’t sulk and complain when he’s in the company of your friends. Even if it’s not his crowd, he will accept that you want to spend time with him and your friends at the same time.

[Read: 11 signs you’ve got yourself a real keeper]

When you’re tired of dating all those bad boys, losers and emotionally unavailable men, you’ll find that dating a gentleman is a breath of fresh air. And when you do find that the guy you just happen to be dating exhibits all of these qualities, you’ve got yourself a keeper! Hold him tight, ladies!

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One thought on “11 Surefire Ways to Know You’re Dating a Real Gentleman”

  1. Emilia says:

    I wish more people would pay heed to #6…yes, partners can help one another grow, but if at least one of the parties enters a relationship with unresolved issues, they are asking for their relationship on the whole to be all the more rockier…

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