Home Women Understanding Men Why Do Guys Stare at Girls?

Why Do Guys Stare at Girls?

Print

Email

Why do guys stare at girls, really? Girls are used to guys ogling at them, but is there something more to the stare? Find out the real reasons behind guys and the stare!

Click here to read the introduction on why men stare at women and what really goes on in their minds.

Why Do Guys Stare at Girls?

Guys stare at girls all the time. And in the introduction, you would have read about why guys are just so scared to approach girls, but are so courageous when it comes to staring at girls.

Guys staring at girls

So let’s head straight to why guys stare at girls.

[Read: What guys always notice on a date]

Some guys stare because they don’t know what else to do.

They definitely don’t know how to make a move, and they just assume that by staring at you, they’d be able to hold your attention long enough to feel good about themselves.

They can always tell a friend later, “Hey dude, guess what? There was this chick down the street, and we had a moment! Both of us were just staring at each other like the damn world had stopped revolving! Cool, huh?”

You know that’s quite annoying, right?

Why do guys stare so much?

Surprisingly, some of the guys who stare at girls think long term. They stare at you so hard, they’d want to burn an imprint of themselves into your brain.

And all their stupid mind screams is, “What if I could bump into her again at a party, or someplace else? If she remembers me, then I could probably make the move if she’s close enough…” [Read: How men think about relationships]

Knowing the guys who stare at girls

We have all kinds of guys in the world. We have them good guys without girlfriends, the good guys with girlfriends, and we have the losers who don’t have a chance of getting women. It’s the third kind that always messes around with girls.

These guys are just plain pissed off with women because they’re branded losers by girls. They have no damn self confidence when it comes to matters of women, and they, quite frankly, don’t care. You see these guys plaguing cafes, clubs and shopping malls. They hang out, almost always with friends (for confidence and support), and stare at girls. [Read: How to look sexy without trying]

These guys know you’d feel awkward and uncomfortable when they stare. And they get pleasure out of knowing they can make you feel uncomfortable.

If they would approach you, you’d spurn their advances anyways. So these guys retaliate by making you feel uncomfortable. Some guys even go to the extent of snapping pictures of pretty women on their cell phones just to annoy them.

Guys staring at girls and the places

Ever found yourself walking past shops in the busy side of town, minding your own business and looking for a good bargain? Of course, you have.

On almost every occasion, you would have found at least one guy staring at your breasts or at your derriere.  He might think he’s being discreet, but he’s obviously not. These guys just stare like their eyes are stuck to your boobs with invisible strings of superglue! [Read: Why guys love breasts so much]

Really, I’m sure you’re fine with a decent guy who just checks you out for a fraction of a second, it might even be flattering, but an all-out stare is just disgusting. These stare-y eyed guys look all over, and emphasize most on the assets that differentiate women from the men.

Guys who know for sure that they are never going to have a chance to go out with a beautiful girl like you indulge in such wild stares. They do know others may be looking at them in disgust, but to them, all they care about is their moment of glory. They got to see a beautiful girl’s bra straps! In their mind, all they scream out is, “Wow! Now that’s a sight to store in mind for later tonight!” [Read: Why are men addicted to porn?]

How can you tell if a guy is staring at you

Guys stare at girls. Period. But it’s all not the same.

I’m sure all women understand that staring is a way by which a man shows interest in you. But ‘the stare’ is a long way from the simple show of appreciation. It might confuse you at first, and you may take a few glances back at him to figure if he’s checking you out or staring at you like he’s hypnotized, but that usually takes a few minutes to figure.

And quite frankly, that’s just too long if it’s a loser who’s giving you a stare, or ‘the stare’. Either ways, don’t ever just stare back at someone for more than half a second. If you do make eye-contact, lay off looking at him for the next five minutes or so, and take a quick discreet look again to see if he’s still checking you. If he’s checking you five out of five times you look at him, you’ve got yourself a guy with ‘the stare’. If it’s four times, he may still be a weirdo. If it’s three out of five, then he may be a nice guy (if he looks good!), if it’s just once, he was probably just looking around.

But either ways, unless you like this guy too, try avoiding the staring game. You might just find yourself escaping from a clinging stalker. [Read: How to be just friends when he wants more]

Guys staring at girls – How to stop it?

The simplest methods first. Firstly, all you need is to stop staring back! That’ll do the trick. If you want to go one step further, then just look straight at him, give him your dirtiest stare and sit in another seat so you can show your back to him.

Or if you’re with a bunch of friends, you could just point right out at him, and all of you could burst out laughing. There are a lot of things you could do, and I’m sure you could come up with something just as nasty any day!

After all, guys who stare at girls act brave and burly only as long as you’re uncomfortable. If you show him who’s in control, he’ll tuck his tail like a little dog.

Personal encounters of guys staring at girls

Ever experienced a freaky stare-y guy who just doesn’t stop staring at you? Or do you get stared at all the time? Here are a few stare-y stories.

I don’t mind being “glanced” at or “smiled” at, but I don’t like it when a guy has that nasty “oooooh baby damn” look in his eyes. The worst part is, some guys stare until I’m out of sight. It’s so tacky, and it feels like they can really see me through my shirt! It’s disgusting when they do that.

- Barbara,27

I don’t mind if a guy stares at me, as long as he’s great looking. But I think it would creep me out if he stares at me like he wants to murder me. Either ways, I think I would get freaked out if guys stare at girls without blinking or looking away. That’s just scary. [Read: How to get to know a guy you want to date]

- Cristine, 24

I personally don’t find it uncomfortable when a guy stares at me, because I just shrug it off or sit someplace else, but my friends do feel quite uncomfortable. All I can tell these guys who stare at girls is, “Grow up, you’ll never be able to hook up with anyone just by staring and trying to seduce girls!”

- Sahara, 20

I’m a girl who gets stared at a lot and it does make me uncomfortable. It’s hard to act normal when you know you’re in a room with someone who’s watching you. I speak for myself, but when it happens frequently it can get really annoying. Sometimes I get disgusted when these men stare and try to strike up a conversation with me. But then, if I’m clubbing, it doesn’t bother me at all.

