If relationships were easy, there would never be such a thing as heartache. Or romantic comedies. Or romance movies in general. The hardships of love and making a relationship last are widely known by pretty much anyone who has ever had feelings for someone. Why is it hard to know how to show love sometimes?
Making a relationship work isn’t easy. Sure, your relationship shouldn’t be difficult to maneuver, and it should feel natural. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to put in an effort to make your partner happy. It doesn’t mean you just tell your partner you love them and be done for the day.
Not showing love ruins relationships
A lot of people think cheating and/or abuse are the only things that ruin a relationship. Sometimes it’s something else altogether. If you don’t how to show love, or let your significant other know that you love them, you put your relationship at risk and not even realize it.
By forgetting to do this—even if you do truly love them—you could be making them doubt you and your feelings. This leads to insecurities, jealousy, arguments, and a loss of feelings for you. If you don’t show your love for the other person, you may as well not care for them at all.
How to show love and make them want to stay
To some, knowing how to show love for your significant other comes naturally. You may not even have to think about it and the actions are something you do automatically. To others, however, this isn’t so easy. It’s not that you care for them any less, rather, you aren’t naturally good at showing how much you care.
If you’re the latter, don’t worry. It doesn’t mean you’re doomed to end up alone because you can’t show someone how much you love them. With these ways to show love, you’ll make them want to stay and show them just how much you care.
#1 Write love notes. I know this seems really cheesy, but if it can save your relationship or just show your significant other how much you love them, it’s worth it. Right?
Write small love notes and leave them in places for your lover to find. Anything as simple as, “you look beautiful/handsome” written on a post-it and left on the mirror in the morning is more than enough. [Read: 10 most important tips to writing a love letter]
#2 Bring their favorite candy home. This is something everyone has the means to do. Spending a few dollars every week or even only a couple times a month is something that’s both easy and affordable.
You stop at the store multiple times during the week and grabbing their favorite candy or guilty pleasure food is something that shows them how much you care.
#3 Give them a back rub before bed. Don’t know how to show love or feel awkward doing saying those three words? Then show them! Many people work long days and carry the stress in their back muscles. Believe me when I say a back rub before they drift off to sleep shows them more than enough love. Caring about their relaxation and reducing the tension they feel is important to them. [Read: How to prove you love someone the right way]
#4 Kiss them as you walk by. How many times do you walk past your significant other in a day? Those are all opportunities for you to show your love. Just give them a little kiss on their cheek, forehead, or even their lips. That moment of affection has the power to make them want to stay.
#5 Slap their ass when you see it. It may be something really simple and silly, but it means more than you may think. Especially if your significant other is someone who feels loved by physical actions. Give them a little slap and grunt of appreciation. They’ll want to stick around. [Read: 11 sweet and intimate ways to show how much you care]
#6 Compliments. Compliments are so underrated. Everyone likes to hear what you like about them. So, speak up. Don’t just keep those thoughts to yourself.
If you think they’re looking particularly attractive that day, tell them. If they’re discussing something intelligent and you admire their mind, say so.
#7 Ask about their day—and be interested. Don’t just make a routine of asking how someone’s day is. Always ask with the intention of listening to what happened to them. You never know what may have happened during the day to make them feel a certain way. Ask, and actually be interested.
#8 Listen. This is one of the best things to show love. Listen to what your partner says—about anything. Even if it’s something you’re not particularly interested in. If it means a lot to them, taking it all in and paying attention shows them so much love. [Read: 10 ways to be a better listener in your relationship]
#9 Offer your advice. If they come to you for advice, don’t just shrug your shoulders and say, “I don’t know.” They came to you for a reason. Even if you’re unsure what to do, talk it out with them and tell them what you would do in their situation. Advice is huge when it comes to showing your love.
#10 Be involved with their family/friends. Family and friends are big in your partner’s life. If you really want to show them how much you love them, get involved and be there with their family and friends whenever you can. Even asking how they’re doing is enough to show love.
#11 Be involved in their hobbies. I’m not saying you should actually do all the things they do, but be emotionally involved. Ask them about how the book they’re writing is going. Ask how they’re doing in their volleyball league. Be interested in what they have a passion for.
#12 Support them. Another huge thing you should do to show your love is to support them. Go to their band practices and shows. Read what they have written of their book. Cheer them on at their volleyball tournament. Be supportive and they’ll feel your love for them. [Read: What is real love? 15 special ways true love sets itself apart]
#13 Pick up the slack when they’re stressed. Everyone has times when they’re so stressed they just can’t deal with the day to day tasks of life.
The dishes pile up, they can’t muster the energy for laundry, and they can barely cook themselves healthy food. Picking up the slack and doing these things for them from time to time shows your love more than you think.
#14 Give them space when needed. We all have times when we just want to be alone to process things. To show your love and understanding, give them this time. Let them be alone, but make sure they know you’re there whenever they’re ready to talk it out. [Read: 11 signs you spend way too much time together]
#15 Random surprises. It’s not about the big stuff. Sure, you could buy them a diamond necklace and matching earrings. But ultimately, it’s the small kiss you give them before leaving for work or ordering their favorite takeout and having it delivered when they’ve had a stressful day. Random surprises show your love and make them want to stay.
[Read: The 25 sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life]
Overall, remember that knowing how to show love is all about the little things. Big gestures of love aren’t what makes someone want to stick around. It’s the little things in day to day life that makes them feel loved.
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