It’s tough when you feel a little lonely or a little down on yourself. If you feel shy, vulnerable, or insecure then getting out there and meeting new people can be difficult. In that case, learning how to get someone to like you helps the process along.
Perhaps, people have told you in the past that you don’t come across all that well. In that case, it will be difficult for people to get to know you and like you if you’re not able to be your full self. Don’t worry, however, this is something which many people struggle with.
Learning to relax in social settings takes practice, but it will come to you in the end! [Read: How to meet new people – 16 exciting ways to find a new crowd]
You don’t have to be chronically shy for social anxiety to be a problem. Even confident people struggle in crowds from time to time, or with people they’ve just met. At the end of the day, we all want to be liked and when you’re having to effectively prove to someone that you’re a wonderful human, the pressure can cause you to act out of character.
Social anxiety basically means that you struggle in social situations. That can be all the time or just some of the time. Some people are affected by this problem to a huge degree, and it can be crippling. However, others are simply triggered in specific situations that are personal to them.
If you struggle with severe social anxiety, seeking professional help is a good option. However, if you only find it problematic from time to time, forcing yourself out of your comfort zone in small steps can be a good way out of it.
When learning how to get someone to like you, it’s about showing who you are. If you’re struggling to do that because you’re crippled with social anxiety, you’re going to fall short. [Read: Social anxiety vs shyness: How to decipher what you feel inside]
Whatever the reason, often, it feels like the more you want someone to like you, the more you end up messing it up. Either you get too shy, tongue-tied and come across like a stuttering fool, or you don’t know how to approach them. So, you seem standoffish and disinterested.
Worse still, you just try that bit too hard and appear desperate or say all the wrong things.
On the inside, you know you’re pretty great. You are certain people would like you if they got to know the real you. With that in mind, this list of how to make someone like you includes some methods to help you calm those nerves and just be yourself. [Read: Social anxiety to social butterfly – How to be less awkward]
Smiling goes a long way when it comes to making people like you. If you always have a smile on your face and look happy, you are more likely to attract people. Looking sullen and miserable naturally does the exact opposite.
When learning how to get someone to like you, make sure you show them your smile often – but not too often! [Read: 20 ways to focus on the positives in life]
Whether it’s about friendship or something more, making people laugh proves time and time again to be one of the most powerful ways to make people want to be around you. If you have a sharp wit or a good sense of humor, then use it.
Being funny really does go a long way. [Read: 20 signs you’ve mastered the dry funny bone]
People love to talk about themselves and like to feel that what they say is worth something. By asking questions, you show you’re interested in that person and want to get to know them better.
Don’t just do it for its own sake—really listen to their answers too. Remember not to fire question after question at them, however.
Of course, ensure your conversations are a two-way street. Talking about interesting topics of conversation makes people want to spend more time with you. If you don’t have much to say for yourself, it’s pretty hard for a relationship to develop. [Read: Try these 25 great conversation starters]
Be open and friendly with your body language. Show confidence by walking tall, turn your body and feet toward them when you talk to them, and remember to show those pearly whites!
You should never feel as though you are at someone’s beck and call, but being helpful and looking after other people makes them warm to you and appreciate you more. [Read: How to develop empathy and master the art of growing a real heart]
Of course, it is difficult to strike up a friendship with someone when you have nothing in common. Try to find out what they do for fun, their musical tastes and hobbies, and see if they match your own.
If they don’t, are you sure you want to be friends with this person in the first place?
An adventurous and daring person naturally attracts other people. Be brave, try new things, and you’ll live a much more fulfilling and exciting life.
As a bonus, you have more to say for yourself too. [Read: The 32 crazy things you need to do with your friends]
Having confidence also goes a long way. It can be difficult to notice or get to know people who always put themselves in the corner.
Try to command attention and confidence when you engage other people. It really makes all the difference. It’s easy to say ‘just be confident,’ but sometimes you need to fake it and wait for the genuine stuff to come your way.
Kindness is hugely attractive to others, so make sure you show your kind and caring side. As a result, people will naturally want to be around you.
Looking popular makes you appear more likable to potential new buddies. Try to always surround yourself with people. Soon they’ll want to be one of those people too! [Read: Good friends are like stars – 18 ways to build lasting friendships]
Getting angry and having a short temper makes people feel nervous and intimidated. If you are prone to fly off the handle at the smallest thing, get those feelings under control pronto!
Honesty is a highly valued character trait, so the more honest you are and the more integrity you have, the more people are likely to want to be friends with you. [Read: The 20 dos and don’ts of true attractiveness]
There is nothing more irritating than someone else’s opinions forced down your throat. Allow people to express their own opinions and ideas, even if you think they are wrong.
If you want someone to like you, invest in your relationship with them. Make sure you make time for them, and they will appreciate it. [Read: How to be a good person: 10 Small changes to transform your world]
No one likes someone who comes across as super fake, so make sure you are genuine. Otherwise, they see right through you.