But if I’m in a coffee shop, or sitting in a train it can be so annoying I would want to leave immediately. I think one look is fine, as long as the girl is not aware the guy caught her eye. It’s not really a compliment to her as she probably already knows she’s pretty and attracts attention. So unless a guy is seriously planning on talking to her, a guy should do her the courtesy of leaving her alone by not staring or looking at her constantly.

- Wren, 31

[Read: 20 things that turn a guy on sexually when he sees a girl]

So why do guys stare at girls? We sure hope you know the real reasons behind their dirty stares. Guys staring at girls is no big deal, and can be flattering too. But if it’s the dirty stare we’re talking about, it’s best to not acknowledge it in the first place.


We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!




Like Lovepanky on Facebook and follow us @Lovepanky. Join our conversations and let’s create better love and relationships in the world.

Have your say!
  • sef
    May 19, 2011 | Permalink |

    I think you got this completely wrong, like you said, some guys don’t know how to make a move but they don’t stare so they can brag about it to their friends, they do it because of the sexual pleasure it gives them. To a guy, a young developed female body is the most beautiful thing in the world. And girls, please don’t get angry at them if they do stare, they just can’t help themselves and if it really annoys you, just tell them not to stare, and if they don’t listen, knee them in the balls, not hard though, because it really is the most painful thing possible.

  • Lovepanky
    May 19, 2011 | Permalink |

    @Sef, in the real world, can a girl walk up to some guy and tell him to stop looking at her? That would become the world’s best pick up trick then, wouldn’t it? All guys would start ogling at girls, in the hope of striking a conversation with her.

    And about kneeing him in the balls softly, ahem, well, we’re pretty sure that’s going to give him more pleasure than pain. Would a girl want to do that? Well, whatever works for you!

  • Zeke
    July 12, 2011 | Permalink |

    I look and glance at women, because it’s natural for us guys, just like some women stare at guys.

    There is a woman, I do stare at. I mean nothing creepy or anything. It’s mainly just a blank stare (glance). I mean, yeah she’s very beautiful and I probably will never have a chance. I go to my mates job and we go out for the night. She works with him. So really, I have nothing but women to look at.

    I don’t try and be creepy or anything. I don’t stare at her like some wannabe killer or anything. I just glance for half a second and look away. When I do look at her, I don’t think sexual things. But rather, “Man, I wish I had the balls to actually talk to her”, “Why do I bother even looking at her, nothing’s going to happen”.

    I’m trying to stop glancing at her every once in a while. Because what’s the point?

    I remember almost talking to her one time. I just chickened out and went to a different register. I’m a decent looking guy. I get compliments from other women. I’ve dated a few good looking women. I have a few flaws, that will probably turn a few women away (mostly superficial women). But I just simply know how to start it. If I did, I would have already tried talking to her and everything. But like I said, I’m doing my best to just stop period.

    Most of the time, she doesn’t even look at me. But I’ve caught her a couple of times. Maybe she does want me to talk, but I’m not good at reading women’s body language.

  • chris
    July 27, 2011 | Permalink |

    I just want to make it clear that yes it is possible to stop looking. Our actions are just that, our actions. We are not robots that can not override our programming. I just want to say that it is like playing dodge ball every day each day. That is ridiculously annoying. And the women who complain must ask themselves if they themselves dress provocatively when they go outside when they are in a relationship because they contribute to this. I would imagine if I just dangled my penis out of my pants people who look regardless if they liked that sort of thing or not because it stands out. Now staring is up to the person. The more I try to stop this sort of eye candy impulse the more I realize how bizarre our society really is. No matter the temperature or occasion you will see women walking around wearing scantily clad apparel. Now ask yourself something, does it really matter if an article of clothing is denim or cotton shorts or not if it covers the same percentage of your flesh as a pair of underwear? Or if your clothes are so form fitting it looks like near body paint? If you ask me the drug dealer is just as much to blame as the drug addict. If you are at the beach are you not wearing intimate clothing? Are women not wearing bras designed as casual dress, come on people wake up. Women, as just as easily to blame as the culprits for this crime as the guys are guilty for looking. I see women in the office wearing form fitting skirts, form fitting black or grey dress pants where the buttocks are clearly defined and you want to be treated like equals And not sexual objects? You go to church, school, college, and it’s all the same thing. What a joke! Wear clothes people and cover your bodies, quit wearing make up like glamour models and watch how little guys notice or are no longer tempted to look. So to all the guys out there getting bashed for responding to the life time of Hippocratic brainwashing you have received, try to be respectful to your girls but realize they are not free of hypocrisy and blame for soliciting this response. To all the women out there Dress like a guy, and you will be treated like a guy. Dress like a guy and you will have no more whistles , double takes, heads turning, cat calls, Nada, zip, zilch, nothing, zero because truth be told women in there natural state dressed conservatively are not attractive. Maybe you can say beautiful or pretty or what ever, but not (ATTRACT-TIVE). They will not attract attention. If you dress like your in the bed room you get what you give.

  • August 10, 2011 | Permalink |

    It’s true every guy stare at girls while walking on the street, shopping malls, in trains and buses.
    But all of them NOT stare at girls with same intention(ex:Looking at breast some thing else),yes some guys stare for that purpose only.Some guys stare just like casual look. I think it’s human(men) tendency.So GIRLS don’t think all guys are same.

  • Jenny
    August 14, 2011 | Permalink |

    @Chris you sound like a misogynistic pervert. Yes there are certain girls that wear clothes showing some skin. But not all women should wear guy clothes because you can’t keep your eyes in your head.

