Many people put up with crappy friends simply because they think they have to. That person has been in their life for as long as they can remember so, despite the way they treat them, they get to stick around. But if you’re someone who’s just blind to the signs of a bad friend, we can certainly help.
You don’t deserve to have crappy friends around you all the time.
The people you surround yourself with can have a much bigger impact on your life than you might think. If you want a better quality of life, then you need to be keeping only the best people around you.
It might not be that easy to see just how much the wrong person in your life can make a difference. Sometimes we think they’ll just be annoying or exhaust us with their negativity for a little while. However, those effects can last much longer than you think.
If your friend puts you in a bad mood before work, you’ll show up with less energy and in a toxic state of mind. That means you’ll perform worse and give off an unapproachable vibe.
For many reasons, this is harmful.
You could be passed up for a big promotion. You could mess up on a serious project and get punished for it. Both of those things can make your job worse.
Plus, when you’re in a more positive mindset, better things happen around you. [Read: Bad friends – 25 types of friends you MUST unfriend from your life]
Never stop reading the signs of a bad friend. Even if you’ve had the same friends for years and years, you still need to be paying attention to whether or not they’re worth keeping around. Here’s what to look for in order to determine who to ditch.
You can go on and on about something you really care about only to have them say, “Wait, what?” when you’re done. They don’t listen.
This has a lot to do with the fact that they just don’t care. If they did, they’d listen more.
However, if this only happens every now and then when your friend is distracted, that’s fine. Watch out for the people who do this every time. [Read: 7 signs you’re not being heard and 7 ways to fix it]
Basically, they think anything you conjure up is stupid. They don’t even care about making you feel dumb, either. If they shoot down your ideas or refuse to even acknowledge them, that’s one of the clearest signs of a bad friend who’s being horrible to your self-esteem.
Think about the friends who are there to cheer you on when you’re accomplishing your goals but are ALSO there when the going gets tough. Do they encourage you and push you to reach your goals?
If not, they’re probably shitty friends. Keep an eye out for those who only cheer on your accomplishes but don’t do a damn thing for you when you’re struggling. [Read: The biggest signs someone is truly supporting your goals]
They need something from you – it feels like they always need something from you.
Whether that’s money, an ear to listen or someone who will give them a solution to a problem, they just want something from you. They don’t talk to you to see how you’re doing or what’s going on in your life.
Do you really trust that person to take care of you if you were injured or got super ill around them? Do you trust them to be alone with your significant other without trying to hit on them?
Trust is major. If you can’t trust them, something’s off. This is definitely one of the biggest signs of a bad friend.
You make plans together but you don’t really get excited about it. Instead, you feel the need to mentally prepare yourself for them.
This is one of the biggest signs of a bad friendship because it means they mentally exhaust you – something friends shouldn’t do.
Basically, they have no respect for your time. They make plans and you may have even rearranged your schedule just to fit in time with them.
If they cancel last minute – or worse, don’t even tell you they can’t make it until you’re already waiting for them, it’s one of those big signs of a bad friend. This is just plain rude and you should not put up with it. [Read: Why you should never tolerate flakey friends and always ditch them]
When you’re having a hard time and need someone to talk to, they don’t listen. But if they’re struggling and call you up, they go on for what feels like hours venting to you.
This isn’t fair and it just shows they don’t care much about the struggles in your life.
Has your friend ever told another friend a secret you told them? You may not think it matters if you would’ve told the other friend anyway, but it’s still a huge invasion of privacy. The disrespect with something like this is unforgivable and they’re a shitty friend.
You should never feel judged by your friends – and do not ever forget that. If anything, you should feel free to express yourself. If you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable opening up to them about something really important to you, you should probably start looking for new friends.
They might make comments that seem helpful but really, they’re insulting and make you feel like crap.
If you’re having a rough time at work they might say something like, “Try making more of an effort and see if that helps,” as if you already weren’t working hard. [Read: 6 reasons why you might feel unloved and 10 ways to fix it]
This is definitely one of the painful signs of a bad friend. They could straight up say that you’re whiney and annoying or they could make snide comments that don’t read as an insult until you think about it later.
Either way, when they’re saying things that make you feel horrible about yourself, it’s time to find new friends.
But then they tell you to “suck it up” when you’re having a hard time. You know they’re showing signs of a bad friend when they basically pull the “poor me, I have it so rough” and then never allow you to be a victim. They just want the sympathy and then offer you none.
If you’ve been told by others that this person has been talking bad about you behind your back, they’re not your friend. Real friends don’t insult and demean their friends ever, but especially behind their back.
They really just want all the attention. This is especially obvious if you have great news to share or an accomplishment to announce.
