How to Be Flirty While Maintaining Class and Poise

The most masterful—and tasteful—women know how to flirt with style. So here we round up 12 of the most effective ways to be flirty and classy.

how to be flirty

Flirting can be fun… and it may land you that cute guy you’ve had a crush on since forever. However, done wrong, it could easily backfire on you, ending with a lot of embarrassment on your part—that is, if the guy is not also embarrassed for you.

The secret to flirting is to not make it seem like flirting. You have to act naturally and subtly if you want the right guy to notice you. And this means you have to be classy, and not trashy, slutty, tacky, or desperate.

How to be flirty with class and poise

If you’re used to damsel-in-distress or drama queen tactics to get a man’s attention, then your moves—and you—need to pack and get back to the Stone Age. Nowadays, men like women with confidence and class.

So read up on these tips to turn your seductive repertoire up a notch and finally take that cute guy home… or at least have him ask for your number. [Read: How to look sexy without trying to look sexy]

#1 Leave a little to the imagination. The “if you have it, flaunt it” mantra many girls use doesn’t apply here. If you want to be noticed by guys without looking tacky or immature, you have to learn the art of dressing subtly sexy.

Show off only one part of your body—your best asset—and leave the rest to the guys’ imagination. In fact, you don’t even need to flaunt what you have all the time. Instead of skimpy, bare-all clothes, stick with classy ensembles with toned-down colors that hug your body in all the right places. [Read: 18 things you do that’ll make guys think you’re an easy lay]

#2 Lightly banter. Every classy woman that can make a guy’s heart melt knows how to converse—and not just talk. There’s a big difference. With talking, you just fire off what usually comes to mind, while conversing allows you to communicate in a deeper, more personal way.

While you don’t have to ask really personal questions, what you can do is to learn how to lightly banter with guys, keeping things light yet memorable, so they know you’re not all beauty, but brains, too! [Check out: How to flirt with a guy without really flirting at all]

#3 Use that half-smile. While that commercial, all-out smile can sell plenty of toothpaste, it will not get you anywhere if you want to flirt. First of all, smiling ear to ear makes you look like a twit, if not needy, lame, and like you’re trying too hard to please everybody.

Be confident with your expressions, even if it means you have a resting bitch face. Acknowledge a guy you *secretly* like with a simple half-smile, and do the same with everyone else. This makes you look more confident and mysterious, and can give you a commanding presence.

#4 Create eye contact. It may be a simple thing, but it’s a very effective way to flirt without being too forward or looking too desperate. If you see a guy you like from across the room, don’t stare at him. If you follow the above tips, he is sure to notice you.

If he does look at you, you’ll feel his gaze, and that’s when you create eye contact. You don’t have to be near him to make him feel a connection. Also, if you do get to talk, maintain eye contact at certain times in your conversation—especially when you want to make a point or an impression. [Try: 10 subtle eye contact flirting moves that always work]

#5 Be a tease. Let’s face it: guys like the chase. So why not create a mystery and keep it going long enough to keep them interested and excited? Instead of giving away all your information at the get-go, hold off certain information to keep guys guessing. If possible, you don’t even have to give your number immediately. If you already did and he calls, don’t answer his calls as soon as your phone rings. Make him work for it, and for you.

#6 Compliment sparingly but genuinely. Men like compliments as much as women. However, nothing can turn off both as effectively as a generic, lame, or even fake compliment. Many girls try to get a guy’s attention by showering him with compliments, but to stay classy, be observant enough to notice something unique about the guy and genuinely compliment him on it. If it’s true, he will definitely notice and appreciate you. Noticing how his eyebrows arch sarcastically when a less-classy woman is trying to flirt can go a long way.

#7 Use their names often. Nothing sounds sweeter to the ears than the sound of your own name. It’s the same with guys. Once you get introduced to each other, make it a point to say his name—often. This sends happy signals to his brain and will definitely make him remember you the most, out of everyone else. [Try: What to say to a guy you like to make him like you]

#8 Bring up the little things. If you have the same circle of friends, or if you frequently bump into each other, use these opportunities to get your classy flirt on. When you first meet, keep a mental note of all the details that he tells you, or keenly *but not too obviously* observe how he is. The next time you see each other again, bring up these little things about him. This is a clear signal that you not only notice him, but that you remembered him, which is already a big plus.

#9 Add a splash of light humor. Everyone likes humor. Guys like it when girls laugh at their jokes—even better when these girls can throw in a punch line or two of their own. Having a good sense of humor, without trying too hard to make people laugh, conveys that you are smart, witty, and confident enough to take things lightly. You can still be classy, but having humor draws a line between being charming and being stuck-up.

#10 Mind your manners. Good posture is always a plus in the game of attraction. More than that, however, is manners. What separates you from the skanky lot is how you carry yourself and how you behave. Be polite and considerate in conversations, know common courtesy words, and use them whenever necessary. Avoid interrupting people when they are talking and, best of all, be nice to the waiter. [Check out: The classy girl’s guide to be more attractive to men]

#11 Avoid drama. There’s a big difference between getting attention and drawing it. You can draw attention by how you act and talk around people, but when you start to create drama, that’s the kind of attention you don’t want.
Many girls think that guys will notice them and feel a need to protect them if they air out their problems. They may even create conflict with others, just so they will shine. However, a classy lady would do no such thing. Remember: you don’t have to blow out someone else’s candle just to make yours shine brighter.

#12 Be confident. If there’s one flattering thing that any woman can wear anytime and for free, it’s confidence. Having confidence in yourself means you don’t have to try so hard to make guys notice you.

Furthermore, this confidence will radiate from you, and you will be able to gravitate people toward you without having to put a lot of effort in. Those who are not sure of themselves are often the ones who look desperate for attention, and this is a major turn-off not only for guys, but for other people, as well.

[Next, read: 30 subtle, obvious and really sexy flirting tips for girls]

How can you be flirty? You don’t have to send raunchy text messages or keep liking his social media posts just to get attention. You don’t even have to dress sexy or have your entourage go with you wherever you go. After all is said and done, the only weapon that you need to disarm any man is Y-O-U.

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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...
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