  • kyle
    August 25, 2011 | Permalink |

    @Jenny lol, awesome job at taking good logic and still telling the person they’re wrong, sssooo stereotypical

  • September 16, 2011 | Permalink |

    Thanks KYLE :) sorry jenny but its the truth. Girls look at guys watching because they are aware they have something on display to be seen. Where a guy looks is his right. They are his eyes, he is not touching you. In the public a guy has the legal right to photograph you if he wants to so long as its not used to advertise or slander you. So if he can do that, then it should say something about what one should expect that public does not entitle privacy. So you decide what you wear and if you wear something that shows nothing…no one will look. Try it. wear no make up just the way guys don’t. wear shorts to the beach instead of panty bottoms and watch how all men are magically able to control themselves. Funny thing is women look at women too because its not even so much a guy thing as it is you are trying to get attention so you can complain about it later. If I wear no shirt and shorts and go out jogging I see women try to look at me, just as I see women tap their friends on the shoulder to point out a attractive guy whose well built. Do you leave money on the street and get shocked and angry if someone picks it up? Girls are baiting for attention unless they dress conservatively and modestly. I think guys should try to not look just because it is the gentlmenly thing to do. so refrain from all the victim drama and cover up your junk ya silly girls : )

  • September 16, 2011 | Permalink |

    Well, here it goes, as a guy who recently got married I have had a big problem shutting down this habit. I hate it. I have been looking at women this way for 30 years. I mean it really sucks! when you are a kid watching cartoons you see the wolf see the saloon girl and his eyes pop out and his tongue rolls out like a red carpet but when he see’s the large woman he runs straight through a wall and leaves his silhouette trying to escape. as boys growing up we are bombarded with images and the mystic of the woman’s form. this kind of brain washing sucks and is not fair because women try to emulate these sexual images so when ever you see something that resembles the image you have this incredible impulse to assess and evaluate. It’s not so much a feeling that you even want that person but just that novelty of seeing something that resembles that perfect image walking around in real life. women complain but then again, its hypocritical if you are in a relationship and you wear make up. are you really wearing for him? If you say yes I wear it for him, then why do you not wear it at home if you don’t plan on going out? it is just going to have an affect on other men who grew up trained to notice the tools of attraction. look I’m not defending nothing just explaining that a life time habit to be shut down automatically is unreasonable. The more you complain about it the more it becomes like forbidden fruit, like telling someone not to think of pink elephants and then it becomes hard not to think of them. I feel if a woman doesn’t want a man to look they should never go out of the house dressed to impress. The outside world is full of advertising women. if you saw a rare sports car driving on the street the kind you only see in magazines believe me, you will turn your head. Women look at other women’s breasts and evaluate them. Well imagine going outside and everywhere you look you got em driving all over the place. women should stop dressing provocatively and realize that its difficult for men to try to not look at women walking out side everywhere. Women are trying to compete in a contest of who can where the least amount of clothes and wear the biggest mask of makeup. Its annoying. Believe me I feel the most amount of peace when people wear clothes and don’t show off their bodies. I don’t go to strip clubs, they come to me in public. even girls who aren’t hot but naked would get attention. guys don’t walk around in underwear and super bodies so girls can’t relate and brag how they don’t look and the guys who do dress for attention, DO get looked at by women. Guys wear baggy clothes and are not used as much as women in sensual promotion in everything even hamburger commercials for crying out loud. Guys wear baggy pants and shirts and suits. even formal wear for women is provocative. As far as women who dress modestly….I couldn’t say, because they are invisible to me, just like guys are. Can a man over come this? of course, but he will be going against his whole life time of training to look and ever growing world full of people trying to get your attention. so it will take time and effort and maybe a pair of sunglasses lol. I love my wife and I am with her all the time. I try to not look and am trying. I would do more for her than any of your men would do for you, but its not without difficulty and she is worth every effort.

  • Nathan
    October 17, 2011 | Permalink |

    .I think women should not take it personal or be offended because that is a personal insecurity thing. You should not feel as though your worth is your appearance and your man is with you for this reason and any attractive person is a threat simply because your man acknowledges this fact.

    Men asses wide hips small waist, sizable breasts , height degree of fitness in muscle, skin tones, skin health, hair, facial coloration indicating health walking gate and posture. all these things are programmed in the mind for suitable partners, which make healthy off spring.

    when a man falls in love with a woman his ability and desire to asses and evaluate the imagery that stimulate his mental programming doesn’t shut off. It doesn’t program its self to only recognize this woman he is with. believe me I wish it would!

    If he stopped being attracted to these women which is what our wives and girl friends really want, that would also include you. Then there would only be love, which for a guy would seriously compromise his ability to get an erection.lol

    yes I know blind men can get an erection. There are four ways men get erected.
    1 physical stimulus which is not as fast as visual,
    2.visual which everyone assumes is the only way
    3. mentally, which most women rely on, but takes longer.
    4. and being very relaxed, this is why you wake up erected when you are asleep, very comfortable, knocked out, or hanging.

    women don’t need to be turned on to get pregnant, but guys do need imagery to perform the act, so guys are visual more than women have an excuse to be. The love he posses makes him fight this programming but its still there. if he doesn’t look he still wants to.

    Its not personal. he will not go and chase after her.
    If you are deeply upset you have issues. An attractive person is trying to get attention and has nothing to do with your man wanting to trade up. that is a ridiculous notion. Men simply like to look at eye candy variety. It has nothing to do with their hearts or their mates.

    Women will never understand this concept because even if they restrain from looking at men that they would like to look at, men and women are still two different biological designs. Sexually, men are biologically and socially aggressive while women are defensive in the game so to speak.

    So unless you somehow remove his sexual neurological glands and reproductive organs, his sexual engine will continue to acknowledge the imagery that stimulates it. This is why he wants to see you naked. You posses shapes and curves that register in his mind as female.
    If he doesn’t look at other women who might posses these similar shapes and curves, he still really really wants to.

    There is still something to be said that he also posses love for his wife or girl friend which he doesn’t for the simple image walking down the street. However with that being said. Men should understand that women will never understand this concept and should try to accommodate them as ridiculously impossible as it may feel when women solicit attention with make up perfected faces, in their never ending battle of female glamour competition.

    When a man is with a woman he should resist his urge to look at the woman like a magazine picture if only for the sake of making your woman appear to others as though you no longer have interest in female anatomy

    your wife wants to believe she has reprogrammed your biological design with her all consuming movie magic love, which made your brain only recognize her specific female shape as being female. and all other female images now appear to you receptive brain synapses as dudes.

