Good Guys vs. Bad Guys: 30 Traits Why Girls Date Nice Guys & Crave Bad Boys

If you’re in the dating scene, it can be confusing to figure out what women want! So, good guys vs. bad guys – who do you think is winning with the women?

good guys vs bad guys

Good guys vs. bad guys—who wins in the dating world?

There’s a serious misconception among guys that if a guy isn’t getting a girl, or if a girl leaves him for someone else, he’s a good guy who’s living in a bad, bad world.

But do you want to know the truth?

Bad guys don’t come out on top. And nice guys aren’t left in the dirt. There is so much more that goes into dating and getting lucky than just being a masculine type A or type B. So, so much more. Let’s get into it.

[Read: Nice guys finish last – the real reason why girls dislike a fake good guy]

Good guys vs. bad guys

Frankly, this is not a war between the good guys and the bad guys. It’s just an imaginative idea that’s been fed into the minds of the so-called nice guys who got walked over by a so-called nice girl.

First of all, for all the nice good guys who believe that girls find bad guys irresistible, well, we can put your fears to rest right away. Girls don’t find bad guys attractive.

Just as there are no special traits of good guys that make it easier for girls to walk all over them, bad boys don’t have any special powers that make girls go weak in the knees.

Really, who is a good guy, and who is a bad guy anyway? How would you define a nice guy? And how would you define a bad guy? Would it be along these lines? [Read: How to be a man – 25 traits to define manliness the way it should be]

1. A bad guy claims that all of his exes are “crazy” or in the wrong

If a guy says that all of his exes are “crazy,” that’s a serious red flag. All of these women have nothing in common with each other, except one thing: they dated him!

His bad guy behavior, e.g. his manipulative or hurtful actions, is what makes them “crazy.” [Read: 34 big relationship red flags most people completely ignore early on

2. A good guy makes a woman feel comfortable being herself around him

Good guys radiate security and safety because they do nothing but treat the people around them with genuine respect. There are no mind games, no manipulation tactics, and no ulterior motives. Without all of that, women can just let their guard down and breathe.

3. A bad guy is emotionally distant

No, he’s not cool and mysterious. He can’t be changed by the right girl, and he’s not just holding his strong and passionate feelings close to his chest. If he seems emotionally distant, he’s just a bad guy who isn’t interested in commitment or love.

He wants to keep playing the field and having light-hearted fun. The only way for a bad guy to be serious dating potential is for him to grow up and become a good guy. [Read: What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable? 19 signs and fixes]

4. A good guy makes women open up about anything

As we said, there’s no weirdness with a good guy. He doesn’t approach women with ulterior motives, he just talks to women out of genuine interest. Women are very receptive to that, so they feel comfortable talking to a good guy about anything.

They feel assured that he wouldn’t misuse or abuse that information, so they’re secure in revealing their most personal and vulnerable secrets.

5. A bad guy doesn’t go out of his way

It’s basically a guarantee that a bad guy has no one’s interests in mind but his own. Even if it’s something as simple as making a compromise or sugarcoating a harsh truth to spare someone’s feelings, he just won’t consider it.

6. A good guy makes women feel safe and secure

We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again, good guys are so nice to be around!

There’s no second-guessing that a good guy is genuine. When you’re around someone who’s just being themselves, it makes you feel safe and secure. That’s the effect of being around good guys. [Read: How to be a man – 25 traits to define manliness the way it should be]

7. A bad guy generally hasn’t grown up yet

Being an adult means knowing how to take care of yourself and how to balance many responsibilities, including other people.

But bad guys only have their own interests in mind. That means that they’re typically a bit… Juvenile. They don’t have the best emotional intelligence and they don’t want to be burdened by responsibilities.

That doesn’t mean that they’re childlike. But still, their bedroom floor might be a bit messy!

