Guys and girls may be from Mars and Venus.
But learning how to keep a conversation going between the sexes can help you bridge that divide without any hiccups.
[Read: 25 topics to talk about in a happy relationship]
For most of us, the first few minutes of a new conversation is the absolute worst.
It’s awkward and uneasy, and almost a toe curling nightmare.
But as annoying as those first few minutes are, it is those very few minutes that will turn out to be the biggest judge of your conversation skills.
After all, first impressions are made of first conversations.
[Read: 15 easy conversations starters with a guy you like]
[Read: Things to say to a girl to impress her in the first conversation]
How to keep a conversation going effortlessly
It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to impress your new find on a first date, or woo someone in a first conversation.
The most important thing to remember is to avoid the awkwardness from seeping into the conversation.
If your new friend feels awkward, chances are, they’d want to slip away from you as soon as possible or they’d be praying for you to leave them alone.
And you really can’t get someone’s attention if all they’re doing is focusing on getting away instead of staying back and enjoying a conversation with you, can you?
How to make the first few minutes work in your favor
Awkwardness always finds a way to crawl into a first conversation within the first few minutes. If you can ensure that your first few minutes with someone you like is exciting and fun, they’d probably look forward to sticking around you the whole evening. [Read: How to talk to a guy and make him like you]
Keep a few conversation makers in mind, depending on where you are. The location and the reason for the gathering are always great conversation starters, be it a cocktail party hosted by your friend or a Friday night get-together after work. And from there on, all you need to do is keep the conversation going…
How to keep a conversation going in 3 steps
To keep a conversation going, there are just 3 things you need to keep in mind. Once you’re past the hellos and the pleasantries, use these three tips to stretch the happy conversation.
#1 Open ended questions. If you’re interested in prolonging the conversation, always ask open ended questions. Answer any question you’re asked with another question so your new friend can respond to you with their own views.
#2 Use their answers to create more questions. If the person you’re talking to says they like something, use their answer to create more questions to find out more about their interests. With each new question you ask, you’d be able to see several other questions that can help you know more about this person, and at the same time, make them feel more involved. [Read: 6 secret words to prolong any conversation easily]
#3 Compliments. “I’m glad I met you here, or this place would be such a bore.” Saying something nice will help the person to warm up better to you. A compliment or two is a pleasant break from the typical conversation of questions and answers.
On a cautionary note, compliment the person you’re talking to only when both of you have been talking for at least a few minutes. Saying it too soon can seem creepy and desperate. But if they say something they’re proud of, like “I just got promoted” or “I helped organize this party”, make sure you use the circumstance to compliment them about it. [Read: 10 ways to flirt with a guy without really flirting at all]
5 perfect conversation makers for enjoyable conversations
Conversations have to be fun and interesting. And conversations get interesting only when the two people conversing have things in common. After you’re done with the introductions, you need to try and build the connection so your new friend feels like they have something in common with you.
Here are 5 things you can talk about that will definitely help find common ground between both of you.
#1 The place. The place both of you met is a perfect way to get to know each other without getting personal too soon. Talk about where you are, and about things you see all around you.
#2 Work. Work is rather impersonal and a good conversation topic to talk about in the first few minutes. If you know something about their line of work, seem interested in it and ask a few curious questions or talk about what you do professionally.
#3 Beyond work. Everyone indulges in a few activities beyond work, be it hobbies or watching movies on weekends. As you talk about work, try to involve other activities into your questions by saying something like “your work seems rather hectic, you must be doing something to blow off steam during the weekends…”
A good conversationalist always tries to merge one conversation topic into another without going off in a tangent, bouncing from one different topic to another. Whatever you ask, find a way to incorporate the question to an answer the person gives. [Read: 20 ways to perfect your conversation when you’re on a date]
#4 Talk about the common factor. There must be something in common between both of you, and that’s always a great way to break the ice or go into something more personal. Talk about the friend that introduced both of you, the host of the gathering, or an activity both of you share.
#5 An incident you experienced a few minutes ago. Funny incidents or stories are always great icebreakers to have a laugh. Did you experience anything funny, like spilling a drink or tasting something that was revolting a few minutes ago? If you want to make someone feel comfortable and like you, you need to make them laugh at the opportune moment. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]
8 things to remember during your first conversation
A conversation doesn’t start and end with the words you choose to use. A lot more depends on your personality and the way you behave around this new friend you’re talking to. If you want to keep a conversation going without any awkwardness in the air, keep these 8 things in mind, and you’ll have a much better chance of impressing the hottie you’re talking to.