    This will make her feel better. Funny thing is even if a man doesn’t look, does it matter when you know he wants to?

    However remember that self restraint with time will become habitual, just as not restraining. Even though you want to look and she wants you to pretend you don’t, try. Just try. You have the ability no refrain, so don’t lie to yourself., If you have a cousin you mentally program yourself not to check her out, as you do your mom and your sister.

    It is by no means EASY, but possible and if you knew how painful and humiliating it is to women (who don’t and never will understand what it is like to be a man) you would give every effort to think as all those images walking by in high heels, tight or form fitting clothes make up, and hair salon (look at me) tricks and tools….as your sister.

    P.S
    the more porn,picture, videos and tv you watch the harder this will be to overcome.
    and yeah I think someone mention sunglasses. Thats a good Idea but I’m sure everyone already knows and does this.

  • hannah
    October 27, 2011 | Permalink |

    So theirs this guy ive liked for a long time but he has never talked to me! but he looks at me… i try not to look but most of time i dont but i want to just to see if he looking at me! but i see him all the time like i try to avoid him but he always pops us! & i dont know if he thinks im pretty or not. because alot of people say i look like my brother and he friends with my brother so i dont know what to think. but my best guy friend says he looks at me alot too, but what excatly does that mean … PLEASE BE HONESTLY I NEED ADVICE!!! plus i dont think im like the prettiest thing like theirs other girls way prettier than me at school so i think why would he go for me is that normal? also he the the quater back of my schools football team so hes popular but hes a nice guy people say but please help me. i need some advice! write back please!!!

  • Ben
    December 19, 2011 | Permalink |

    This article is so horrendously wrong. So shallow. With quotes like “he may be a nice guy (if he looks good!)” and “I don’t mind if a guy stares at me, as long as he’s great looking.”

    A guy can be nice regardless of his looks.

    I find it good social skills to make eye contact. But when I make eye contact with a woman it doesn’t mean I want to sleep with her.

    A glance can be flattering. You should be more worried when men look away when they see you.

  • Wilson
    December 20, 2011 | Permalink |

    @ BEN, you’re an ugly guy, aren’t you?

  • emar
    January 11, 2012 | Permalink |

    i am getting a bitter aura from this article. I think someone is jealous of their hot friend. and to answer your question:
    guys stare at hot girls simply because those girls look good. Just like how you eat good food, it tastes good.

  • January 28, 2012 | Permalink |

    @ sef “and if they don’t listen, knee them in the balls, not hard though, because it really is the most painful thing possible.”

    Wow, you are one stupid little princess if you think you can do that because someone is looking at you. I think you should try and see what happens to you afterwards.

    Just be nice and respectful to people, that guy looking at you might only be shy and actually a very nice person. But of course you are too shallow to see that like 99% of young western women.

  • renee
    February 9, 2012 | Permalink |

    What about when a man is WITH his girlfriend and still oogling other women? What is the reason for this? He should have self control, shouldn’t he??

  • Truth
    March 7, 2012 | Permalink |

    It’s true, the only reason why guys are tempted to look is because of the way most girls dress. I’ve always asked myself why women wear such tight jeans, tights, shirts, have their breasts out, etc.. but then turn around and say they don’t like to be stared at??? So why do you wear those types of things? I can’t even count the number of times per day I see a girl with see through tights on, practically showing every outline of your body including your private parts. So why do women dress like that??? Why go to the gym with the tightest form fitting pants you can find and a little tube top? Why do you wear underwear to the beach and lay out??? Of course guys will look. The only way to stop guys from looking or if you truly DO NOT want the attention, then you have to cover up and wear baggy pants and shirts. It is what it is. You create your own destiny.

  • March 18, 2012 | Permalink |

    wow.just by reading ALL the comments they give you the correct answers to this one question.Even though most of them make you feel awkward or whatever.
    Because some boy that asked my friend out and stalked my other friend last year,was staring DEAD at me across the room at lunch,i was day dreaming while he was staring.then i just glanced up and he was string at me! I didn’t notice it at first but then i looked again and gave him a look like “WHAT THE F? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME ,RETARD”5 seconds after i shifted my body in the opposite direction,and told my friends .he glanced back once or twice after .
    WOW what a creep! UGH!

  • Katelynn Kegarise
    April 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    This guy at my school stares at me constantly. All of my classes. He stares at me during lunch. He even purposely sat next to me so we could work together on a school project. He is nice cause we have talked before. But every time I look up all I see is his eyes staring at me. I don’t know what to do cause when we work I forget and then when he runs back to his friends I remember again. What should I do?

  • Dan_LA
    April 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    Girls do the same thing to guys I’ve seen it. I’ve seen girls taking pics of guys too. Honestly it should be taken as a compliment. I’ve stared as well and I do feel guilty at times so I was googling to figure out how to stop. It seems like if ur the alpha of the area u can stare and the girls enjoy it but if you’re the beta they detest the stare and will run away.

  • lousie
    April 8, 2012 | Permalink |

    I don’t mind if any one stares at me, it’s a compliment not something to be angry about, even if they are undressing you in their minds. It’s really hot when it’s some one you’re attracted to as well, girls and guy do it. There’s this guy I’ve been doing the eye game for ages with, both he and I know what we really want to do, so it makes it hotter when we do it in a room full of people who have no idea what’s going on.

  • My opinion
    May 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    I briefly check out a woman’s body but I mostly pay attention to their faces. Never do I stare at a woman’s parts for I personally believe it’s somewhat degrading. It’s hard sometimes when all you can do is look though because you know you have no chance. I find it kind of difficult to not look at a girl; I just love everything about them. From their physical sexiness, personality, to the way they walk and carry themselves. I must muster up some confidence if I want to take the next step. I do agree that there a creeps who stare at women for sexual pleasure but not all men who stare at women are that low.

  • Tyler
    May 6, 2012 | Permalink |

    “Some guys stare because they don’t know what else to do.” Huh? And whoever whines that someone is staring at them in interest should get over it. You’re lucky anyone’s looking and they won’t be forever. So bask it in while it lasts. That goes for women AND men.

