If you’re lusting after a spoken for woman and can’t stop thinking about her, you’ll need some help. Here’s how to handle this heartbreaking time.
Sometimes we meet someone and they take hold of our head. We can’t stop thinking about them no matter what and if this is you, but she’s taken, you’re probably going through a rough time. Thankfully, there are ways to get through it if you can’t stop thinking about her.
It’s not easy to accept the fact that she’s taken, but you just have to. You can’t be the guy who tries to wedge himself in the middle of their relationship. That’s not okay and she’ll most likely be turned off by you.
Why some people just stick in our minds
You’re probably wondering why you can’t stop thinking about her. To you, she may have even seemed like a pretty average woman but for some reason, you just can’t stop. You were attracted to her and now you can’t help but think of her all the time.
This is usually because she impressed you in some way. She did something out of the ordinary that made you take notice and your mind is now on her exclusively. You may not even know what she did.
Her hair could’ve been done a certain way, she could’ve said something, and she may have even just looked at you a certain way. No matter what, she got your attention and that’s why she’s in your head. [Read: 20 signs of attraction in the first conversation]
What to do when you can’t stop thinking about her
Unfortunately, no matter how much you like her, she’s taken. That means you can’t pursue her and instead, you have to try and get her out of your mind. Here are a few things you can do to forget her and live your life normally again.
#1 Stop stalking her social media. Yes. You need to stop. The more you see her, the more you’re going to be thinking about her. So just stop. Get rid of her social media or just stop looking her up if you’re not friends.
This might be really hard to do just because you have so much access to her photos and basically her life through social media. Be stronger than your desires. Use some self-control and help yourself out by not creeping on her.
#2 Shut down thoughts the second they pop up. This takes even more self-control than avoiding her Instagram. You’ll have to force yourself to think of other things when she pops up in your mind. It is possible, but only if you try every single time.
The second you start thinking about her, distract yourself or start thinking of something different. This also works best if you think of something different to distract yourself. If you always start thinking of the same thing right after her, you’ll associate that with her.
#3 Stay busy with friends. The busier you are, the less you’ll have room to think about her. So go out and be with your friends. It’s really easy to want to hide away in your home when you’re bummed out about her being taken, but don’t.
Go out and have a great time. Let them distract you and keep you entertained so your mind can’t picture her anymore. Every time someone asks to go do something, say yes. When you’re home alone because no one wants to do anything, do something that keeps your mind occupied. [Read: 30 really fun ways to enjoy time with friends]
#4 Find someone new to think about. This isn’t necessarily a rebound, but she can be used in a similar way. Just go have fun with someone new. Get on some dating apps or try your luck with some girls while you’re out with friends.
You might find someone even more captivating than the girl you keep thinking about. The point here is to meet other people. You can’t have the girl you can’t stop thinking about, but you can have other amazing, single girls.
#5 Focus on your hobbies and interests. This is also just about keeping your mind busy. When you’re bummed out, you’ll tend to stop doing the stuff you enjoy. You can’t do that. In order to get your mind off her, you have to be active with your hobbies and interests.
#6 Distance yourself from memories of her. Yes, that means if you met her at your favorite place to get drinks, you should avoid it for a while. Just try to stay away from anything that reminds you of her.
The fewer reminders you have, the less you’ll think about her. And eventually, you won’t think about her at all anymore. She’ll just be a distant memory that only pops up once in a while.
#7 Remember why you can’t have her. It’s not enough just to acknowledge that she’s taken. You have to remember that she’s happy with that person. Even if you can’t stop thinking about her, she’s still enjoying life with someone else.
#8 Make new goals and work toward them. This is really about keeping your mind busy. What better way to occupy your mind than to work toward something you care about? Set some new goals and get started on them. They can be anything from fitness and health-related to a project around the house.
#9 Talk to your buddies about it. Let your friends talk you out of being obsessed with her. It might be a touchy topic, but just tell them you can’t stop thinking about her and need a little help.
#10 Accept that she can’t be yours and move on. You just have to do this. You can’t really move on if you think she’ll be yours someday. Even if she breaks up with the person she’s with, that doesn’t mean you can go after her right away. Moving on and accepting your situation is one of the only ways to truly move forward.
If you can’t stop thinking about her but can’t have her, you just need to move on. It won’t be easy at first but you’ll get over her with time. Follow these tips to make that process a bit faster and easier.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...