8. A good guy is loved by friends and family

When women introduce a nice guy to their loved ones, he’s immediately loved and adored by everyone. [Read: 18 signs it’s time and ways to prepare your partner to meet the parents]

When it comes to his interests or his conversational skills, they don’t really matter. What makes a woman’s close circle approve of and love a guy is how he treats her. If he treats her well, with respect, and makes her happy, he’s instantly got everyone’s approval.

9. A bad guy is a bragger

If a guy takes up a first date with stories about his brilliance, his fantastic achievements, and overall what a brilliant guy he is, he’s usually a bad guy.

Since his interests are all he cares about, he is also all he cares about. He doesn’t care about other people’s interests, so he typically won’t ask other people questions about themselves. Simple as. [Read: Confident or cocky? 16 subtle signs that split an arrogant and modest man]

10. A good guy knows how to make women feel beautiful

And he knows why it’s so important to compliment a woman and really mean it.

He’s a gentleman through and through, and so he makes sure to make the women in his life feel as beautiful as he thinks they are. [Read: 53 flirty things to say to a girl to compliment her and make her blush]

11. A bad guy doesn’t do traditional dates

A bad guy won’t ask a girl out on a date, he’ll ask her to “hang out.” And he won’t take her on a romantic dinner or bring her flowers. He’ll invite her to his apartment for “Netflix and chill,” and the only thing he might give her is a nasty infection!

12. A good guy has her back

As it turns out, when you’re not out for your own selfish gain, your relationships can be very healthy and fulfilling! When a good guy has a woman in his life, he does his dang best to do right by her.

He has her back, he stands up for her, and he supports her through everything. There’s no hot-or-cold behavior, no one foot in, one foot out. When a good guy is in, he’s fully in.

13. A bad boy is vain

Well, you can’t brag about yourself and look out for “number one” without being just a tiny bit vain!

Bad guys are known for their arrogant confidence. The reason they’re able to approach any girl at a bar with full confidence that they’ll be able to take her home is that they think they’re the shit. But looking so good doesn’t happen naturally.

They go to the gym often, get regular haircuts, and spend a surprising amount of time looking in the mirror.

14. A good guy doesn’t mind if she plays hard to get

She can play as hard to get as she wants, it won’t phase him because he knows that he’s not going anywhere. He knows that this is only her putting up her defenses to protect her from getting hurt.

So, he’ll let her play hard to get for as long as she needs to. And when she realizes that he’s a good guy, he’s true to his word, and he’s serious about treating her right, she’ll stop playing.

And he’ll be right there with open arms, welcoming her vulnerability. [Read: The 41 best qualities of a good man that sets him apart from lesser men]

15. A bad guy will only call her late at night

We all know what late-night calls mean. It means that he’s looking for a booty call and nothing else.

16. A good guy makes her his priority

The difference between a good guy and a bad guy is this: while a bad guy will only call a girl late at night, a good guy will call her at any hour of the day.

Even if he’s busy, he will make time to call his special interest just to check in and see how her day is going. And maybe even just to hear her voice.

17. A bad guy’s no.1 phrase is “send pics?”

Texting is incredible. It allows us to talk to and get to know people at any time of the day, regardless of where we are and what we’re doing. But bad guys take this brilliant thing and absolutely ruin it.

They don’t text girls to get to know them and form a deeper connection, they text girls to swap nudes and get off. [Read: Dirty Snapchats – how to stay safe while sharing your sexy pics]


18. A good guy will talk about the future

Good guys aren’t just out for sexy pics and a hump-and-dump. He’s about commitment, deep emotional connections, and finding the one to build the rest of his life with.

So, he’s not intimidated about talking about the future. Some guys might shy away from conversations about meeting the family, moving in together, and even if a wedding might be in the future – but not a good guy.

He not only wants to be open and honest about his intentions, but he doesn’t want to waste anyone’s time if he meets a woman with different goals in mind. [Read: How to find your soulmate – 35 real ways to find your one true love]

19. A bad guy will have women on rotation

Do you know those novelty knickers that have the day of the week on the waistband? Bad guys have the same equivalent.