  • Nikita
    May 9, 2012 | Permalink |

    Hi guys I am winnie.. I really wanna tell u guys something Im in class X.. There is a guy in my class who stares at me so much!! See the thing is he’s a good guy! I like him but I dont like if he stares at me.. He stares at me alot and whenever I stare at him back he looks smewhere else.. pretending that he was not loooking at me. Uhu! This has been going on since 3months. And He doesn’t even talk to me. Not at all.. Once I was talkin to my friend and he was just behind me! I hve never felt this before I know fOR a girl its really nice tht some1 (good lookng) guy is giving u attention! But I cannot handle it anymore.. Pls! Guys help me I need help How shaLL i Handle this situaion. PLEASE READ THIS I DONT MIND IF GUYS ALSO HAVE SUGGESTIONS BUT PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE – NIKITAA :D

  • Nic Bjorlin
    May 12, 2012 | Permalink |

    There is a big problem in today’s dating scene. Check that: there are lots of problems. I’ll try to focus on just a few of them.

    First, the very definition of good looking = good to look at. Why would anyone not want to be this? The word ‘good’ is included in the term. If someone takes this compliment as a negative, it’s a defeatist attitude. Sometimes people hate others because they hate themselves.

    Second, the dating scene is still (unfortunately) gendered. There’s still this silly notion in heterosexual dating that only men should be the pursuers. Obviously, this article reinforces the notion that the role of pursuer is not held in high regard anymore. If it were, the compliments would be taken as a positive versus negative. Women have been enabled to take on a pseudo pursuer role. They will premeditate a “perfect type of man” and map out all of life’s outcomes. It’s really like being the dating version of a Ted Bundy or Jeff Dahmer (they keep dating the same man over and over just with different names each time and each time it has the same dreaded result once the hype’s washed away). Variety’s the way to go about dates and many men have that idea down cold.

    Also, non-verbal communication is a part of our culture. Looking is a non-verbal act and sometimes men look longer when they’re intending on getting some kind of cue out of women before they would physically approach. I’m no fan of guys approaching women JUST because they’re aesthetically pleasing. Obviously, if a man does approach, I’d bet most of the time yes, he does find the woman good looking. That can’t be the reason he physically approached, though as that’s one-dimensional. Facial expressions, eye contact, and body language matter in the courtship phase. It conveys how a woman carries herself character wise. It’s funny (not in a ha-ha way) how women can pretend to be social people by having 800 friends on Facebook or form instant same-sex friendships with random women in a supermarket, class, or picnic but not have the slightest bit of sociability in public with the opposite sex. Some men are reactive and play off of women’s personal conduct in terms of asking a woman for anything. Men are visual just like women are. It’s just that men admit it and women downplay it or mix emotional attachment with their eye candy to justify it. it justifies itself. If you see someone and think they’re good looking, you should be allowed to express that opinion without caring what society thinks.

    The pursuer role is a role of leadership and control. It’s a shame it’s no longer respected these days. Women have no shame being the fake pursuer (wanting a man but not actually asking one out or paying for a meal) or worse, talking out both sides of the mouth. They insist based on tradition men should pursue, but what these women won’t admit is that they want to control all aspects of the pursuit: who gets to do it, what is said, when it happens, where it happens, why the man pursued, and how he does it. With the role being a meaningless one (especially if a woman lives her life based on predetermined outcomes), I totally see where men are using non-verbals to express a compliment to a woman. If men aren’t looking, ladies, that’s not a good problem to have. Furthermore, if you want eye candy in your lives, take the initiative. Lesbians pursue and are very successful with it. Gay men get asked out and they’re successful. What’s keeping the heterosexual female behind with the times?

  • Nikita (wnnie)
    May 20, 2012 | Permalink |

    Guys will u pls bother to help me. Im in class X and it distracts me alot. I was iin a hope that u guys will give me any suggestions as i d any1 to share with. but i think tht there is no point trusting the sites such! coz every1 thinks abt themselves not bother to help.
    Thank U so muchh!.

  • kevin wilkes
    May 28, 2012 | Permalink |

    Hi,kevin joining in the interesting topic of expressing yourself by staring,first @Hannah,@katelinn@nikkita, I found it integiresting that the writers of this topic did not give any assistance to these ladies,my opinion ladies if you are having a problem with these guys staring ,the main concern you are missing are the negative responses you are programing yourselves with ,ladies you will always be noticed because in your unique way without even trying you at this point and time in your life you made some man notice that women are also one of the best creation on this planet ,men stare because ladies express themselves in ways without doing it on purpose,ladies you provide a gift for us that stimulate men visually, give yourself permission to understand that their will always be a man who will
    desire you,learn to be comfortable with being noticed,if you see a guy staring at you ,do the one thing most women don’t do smile at him and when you pass by or see him alone say hi ,if you want to break the staring ,smile and say hi,wave, if he approach you ,all you have to say is ,I think your cute ,but I am trying to work things out with my boyfriend,no one has to know you are not involved,its not lying ,this called distraction,and giving the impression you are not available right now but friends are always nice to have . on the other hand if you are staring at a guy and you like him except that all the guys you see every day ,this one or several guys are versions of men you would like to share your time with, you may get get the one you like ,but you must see you are a lady and someone desires you ,if you are wondering what excites men about women,these are the gifts you have that attracts men,face,eye color,,long,curly,wavy,straight ,short hair styles,lips,breasts,round asses,nice legs,pretty feet,pretty hands,dresses,skirts,nylons,open toe shoes,low or high heeled shoes,bending over,squatting,sitting,standing,any movement that involves you touching yourself,playing with your hair ,rubbing your feet,sliding your feet out your shoes,your shoes dangling off your toes,,cleavage,skirts with splits,designed nylons,a unique designed boot or shoe,a unique design coat,
    do you see how easy it is for men to stare ,look,or admire you because thier is no substitute for you on this planet,without you even trying ,you are desired,except that you are a visual creation and we desire you even if all we can have is to be present in your company from a distance. Sorry for rambling its just one my quirks,we all have some .I don’t know if I helped you ladies ,but I appreciate this opportunity.

    desire you ,it will not always be the one you want ,but you are still desired,ladies men go through phases in our life trying to find happiness and joy an

  • Nikita
    June 3, 2012 | Permalink |

    Ohkay! Thanx.. yaa! But the the thing is that when I try to talk to him he is quite rude but all the time he stare at me… Dont know how to handle the situation. I like him! BUT I dont feel its the rite time to go out cz studies,boards are on head… but I dnt want to break frndship with him infact we dont talk either.. My prob is quite critical! Im v. confused :/
    Nikita :P

  • June 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    I think men can stare all they want.. doesn’t bother me. Gives me more confidence when I’m able to turn many heads in many places XD lol. Men try their best, and they’re not all the same.