Everyone likes a compliment and can’t help but like those who give them. But remember not to go overboard, or you just come across as trying too hard. [Read: 14 steps to unfake your life and love being you]
Remember, good hygiene and making a bit of an effort with your appearance also helps in your quest of how to make someone like you.
If you want other people to respect you, first respect yourself. If you are constantly self-deprecating and putting yourself in degrading situations, it will be difficult for people to respect and like you. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]
If someone feels suffocated by you, they’ll likely push away. Make sure you don’t overwhelm the person you want to like you. Give them space and allow them room to breathe.
Jealousy is really unattractive. You might want that person to be your best friend and spend all their time with you, but if you get jealous when they so much as look as someone else, you’ll put them off wanting to be around you. [Read: How to tame your green jealousy monster]
Generous people tend to be more well-liked. You don’t have to shower them with gifts, but making an effort to show your generosity from time to time earns you brownie points.
Remembering birthdays, other memorable dates, and just retaining the information they told you helps them see how much you care.
Make sure you don’t dumb yourself down or degrade yourself for anyone. Being intelligent and interesting is way more attractive. [Read: How to win over the intellectual badass]
Of course, remember to have fun. People who look like they have fun and enjoy life are naturally way more likable than those that aren’t.
Believe it or not, manners count for a huge amount even in today’s society. Make sure you always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ if you want people to respect and like you. [Read: 25 tips to look cute and melt anyone’s heart]
If you want to be liked by someone you have a crush on, don’t try flirting with them immediately. When you hit on them, you treat them disrespectfully and as though you don’t think they’re worthy of an intelligent conversation.
How a conversation between two people goes completely depends on the way both of you feel in each other’s presence. When you meet someone new, feel excited and happy instead of feeling nervous or awkward.
You’ll subconsciously pass on your happy vibes to your new friend, which will in turn make them feel more relaxed and happy around you. [Read: The easiest ways to avoid awkward silences during a date]
Charm is an essential part of being likeable and interesting. When you’re charming, people always have fun around you. Have a positive attitude and try to make the other person smile or laugh. [Read: How to be charming and liked by everyone]
Nobody likes someone who is totally insensitive to another person’s feelings and experiences. When you’re talking to someone, show your empathy by putting yourself in their shoes.
If there’s nothing at all for you to talk about and your new friend isn’t talking either, excuse yourself with a reason and come back later. But use that line only as a last resort.
Staying quiet for a minute is not a bad thing when you’re having a conversation as long as you’re not feeling nervous. When you run out of things to talk about, just talk about the place you’re in or about the common friend you both share. It’ll give you a few new pointers to use to keep the conversation going. [Read: How to not be awkward – A guide for the quirky ones]
Being yourself works only if you’re a happy and popular person already. Unless you’ve reached the point where you can charm anyone you want or impress anyone you’re talking to, try to be a better ‘you’ instead of just being yourself.
Most people would tell you to be yourself. But seriously, if that would work, every single obnoxious person in the world would be the most popular conversationalist. Don’t change who you are. Just work on the little flaws by watching others, and becoming a better person yourself. [Read: How to become a better person using a role model]
This may sound sexist, but it’s thousands of years of evolution speaking. If you’re the guy, take control of the situation and make the girl feel protected and cared for around you. If you’re the girl, make the guy you’re talking to feel like he’s in control of the situation.
Men like it when they can hold the reins in the conversation, and women appreciate a man who makes them feel protected.
When you’re having a conversation with each other, show off your best sides and use each other’s evolutionary traits to your advantage. [Read: Why good men love damsels in distress]
Awe your conversation mate with your behavior around others. People subconsciously notice the way you interact with others to evaluate you as a person. When you’re likable and friendly with others, they like you better and drop their guard more easily.
But if you come off as arrogant or aloof when you’re interacting with someone else, the person you’re having a conversation with will want to end the conversation with you as soon as possible. [Read: How to show respect in a relationship and love each other better]
Always remember that you should be yourself regardless of how you feel. If you try to be someone you’re not, they’re going to see straight through you. However, if you relax, allow your natural personality to shine through, and remember to smile, you’ll come across so much better.
The biggest reason people clam up and feel awkward in social situations is because they aren’t themselves. However, we did mention that you should be a better version of you. Don’t confuse that with changing yourself – it just means playing to your strengths. [Read: How to be yourself: 14 Steps to unfake your life & love being you]
Of course, it’s always important to bear in mind that you can’t please everyone, or certain circumstances might just make it impossible for the two of you to actually become friends. If that is the case, don’t despair.
Accept that you can’t be friends/lovers with everyone. If they can’t see how amazing you are, it’s their loss!
[Read: How to be charismatic and draw people to you]
So, there you have it. By using these tips for how to make someone like you, you’ll help yourself and other people get to know you better.
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