What do you think—is talking to yourself normal? You might be surprised to learn that more people do it than you realize! So, is not normal or not?
It is normal to talk to yourself? Well, if not, then most of society will need to seek therapy! While it may be embarrassing to be caught chattering away, it turns out that self-talk is completely normal. Most people do this when they are alone.
The reason many people wonder if talking to yourself is normal is because there are instances where it can be considered a symptom of a serious mental disorder. But these cases are more likely to be the rarity than the norm.
To alleviate your fears, we’ve provided an explanation of when it’s normal to have a good old conversation with yourself. [Read: 84 intellectual, deep conversation starters and topics to bond with anyone]
When is talking to yourself normal?
Talking to oneself is an effective coping mechanism. In moments of solitude, we turn to the only person in the room that we trust: ourselves.
When that happens, we end up muttering our thoughts aloud. This can be either to practice a conversation or to work through something on our minds.
Most people talk to themselves as a way to help their brain process information. Not everyone talks out loud when pondering something, but when they do, they may start to wonder whether it is normal or not. And it is. [Read: 36 healthy ways to handle rejection and respond positively even if it hurts]
When does self-talk start?
From as early as you can talk! Children talk to themselves and this carries on into adulthood. Some people do it more than others.
If you think about it, there’s a constant stream of chatter in your mind anyway; why not verbalize it?
There is a saying that talking to yourself is normal as long as you don’t start answering yourself back, but if you’re practicing a conversation, that’s normal too!
In all honesty, if you regularly mutter to yourself when you’re alone, it’s generally nothing at all to be concerned about and actually a very normal trait! [Read: 45 positive and negative personality traits that can change your life forever]
Why do people talk to themselves?
There are a lot of reasons, but most of them fall under the umbrella of self-soothing or critical thinking. Here are some examples:
1. Problem-solving
Sometimes you need to work through the steps of a problem out loud to come to a solution. Hearing yourself say it uses different parts of your brain. This can help you find new perspectives on the problem.
When it feels like you’re stuck in the middle of a problem, talking to yourself might just yield the perfect solution. [Read: How to face relationship challenges and overcome them as a couple]
2. Planning
Many people feel overwhelmed by complicated, multi-step tasks. Talking to yourself while planning tasks is a similar organization technique to writing down steps.
Some people are more likely to remember something that they hear, which is why they automatically talk to themselves when they’re trying to outline the things they have to do. [Read: Perfect date – 36 secrets to be a good date, plan an ideal one, and impress them]
3. Remembering
When you forget something, discussing the possible avenues of your memory out loud can be very helpful. That is why you end up asking yourself, “Where did I put that?” or “What was I supposed to do, again?”
This technique is also useful when you remember only half of an important conversation. By saying what you do remember out loud, you can hopefully shake loose the information from your memory.
4. Motivation
“You can do this,” “You’re amazing,” and “Don’t worry, you’ll get through this.” These are just some of the phrases you can expect to hear from yourself when you need a little pick-me-up.
When you look in the mirror, you may feel the urge to cheer yourself on out loud. That’s perfectly normal. [Read: 18 ways to have high self-esteem and start winning at life]
5. Admonition
Some people cannot resist the urge to negative self-talk. But it’s also normal, especially in reaction to making a big mistake.
However, for some, it can turn into a toxic pattern of negative self-talk that worsens low self–esteem, depression, and identity issues.
While not an indicator of any psychotic episode, negative self-talk is common among people who suffer from depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety.
While still on the spectrum of normal, you have to be careful not to fall into negative patterns.
6. Identifying
The best way to learn something is to try to teach it to someone else. Identifying is the process of learning something by trying to teach it to yourself out loud.
When you see something new or something you need to learn, talking to yourself about it means you are trying to help yourself understand what it is you are faced with.
People identify problems, ideas, objects, and people by describing them to themselves, which in turn stores new information more effectively. [Read: Signs of low self-esteem and five ways to increase it]
Benefits of self-talk
Not only is talking to yourself normal but there are many real benefits. Here are just a few examples:
1. Critical thinking
Critical thinking is the ability to assess situations and make good decisions for yourself.
People with poor critical thinking skills often find themselves in an endless cycle of bad choices, unable to grasp cause and effect or see the bigger picture.
Talking to yourself can help improve your critical thinking skills. By going over situations out loud, even with yourself, it can give you time and perspective on the situation to make better choices. [Read: Why am I so indecisive? 25 whys and ways to be an instant decision-maker]
2. Anxiety and stress reduction
If you have ever muttered angrily to yourself on your commute home from a bad day, you have participated in stress-reductive self-talk.
Sometimes, talking to yourself allows you to vent the feelings of anger and fear that you have bottled up, giving you a safe and healthy outlet for these emotions.
Those who suffer from anxiety can sometimes find talking to themselves soothing, especially if they can calm themselves doing so. [Read: How to reduce stress – 17 fastest hacks to a calmer & happier life]
3. Practicing
Not all of us were gifted with natural social graces. Many people talk to themselves as a way to practice social situations in a safe setting, such as breaking up with a partner or asking their boss for a raise.
This is a great way to practice how your words sound to others. You can see if what you had planned to say sounds too harsh, and try to reword it to be more kind.
4. Problem-solving
When faced with a difficult problem, it helps to walk through all the possible choices and their potential consequences out loud.
If there is no one around, or if the problem is too personal to share with others, it is perfectly normal to talk to yourself.
After doing so, you might find that the solution was easier than you thought. [Read: 25 honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]
5. Increased focus
Talking to yourself can help to focus your mind and silence the chatter from outside. We’re constantly faced with a mirage of different distractions on a day-to-day basis, and it can make concentration very difficult.