  • Rozell
    July 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    Did you know that some people live their whole life alone you should be thankful for any human contact anybody gives you no matter how small or big. I’ll repeat this………..some people on earth live their whole life alone……..think deep

  • Jamie
    September 26, 2012 | Permalink |

    Zeke – If a woman is attracted to you, you’ll be the first to know it.

  • Jen
    September 27, 2012 | Permalink |

    Kevin, lovely words for all women in general. John’s words are also true, as women we should be nice and respectful to men but at the same time cautious when need be. Women should never become shallow in their everyday interactions with men, we should carry a sense of grace as this is viewed as beauty in the eyes of the beholder.

    Sometimes we need to look beyond the stare, so to speak, see the individual for who they truly are and often time we are not even giving them that opportunity but rather judging them.

    If you are not attracted to the individual staring, don’t lead them on but in the same token show some grace and at the very least acknowledge the compliment in some way either by a glance or a little smile. By taking this kind of action a woman does not come across as “up herself” but as a fellow individual with just the same feelings and emotions men have.

  • kate
    October 5, 2012 | Permalink |

    I think we should differentiate between the guys who stare just to make girls uncomfortable (the ones in the big groups) and the guys who just look because they see something attractive, just like staring at a beautiful painting, or sniffing in the smell from the bakery. It gives pleasure, humans seek pleasure. Women stare too.. when we see a guy that is attractive we stare, or glance depending on the circumstances. It’s normal behaviour and can be controlled somewhat. Now there is no one to blame in particular, not men not women! The difference is women tend to dress more provocatively, beautify themselves. I’m heterosexual and I look at beautiful women who are all made up etc. Let’s be honest, girls who dress sexy want attention from men, and they will probably not get mad at all if a man stares, unless she doesn’t like the man doing the staring. Yes, hipocritical I know.. but that is life. And there is nothing wrong with dressing up sexy as long as it isn’t slutty, if you are wanting some male attention (e.g. out clubbing). This is also normal, women attract men in this way, so the man will come make the move, of course this is a big generalization, but you get the idea. When I dress up a bit sexy, it makes me feel more confident and I will attract men easier, and then all the other reasons, we dress bc we like fashion, we like to look good etc. Now dressing sexy doesn’t mean tightest possible clothes, revealing skin, and girls with good taste will know this. When a woman dresses showing half of her body, super high heels, lots of make-up etc. She does it for attention and just shouldn’t complain. If you are dressed somewhat sexy but not provocatively, you will get the attention anyway if you want, but men won’t stand there staring and grinning with a dirty look, bc he knows you aren’t looking for that attention, for the rest.. I feel glancing is harmless, we do it everyday all day, we all observe people so wtf right, why not look a bit longer at something pretty, like a flower or a girl or a hot guy. It should just make a girl feel better when a guy does this. THEN there is always the first group I mentioned, the guys that will stare bc they are just jerks, they will stare no matter how you are dressed, if he likes something in you, he and his friends will stare, grin etc.. The simplest thing to do is not pay any attention, show indifference, and walk away. But ultimately I agree that when a girl dresses sexy, or a guy, bc men do it too, it’s bc they want people to look.

  • kate
    October 5, 2012 | Permalink |

    I also think, men will stare more if it’s more taboo to stare. It’s the forbidden fruit. In countries where women dress more conservatively, men will go crazy if they see some flesh(so will women). But for example in Europe, where the naked body is less taboo, and especially in southern countries, where people dress with less clothes bc of the heat, people are used to see flesh, it’s everywhere, so a girl would really have to dress a bit slutty, to get this bad attention that would make her uncomfortable. I notice when I’m on the beach in Portugal, where I am from. Guys will not stare uncontrolably at girls in their bikinis. It’s a normal part of life, it’s less sexualized. I will probably get more attention going out at night, all dressed up bc men will think I’m looking for the attention, so they think it’s almost mandatory to stare, as part of the game.

  • John Billingsley
    October 7, 2012 | Permalink |

    Sexism goes both ways: Not all men stare.

  • chris60
    October 9, 2012 | Permalink |

    Nothing beats eye sex as an anticipatory or passionate exchange. If you like someone you find yourself drawn to pay attention to them, and if this attention and attraction is reciprocated, sharing eye contact intensifies the erotic exchange and can be extremely sensual. There is the sleazy stare, the cheeky stare and the share your soul stare. Guess it all boils down to reading people and their intentions. Most affairs begin with a look…. Some looks burn deeper than others. I prefer a man who stares deeply into my eyes than a man gawking at my butt or cleavage. It suggests that he is probing me for more than merely a physical exchange. Eyes are the windows to the soul and most expressive organ on a person’s body. Returning eye contact can leave a person feeling bare and vulnerable, but a lot can be read from a person’s eyes, and intention is something that deserves being scrutinised rather than assumed. Men who look at women may find them attractive and pleasant rather than merely sexualised objects. Imprinting the memory of an attractive person into your memory is healthy not perverted. Obsessive people tend to stare at what they like. If it creeps you, look away; if you like the looker, dare to return the gaze. Sometimes it also boils down to cultural difference and this can create confusion and misunderstanding. Westerners are taught that is is rude to stare, other cultures see it as a mark of curiousity, admiration or interest.