They’re basically trying to upstage you because they don’t want you to have all the glory, which is not something a true friend would do. [Read: Attention seeker – 17 signs your friend is one even if you can’t see it]
If you are out for lunch and the check comes, they can’t just split it. They have to figure everything out to the penny. Or if you accidentally step on their foot, they throw a fit and make you feel bad.
One of the big signs of a bad friend is just how petty they can be, and how they get caught up in stupid details that really don’t matter.
Sure, it’s great when your friends get along with your significant other. But it’s one thing when you all go out in a group and they interact pleasantly with one another.
And it’s another when your friend flirts or even talks to them behind your back – and without your permission. [Read: When people hurt you – how to deal with the pain and respond to them]
Because they tend to be petty about small things – and larger things – they are prone to giving you the silent treatment when they are angry.
Even if it’s something stupid, a bad friend will give you the cold shoulder. They might even tell you what you did to make them mad. It’s their way of punishing you.
One of the signs of a bad friend is just how much they value you, your time, and the time you both spend together. Whenever you meet them for dinner, drinks, or even going to a concert, a bad friend is always late.
They have no problem leaving you waiting in a restaurant for an hour while you wait for them to arrive. Or, you might miss half of your favorite concert because they just can’t get ready on time.
A hypocrite criticizes you for doing something that they do themselves.
For example, if you tell your significant other a little white lie, your friend will call you out on it and say you’re a bad person for lying. However, you know that your friend regularly lies to their significant other too!
Since they are usually quite negative, sometimes they won’t accept your apology – even if you did nothing wrong.
You might apologize only to get past something, but then they resort to the silent treatment again as a punishment. But because they are a hypocrite, they get angry if you don’t accept their apology. [Read: 24 signs you have really shitty friends and it’s time to get some new ones]
The best way to see the signs of a bad friend is to keep an eye on the amount of fights and drama they pull into their own life.
A bad friend always needs to have drama all around them, and that includes you.
So, they will try to pick a fight about anything and everything. It could be small and stupid, and you roll your eyes that anyone even cares enough to fight about it. [Read: Attention seeking behavior and why some people always go looking for drama]
Whenever you hang out with a bad friend, you feel like the lifeforce is being sucked out of you. You feel drained, and coated in negative energy.
It’s like you want to go take a shower to wash off all the bad vibes they gave you while you were with them. [Read: What is an energy vampire? 19 signs to spot them in your life ASAP]
It could be a Saturday night, and you have no plans, even though you’re in the mood to go out and do something. But then they reach out and ask you to hang out with them.
You don’t get excited – you actually try to find a way to turn them down because you’d rather be alone.
Sure, they will get back to you when you contact them – but only at their convenience.
You might even have a very important situation that is time sensitive, but it doesn’t matter to them. But if you don’t respond to them right away, they get angry with you.
If you get a hot significant other, then they try to go find someone hotter. If you buy a new car, they have to go out and buy a newer, more expensive car. One of the obvious signs of a bad friend is how they are always trying to one-up and outdo you. [Read: 25 secret signs of a jealous friend and how to deal with their envy]
Because they do things like always keep you waiting, that is very unreliable. Also, if you ask them to do things like help you move or something similar, you know they probably won’t follow through. They will make excuses to get out of it. You can never count on a bad friend for anything.
A bad friend has no problem raising their voice to you and yelling at you for stupid things.
Or, if you’re at a restaurant, they are very rude to the server and talk to them as if they were their slave. They think the world revolves around them and that it doesn’t matter how they treat other people.
Whenever you are with them, you know you are going to hear all about the latest petty gossip. They love to talk bad about other people because it makes them feel better about themselves.
In fact, they rarely praise or talk about the nice things people do. [Read: How to tell if a friend is toxic and brings unhappiness into your life]
You are always afraid of saying something that will offend them – because they are easily offended. And everything you do – or don’t do – you have to analyze to make sure that they won’t take it the wrong way.
But they aren’t predictable, so you have no idea how they are going to react to anything. That’s why you are always walking on eggshells.
Now that you know the signs of a bad friend, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to just keep them in your lives even though they are toxic? It’s probably a good idea to cut them out of your life for your own sanity.
You can do this by having a conversation with them. However, your words will probably go in one ear and out the other.
They will probably never change. So, you might just want to start slowly distancing yourself and go find friends who actually lift you up, not drag you down.
[Read: The right steps to follow to ghost a friend when you’ve never ghosted anyone before]
Knowing the signs of a bad friend can help you kick the crappy ones to the curb. You need to be surrounding yourself with positive people who only want to lift you up and make your life better.
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