A Monday girl, a Tuesday girl, and the new girl he started dating is his new Wednesday girl.

However you put it, it makes no difference to a girl because the kind of guy that girls like and desire have traits that could be seen in a good or a bad guy. [Read: Prince Charming traits that make all girls swoon instantly!]

Why girls want a bad guy but need a good guy

The old saying that “nice guys always finish last” isn’t true, but there is some truth that bad guys get more women than good guys.

Is it because bad guys are on the lookout for women more often? Yes, that does play into it. But there is an appeal to bad guys that women are attracted to.

But they don’t need a bad guy, they need a good guy. Here’s why:

1. Bad guys add drama to their lives, good guys know when to curb drama

Listen, it sounds backward, but it’s true. When women are young and dating, part of them wants the drama of a bad guy. [Read: 46 manly & toxic traits women love & despise in men]

Complaining to their friends about what a jerk he is, sitting by the phone waiting for a text back, going back and forth between hating him and wanting him… Well, it certainly breaks up the monotony of daily life.

But that’s not the man you settle down with, and women know that. When women are done with the dating scene and have worked on the parts of themselves that they needed to work on, they go and find a good guy and leave the bad guys in the past.

2. Bad guys take them on adventures, good guys keep them safe

Bad guys are like motorbikes and good guys are like seatbelts. A bad guy will take a woman for a ride, with very little regard for her health and safety, while a good guy’s purpose is to protect her.

Every woman needs a seatbelt to look out for her. But damn, the motorbike is so much fun. [Read: Boyfriend material – a girl’s guide to evaluate guys and 42 things he MUST do]

3. Bad guys are great at sex, good guys are great at making love

If you talk to any woman who’s been in bed with a bad guy, she will tell you that yes, the guy’s a jerk, but he certainly knew what to do in the sack. That’s the one redeeming quality of a bad guy—he’ll give anyone a night to remember.

But his skills only come from practice. It’s because of his bad guy, womanizer ways that he even knows what he’s doing in that department. And the real kicker? Although he may have the experience under his belt, he’s not going to be much of a giver. Again tying into the self-obsessed traits, a bad guy doesn’t really care about his partner’s needs so long as his are met.

Good guys couldn’t be more different. Their technical skills might not be as refined or polished as a bad guy, but what they lack in the know-how department, they make up for in the emotional department.

For good guys, sex is so much more than just physically getting off, it’s a truly beautiful experience where two loving people join souls in the most intimate way.

If you choose one person to have a long-term sexual relationship with, you’re choosing a good guy. [Read: Married sex – 38 sex ideas and naughty tips to spice it up and stay passionate]

4. Bad guys will make you take risks, good guys know when the risks aren’t worth the rewards

Adventurous, risk-taking, gambling, dangerous—these are all ways you might describe a bad guy. And while women find these traits exciting, they by no means make a good, stable boyfriend.

Bad guys just aren’t stable enough to build a life with. They blindly take risks, make ill-informed gambles, and do whatever it takes to meet their needs.

Although going for a ride with a bad guy will be exciting for a short while, after some time it’ll just be draining. He won’t be able to take care of his partner’s emotional needs, he won’t be dependable, and he won’t be able to avoid hurting them.

That’s why although dating a bad guy might be exciting, girls really need to settle down with a good guy. He’s reasonable, responsible, and dependable. He knows how to have fun, but he knows when it’s going too far and when it’s time to slow down.

5. Bad guys make great friends, good guys make great partners

We probably sound like we’ve been quite harsh on bad guys up until now, but they are actually great friends to keep! Their penchant for fun makes them a laugh to hang out with. After a long, stressful work week, there’s no better friend to help you wind down and have fun than a bad guy.

And while the old saying says that you should marry your best friend, your partner should be your, well, partner first and your best friend second.

That’s why the fun-loving, pleasure-seeking, responsibility-avoidant bad guy just doesn’t make a good life partner. The good guy, however, does everything he can to be the best partner for his lover.