  • MidnightSunshine
    December 5, 2012 | Permalink |

    Girls, if you dress skimpily, but are not in the business, you may look as if you are advertising. If you advertise, don’t get annoyed when a shopper inspects what he may think is a product. Many guys think that you are soliciting attention. Don’t prostitutes dress provocatively to get attention? Sometimes men do not know what to think. Your choice of dress is a message, and various men may read it differently.

    Girls walk around with bulging cleavage, tight, revealing clothing that give the precise shapes of everything that should be hidden. Now, suppose guys walked around with tight, too-small shorts with testicles bulging from the hems. Suppose they walk around with half of their buttocks exposed. Won’t women stare? Yes! What do women think about this? Some may say, 1) He looks hot! 2) I bet he is gay! 3) That guy must be a weirdo. 4) I bet he is fun but not my idea of a boyfriend. 5) Yuck, he looks disgusting! When guys stare, we never know what’s on their minds. It could be 1) Such dressing is why some women get raped. 2) She is a dish! 3) She looks like a whore. 4) Wow! If only I could get that babe! 5) I wouldn’t want my lady showing all of her goodies to other guys. 6) I want to hit that, but I wouldn’t want to date her. 7) That’s why perverts stalk them. 8) She leaves nothing for the imagination. 9) I wish I could get her attention. There are all types of guys with all types of minds and thoughts. We will never know what they are really thinking. Whether they have good or bad intentions, if they approach you, most will say what they think a girl wants to hear, some will say something repulsive, and some will say something crazy or hard to process.

    Men have a right to look, although they may annoy women when they look too long; and women have a right to dress legally as they please, although men who notice them may have various opinions of them. Some ladies pretend that they do not want the attention, and some want it and enjoy the stares. Men are aware of this. Ladies’ body language and dress should reflect what they want onlookers to think of them. Until someone comes up with a way to read minds, real men will usually interpret women as they see them. Tacky men will say or think whatever makes them feel good.

  • Mimi
    December 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    All of you people are assuming that women who get stared at must be dressing provocatively and therefore shouldn’t complain about the attention they get. But what about girls like me who are literally ALWAYS covered from head to toe and get several strange stares on a daily basis? 95% of the time only my face is showing, so you guys can’t just assume that it only happens to women who dress provocatively. It’s really annoying to read things like that- you can’t force everyone into one category.

  • Je
    December 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    I usually make it obvious that I noticed AND that I think they’re retarded by blatantly rolling my eyes. ( The bright whites of the underside of my eyeballs seem to scare their dumbfuck looks away. c: )

    Sometimes after giving them a dirty “wtf are you possessed or something” glare.

  • Chaos
    January 30, 2013 | Permalink |

    Just had to throw this out there, that a lot of women dress the way they dress because it makes themselves feel good. Not because they CRAAAVE the attention. It just makes them feel more confident.

    Also, some of the dudes on here are acting like they are mindless slaveswhen it comes to women. Like that Chris dude for example. Apparently men have no self control according to him? So a women’s right to express herself should be taken away due to the fact that men can’t deal with being sexually attracted them?

    Guys, he’s making you all look like animalistic barbarians.

  • April 17, 2013 | Permalink |

    A woman is 180 lbs and has pockmarks on her face from acne. she wears tight fitting clothes because she doesnt have much money and hasn’t gone out for a while because she is self conscious. her dream guy is brad pitt. she has posters of him in her room and she dreams of a guy like him. in her head, he is the man of her dreams. romantic, gorgeous,sexual, and smart. she spends 18-22 being single because nobody thinks she is worthy because she isnt “a skinny blonde” and she is overweight. one day she walks into the mall finally getting the courage to go out in public and shop for new clothes that fit better. as she goes into the mall she sits at the food court and gets a salad because she wants to one day be skinny and attractive like all the girls she sees everyday walking around with handsome boyfriends. she sits down and she sees 3 guys 2 tables away . the 2 guys are average looking but the 3rd guy is amazing looking..just like brad pitt but taller. she pretends to be focusing on her salad and cellphone but occasionally looks up to glance at those deep brown eyes. He catches her looking at him and starts smiling to his guy friends and she blushes and looks down. she hears him talking to his friends as they get up to leave and she looks up and just before leaving he turns his head to both of his friends and starts barking like a dog “woof woof woof ahhaha” he left her there considering her as unworthy and a nobody and totally ruined the perceived notion she had that what is beautiful is good. …..This is what pretty girls do to “nice unattractive guys” every day of the week.

  • April 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    Why do guys stare at girls seems like a dumb question and what, you girls dont stare at guys? Dont make me laugh! I’m a very VERY unlucky guy, I almost NEVER meet girls my age or around my age these days and especially girls that I’m attracted to. I might just stare at a beautiful woman from shear shock that she is beautiful. I also might stare because I’m the shyest guy on earth and could never in a million years ask her out. OH AND DONT THINK YOU GUYS ARE LIKE ME!!! I love women to death, but I’ve either been to shy to perhaps even talk to her, let alone ask her on a date, OR I assume shes married with 20 kids already and her holding a toddler “thats not hers” doesnt help either. Dating in school has always been a joke to my dad, the younger, the more laughable. I’m 30 years old and never had a girlfriend or been kissed before by the way. HA, try to beat that.

    I’m getting to the point where I’m trying to break out of the no talking to probably the last beautiful girl I’ll ever meet and not getting to the point that ok now that you’re not shy anymore, NOW you’ll never meet another beautiful single girl for as long as you live. That’s just how I feel. I suppose that’s kind of how I feel if I even find a girl to stare at.

    OH YEAH and the fact that I feel just as “the comment before mine” JOHN describes, I think that in the back of my head which contributes a lot also. Women can be just as rude and disgusting like the disgusting guys they describe, just in other ways.

    Oh and ladies, if you catch a guy staring at you that you think is cute, it couldn’t hurt to smile back and wave. Odds are you ladies aren’t going to meet the guys of your dreams at a club or party, but at a normal location… fast food place, restaurant, k-mart~ish store, park etc…

  • Butch Lady
    April 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    I stare at women because there is something biological that draws my eyes to them. As kind
    All body parts – men and women’s parts alike. However when I look at women’s parts, I feel very self-conscious because I will be considered a dyky -perve. And so it turns into a creepy awkward stare. The creepiness is coming from a person self-consciousness.