#1 Appear comfortable. If you feel uncomfortable or awkward, the person you’re talking to will immediately sense the discomfort you’re feeling. And that would only make both of you feel more awkward. Relax, using these tips here, you’d already know everything about what you need to talk. There’s no need to feel stressed by the conversation. You know what you need to say, don’t you?
#2 Look around now and then. In between your conversation, every now and then, don’t say anything for a couple of seconds. Just look around for a second or two, and then continue the conversation. Adding a few seconds of quiet time now and then initially will help the person you’re talking to feel more comfortable, even in silence.
But if you see their eyes light up with excitement, don’t stop talking. They love your company already! [Read: 20 signs of attraction in the first conversation]
#3 Smile. Be warm when you talk to someone, especially if you’re trying to impress them. Smiling can do two things, let them know you like their company, and secondly, it’ll help them feel more relaxed around you.
#4 But don’t just smile! Smiling and looking around without saying anything makes everything seem much more awkward. If you smile, make sure you say something to continue the conversation.
#5 Don’t fidget. If you want to overcome the awkwardness, stop fidgeting. If you start fidgeting or looking around because you don’t know what to say, you’d end up fidgeting a lot more in your effort to cover your awkwardness. Stand or sit down calmly, and just look around to find a new inspiration to talk about. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs for all girls]
#6 Be interested. Seem genuinely interested when you’re talking to someone you’ve just met. And try your best to look focused and avoid appearing distracted. Distraction is an annoying insult to someone who’s taking time to answer you or have a conversation with you.
#7 Stop judging yourself. It’s completely acceptable to say something silly or stupid now and then. Stop holding yourself back in the fear of saying something that you think will be judged. People are forgiving and likeable if you seem like a relaxed person, so just laugh your slipups off and no one will care!
#8 Don’t be overeager. Don’t be an eager beaver who’s waiting to please. Don’t talk about meeting up again sometime or try making plans to catch up for a movie. You’ll just end up sounding like a clingy leech. If you’ve had a nice time and have to say goodbye, say something like “we should catch up sometime again” or “I had a wonderful time talking to you, I’d love to see you again sometime…” [Read: 10 things girls should never say to guys ever!]
Giving up and second chances
Even the best of conversationalists have to deal with grumpy company now and then. If someone’s clearly not interested in talking, don’t blame yourself for it *unless you’re a bore who’s not following these conversation tips!*
If someone excuses themselves after a few minutes, don’t force them to continue the conversation. If you really like them and want to know them better, you could always *accidentally* bump into them when they’re alone and bored or if they have to walk past you later in the evening.
All you have to do is look towards them and smile, or just raise the hand holding a drink ever so slightly. If they’re interested in talking to you, they’d walk up to you and in all probability, they may even be happy to talk to you this time around. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]
Dealing with bad conversationalists
Are you the only one constantly asking questions or making conversation? Do you really like this person so much that you’re willing to throw yourself off a bridge to continue the conversation?
Here are 3 bad conversationalists and different ways to deal with it.
#1 They’re not interested. If someone isn’t interested in talking to you, or is answering only with monosyllabic answers like yes or no, then let them go. You’d only piss them off and make them hate you if you try to force them into a conversation.
#2 Rude or cold behavior. Some people get rude or prefer to behave in a cold way to cover their own awkwardness. If you’re talking to someone who isn’t getting away from you, nor are they trying to converse with you, they’re probably the ones who aren’t confident about their own conversation skills. Be warm and friendly, and try to get them to feel more relaxed before you give up on them.
#3 The scared conversationalist. Almost all people are intimidated and awed by smooth talkers. A few guys and girls take time to open up, especially if you’re an extremely smooth and confident conversationalist. If the person you’re talking to doesn’t open up quickly, take it slow.
Pause for a few seconds every now and then before asking a question. By doing that, let them believe that you’re no smooth talker either. It’ll take the pressure off them and give them more confidence to ask you questions in return. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile and like you instantly]
Ending a conversation the right way
No matter how the conversation goes, end the conversation warmly. Even if you couldn’t get someone to fall for you, you at least have a new acquaintance or a friend. Perhaps, if you ever do bump into this person somewhere else, you can still say hello and start all over again.
But if it all works out and the person you’re talking to has fun talking to you, make sure you find a way to keep in touch, or plan something more personal and cozy for a second date!
[Read: The 10 types of love you’ll definitely experience in your lifetime!]
Keep these tips on how to keep a conversation going in mind, and you’d surely have no difficulty in impressing anyone you meet, and having a great time too!
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