When your girlfriend follows back hot guys on Instagram and it’s there in front of you to see, you might worry if there’s more behind it. Should you worry? Do you even care? It’s a conversation that tends to bring up mixed results. Some guys don’t mind, others find it makes their blood boil.
If you were in this situation and find that your girlfriend follows back hot guys on Instagram, how would you feel about it?
The ups and downs of social media
Social media is a wonderful thing, but it’s also one of the main causes of relationship problems.
[Read: Why social media is killing your relationships]
Back in the not-so-olden days, the only way you could talk to someone outside of your relationship was in person, or via very long-winded text messages on phones that were certainly a long way from touch screen. While cheating and other closely connected problems did happen *of course they did, they’ve been happening since the dawn of time*, they were much harder to initiate and keep going.
Cut to today. We’re all messaging everyone we’ve ever met, and some we never have. It’s easier than ever before to connect with anyone we want to, at any time.
That’s a good thing if you’re genuinely talking to family and friends, but…
[Read: The happy couple’s guide to social media etiquette]
If your girlfriend follows back hot guys on Instagram, should you worry?
First things first, how do you know that she finds them hot? Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps they’re simply working in a niche she’s interested in, or they’re genuinely just friends. So, it’s worth keeping calm and thinking about other avenues, other than the fact that you think he’s hot.
Secondly, do you follow hot girls? You might. In that case, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, i.e. if you’re doing it, you can’t complain when she is.
If it’s a celebrity she’s following, seriously, don’t worry about it. The chances of her bumping into this hunk are super-slim. However, if guys are following her and your girlfriend follows back hot guys on Instagram, simply to have conversations via DMs, yes, worry.
I don’t want to make you freak out, but it’s one of those situations that you must think rationally about at first. Then when you have the information you need, decide whether it’s something you can deal with or not.
[Read: 11 things couples should quit doing on social media]
If the guys she follows have 10,000 plus followers, again, it’s nothing to concern yourself about. This is obviously a guy who simply likes to rack up his numbers. In that case, your girlfriend is probably just appreciating the scenery. Again, if you do it with celebrity girls or models, you can’t complain. However, if these hot guys live within the vicinity and there’s evidence of back and forth flirting going on, chat with your girlfriend and figure out what’s going on.
Let’s be honest, we all like to look at pictures of attractive people, it’s what makes us human to a degree. But if your girlfriend follows back hot guys on Instagram for more than the pictures, question whether or not she’s up to no good behind your back. Is it just one guy? Is it multiple? Do these guys like her photos and leave comments? Just check things out a little before you jump in feet first and accuse her of something she’s not doing. [Read: 15 things YOU shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a girlfriend]
It’s time to set a few boundaries
Let’s assume it’s innocent, which it probably is. Does it bother you to the point where you want her to stop? If so, why do you feel that way?
Jealousy isn’t a pleasant trait. But, if she’s constantly following hot guys and leaving comments, it’s almost like she’s rubbing it in your face. In that case, figure out how you feel about it, talk to her, and set some boundaries.
You can’t help the way you feel; however, make sure that you’re being rational and not just having a major attack of the green-eyed monster. I know many guys who don’t like it when their girlfriend follows back hot guys on Instagram. So, if you feel this way too, you’re not alone. What you need to figure out is how much you can handle versus how much you can’t.
Again, check your own behavior before jumping in! You can’t expect her to tone down her attractive guy following if you’re still checking out all manner of hot girls on your own social media platforms! Make sure you’re being consistent and sit down and have a chat. [Read: How to show off your girlfriend on social media in a way she’ll love]
Don’t be accusatory here. Simply explain that it makes you feel awkward and you feel like everyone can see it. She might laugh and say it’s nothing to worry about, but if it bothers you, it bothers you. If she loves and respects you, she should be open to cutting down on her hot guy following, as long as you do the same with anyone you’re following.
[Read: 13 signs of jealousy in a man that make him overstep his boundaries]
Is it a case of trust?
When your girlfriend follows back hot guys on Instagram and it really bothers you, ask yourself why. Do you fear that she will stray? In that case, ask yourself if you actually trust her and whether or not you’re truly secure in your relationship.
Perhaps there are deeper issues you should address here. Her following these guys bothers you is just a sign you need to pay attention to.
For the most part, following hot people on social media is nothing more than harmless fun. However, when there are deeper problems in a relationship, even if you don’t realize it at the time, it can be an issue which grows into something far bigger.
Some people are just naturally jealous, but realize that when your girlfriend follows back hot guys on Instagram, it’s not always a terrible sign. Sure, if she’s messaging back and forth with the intention of doing something unfaithful, yes, it’s something you must face up to, deal with, and work out between you. However, for the most part, it’s never anything serious and just something you need to set boundaries with and both adhere to.
[Read: How to set boundaries in your relationship for a healthy, happy love life]
Dealing with the insecurity together
If something makes you uncomfortable and not for a negative reason, you shouldn’t apologize for it. Your girlfriend should understand that what she is doing makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure. Yes, insecurity is something that you need to address for yourself, but when your partner is causing you to feel that way via their actions, it’s not all on you.
I love social media, truly I do. It’s one of the best inventions we’ve ever come up with, but I can also see its negative sides. Make sure you use it for the reasons it was invented for – to stay in touch with those around you and to connect. It shouldn’t be used to sneak around and make it easier to stray. The sheer number of relationships that have been ruined with social media playing a part is huge. Don’t be one of them.
[Read: Social media and relationships: The good, the bad, the ugly]
When your girlfriend follows back hot guys on Instagram, it’s normal to feel aggrieved. However, before you jump in and accuse her of cheating, make sure you know all the facts!
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