    Most times, I am comparing, examining, and trying to put her down by finding flaws. It is a self-protection thing. Not all stares are for one reason. Some people are looking for ways to put you down in their minds so they can feel better about their own self – like me.

  • Kayla Ann Mac-Miller
    May 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    I went over to this guy’s house. We’d started talking through a friend and it was the first time we’d actually hung out. We had conversation, but there would be long stretches of time where we would just be staring at each other. After smoking a blunt with his roommates, we were both really high and laying on his bed… he sat up and again we were staring at each other (with immense sexual tension exploding between us) and smiling.

    He said “Sooo… what do you want to do?”
    I said, “I don’t care” getting out everything I could manage
    He raised his eyebrows in amusement and said, “really?”
    I could only nod.

    He leaned down on his elbow and we stared at each-other momentarily before he kissed me.

    Before I knew it, he was scooting me up to the headboard with his weight pressing down on me, in a satisfyingly seductive manner…

  • Bazil Bourgeois
    August 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    So “Wren, 31″ is a “guy”, and that’s why she knows the reason guys stare because she has male genitalia and is a man apparently…..

  • Justine
    August 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    OK, ladies, just so you know. This never ends. I drove an 85 year old man to a doctor appt. today, and he ogled a 14 year old girl the whole time he was waiting. Of course she had the tough girl teen attitude going on, and the cut off shorts up to her butt. I was uncomfortable, her mom was uncomfortable, and I don’t know if she had the brains to be uncomfortable or not. Oh my word. He is at the age that he has many health problems. I suppose looking at under age girls, or any girl, for that matter, makes him feel better. But it was so embarrassing. Like slurping soup, some people just have no manners.

  • Kristin
    October 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    So I’m a middle schooler and my school is very small so 5/6 is one class and 7/8 is one class.
    Every Friday we have gym altogether. So we were all on the floor touching our toes. I was looking down because right across from me was a seventh grade boy and I’m a sixth grader. So when our gym teacher was talking, I would look up and listen but that seventh grader, who is new was staring at me and I just looked back down. Then our gym teacher made us sit on the floor for 20 minutes because two fifth graders crashed and that was his final straw. So I had nothing to do so I looked around the gym at everyone there. The new seventh grader was looking at me and he doesn’t even talk to me only once at the water fountain so it’s really weird I already have 4 other boys liking me so idk if he likes me or not.?!

  • Missy
    October 19, 2013 | Permalink |

    I hope my boyfriend isn’t cheating on me with a boyfriend stealer

  • John the third
    October 26, 2013 | Permalink |

    I generally when I look at women look at their faces. I also tend to look at women who seem to be looking at me. A guy isn’t always looking at your bust or butt. A guy may stare because you look familiar, a guy may stare because he finds you attractive, a guy might stare because you stand out for some reason (could be wearing something that is uncommon but not necesarily provacative). I stared at one girl today because she was walking around campus in this dinosaur costume and it’s just something you don’t see everyday. I remember staring at a girl who had an afro because it looked really cool and it’s something you don’t see everyday (I of course said “Nice hair” out of awkwardness). Also when I look at a girl who is attractive nothing sexual or perverted is going through my mind. I’d also like to point out that I also look at guys too. (I’m not bi or anything I’m ace). I would also like to point out I have had bisexual female friends look at women out of attraction too.

  • Janette
    November 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    Staring without saying anything is cowardly in my estimation and yes it is annoying.

  • Adrian
    December 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    This is crazy, you make it sound like a crime. Has everyone forgotten that men are visual creatures? I look at a girl because she looks good. Yeah, I don’t stand a chance, but still, you are there and available to look at. Are you saying someone walking past a Ferrari showroom should not look at the cars through the window, only because he can’t afford one? This is ridiculous. Men always dream way out of the box, we look at girls we know we’ll probably never have, just like we dream about stuff we will probably never achieve. That’s how we are, that’s why we invent stuff and conquer the world with wild ideas and dreams – and you know why? Because sometimes dreams become reality, and when they do, you are damn grateful that you dared to dream. I’m really getting tired of women blaming men for everything, everything that goes wrong today in their lives is a man’s fault. They blame their fathers, their husbands, their boss, they guy at the office and even the guy in the street they don’t know for everything. It’s always because men stare, aren’t rich enough, hot enough, tall enough, good enough in bed, ambitious enough, loving enough, caring enough, sensitive enough, classy enough, stimulating enough, intelligent enough, etc. etc. Well, enough is enough, which is why I don’t care anymore, and will stare as much as I want to, and if you have a problem with it, why not confront me about it, face to face? You always accuse men of not having balls, but I don’t see any women taking action with regards to the millions of problems men seem to cause in their lives.

  • khronos
    January 14, 2014 | Permalink |

    I never look or stare at girls to me its like they dont exist even the fact that there are more women then men in the world i dont care i only want to life a good life so i die twice as fast so i can get a new better life wich doesnt bore me everything i do bores me withing 2 minuts thats wy i cant wait till my future reincarnation stil i lile my current life anyway

  • maggie
    March 24, 2014 | Permalink |

    1 guy stares at me daily whnevr i go to skool . its been more than a year bt still he stares at me very badly . i tried everythng to avoid him or stop him to stare me bt nthng happened . i’m jst tired of him… plz… plz …tell me some ideas so that i can stop him staring at me

  • Tech-geek
    April 7, 2014 | Permalink |

    We stare at people we like.

  • ??????????? ?????? ?????????
    April 18, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have heard rumors that google is going to come out with an operating system. Is there any truth to this? and if so, can you tell me some information about it.

Join In!

Something you wanna say about this feature? Enjoy a great conversation right here...

Your email is never shared. Required fields are marked *

Love Couch

Flirting Flings

Sensual Tease

Men

Women

My Life

Travel and Health

Entertainment