6. Bad guys are a huge flight risk, good guys are loyal to the end

There’s no denying that any girl who is dating a bad guy is nothing short of a nervous wreck at least a few days out of a month. That’s because a bad guy can’t be trusted to stay around. They blow hot and cold all the time, one minute saying wonderful, romantic things, and the next ghosting for no reason at all.

One minute, they’re all about one girl, and the next their wandering eye has caught the next girl to be marked on his bed notch.

That’s not a good guy. When he makes a commitment, he sticks to it. No matter how hard the going gets, he is there. [Read: Committed relationship – 59 signs and ways to show your commitment in love]

His girl will never be staring at her phone, watching her boyfriend post on his story while ignoring her texts, and wondering if that girl in the background of his pictures is someone she should be worried about. Instead, she’ll likely be staring at a long wall of adoring texts while she waits for him to show up at her door—on time as well!

What kind of guys do girls like? The traits that matter

So, in the good guys vs. bad guys debate, who comes out on top? Bad guys have an easier time attracting women, but good guys are better at finding love. Either way, one side is lacking something that the other has.

But what if we told you that you can have your cake and eat it too? How? By embodying the best traits of both bad guys and good guys! Here’s how you can do that:

1. Talk to more girls

The more girls you talk to or flirt with, the easier it will be! If you’re a good guy, you take romance and talking to girls very seriously. That can put pressure on you, making you more nervous and ultimately more likely to fail.

Bad guys are so good at talking to women because they do it all the time! So, take a page from the bad guy book and start approaching girls more often. The first few times might be awkward, embarrassing, and just big fails, but over time your confidence will build.

And trust us, women love confidence. [Read: How to talk to a girl – 20 secrets that’ll make you irresistible to women]

2. Be confident

We know, it’s so much easier to talk about confidence than it is to actually be confident. Especially if you’re not a naturally-confident person.

But confidence really is an attractive quality. When women see a confident man, they see someone who is self-assured and capable of taking care of others.

So, if you’re struggling to find love, the key might be in building up your confidence. Start small by talking to more girls as we said, and over time the confidence will come to you. Just fake it till you make it!

3. Don’t be dominated

No, we’re not talking about domination with some weird wolf metaphor! But it is true that men who are walked all over and disrespected don’t know how to stand up for themselves.

And when you don’t stand up for yourself, you tell the world that you aren’t confident in who you are, you aren’t aware of your worth or what you deserve, and you don’t love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you don’t have enough love to give to someone else.

So, stand up for yourself! If someone is treating you disrespectfully, tell them that what they’re doing is wrong and, if need be, cut them out. When you surround yourself with good people, you’ll attract more good people. Maybe even the love of your life. [Read: 17 confident ways to be more assertive & speak your mind loud and clear]

4. Don’t be overly negative

Life gets you down sometimes, we get that. But being constantly pessimistic and overly negative 24/7 is just not appealing. No one wants to spend time with a Negative Nancy.

Sure, when you’re having a bad day, share how you feel. But once you’re done, move on with your day. Find the good and focus on them.

And, we can’t stress this enough, don’t complain about your dating luck! You might be frustrated that women don’t give you a chance, but if all you do is complain about that, guess what? No woman will want to give you a chance! [Read: 30 traits and things women look for in a man that make a guy totally irresistible]

5. Take care of your health

Taking care of your health is actually a great way to embody the traits of both a good guy and a bad guy!

First, eating a good and balanced diet and exercising are great ways to show how responsible you are. You’re eating food to nourish your body and exercising to take care of that general health. You’re taking care of yourself, and women will see that as a sign that you can take care of them as long-term partners.

Secondly, as a by-product of eating well and working out, you’ll start looking like a bad guy. That’s definitely a bonus!

[Read: Easy ways to subtly build the sexual tension even if she’s just a friend]

So the next time you wonder why girls like bad guys or dislike good guys, try to understand the real truth. Girls don’t want nice guys or bad guys, they just want a great guy!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...