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30 Questions for Couples to Keep the Spark Alive

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Want to truly understand your partner better than ever? Use these 30 questions for couples to read your partner’s mind and keep the spark alive. By Amelie Lee

questions for couples

A perfect relationship never stagnates.

It just finds new ways to better itself.

For most lovers who have been in a relationship for a while, conversations start to die or get repetitive.

And even spending an evening together can start to feel like an effort.

Do you sometimes call your friends over because you think you’d be bored with your own lover?

Well, then you need to make things more exciting.

The perfect questions for all couples

Before we go any further here, you need to ask yourself a question.

What relationship stage are you in right now?

If you’re still less than a few months old, go on and use these 60 get-to-know-you questions to know more about your partner and your new romance.

And if you’re past a few months and know each other pretty well, read these 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility.

But if you’re past the stage of wild infatuation and have been dating for a few years, these questions are just for you.

The right questions for seasoned relationships

You may think you know everything about your partner once you’ve been dating for a few years.

But almost always, what I’ve seen is that partners actually believe they know each other, but in reality, they just don’t know their partner. They just assume they do.

A perfect relationship is like an onion *cliché, I know!* But no partner will ever reveal themselves completely, and no relationship starts off with pure truth. A new relationship is always filled with a few white lies and many secrets. But as a relationships starts to grow, both partners start to feel secure with each other, and the secrets start to come out in the open. [Read: 9 relationship stages all couples go through]

But if you don’t help your partner feel more secure, you’d just end up living a lie because there may be many secrets that you still don’t know.

If you don’t know how to get your partner to open up, or how you can have the perfect relationship, use these 30 questions for couples.

These questions will help your partner open up and reveal more to you, just as long as you share your truthful answers with your partner too.

30 questions for couples to keep the spark alive

To truly experience the perfect relationship, you need to make each other feel comfortable, and you need to learn to think from your partner’s perspective. And at times, the best ways to find out your partner’s perspective is by asking all the right questions.

If your partner doesn’t open up at first, ask your partner to question you first, hear your answer and then answer.

Use these 30 questions with your partner, and you’ll definitely help them open up to you, just as long as you remember to have a laugh, pull your lover’s leg and let them know that you’re completely fine with all their answers. [Read: What is pillow talk and how can you make it better?]

There are no *no* answers here. Your partner has to say something, anything!

#1 What’s the one secret you’ve been too embarrassed to tell me?

#2 Does it bother you if I look at another person and say he/she is sexy?

#3 Have you ever snooped on me behind my back?

#4 If there’s one thing you’d want to change about me, what is it?

#5 If we hadn’t met each other, where would you be right now?

#6 When was the last time you grazed against a sexy someone’s body accidentally?

#7 How would you describe love?

#8 Tell me five instances where you think we’ve had the most amazing sex. [Read: 7 sexiest types of sex you can ever have]

#9 Reveal a sex confession you haven’t told me yet. It doesn’t matter if it’s a weak confession. [Read: Sexy real life public flashing confessions]

#10 What if I told you I was bisexual?

#11 What would you think if you caught me watching porn? Would you get turned on?

#12 What was on your mind the last time we were having sex? [Read: How to fantasize about someone else in bed]

#13 The average duration of sex for most couples is around ten minutes. How long do you think we last?

#14 The average frequency of sex for couples is about eight times a month. How many times a month do you feel is ideal?

#15 Of all the things you do to me sexually, what do you think turns me on the most? [Read: 15 ways to turn a girl on and excite her mind]

#16 What’s the most erotic thing a guy and a girl can do together?

#17 What’s the most recent awkward moment you experienced that I don’t know about?

#18 Tell me a sexual fantasy you like, one you haven’t told me yet.

#19 Do you think you can read my mind, what am I thinking right now?

#20 Have you every indulged in PDA with me in front of someone else just to make them jealous? [Read: 10 public display of affection rules you always need to follow]

#21 What’s one manipulative behavior of mine which pisses you off?

#22 If you had to give me a funny nickname based on my personality or some part of me, what would it be?

#23 Right now, what would you like, mind-blowing sex or a cuddle in a hammock to watch the stars?

#24 If we were at a nude beach together, would you get naked and flash at someone, or would you want me to get completely naked?

#25 Have you ever wanted to buy a sex toy, but hesitated?

#26 Celebs or friends, name one person you would want to sleep with if you were single *other than me, of course*?

#27 If I called you a horny pervert, how would you confront my accusation?

#28 Why do you think some couples end up cheating on each other?

#29 How could we make our sex life more exciting? [Read: Top 50 kinky ideas for a really sexy relationship]

#30 If you caught me in a room with an attractive person, and I tell you that nothing’s going on, would you believe me? [Read: The right way to build trust in a relationship]

These 30 questions for couples may seem funny, or even a bit of a tease. But each of these questions will reveal a trait about your partner. It may be about their sexual interests or their views about cheating or insecurity, or many other things that matter in a relationship. And a few other questions can help both of you understand each other’s expectations in the relationship. [Read: Is flirting with someone else cheating when you're in a relationship?]

Try to have a light hearted conversation and ask each other these questions, and don’t take offence no matter what. At the end of the day, your partner is opening up to you only because they feel secure. By getting angry or annoyed at any point, you’re only going to make your partner hide deeper in their emotional shell.

[Read: 12 tips to be a happy couple and make all other couples jealous]

Use these 30 questions for couples to get to know each other a lot better, and help your partner understand your wants and interests. It’ll definitely work its magic and bring the spark alive in your relationship.


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Have your say!
  • Bhaskar Thapar
    August 6, 2014 | Permalink |

    Question 26 says:

    #26 Celebs or friends, name one person you would want to sleep with if you were single *other than me, of course*?

    I strongly suggest that this be removed and replaced. I will admit to not thinking through first, but this question brought me dire consequences I may not be able to reverse. My relationship with my love was kind of on the rocks, I really wanted to bring back the spark and reignite the excitement in our relationship. So I came across this website and found this article, it looked very interesting and after reading I decided to try one question, number 26.
    If only I had thought it through. Yes you may be critical of me because I didn’t think before I acted, but nonetheless I feel I must get my point through

    The dire consequences you may ask? The lost love…my love doesn’t see me the way she used to anymore, she feels like she doesn’t know me. Actually, she feels like she hasn’t known me all along now, in the beautiful year that we have been together. She has had past experiences where she did not respond towards certain signs in her relationships, I with my pure intentions was a different type of person who became so much to her. And after asking this question, hoping it could lead onto bringing back the spark in a relationship between two people who really wanted to be with each other, I hurt the one person dearest to me.

    I strongly believe this question may bring about similar consequences in another soul hoping that maybe it can help his or her fading relationship.

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