However, talking to yourself focuses your mind on the task at hand and allows you to be more productive, reducing mistakes along the way.
6. Motivation
If you need to summon up the motivation to get something done, giving yourself a pep talk is a great way to do that.
So, the next time you need to do something but you really can’t be bothered to get up off the sofa, have a little chat with yourself, and see how motivated you feel afterward. [Read: 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life]
7. A personal check-in
We all live busy lives, and having a quick check-in with yourself can be really beneficial. Doing so will help you to understand whether you’re pushing specific emotions down or trying to avoid facing them.
Asking yourself, “How am I feeling?” can be a good way to focus your attention on yourself for a change and see if there’s anything you need to do to make yourself feel better. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]
Different kinds of talking to yourself
We have discussed that talking to yourself can be beneficial, but not all self-talk is created equal. There are three different kinds. While all are considered normal, some may not be all that good for you.
1. Negative self-talk
Negative self-talk is the act of berating yourself out loud. As we’ve already covered, this practice is very bad for your mental health and self-esteem.
Instead of making you feel better, negative self-talk affirms your insecurities, which can further exacerbate mental illness and self-esteem issues. [Read: Negative thinking – 32 signs and ways to stop and get rid of negative thoughts]
2. Neutral self-talk
Neutral self-talk is exactly how it sounds. If you are wondering aloud what you will have for dinner, or trying to work through a complicated problem, then you are participating in neutral self-talk.
This kind of talking to yourself is very normal and can often be beneficial in the ways we have listed above.
3. Positive self-talk
Positive self-talk is talking to yourself to pump yourself up and boost self-esteem. This has been shown to be a very effective technique.
If you are having a down day, try to give yourself a pep talk out loud. It may feel silly, but talking to yourself positively has been shown to improve your mood and self-esteem. [Read: Positive self-talk – what it is, where it comes from, and how to master it]
Tips for productive self-talk
As long as you’re steering clear of negative self-talk, talking to yourself is a great way to boost your confidence and focus your mind. So, how can you make your self-talk more productive?
1. Refer to yourself by name
When you say your name as you talk to yourself, you’re zoning your mind in on the fact that you’re having a conversation with yourself. It keeps your chat focused and gives you more chances of grabbing the benefits.
2. Stay positive
We know that negative self-talk is officially Not. A. Good. Thing. So, when you’re chatting away, make sure that you keep it positive and you don’t start veering into negativity land. [Read: 45 secrets to be more positive and fill your mind with positive emotions 24/7]
3. Emphasize your strengths
Talk up your strengths and recognize how great they are! It will boost your confidence and help you to see that you have a lot more going for you than you might realize.
When is talking to yourself not normal?
We have established that talking to yourself is normal for the most part. Talking to yourself is considered a red flag only if it is accompanied by other symptoms of a mental health disorder.
Some of the most common accompanying symptoms for different illnesses are listed below. [Read: Signs of anxiety – how to read the signs ASAP and handle them better]
1. Talking to a different persona
If you’re talking to yourself, but you think you’re talking to a completely different version of yourself, you may be suffering from dissociative identity disorder.
This rare mental disorder is when two or more personalities, with different memories and behavior, exist within one person.
2. Talking to something that does not exist
People who appear to be talking to themselves, when they actually believe they are talking to something only they can see, may be suffering from a schizoaffective disorder. This is usually associated with hallucinations and the feeling of seeing or hearing something that isn’t there.
If you suspect you are hallucinating, consult a medical professional immediately. [Read: Why we need to break down the stigma of mental illness]
3. Talking to oneself in a manic way
Those who suffer from a disorder that causes manic episodes may end up talking to themselves to cope with their current status.
Manic self-talk, also called pressured speech, tends to be confusing, rapid, and incoherent. The speaker will jump from one subject to another at random and seem to be incapable of holding one thought at a time. [Read :Sabotaging your happiness – ways you can ruin your life]
How to stop talking to yourself
As long as your self-talk doesn’t fall into any of the worrying categories above, it’s entirely normal.
However, you might want to reduce the amount that you talk to yourself, and in that case, there are some alternatives you can use.
1. Journal
This is basically the same thing but doing it via the written word instead. Journalling can be very cathartic and a great way to work your way through problems and identify patterns and triggers. [Read: 28 self-improvement secrets to improve yourself and transform into your best self]
2. Practice internal thoughts instead
Rather than saying things out loud, try to internalize them and think them instead. This will take practice if you’re used to chattering away to yourself, but it can be done with perseverance.
3. Talk to other people
Of course, the easiest and best way is to talk to other people instead. This will help you to build strong relationships with others and improve your life along the way. [Read: How to make small talk and talk to anyone without feeling awkward]
4. Distract yourself
If you really feel that you talk to yourself too much, try to distract yourself when the feeling arises.
Stop yourself and focus on something that you can immerse yourself in, such as going for a run or reading a book.
5. Seek help
We know that for the most part, talking to yourself isn’t anything to worry about. But if you feel that for you it is a particular problem, don’t be afraid to seek help.
Your doctor can refer you to the appropriate specialist to help you work through your problem. [Read: How to help someone up when they’re feeling down and depressed]
Should you try talking to yourself?
The takeaway is this: differences between normal and not normal are quite vast. You cannot mistake one for the other unless the signs of a mental health disorder are present and obvious.
It might be scary to think that you could be suffering from this, but you don’t need to worry unless a doctor says so.
So go on, talk to yourself! After all, you might need the opinion of an expert—you!
[Read: 52 happy habits and ways to find happiness within yourself and feel better]
We hope this information has helped alleviate your concerns about talking to yourself but talking to your personal doctor may help alleviate your concerns more effectively. As long as you remain within the bounds of normalcy, talk away!
