Home  >  My Life  >  Relationships

The Rise of the Fake Lesbian: Cool Cliché or an Annoying Insult?

Is being gay in fashion? We’re noticing more and more fake lesbian singers, actors, and models. But, isn’t this insulting to true lesbians?

Fake Lesbian

Everyone wants to be fashionable. Everyone wants to fit in, but is changing your sexuality, like a fake lesbian, even if intended as an act, really the way to go about it?

It seems that at the moment, being gay is having a fashionable moment. We’re told that men want to see lesbian couples in films.

We see more sexually provocative music videos featuring two women in compromising positions. There is an increase in the number of celebrity couples who are both female, adorning the front covers of the biggest fashion magazines and tabloid newspapers.

But, ask yourself a very important question—how many of these women are truly gay. How many of them are covering the fake lesbian ground? [Read: How to know if you are gay – all the signs you can’t ignore]

Is being a fake lesbian all just a game?

Even in this day and age, when we’re far more tolerant of different sexualities than ever before, being lesbian in particular is seen as a sexy taboo. This is normally because most men will admit to finding the idea of two women together quite sexy. That’s not all men, I’d like to add.

But, if you did a straw poll, most would have that image high upon their fantasy list. [Read: Why guys drool when two girls kiss each other]

The insulting thing for true lesbians is that they aren’t with another woman simply because they think it’s going to please men and make them feel sexy.

They’re with another woman because they love them or simply feel attracted to them. It has nothing to do with what other people think or feel, and everything to do with how they feel about themselves.

So, when a true lesbian sees a woman acting as a fake lesbian, i.e. pretending to hit the sexual taboo hotspots to get attention, what do you think she feels?

Pretty annoyed, I’d say.

Would she be right to feel that way? Absolutely.

[Read: Why we need to embrace the sex positive feminism movement]

A woman pretending to be a fake lesbian is doing it for the wrong reasons. This isn’t something to play around with. It’s a sexuality choice which a woman has made because she is attracted to other women.

Many women have agonized over their sexually for years, finally coming to terms with the fact they are gay and coming out to their nearest and dearest.

Some find it easy to come out. Others certainly don’t. Why belittle their experience by exploiting it for sexual kicks and male attention?

Rant over.

Why do some women pretend to be lesbians when they’re not?

For attention.

There is no reason why a woman would pretend to be gay when she isn’t, other than for attention.

Maybe she has mistaken her sexuality and ended up in a relationship with another woman and she is scared to tell the woman about her change of heart. That is a totally different situation.

What we’re talking about here is a woman who outwardly flaunts their lesbianism in public. Why else would they do this if it wasn’t for attention? Why would they do this if they didn’t want to turn heads, perhaps court a little controversy?

There is no reason.

[Read: 16 signs of an insufferable attention whore]

You see this most commonly in the celebrity world, normally when a music star has a new album they want to market, or perhaps a product they want to get more attention for.

Pretending to be gay, pretending to court a little controversy, and show a little sexual taboo is of course a great way to do that.

Is it fair to make light of someone’s eternal sexual struggle to make cash? You’re damn right it’s not!

The world of the fake lesbian has certainly come to the fore over the last few years. If you think back a few years, you will remember a band called Tatu. This band consisted of two girls who pretended to be lesbians, singing a song called “All The Things She Said.”

It was huge, not because the song was any good, because it certainly wasn’t. It was famous and huge because these two Russian girls pretended to be lesbians. They were all over every magazine and TV program you could think of at the time.

They later came out to say that they weren’t gay at all and were advised to pretend to sell records.

This isn’t the only time this has happened. How many times have you seen musicians hook up with another woman? Only to suddenly break up with them a short time later, when the song tanked and they realized that pretending to be something you’re not isn’t the best way to go about things?

It seems that the idea of the fake lesbian is fine in theory, but the truth usually comes out in the end. When it does, people don’t really like the idea of being lied to!

A fake lesbian through the eyes of a true lesbian

I decided to find out first hand what a real lesbian thought about a fake lesbian by asking my friend. Of course, my friend is gay.

I put it to her that a fake lesbian is harmless, right? That suggestion was met with a rather angry facial expression.

She told me that the idea of someone pretending to be gay when they’re not is abhorrent to her. I asked why. What she said rang true.

When she finally accepted that she was gay, she was terrified and spent months hiding it from her parents, out of sheer worry of what they would think. She was convinced they would cast her aside and want nothing more to do with her.

The whole experience was so upsetting and defined around a decade of her life.

Why, she said, would someone want to make light of that experience by pretending that being a lesbian is glamorous?

[Read: Really understanding the different types of sexual orientations]

You can see where she is coming from. It’s a statement echoed by many in the same position. Pretending to be gay, sidestepping the whole drama and upset which often goes hand in hand with that at the start, is simply making light of a struggle that so many people go through across the world.

Let’s be honest, there are countries in the world where being a lesbian is actually illegal. There are women hiding their sexuality because it’s not legal in their country.

Can you imagine the persecution and terror they feel on a daily basis? So, in that case, why would a fake lesbian appeal to their positive side?

In their position, a fake lesbian would make me angry. I wouldn’t see them as a sign of women’s rights, as many pertain to be.

Hopefully this chat will help you think a little deeper about this whole subject. When someone pretends to be something they’re not, simply for cash and attention, not only are they not being true to themselves, they belittle the struggle that someone else has gone through. If nothing else, ethically, it’s a huge no-no.

[Read: How to be true to yourself and start living life on your terms]

While the fake lesbian might be in fashion in celebrity circles, understanding why the whole idea is anger-inducing to a genuine lesbian is important.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. And while you’re at it, check out MIRL, a cool new social networking app that connects experts and seekers!

Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
Follow Nicky on